TS: Cellulite vs. Male Pattern Baldness

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Let's call it even and enjoy ourselves, what do you say?

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Friday, 27 May 2005 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Cellulite is a near-invisible affliction invented by evil Cosmetic companies. Whereas being a slaphead isn't.

― TV's Mr Noodle Vague (noodle vague), Friday, 27 May 2005 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I like -- cellulite.
I like -- cellulite.
I like -- cellulite.
I like -- cellulite.

*to tune of "I Like Traffic Lights"*

― Ian Riese-Moraine's Plateau Rouge! (Eastern Mantra), Friday, 27 May 2005 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

baldness doesn't really bother me unless the guy goes to idiotic lengths to hide it, e.g. combovers, toupees. cellulite is kinda gross but it happens to everyone and isn't really a big deal. i still pick baldness.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Friday, 27 May 2005 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

yep i'd pick baldness too. baldies can just cut it really short and it looks ace. cellulite can't be cut short.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 27 May 2005 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

This is a very good question.

Here is an answer: Cellulite would be worse than baldness if it affected the head. Baldness would still be better than cellulite if it affected legs and arse.

Baldness wins.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Friday, 27 May 2005 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

ew cellulite-y head, that's nauseating. i feel better about my bumpy thighs now.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 27 May 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

You can make cellulite look less bad by getting a tan. Bald people get sunburnt scalp.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 27 May 2005 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

GET ONE HAT

― AdrianB (AdrianB), Friday, 27 May 2005 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i am naturally brown as anything, and i'm still bumpy. THERE ARE NO HATS FOR THIGHS.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 27 May 2005 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

GET ONE SARONG

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 27 May 2005 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

haha i never get to show anyone my thighs anymore anyway but i can't really see myself wearing a sarong in the scratcher if i ever do get a chance to share nekkidness again

― gem (trisk), Friday, 27 May 2005 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a personal rule. I can be fat OR bald, but I cannot be fat AND bald.
Ergo, a shaved head wins.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 27 May 2005 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The right kind of cellulite can be vaguely sexy, though I don't imagine that'd make anyone feel better about having it. But as a major balder, I'll have to pick that; you shave your head, your life gets simpler and easier, and all is good. It only becomes problematic for people with unfortunate head and scalp qualities, or people attached enough to the hair-having thing that they do weird shit with what's left.

It's funny, the full-head-of-hair male-beauty concept is one that's, I dunno, super-foreign to me. Probably that way for anyone who doesn't have straight hair, I guess, but I feel like there’s also a generational thing involved—I can’t imagine today’s teenagers growing up to have the same baldness-shame as, say, men whose adult style was 70s-shaped.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 27 May 2005 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

cellulite is not near-invisible. i wish to god that it were, but no.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 27 May 2005 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Nabisco, you're very handsome. I am a pale, carb-faced chap who doesn't rock it with quite the same style. And I'm stuck with it.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 27 May 2005 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

madchen is right about the tan thing, and for that reason i'm getting sprayed before glastonbury.

sigh.

my teenage self would so hate the late 20s self.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 27 May 2005 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I can’t imagine today’s teenagers growing up to have the same baldness-shame as, say, men whose adult style was 70s-shaped.

OTM - there's a greater range of acceptable male hairstyles these days, and there's no stigma in being hairless. It's funny - I've noticed the guys you see desperately clinging to what little hair they have left tend to be aesthetically stuck in the decade of their youth. I know because I was becoming one of those guys. When I started shaving my head I also updated my wardrobe and moved out of the early 90s. It was such a subliminal transition that I didn't notice until someone pointed out that I was looking "cooler" these days.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 27 May 2005 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, you look just fine with a shaved head! I mean, I'm biased, and all, but you strike me as the kind of person for whom it works really well.

The transition was really easy for me, since I've never had much hair anyway; it's not like I can walk around pining for the sexy, luxurious flat-top I used to have. There was a period around 10th grade where I had a relaxed loose-perm thing that was like a skater jheri-curl, but that was a generally bad idea. I don't know what you had going on before, Mark, so maybe you just miss having hair-options -- but it looks really good now!

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 27 May 2005 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

cellulite is pretty good, there's something kind of fascinating about the ripples. look at these sexy girls who got paid to be sexy,
http://www.ellipsis.cx/~kortbein/gw/1325.11.pjpeg
they have cellulite (you cant see it in these photos but it was definitely there!), all sorts of very conventionally attractive people have it and get their dimply photographs put in magazines as if it actually diminished their sex appeal. you would think it would be as middlebrow to be into it as the way ppl love organic fruit instead of the 'jet ski' supermarket bananas.(it probly is but i just noticed a lot of hate still going on)

― minna (minna), Friday, 27 May 2005 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

as for baldness ive never really had to try as hard to embrace it!

― minna (minna), Friday, 27 May 2005 20:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/135/899/640/vin%20diesel.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 27 May 2005 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Cellulite isn't that bad either.

I personally don't look forward to going bald, but I expect that I will sigh and embrace it when it happens (and shave it). I may even rock the inverted head look (shaved head + beard).

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 27 May 2005 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm with you, Minna! Though it's kind of a "real-sexy" thing, as opposed to a "perfect-sexy." Cf the way seeing a glossy photo of a woman with smooth tanned thighs seems not particularly sexy -- you see it all the time -- but a meatier, ripplier (and/or paler) thigh will seem all hot and naked and tangible. It's a bit limited, and I can't imagine anyone actively embracing it, but it does have some potential to be sexy.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 27 May 2005 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Mmmmm, meatier thighs.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 27 May 2005 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

youre right abt the glossy pix nabisco. sometimes sexy seems to involve an element of 'ew gross!... oh wait'

― minna (minna), Friday, 27 May 2005 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Gap tooth women to thread

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Friday, 27 May 2005 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I can do gap teeth too. I guess I just need to work on the cellulite...

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 27 May 2005 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

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