Wives - C or D?

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I wouldnt know as I have never been married but I would like one at some point.

― blahbariantheoriginal, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Why?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

cos then you have someone 'on your team', a partnership, someone in your corner to face the world with, etc etc.

plus, guaranteed sex.

i had a lot more earnest, slightly more meaningful reasons to add, but theyve all just vanished from my brain.

― blahbariantheoriginal, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Your view of marriage is somewhat romantic, blah ;)

Still, Classic.

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Polygamy - C/D

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

plus, guaranteed sex.

You do know "conjugal rights" don't constitute a valid reason for marital rape any more?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

If you want guaranteed sex you should go to an FAP. If you're on your own, you're bound to form sturdy relations with a fair single maiden before the night be through!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pick up the pieces that make up your life
Then maybe some day you'll have a wife
and then alimony - oh, can't you see"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, yes, i know regular sex/partnership can be found in relationships that dont require rings and pre-nups and costly trips to dress designers etc etc, i am just thinking of wife-dom, bizarrely because my ex harboured some thoughts of getting married but i didnt. still, i aspirationally and perhaps over-optimistically say wives = 'C'!

― blahbariantheoriginal, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:43 (twenty-one years ago)

"plus, guaranteed sex."

hahahahah But not especially with YOU. ;)

― nathalie's baby (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:48 (twenty-one years ago)

This really gets my goat: reducing the lifestyle choice of having a long-term partner (married or not) to a desirable accessory who'll of course naturally be 'on your team' at all times and in all situations, without considering who that person might be, is rubbish. I'm probably overly touchy about this, but wtf?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Trophy Wives C/D?

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:51 (twenty-one years ago)

In some societies I believe the apposite term is "slavery."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Better thread titles: Spouses - C/D or Marriage - C/D

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I was just kidding, but wtf... "plus, guaranteed sex." a woman is not some blow-up doll you can bang whenever you like (or vice versa a man is not a dildo...)

― nathalie's baby (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

In my position, dear, even being a dildo would be a nice diversion... :-(

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

who said anything about not considering who that person might be? who would want someone who didnt actually WANT to be with them, or on 'their team', so to speak? im not saying i would want some mindless drone, some automated wife-bot who does all her 'duties' (flinches) without needing a reason or without question, just someone who you can feel is there for you and naturally, vice versa. its not about looking for a wife like its a job-spec.

― blahbariantheoriginal, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

My darling wife = classic. Dunno abt anyone else's though. Not enough data to judge, heh.

Yeah "Spouses c/d" would be a better thread title.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

"I was just kidding, but wtf... "plus, guaranteed sex." a woman is not some blow-up doll you can bang whenever you like"

since when? i treat all women like blow up dolls. i even pin-prick them to make sure they know their role as submissive, sperm receptacles, created for no other purpose but to serve me and my penis.

― blahbariantheoriginal, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

The trouble is I don't think you're being ironic.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

wow.

well, i was.

― blahbariantheoriginal, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I just find it strange to be considering all this without having a specific person in mind.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, let's face it, wives - they're ten a penny aren't they? One's as good as the next one.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I myself have a matched set with the days of the week tattooed on their foreheads.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

well im not out there shopping for wives or anything, or looking to settle down any time soon. one of the reasons me and my ex-gf split was because i wasnt ready to do that. but in a way, i wish i was, cos shes great, and i feel bad for hurting her in that way.

― blahbariantheoriginal, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Wives, eh? You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

But don't worry Barb! There are plenty more fish in the sea!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

If you want guaranteed sex you should go to an FAP. If you're on your own, you're bound to form sturdy relations with a fair single maiden before the night be through!

You mean this isn't an ILX myth!

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It works for some, but by no means all, attendees.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Bah.

(will you be inviting Amanda Platell to the next one?)

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

That depends on where she stands on the M.I.A. album

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd rather she didn't. I dislike clumsy wives who step on my CDs.

― moley, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:41 (twenty-one years ago)

She would have to remove her stilettos first - much to Marcello's chagrin

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Marcello should change his name to Marcello Chagrin - bit close to Marc Chagall mind you

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Would flat-heeled kinky boots be OK for stepping on CDs without causing too much damage, though?

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Keith Chagrin?

― $V£N! (blueski), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont know about having a wife but being a wife rocks the hizzay, biatch.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I don’t have a wife, but I say dud. My reason being, why on earth do you need to get married? I could live with someone until the end of my days but I don’t need a piece of paper or a bland gold ring (I know you can have silver or any other metal, but gold seems to be a favourite) to do this. Also I don’t get it that people have these big lavish church services, when they never go to church or even believe in god. What’s wrong with having family and friends around for a party then saying “ we’re gonna stay together”, then with the money saved go travelling?

Ooh, I sound like a grumpy old man.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

My reason being, why on earth do you need to get married?

Because it's a sign of commitment, showing the world how you feel about a person. Willing to *risk* it all.

― nathalie's baby (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

why don't you marry your ex, blah?

― DSSS, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Dud. Marriage is an archaic notion to me.

― Ian Riese-Moraine is on toffuti break! (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

How radical, man.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Marriage isn't an archaic notion to the UK Immigration & Nationality Directorate which is a major reason why I'm married rather than 'merely' cohabiting with the love of my life and the mother of my daughter.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

"plus, guaranteed sex."

HA! just wait.

marriage is this trap married society guilts and cattle prods everybody into to be as miserable as they are. just like parenthood.

horrible cynicism aside, i'm glad to be a husband and father.

but it's like chris rock said, "if you haven't wanted to kill em, you haven't been in love."

marriage and parenthood never solved anybody's problems. neither is a cakewalk. both require a tremendous amount of sacrifice and/or compromise. although, both have probably been the most important things i've ever done and probably will ever do. and even though i spend plenty of time fantasizing about what it'd be like to be single and gypsy free again, just two days on my own seem like the most dreary and empty days possible.

i guess i'm instiutionalized.

chronically classic... like a co-ed prison with a bbq grill and thomas the tank engine video marathons that kills you slowly with minivan fumes.
m.

― msp (mspa), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

and even though i spend plenty of time fantasizing about what it'd be like to be single and gypsy free again, just two days on my own seem like the most dreary and empty days possible.

Damn! Totally OTM!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:46 (twenty-one years ago)

It definitely depends on the personality, I'd think. All I'll say for me is that two days on my own is nowhere near as upsetting as it would be for others.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

MSP OTM, yes. I used to think it didn't get any better than living alone, no ties or responsibilities, and I still pine a little for those days (but it's more for my long-lost financial security) but a couple of days on my ownio now and I go daft.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

definitely agreed ned. it can vary with time too. sometimes i'm certainly in the mood for those days away. the older my kids get, the more independent they get, the more easily removed i can be. when they're younger and i'm in that go mode, then the two days feel more empty. being startled by free time feels purposeless when indeed it's probably not.
m.

― msp (mspa), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Upbringing and perception can have a lot to do with it, I figure. For instance, I'm used to a family model where my dad was away for months at a time -- this was because he was in the Navy and therefore out on long assignments, especially given that he was in the sub fleet. My mom, of course, was never really alone with myself and my sister around, but since we did have school and all, good chunks of her time were spent alone, if rarely a day or two at a time. But she's a private person in ways, I've definitely inherited my sense of just lying around relaxing, reading, watching something or more from her rather than always having to go somewhere or do something or need to be with someone -- at the same time my sheer impulse towards gregariousness comes from my dad, which explains why I'm always all over the place trying to get FAPs going. ;-) And my parents are and have been happily married since the late sixties. It's two different sides that aren't in conflict per se, but which I think explains...to an extent, but certainly not to the extent that I shall use it to excuse my own decisions in life...why in my down moments in either situation the grass always appears greener.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

There's also the example of others -- for instance, two very close friends of mine are married with kids, and their care and love for each other is a wonderful thing -- easy, never cloying, very appreciative and clearly strong. But having observed their family life for many years now, through the birth of their kids and afterwards, I have to say that they've made decisions in child-raising, in long term planning, in other factors -- and in how they live life in general -- that to my mind (and others, from other married-with-kids couples to single friends) strikes me as terribly chaotic, sometimes contradictory. Were I in their shoes the lack of time to myself and the ways in which they deal with things would drive me nuts. Now it's the fact that they *are* such a strong couple which enables them to see things through, but as MSP noted, I don't think it solved their problems, or rather, the combination brought some potentially latent problems to the surface. So I both envy them a bit and am also terribly glad I'm not them.

Similarly there's my coworker whose family situation from what I can tell really is little more than an emotional timebomb. It's been ticking for a long, long while and maybe it will never go off, but the undercurrents I've seen and sensed are so rarely positive. If anything he's been envying me and my single status and independence, and more than once has mentioned his relief at the couple of times his wife and young daughter -- and he'd NEVER wanted kids -- are away on extended visits so he can just relax and have those two days to himself.

Tangled webs woven, in all cases.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

My reason being, why on earth do you need to get married?

So you can easily and with minimal fuss grant the person you love rights to your estate after you die, plus share health care, life, home and auto insurance, and consolidate your earnings for tax purposes.

Why do people always forget the gigantic legal ramifications of marriage?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

+ Why do people always forget that its kind of a nice thing to do as well?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

No, if you get married you are obviously a tool of an oppresive patriarchal capitalist machine hell-bent on destroying humanity's pretty pretty soul. Didn't you get the memo?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I never thought much of marriage, but I totally dig it now!

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

my wife rocks. everybody else's... eh, not so much.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

No, if you get married you are obviously a tool of an oppresive patriarchal capitalist machine hell-bent on destroying humanity's pretty pretty soul. Didn't you get the memo?

I knew I wanted to get married to you for a reason!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"humanity's pretty pretty soul"!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

i will admit to growing tired of the dating scene. i craved stability and partnership. and likewise, my wife is totally the kind of person i'd love to spend the rest of my life with. it was kind of a no brainer. (or maybe i've gone totally insane! ha! delusional!)

thing is that what i got hasn't always been very stable or much of a partnership. especially having kids has been lot's of little chaotic messes. and she definitely changed her tune on several issues and i found myself with little choice in some of those matters. this is how it's going to be, end of discussion. granted, some of those things are small things and they didn't matter anymore, but still, you start to get the sense that compromise means everybody loses instead of everybody wins.

i know that makes having a wife seem very much like a dud and i know that for some, marriage will never be classic, yet i still personally feel totally contented with a good chance of excited at the prospect of spending the rest of my life with my wife.

damn the torpedoes and all. it's gonna be a mess, but from these ears, the best stories always are.
m.

― msp (mspa), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

if i ever start to miss college, i can simply read this thread

― ()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"humanity's pretty pretty soul"!!

One for Dan:

"I HAD SUCH A PRETTY SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUL!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"if i ever start to miss college, i can simply read this thread"

that's funny, one of my fantasies of being single again involves going back to college.

― msp (mspa), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"I WANT MY PRETTY SOUL BAAAAAAAAACK!"

― The Ghost of I Knew You'd Pick Up On That (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Bless your heart, m'friend. :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i wouldn't mind being a wife!

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

nor would i!

― ()ops (()()ps), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't tell if I'd be any good at wifery -- both being one and having one. But I have no problem hitting on other peoples' wives. Not sure if that's C or D...

― Je4nne ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

http://barbarella.mon-oueb.com/noire/images/anita-pallenberg-07.jpg

"come here, my pretty pretty"

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Because it's a sign of commitment, showing the world how you feel about a person. Willing to *risk* it all.

-- nathalie's baby (stevienixe...), May 24th, 2005 3:14 PM. (stevie nixed)

*risk* being the key word here...

it's not worth it.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 07:55 (twenty-one years ago)

My CDs are all neatly shelved. I don't leave them lying around. So there is no obstacle to Ms Platell walking around my gaff/on me (preferably the latter) with her stilettos on.

I don't quite know from whence this irrational passion for willowy right-wing dominatrixes springs...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 08:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm very happily married. So classic, for me.

― frankiemachine, Wednesday, 25 May 2005 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Is the fact that she's right-wing part of the attraction, or is it just the willowy dominatrix part?

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 09:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Probably the two are related...you can't really be a convincing dominatrix without being right-wing, I don't think...but it's a crush of shame and I am duly ashamed of it, and in the remote event of my ever finding someone else to love, it is probable that she will be nothing like this sordid fantasy.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 25 May 2005 09:46 (twenty-one years ago)

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