The ILXguide to getting married on the cheap

Anyway, the actual wedding was held outside in a park, then the cake was served at a really cute church hall nearby. I think it came off really nicely. It was a very small wedding (just immediate family and close friends) so it was very relaxed and fun. My favorite part was watching all the little kids dance around afterwards.

Judy and I got married on the super-cheap, and it was very nice. A lot of things came together perfectly. Judy's mother and aunt made her dress; her boss did the photography as a wedding present; other coworkers did catering and flowers as presents. My father built a nice frame-and-lattice altar area in our front yard framed by a couple of big pines and decorated it the morning of the wedding with magnolia greenery and blooms. (Judy likes to say it looked like the third jump at the Grand National.) I put together the music on a C90 tape, starting with a Brandenburg Concerto excerpt as intro music and ending with Chuck Berry's "Almost Grown." Basically, the only expenses were my suit and renting some chairs. And last Wednesday was 20 years from the day.

I'm so happy for you guys! Congratulations!

We eloped, so everyone felt equally excluded, and we made some vague noises about having some sort of reception at a later date, but we never did. After we got back from our honeymoon, we sent out 'announcements' (form letter and picture) and made it clear that we were not fishing for presents or money.

oh, and congratulations!

The main thing is, it's your day, don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want or can't afford.

Registry office in the morning, him in a smart suit, me in also a smart suit, two sets of parents and perhaps siblings also if they can all make it.

Lunch out in a nice restaurant, which hopefully his parents will pay for.

Pub session later in the evening for such friends as choose to come along. It will be in October some time.

OR

Registry office followed by house party in either his parents' house or my parents' house. My mother does a great line in house parties for about fifty people, she threw my 21st birthday party there and we're having her 60th birthday party in July at her house.

When I say cheap, I mean REALLY cheap. Partly because we don't have the money, and partly because I've done this once before and I can't be bothered doing it again.

It's kind of annoying that you have to wait three months to get married. I want to be married to this guy, like, NOW.

Teeny, did you really elope? How romantic. Is there a thread all about it I can read?

(for their honeymoon, they went camping in Snowdonia)

If you spend money on one thing, make it a nice hotel room for you and the mister to crash out in at the end of the day. It'll feel more special if you don't have to leave to go home to your own house when everyone else has left. Check around for deals, most places will upgrade a room/give you free champers or whatever if you tell them you are getting married when you book the room.

teenybride!

That's a bummer you have to wait three months, as you will read we couldn't even manage three days.

I had lost my birth certificate and so needed to travel to Terre Haute, Indiana to get it anyway, so we looked up the law there. They only needed one day's notice BUT they also required the bride to have proof of german measles vaccination, WTF. No way I was going to figure that out in time.

So we look up Illinois, and they only required one day's wait, and conveniently we had an old and dear friend who became a minister and now has a congregation in a small town outside of Joliet. So we road tripped to Terre Haute (where my parents similarly eloped, aw), picked up the birth certificate, went to Joliet and paid like $15 for a marriage certificate, and then spent the night at our friend's house. And the next afternoon he married us in his backyard and we drove back home, and went to Jamaica the next morning! I still haven't gotten any pictures back from our friend Will, either!

Really? My divorce didn't cost me anything. Annoyingly though, because my ex didn't bother giving the court my correct address, I never got my decree absolute in the post, which I need in order to book my wedding.

Hilariously, my ex is currently on his honeymoon and I can't talk to him about this till he gets back. Grrr.

Even more hilariously, my brother and his girlfriend also got engaged this weekend. It's wedding fever round our way at the moment.

Teeny, that sounds brilliant. Man, I wish we had different laws in different bits of the country.

It's possible that although his friends are a bunch of jackals who can sense free food half a mile away in the pouring rain, they'd be happiest with whatever made you and him happy (particularly if there if was some significant overlap between your frinds and his).

I'm just sayin'.

You could invite everyone around for a housewarming and then say "incidentally, we are now married", but it's probably too late for that.

Citizen, you have been married. Step towards your bride.

Lambeth Register Office, us both in our thrifted vintage get-ups, two witnesses, three guests, polaroids in the garden and next to the Bentley that another wedding party had hired. It was Thanksgiving weekend, so all back to our Brixton flat for turkey and non-turkey and drink and devilled eggs. About 40 people trooped through our apartment that night and most brought their own (in a couple of cases they'd already drank it but never mind).

It was fantastic.

mike wins!

The crime is marriage - the sentence is life.

We're having a small, cheap wedding (about a month from now in fact yikes!) but it's surprising how things sort of add up. Getting friends to help out with everything possible (making the cake, doing the flowers, taking the photos) seems to be a good way to cut costs and has the added advantage of making everyone feel involved (haha well that's what I'm telling myself as I ruthlessly demand more and more from all my friends and relations...)

Reception in a pub is obviously going to be the cheapest option, while sit-down meals always seem to push the cost up loads and are never that nice anyway. We're having a meal with just family (fish and chips) then some nibbles at the reception (big but very informal party with mix CDs and cash bar) later.

I wouldn't want the reception at home (or my parents' home) just because our stress levels would go through the roof, but it depends how much you enjoy hosting I guess.