A real-life supermom used a bottle of breast milk to douse an amputee yesterday after his wheelchair was set ablaze by punks on a Staten Island bus, cops said.

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http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/310650p-265769c.html

― Cool Hand Luuke (ex machina), Saturday, 28 May 2005 08:15 (twenty-one years ago)

lucky amputee

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Saturday, 28 May 2005 08:32 (twenty-one years ago)

That's quite a story.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 28 May 2005 09:10 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, it really is

― Dan Beale, Saturday, 28 May 2005 10:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Asked about the fire being extinguished with breast milk, Abrams bristled, "I don't care. It doesn't bother me."

― Jordan (Jordan), Saturday, 28 May 2005 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

It would have been ever better if the milk had come directly from her breasts instead of the bottle.

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Saturday, 28 May 2005 13:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, there's nothing "super" about carrying a bottle of milk. If "Superman" carried a laser instead of shooting it out of his eyes, it wouldn't really be that impressive. If she was putting out blazes mith milk straight from the breast, then it'd be a news story.

― Craig Gilchrist (Craig Gilchrist), Saturday, 28 May 2005 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"Super" = doing something to help instead of pretending not to notice like the rest of the passengers.

― Paul in Santa Cruz (Paul in Santa Cruz), Saturday, 28 May 2005 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I love mens weirdness about breast milk.

― Nellie (nellskies), Saturday, 28 May 2005 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

No weirdness here shorty, put that shit on autodrip cuz this coffee aint getting any hotter ya smell meh?

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Saturday, 28 May 2005 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Abrams, who lost his left leg in Vietnam, said he was minding his own business as he rode the city bus to the Staten Island Mall to buy a video of "The Exorcist."
[...]

The flames quickly engulfed the bag, containing the Greek classics "Odyssey" and "Iliad."

i don't know what this means, but it means... something.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Saturday, 28 May 2005 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been waiting for this thread to answer exactly that question.

― Ken L (Ken L), Saturday, 28 May 2005 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I love mens weirdness about breast milk.

yet everyone is very eager to down a nice cold milk of COW BREAST MILK?

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 29 May 2005 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

err NICE COLD GLASS.

― cutty (mcutt), Sunday, 29 May 2005 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I was packing bottles of breast milk earlier today, but nothing I saw needed dousing.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Sunday, 29 May 2005 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

What a refreshing an nutritious act of heroisim!

― Jimmy Mod Is Great At Getting Us Into Trouble (ModJ), Sunday, 29 May 2005 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

http://qando.net/archives/182273.1020.A.jpg

I'm reminded of the giant lactating boob scene.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Sunday, 29 May 2005 03:25 (twenty-one years ago)

This is a good example of risk of exposure to HIV and other blood pathogens. The supermom is clearly committing an act of felony by exposing the gentleman to dangerous biological substances and could be put away for years.

― a, Sunday, 29 May 2005 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i wonder if he still got his copy of the exorcist that he was en route to purchase

― gem (trisk), Sunday, 29 May 2005 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

punks

― Super Cub (Debito), Sunday, 29 May 2005 05:46 (twenty-one years ago)

The flames quickly engulfed the bag, containing the Greek classics "Odyssey" and "Iliad."

i don't know what this means, but it means... something.
A few possibilities:
This detail is provided so that we know the poor fellow who escaped immolation was indeed worthy of our attention and not just some stinky streetperson. cf. the front page victims of inner city invariably described as "honor students." [Irony alert. Do not reply to this statement taken at face value]

This detail is a tipoff that the story is of the classic "a god goes in disguise among men in order to test the human race" variety- this time humanity passed, thanks to the nursing supermom.

Library material narrowly escaped destruction, broadening the appeal of the story beyond mere human interest to attract an audience of librarians, readers, book lovers and scholars of all stripes.

― Ken L (Ken L), Sunday, 29 May 2005 09:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i like theory #2

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 29 May 2005 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

There's something really kinky about the details here; I imagine that the journo who wrote this had to do it one handed.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 29 May 2005 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

And NOT cause he was an amputee, if you catch my meaning! HAR HAR.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 29 May 2005 22:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I get it. I think your meaning is that he was masturbating at the time.

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 29 May 2005 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Uh, no. My insinuation was that he was typing with one hand and drinking from a bottle of breast milk with the other.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 29 May 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, WTF, you consider this to be some sort of "jack-off" material?
Your mother and I are very disappointed.
VERY disappointed.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 29 May 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Sadly, I think Ken L's theory #1 might be the truth.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 30 May 2005 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i like this thread

― Vichitravirya XI, Monday, 30 May 2005 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

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