TS: Han Solo v. Indiana Jones

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OK I was going to post this to the Star Wars thread but after about 7 off-topic posts in a row I figured I'd just start a new thread. Seriously though, let's figure this out once and for all. Who is better? No rogues who are gonna be all like "But I really liked Harrison Ford best in Witness," because I mean yes, the whole scene where he punches a tourist, I know, but let's be reasonable people here. You have two choices and only two. If you even think about saying Jack Ryan I will personally come and kill you. Also girlfriends are irrelevent; everyone knows Karen Allen is hotter than Princess Leia but Princess Leia is totally hotter than the Nazi or Steven Spielberg's wife.

Quien es mas macho...Han Solo...o Indiana Jones...

http://www.comicgenius.com/DiscoFever/downloads/han_solo.jpg vs. http://www.paulvisco.org/tempreal/users/chosen_few/images/Real%20Indiana%20Jones.jpg

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm gonna go with han. isn't there like another indy movie in the worx? i like indiana but we named the dog that, etc.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Han Solo is a thinner character. Harrison Ford has said since 1983 that he'd never play him again.

however, hopefully the next Indy flick won't have Skeleta Flockhart as the female lead...

― kingfish maximum overdrunk (Kingfish), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

indy is sweatier plus stubble = mas macho

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Han totally dresses like an amazing person, he pwns everyone with the fact that he is so fashion. Indy fans are not taking this into account, how amazing the outfit is.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

the next indy flick if it happens is gonna have him vs. aliens in roswell = BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. SHOOT FIRST INDY!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

That hair is so hot.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

anyhow ONE IS A PIRATE THE OTHER IS A TEACHER WHO DO YOU THINK IS MAS MACHO???

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

allyzay you are wrong--han dresses like a spaz. indy has cool hat plus leather jacket.

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost - on his head or on his chest?

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Han Solo is the Humphrey Bogart of the galaxy.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

tho notice the drooping neckline on both pics. hmm...

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

If I saw a dude dressed like Han Solo, I'd have sex with him on the spot.

Well, theoretically. I mean nowadays if you see a dude dressed like Han Solo it means he's a total dorkpants and is going to keep bothering me to dress up like Princess Leia, which I haven't done since I was 4.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i manage the unkempt hair and the stubble but i never look nearly as cool.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

omg how cool would it be if in the next indy jones he goes to roswell and at the end he opens up the capsule or the ark of the martian or whatever and omg the alien IS HAN SOLO! they can do it with cgi - make it happen!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:18 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah i think you have BE han solo to dress like han solo--perhaps this is an argument in his favor

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

ally did you see the esquire with ewan mcgregor and his beltbuckle is shaped like han solo's pistol?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:19 (twenty-one years ago)

han had pretty lame friends excepting chewbacca

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

peter buck kinda rocked the han solo look for a lil while

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:20 (twenty-one years ago)

o cmon who were indy's cool friends - short round and denholm elliot. YEAH SO COOL.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

you know what? "I know." i think i change my vote. han wins.

(x-post: those guys were cool!)

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

man if old doddering english men were cool ilx would be fonzie's palace.

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

well they are sure as hell cooler than luke and leia!

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Allyzay OTM--I'd get into those pirate pants ASAP

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

han's belt is helping him alot

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

One of my TAs kind of showed up once in reverse Han Solo pants, like the pants were tan with black stripes down the side, and lemme tell you, shit was hot.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd have to say Han based on the sheer explosion of female delight in the theater at his first appearance onscreen when the special edition of Star Wars ran back in 1997 -- it was like everyone was just waiting for him to appear, sliding casually into his seat and saying "Han Solo..."

Indy, meanwhile, has a different gravitas. He is mooned over and people write things on their eyelids about him instead.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

gross ned!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I can only report as an observer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Both were a bit less badass in the third of the series. Han spent a better part of it frozen or blind, Indy kept getting pwned by his dad. I don't really remember what either did in the second other than Han letting himself be stuck in the freezer, which is pretty noble. Han was more badass in the first than Indy was in his first. I'll go with Han.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

also, historical revisionism aside, HAN SHOT FIRST

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

dude han solo kicks ass in "empire" anthony! tontons! (or however they're spelled) shooting the imperial probe droid! saving luke from the big bad ice monster or something!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

whereas indy in the second one helps a bunch of, uh, indians.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yeah! Forgot about the Tontons. More reason to vote for Han.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

As an observer when the original Star Wars came out, and I was oh 13 or 14 I think, I can report there was plenty of female slathering. And exploding. Thinking back, if I could have been in the pants of Peter Criss (Kiss' drummer) or Han Solo, Han won, hands down. I actually had this argument with a friend at the time. We debated for hours the pros and cons, and Han Solo came out on top of every rock star then contemporary.
That's some serious chick-magnet power.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

he slices open da belly of the tonton so luke can live! what a guy!

the second indy movie has some of the best one-liners, tho it's a complete stinker dud of a movie.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

"prepare to meet kali...in HELL!"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd like to think if they had made a movie where Han had a dad he would have been played by Walter Matthau, but I doubt it.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"we walk from here"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

FWIW, Tauntaun is how you spell it.

http://www.starwars.com/databank/creature/tauntaun/

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

oh c'mon don't let your nerdery spoil the fun ned!

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I haven't seen Temple Of Doom in years. All I remember is the gross shit that made them invent the PG-13 rating.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Much as I love Indiana Jones, I'm going with Han Solo. Dude is the bright spot in a dark and dorky universe, more than anyone else he seemed to understand the material was crap and played to it.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

temple of doom was on the tv the other day and of course i was COMPELLED to watch it despite seeing it a billion times and knowing it's crap.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:38 (twenty-one years ago)

also raiders has good one liners and what not. third indy movie, not so much.

"asps, very dangerous"
"snakes, why'd it have to be SNAKES?"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

nerdery

No, nedery. ;-)

I haven't seen Temple Of Doom in years

Be prepared for bullshit if you do. My most recent take on it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Han shot first vs. Indy shooting the dude with the fancy knife tricks.

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah but in temple of doom he doesn't have his gun!

river phoenix as young indy = dud

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"indy, the ark is loaded into the truck"
"truck, WHAT truck?!?!"

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"Don't everybody thank me at once..."

― Allyzay is not appropriate for freedom (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 40 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

HELLO PEOPLE WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ROGUES IN MY THREAD QUESTION.

"Luke? Luke's crazy! He can't even take care of himself, much less rescue anybody. A JEDI KNIGHT? I'm out of it for a little while and everyone gets delusions of grandeur."

xpost miccio, seriously, I'm mail bombing you for the suggestion of a Jar Jar Binks family.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"...you're a wonderful human being."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

YOU SAY DADDY NOT GONNA MAKE IT BACK FOR LIFE DAY? BUM BUM SAD!

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"Sorry for the mess."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"Travelling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops!"

You forgot that the word "BOY" points the end of that line like a knife aimed at Luke's crotch.

Also, and this really ends the discussion,

"I know."

― Jimmy Mod, Sultan of Sexxitime (ModJ), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:10 (twenty-one years ago)

THat line is so hot, even being thrown into carbonite the dude still got the 'tude.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry for the mess is classic.
Also, "do you hear that baby, hold together"

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"I don't know, fly casual"

― lyra (lyra), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

No one has pointed out how the best thing Kevin Spacey ever d id was that bizarro skit on SNL where he played Christopher Walken, playing Han Solo.

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Though this is the worst thing I've ever seen

http://dorkafork.com/myimages/starwars/hancheney.jpg

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

That doesn't make a lick of sense...

― Jimmy Mod Knows (ModJ), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Spacey's Walter Matthau as Obi Wan was pretty great too.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

haha darrell hammond did richard dreyfuss as c3po too right?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"Fast enough...for you...OLD MAN."

― Allyzay flies casual (allyzay), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

busta rhymes didn't namecheck indiana jones in "woo hah! got you all in check." so it's han solo.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

we actually talked about that star wars Xmas special at work today!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Ben is a Great Man

Yeah, great at getting us into trouble...

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"High-powered lawyers," eh Eisbar? ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"BETTER HER THAN ME."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Your worshipfulness.

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

If I had a menstrual cycle, I think I would vascillate between Han and Indy during different segments of it.

Right now, I'm digging Han.

― andrew l. r. (allocryptic), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"High-powered lawyers," eh Eisbar? ;-)

we billed it to the client, too (under "office conference")!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 26 May 2005 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

also raiders has good one liners and what not. third indy movie, not so much.

Elsa: [Kisses Indy] Zat's how Austrians say goodbye.
Colonel Vogel: Und zis is how ve zay goodbye in Germany, Dr. Jones.
[Punches Indy]
Indiana Jones: I liked the Austrian way better.
Professor Henry Jones: So did I.

Professor Henry Jones: They're trying to kill us.
Indiana Jones: I know, Dad.
Professor Henry Jones: This is a new experience for me.
Indiana Jones: It happens to me all the time.

(throws german off Zeppelin) (looks around at crowd) No ticket.

I'm just saying like. It's still Han.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 26 May 2005 04:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Bookish Han all the way. Like YOUR dad wouldn't show you up.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 26 May 2005 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Han Solo gets mad points for expressing as much emotion with the line "Don't sweat it, Princess" as Hayden Vader will attempt to express (but fail) in his entire movie career. Indy gets mad points for the scene where he shoots the dude with the sword rather than fight him.

I won the Indiana Jones DVD box set, but NOT the Star Wars DVD box set. I feel that is the asnwer.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 26 May 2005 06:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"I know."

coldest line EVER.

― stevie (stevie), Thursday, 26 May 2005 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Ford has a particularly great 'Indie' moment in ROTJ when he accidentally steps on the twig in the forest that gives away his sneaking behind the stormtrooper.

also
"..boring conversation anyway"
and
"would it help if I got out and pushed?"
"IT MIGHT!"
also
"WATCH THIS!"
"watch what?"
and
"Maybe you'd like to get back into your *cell* princess"
and
"I love you"
"I know"

I like how Leia returns that last one back at Han in the bunker scene on ROTJ.

haha xpost

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 26 May 2005 07:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"YES...your highnessness."

It's "your worshipfulness", actually.

Man, I don't know. Han never took his shirt off. Temple of Doom doesn't have much to recommend it, but it does at least have that. Sigh.

Still though, it's Han.
"I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit".

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 26 May 2005 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, wait, someone already said that. Sorry Jimmy Mod.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 26 May 2005 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Han wins.

Only because I'm bitter that no history professor would ever look like Harrison Ford.

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"YES...your highnessness."
It's "your worshipfulness", actually.

Please to refer to scene in Empire near the start where Leia and Han confront each other in the hallway.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned,

Please reconstruct said scene in full because I do not remember it. Also because it would amuse me to have you do so. Because I'm bored.

Many thanks,

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahh.. did it end with...

Leia: "Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-lookin' nerf herder!"
Han: "Who's scruffy-lookin?"

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Hurrah for amusement!

It's the scene right after he says to the one Rebel general at the Hoth base that he has to leave because of the price on his head and then he and Leia talk briefly and he goes, "So long, princess!" and leaves abruptly. Next thing you see is her charging out the door of the control room calling for Han and he stops, turns and says said line, v. diffidently.

I have no problem with 4 through 6 essentially being imprinted in my brain. This is what a childhood obsession is *for*. :-)

Roz -- no, that's the scene later where Luke is recovering in his sickbed and Leia later smooches him.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 26 May 2005 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Riiiighht. Damn, I wanna see Empire again. It's my favourite but it's the one I've seen the least number of times because the video (ooh vei, VHS!) got ruined by my older brother.

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned, I thank you for your commitment to my amusement.

I still do not remember that bit. Hmm. This requires further study. I must dig out my videos (yes, videos) of the pristine original Han-fires-first versions and watch them.

I better watch them all, just in case he says it again. Yes. I think that would prevent any further confusion on my part.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I couldn't even read this whole thread b/c I have to say: that picture of Han is so fucking hot it hurts me. The hair, the belt, the almost-inperceptible smirk! (This is, of course, tied in with longtime crush-from-childhood on Han, much stronger than Indy crush. Han is just, mm, cool.)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess most of the people on the thread know this, but the best thing about "I know" was that in the script it was "Just remember that, Leia, because I'll be back", but Harrison Ford wasn't sure he wanted to do a third film, so him and Irvin Kershner went over some possibilities, and eventually they just winged the scene, and Harrison adlibbed the line.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

SOLO

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Han. Although hearing Indy say "Ahhh Venice", smirk, and pull a girl to the floor pretty much ruined my expectations for sex forever.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 26 May 2005 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's official; the best thing about Star Wars was Han Solo. This is why the new ones all suck.

― Adam Bruneau (oliver8bit), Thursday, 26 May 2005 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Random Guy: You'll freeze to death before you reach the first marker!

Han Solo: Then I'll see you in Hell!

in HELL!

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 26 May 2005 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Luke: We've got to rescue the Princess!

Han: Jesus Christ, Luke! I mean, goddammit, you know?

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 26 May 2005 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Han Solo: Then I'll see you in Hell!

The oddest thing about that line was that I always thought it was from the Indie films. He doesn't say it there as well does he? coz that would be mental.

HYDRO-spanners!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 26 May 2005 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

thirteen years pass...

do we not have a thread for the solo movie

― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Friday, 19 April 2019 23:01 (seven years ago)

Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 April 2019 23:37 (seven years ago)

― fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Friday, 19 April 2019 23:41 (seven years ago)

Raiders > Every Star Wars movie ever made combined.

― Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Friday, 19 April 2019 23:50 (seven years ago)

a cheese sandwich > every meal i've ever had combined

― what if bod was one of us (ledge), Saturday, 20 April 2019 07:29 (seven years ago)

three years pass...

What happens when Princess Leia is not in the mood?

Hand Solo!

― | (Latham Green), Tuesday, 25 October 2022 20:03 (three years ago)

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