Right, ILE, we're going on a mission to save the world in an action movie type way

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so who's with me? What skills have you got to offer? Who should come? Who wants to stay behind? Who's good at disarming Mexican bandits? Who knows how to tie complicated knots?

We leave at midnight.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I be the nerdy guy who makes a wry comment at the end?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I can supply my own vest but I think I need a training montage before I'm ready for this.

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, yes.

Can I be the guy who stays in his room pretending that his own hand is trying to strangle him only to pop by in a jet at the end and bomb the shit out the baddies?

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think ILE would be very good at saving the world somehow :-(

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

i will use a laptop to disable security systems, etc. WARNING: may lose skills at crucial moment.

― N_RQ, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course we would be good at saving the world!

Does anyone have any weapons we could use?

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

>I don't think ILE would be very good at saving the world somehow<

We could be the Hitchhiker's Guide prequel then!

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I am the guy who talks a lot of shit about how tough he is and what a pussy the hero is but then chickens out at a crucial moment and has to be rescued by the hero (or even worse, the romantic interest of the hero).

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I wanna be the guy with all the gadgets.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I have my trusty pen-knife CJ! Can I be the one who nonchalantly stabs villains in-between opening bottles of vintage wine?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Markelby =

http://www.deneroff.com/Images/News04/inspector_gadget_01.jpg

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I be the guy who calls everybody "Papa!" regardless of gender?

No, I'm kidding. I want to be the fellow who has to protect all the babe-liens in the galaxy.

― Ian Riese-Moraine's Plateau Rouge! (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Weapons count :

Liz's trusty penknife

I also have a Swiss Army knife, a large painted stone (currently used as a doorstop) and some Limburger cheese.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Could I be the stupid belgian blonde chick who wanders on the set not realizing there's a film being made? I could do that.

― nathalie's baby (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, you can. Do you have any other skills as well, though?

I'm thinking we might need people who have had martial arts training.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Music: Theme from 'Nationwide'

*jogs through fields... shoots at target, misses... does sit-ups... punches a side of beef, hurts hand... more jogging... more sit-ups... press-ups... shoots at target, hits edge... more jogging... lifts weights... pwns that side of beef... admires bicep... shoots at target, hits bullseye*

Ok, I'm ready. Do we get cool cars?

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I took ten months of Tae Kwon Do. xpost

― Ian Riese-Moraine's Plateau Rouge! (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I be the one who spends all the time fixing machinery and saying things like: "I'm not a miracle worker" and "She wasn't built for this kind of speed/g-force/radiation/magnetic field" [delete as applicable] and "What have you done to my beautiful [insert name of machinery]?"

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, you can. Do you have any other skills as well, though?

Uh no, being pregnant is that a skill? hah!

― nathalie's baby (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to be the one who carries the pet rat in their pocket the whole time and cries when it is in peril. And then I do obscure translations from dead languages.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a really important job, cos at one point your rat will run off and you'll run off after it and become separated from the rest of us, thus finding the terrifying baddies' lair.

― beanz (beanz), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

can i be the one who summarises the situation neatly so that that bit appears in the trailer?

― ja (_ja_), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I baffle the enemy with non-sequiturs?

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I have dormant ninja skills. I could be brooding if pushed.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to be the arrogant guy that the girl is in love with first, who can make a good life for her. Of course, she'll leave me in the end for the true hero, but that's cool, I'll just get another babe in the next movie.

Also, I want to be in the trailer as the one who turns to ja and we both say, "Aaaaaawwww Sh-" KERBLAM!

― diedre mousedropping and a quarter (Dave225), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I turn out to be an android!

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I be the washed-up cynical alcoholic who is only finally enticed into action right at the end, when someone has to stay behind to operate the machinery and get blown up with the bad guys?

― emil.y (emil.y), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Save yourselves! My life is worthless!

― emil.y (emil.y), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

AAAAAIEEEEEEEE!

― emil.y (emil.y), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

based on the two times I've eluded police cruisers intent on pulling me over for a traffic violation, I will be "The Driver"

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Quick, somebody rescue emily!

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm very good with bad jokes... Can I be the humorous sidekick who has a wisecrack response to every situation, no matter how serious it is, yet never gets his ass kicked by either the bad or the good guys?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Inspector Gadget? Me? Pourqoi?

Who's good at disarming Mexican bandits?

"Hola, sexy bandito, eso es un bigote muy atractivo! Y que grande pistola tiene usted..."

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Quick, somebody rescue emily!

No, no, it's fine, I've probably got cirrhosis of the liver or something, my wife and children died at the hands of these guys many years ago heralding my spiralling decline into lethargy and depression, now my time has come - the only moment of glory in an otherwise miserable existence, yada yada yada BOOOM.

― emil.y (emil.y), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

My best talent to apply to this world-saving thingie would be cutting in at the crucial moment, as furious ILXors threaten to break apart into ineffective warring factions, while a few simply get bored and wander off to correct their makeup, at which point I would say, "People! People! Let's get focussed here!" It works a treat, I must say.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, it looks like the crash course Emily took on disarming a bomb wasn't quite the success...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

She was always dead boring, but now I kinda miss her.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I be the one who kills the enemies by screaming random early Associates lyrics at them?

― Ian Riese-Moraine's Plateau Rouge! (Eastern Mantra), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd like to be the fat guy, always eating, always obnoxious, but with some kind of ability (probably not marathon running, windsurfing or seducing beautiful foreign agents, though I'll have a go if you'd like) on which the entire operation hinges. Think the guy in Jurassic Park only fighting for the forces of good.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

You're the one who's gonna save us? Fat chance.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I *would* be Tom Cruise, but I'm not gay.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

People! People! Let's get focussed!

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

That's the spirit, Aimless. We need good strong leadership if our mission is to be successful.

I think we need someone who'd be good at distraction techniques, too. That always comes in handy.

Any recommendations?

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned's hair.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I could be the one who stands there looking scared whilst the baddie explains his evil plan to me in a slow and tedious way, thereby giving someone with proper skillz time to sneak up behind him and kill him.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

That didn't work as well as I'd hoped.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I need twelve of you to set up a perimeter. Two of you should have a contraband gameboy that distracts you from the mission and allows the bad guys to get through. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

― diedre mousedropping and a quarter (Dave225), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll be the suave French speaking seducer who gets nowhere, but nowhere, with the local Uzbek ladies. Hopefully my sword cane will come in handy when we have to survive by roasting Central European fauna on the steppe.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll be the token lez.

― Je4nne ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish you better luck with the Uzbek hotties, Je4nne.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Who's going to play the Flashheart character?

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

First of all, I will be introduced into the already shifting array of characters very late in the production, where I will face off against the central protagonist in a way which implies we have some sort of unresolved conflict between us, and just when you think it's all about to really go down, we laugh and hug, and I turn out to be his old citrus running buddy from back on Rygil 7.

That said, I will commit my powers of super-awareness, super-sight, and super-hearing as a bad-ass scout/spy type, sometimes sneaky like ninja, other times, blending into the local population in an undercover stylee, mimicking local dialects, yet somehow managing to slip in my trademark "dude" without drawing too much attention to myself.

In the sequel though, I shag your wife.

― nickalicious von munchausen, Tuesday, 24 May 2005 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Leading to the bit of comic relief in episode 3 where somebody turns to an obviously exhausted looking nickalicious and says, "Shag my wife...please," and nickalicious faints.

― M. White (Miguelito), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I be a the helicopter pilot who gets to drop the hero off just behind enemy lines? I get to say "Good luck sir" or something as they jump out of my chopper.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I be the lurker who posts/has a line about once every two months, but is always standing the the background somehere, until about half way through the film when I get to join the main team and am so obviously going to the one that dies because I wasn't even in the poster?

― lupine lupin (lupinelupin), Tuesday, 24 May 2005 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

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