Your Wife C/D

Hi I love my wife.
She has recently started a new job and it kinda sucks tbh. It’s part time from home, money is good, but the ppl she works for (2 of the 3) are really kind of awful to her? Super critical, condescending, blaming her for their own errors, complaining about not answering emails at all hours. I admit she had struggled with the learning curve (new industry for her) but she works super hard and has never really been properly trained to do the job, since no one is in an office anymore. Anyway she’s overworked and stressed and unhappy and i want to know what can I do to help my partner when she is dealing with a load of bullshit from her job.

Context: she’s on hold for some work bullshit when we had planned to do some other household stuff tonight.

That blows. Is she c or d tho

obviously a classic tbh.

how has this thred not had a "my wife"

Sorry about the sucky job. My wife was in a job a few years ago that she really came to hate. The people were nice enough but she felt like the work was corroding her soul. She hung for about 18 months to see if she would click with it, and also because she didn't want to look too flaky but immediately quitting, and then spent about six months networking and looking seriously for a new gig. It panned out! She ended up landing kind of a dream job, which she wouldn't really have been qualified for without the experience she got in the one she hated. And she ended up leaving the job she hated on good terms with everyone and without them even knowing she was miserable, so no bridges burned or anything. Which is to say — it can work out. I hope it does.

Also my wife is awesome, 10/10, would matrimony again.

premise of thread that ilxors should talk about their wives, who presumably aren't present, is v bad. otoh my wife is awesome, 10/10, would matrimony again.

I believe this thread was started by my girlfriend at the time. She did not become my wife

:(

i assumed this was an ILM thread about some awful indie band tbh

Yup, thought it was about this (actually p good) song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0GkOn7st68

work satisfaction is 48% how much you love yoru human co workers

premise of thread that ilxors should talk about their wives, who presumably aren't present, is v bad. otoh my wife is awesome, 10/10, would matrimony again.

― more difficult than I look (Aimless), Tuesday, 15 November 2022 02:34 (yesterday) link

Soooo you're saying it's not okay for me to ask for advice about how to help my wife. Fuck off.

ian, the dubious "premise" referred to by Aimless is whether one's wife is "Classic or Dud", and that was created 17 years ago.

I know he the website works, and it seems pretty clear the initial premise was a joke, and my revive was a serious request for help. Whatever.

having been in this situation with a not-wife, a husband in fact, imo she has to be the one to realize that she's being taken advantage of and that it's affecting your relationship. you have control over some of the "this is affecting our relationship" part of the conversation and you can probably have a productive conversation about say missing a date night or canceling other plans or whatever and what you would like to happen instead. ultimately though she has to be the one setting boundaries with this new job (or better yet, quitting and finding a new one). if she's not willing or ready to to hear that and set some boundaries with these people then it's probably best to find other topics of conversation depending on your ability to be a constant empathetic sounding board for a situation that isn't changing and getting worse. just some unorganized ideas.

that sounded harsh and of course it's best to be as gentle as possible about this kind of thing. fyi mine finally realized that the small business he was busting his ass for really was taking advantage of him - he switched to hourly instead of salary (which was how they were overworking him) and now suddenly they've turned on him. pretty clear sign and he's looking for a less toxic job atm.

lots of varied boundary talk here boundaries

Oh it’s totally not a boundary thing for me, at least I don’t think so. I don’t really care that she was dealing with work bullshit instead of eating, my problem is the amount of distress this has been causing her. I am still pretty much fine. She’s about ready to quit, tbh.

I mean I guess the boundary issue yis between her and her job, I think I misread you a little sorry.

oh ok that's good then. sounds like an awful situation, hope she is able to move on soon.