has your or your partner's anatomy ever gotten in the way of sex

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like, has someone's penis been not the right dimensions to do a certain position?
is someones vagina simply not appealing to a boyfriend so you dont get oral affection? etc etc etc
or has someones penis been so big that you wont allow them near certain parts
or has someones vagina been so stupendous that a boyfriend simply wont put it anywhere else? etc etc

― percypantsisarguablybeingimmatureyetveryhonest, Sunday, 22 May 2005 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I get Mr. Floppy

Sometimes pussy stanks

Sometimes pussy is bone dry since your dumb ass is trying to hit her in her sleep

Sometimes you just have to be gangster about it.

― Coq at Sym's House (sym), Sunday, 22 May 2005 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://lashwhip.com/gif/einstein/p1010004_small.jpg

― elwisty (elwisty), Sunday, 22 May 2005 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes your cock's too big to fit in a condom.
Sometimes your cock doesn't seem like it'll fit in your partner.

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Sunday, 22 May 2005 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes your partner's allergic to latex...

*sings higher, music goes slower*

...and some-times you're a-ller-gic to POLY-URE-THAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 23 May 2005 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

*faster tempo kicks in*

COME ON EVERYBODY, SING WITH ME!

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 23 May 2005 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Look out everybody, it's SHOWTUNE TIME!!!

Sometimes you can't fit in other creatures... (*chant* "BESTIAL!")
Sometimes other creatures can't fit in you...

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 23 May 2005 12:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll become the next Andrew Lloyd Webber--
Y'all are brutalizin' me...
Y'all are brutalizin' me...
My ambitions are too overarchin'...
Y'all are brutalizin' me...

*CLAP CLAP*

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 23 May 2005 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Fingernails.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 23 May 2005 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Ouch! Definitely.

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 23 May 2005 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Teeth

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 23 May 2005 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

...and some-times you're a-ller-gic to POLY-URE-THRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 23 May 2005 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

*relinquishes the throne*

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 23 May 2005 14:35 (twenty-one years ago)

EXTRA FINGERS.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Monday, 23 May 2005 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

surely that just helps it along.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 23 May 2005 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

It worked for Anne Boleyn

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 23 May 2005 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, it did until her lack of a head got in the way of her sex life.

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 23 May 2005 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, why would that be? Who hasn't fucked a bloody hole before?

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Monday, 23 May 2005 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i expect autocunnilingus became easier though/

erm xpost

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 23 May 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

" [...] While reading a Harlan Ellison preface while getting a footrub from Anne Boleyn while [...] "

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Monday, 23 May 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

labia hotdog to have sexual intercourse without actual penetration. the labia are stretched around the penis and held in place whilst the thrusting brings ejaculation OUTSIDE the vagina. this is a common form of birth control in Korea

― You're jumping to conclusions my friend!!!! (ex machina), Monday, 23 May 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

so it's not just done for FUN??

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 23 May 2005 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

indeed

― Bingo Cowbells, Monday, 23 May 2005 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"titfuck the ass" is the labia hotdog's little brother

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 23 May 2005 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Speaking from experience, ordinary sexual relations with men past a certain weight is pretty, um, impossible. Does that count? You can get on top of them, but them getting on top of you can crush all the air out of your lungs, and what's the fun in that?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 23 May 2005 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

me and one ex-gf, when i hit it from behind had to do so with some care and consideration because in that position i was able to drive up in there a little too deep and it caused discomfort bordering on pain. so it kinda sucked cuz sometimes i wanted to just cut loose on that sh1t!!!

― werdna w. (andrewmorgan), Monday, 23 May 2005 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes it hurts because both partners are bony individuals with protruding hipbones.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Monday, 23 May 2005 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

INDIE SEX OH NO!!!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 23 May 2005 19:53 (twenty-one years ago)

(isn't sex mainly about getting past anatomical anomalies -- at least the first time with a certain partner?)

― donut debonair (donut), Monday, 23 May 2005 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

You shouldn't be so coy about bestality.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 23 May 2005 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought sex was more about touching and kissing and hugging and getting body parts in body orifices and the whole sticky aftermath of doing so?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 23 May 2005 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

no the first time it's usually about 5 minutes.
thanks, tip your waitress, be here all week etc

― ()ops (()()ps), Monday, 23 May 2005 19:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought sex was more about touching and kissing and hugging and getting body parts in body orifices and the whole sticky aftermath of doing so?

When things go right, sure!

― donut debonair (donut), Monday, 23 May 2005 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Then there's the "my boyfriend hasn't shaved for three days" face, though that has more to do with heavy kissing than sex. Last time I was with a girl, after having sex I noticed her face was kinda reddish, and I was like, "Do you have a rash or something?". "No, it's your beard, idiot!".

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 23 May 2005 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"titfuck the ass" is the labia hotdog's little brother

The correct terminology is "titfuck the butt-cheeks."

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 23 May 2005 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

painful sex is teh sad face.
m.

― msp (mspa), Monday, 23 May 2005 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...) (webmail), May 23rd, 2005 5:02 PM. (Tuomas) (later) (link)

And the "my girlfriend hasn't shaved for three days" face!

― Cool Hand Luuke (ex machina), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"titfuck the ass" is the labia hotdog's little brother

The correct terminology is "titfuck the butt-cheeks."

-- Je4nne ƒury (jeanneƒur...), May 23rd, 2005.

whatever you wanna call it, it certainly got me through some, er, hard times back in the day.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Judging by the number of "oh man I hate it when my dick is JUST TOO BIG" answers to sex threads, ILX men are hung like horses.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Judging by the number of "oh man I hate it when my dick is JUST TOO BIG" answers to sex threads, ILX men are hung like horses.

I've had this happen to me some number of times and it seems to depend more on the depth of the recepticle.

― Cool Hand Luuke (ex machina), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Last time I was with a girl, after having sex I noticed her face was kinda reddish, and I was like, "Do you have a rash or something?" and that was she told me about her herpies.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Herpies"? Is that herpes baked into a nice buttery crust?

― donut debonair (donut), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:34 (twenty-one years ago)

better than harpies

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, I guess she gave you a taste of her pies.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

how big is too big?

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Monday, 23 May 2005 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.fotosearch.com/comp/EYW/EYW795/FEX_031.jpg

― Cool Hand Luuke (ex machina), Monday, 23 May 2005 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Mmmmmm.

Pie.

― Ally C (Ally C), Monday, 23 May 2005 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), May 23rd, 2005. (later

technical term - "mashburn"

― ronny longjohns (ronny longjohns), Monday, 23 May 2005 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

― j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 23 May 2005 23:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, we don't have a word for it in Finnish. Maybe I should try to coin one...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 06:37 (twenty-one years ago)

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