Top 100 clearly all-too-platonic e-mail sign offs

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the initial is definite more intimate, but not necessarily that kind of intimate

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 27 June 2001 02:48 (twenty-four years ago)

50. Hardened regards.

Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 27 June 2001 03:17 (twenty-four years ago)

four years pass...

1. Take Care
2. Keep Smiling

Niceguys, Monday, 18 July 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

3. Please don't touch me

mark s (mark s), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

4. keep on truckin

ken c (ken c), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

5. yours sincerely

ken c (ken c), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

6. Kind Regards

ken c (ken c), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

7. Best Wishes

ken c (ken c), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

8. toodles,

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

8. Thanks
9. OK, bye

geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

8. This email has been scanned by the MessageLabs Email Security System.

N_RQ, Monday, 18 July 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

9. Hermetically,

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

10. Have A Peaceful Day,

sleep (sleep), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

13. l8r

ken c (ken c), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

14. Piss off.

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

15. No need to reply.

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

15. Smell ya never

Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:21 (twenty years ago)

16. Cheers

theophilus jones (theophilus), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

17. Yours (in your dreams)

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

11. c-ya

Aaron A., Monday, 18 July 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

20. Have a great life.

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

21. KTHXBYE

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:23 (twenty years ago)

22 THANKS SO MUCH

(copied from an email I just received, I hate people who WRITE IN ALL CAPS)

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

23 Don't trust whitey

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

24 God loves a workin' man

The Milkmaid (of Human Kindness) (The Milkmaid), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

24. Looking through my email archives it turns out that even "love", "love ya" and even "love you" are all fiercely and insistently platonic.

Aaron A., Monday, 18 July 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

26. Well, back to work!

geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

25. Do not trouble me with issues of this nature again

Dr. C (Dr. C), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

(have sex) lataz

mark s (mark s), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

28. BTW who the hell are you?

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:28 (twenty years ago)

74. Yours in cheerful unweirdness

Aaron A., Monday, 18 July 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

30. Yr motha

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

31. Fear me.

nathalie's body's designed for two (stevie nixed), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

31. How did you get this e-mail address?

Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

32. p.s. - have you called [dolt she's trying to hook you up with] yet?? :P

Aaron A., Monday, 18 July 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

33. =^.^=

g-kit (g-kit), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:47 (twenty years ago)

34. missing you already

Ward Fowler (Ward Fowler), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:49 (twenty years ago)

35. In a word, I may say that he who does not estimate the base and evil, the good and noble, according to the standard of the legislator, and abstain in every possible way from the one and practise the other to the utmost of his power, does not know that in all these respects he is most foully and disgracefully abusing his soul, which is the divinest part of man; for no one, as I may say, ever considers that which is declared to be the greatest penalty of evil-doing--namely, to grow into the likeness of bad men, and growing like them to fly from the conversation of the good, and be cut off from them, and cleave to and follow after the company of the bad. And he who is joined to them must do and suffer what such men by nature do and say to one another-a suffering which is not justice but retribution; for justice and the just are noble, whereas retribution is the suffering which waits upon injustice; and whether a man escape or endure this, he is miserable-in the former case, because he is not cured; while in the latter, he perishes in order that the rest of mankind may be saved.

Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:51 (twenty years ago)

Yours cock-blockingly.

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

37. ooh and my bf says hi

ken c (ken c), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:02 (twenty years ago)

38 Thank you for all the help you gave me during a very difficult time.

k/l (Ken L), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

39. Up your bum.

Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

40. All best,

Douglas (Douglas), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

41. Non-text portions of this message have been removed,

Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

how do i know you?

was you that guy who i told to fuck off once?

battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

37. ooh and my bf says hi

FNAAAARGHH!!

N_Rq, Monday, 18 July 2005 14:20 (twenty years ago)

42. XXOO

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

43. Fondly

k/l (Ken L), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

44. best
45. regards

fizzle, Monday, 18 July 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

friends forever

:-)

battlingspacemonkey (battlingspacemonkey), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:59 (twenty years ago)

55. My vadge is locked for you.

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:02 (twenty years ago)

56. Must dash as I am off to the Clap Clinic.

57. Worst. E-mail. Evah.

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:06 (twenty years ago)

58. Toodles

(They might fancy you, but wouldn't this put you off someone?)

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 09:56 (twenty years ago)

59. Take Care Of Yourself (i.e. I'm sure as hell not gonna).

Marcello Carlin, Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:05 (twenty years ago)

60. I Keel You With Guns

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:06 (twenty years ago)

61. PS I am not wanking while I write this.

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:09 (twenty years ago)

62. You sicken me.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

http://www.anbg.gov.au/images/flags/signal/d-icon.gif
D - keep clear of me, I am manoevering with difficulty

Rum, Sodomy and the LAN (kate), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:21 (twenty years ago)

64. Your details have been forwarded to my solicitor

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:34 (twenty years ago)

65. Yours dryly

estela (estela), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:38 (twenty years ago)

66. You put the sand in my vagina.

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:41 (twenty years ago)

67. Did I mention I am impotent?

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

68. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits

Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

69. Hoping you catch my crabs

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:44 (twenty years ago)

(actually, that's not very platonic at all, is it. Bah.)

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

70. Mother says I'm not to talk to you again.

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:48 (twenty years ago)

71. My therapist keeps telling me you are imaginary

72. I know how to hurt you

73. I wish I could be your sister

Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

74. I know where you live.

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

75. I'LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND!!! I'LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE FUCKING MIND!!!!

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:01 (twenty years ago)

76. Do you see what I did there?

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

77. This e-mail has been locked by a moderator.

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:06 (twenty years ago)

78. What's up with ILX?
79. So who's going to win the Mercury Music Prize this year, then?
80. Lt Hornblower BLOWS MY HORN
81. Sir Edward Heath RIP
82. Help me choose a computer course!
83. Help my computer recognize my external hard drive!
84. Is Cambridgeshire in East Anglia?
85. Are broken hearts for assholes?
86. "As punishment you will do 10 sit-ups"
87. I hate Lance Armstrong
88. Help me find religion!
89. I love Curtis
90. does anyone still use hotmail?

Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

91. Don't you fuckin' look at me.

ILx Booth, Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:08 (twenty years ago)

I just got a "cya hon" :(

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:08 (twenty years ago)

92. Noodle Vague was the drummer in Gay Dad.

Scream! Scrovula, Scream! (noodle vague), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

There's something especially chilly about "take care."

Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

talk soon vs talk to you soon vs talk later vs talk to you later. Talk to you soon seems like it could be less platonic, "later" seems more dismissive than "soon", but all are pretty tame/unsexy.

Also:
Okay,
Name

rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 13:54 (twenty years ago)

I like 'take care'! Mostly because I use it all the time. Mostly on AIM, mind.

Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

You should stop, Andrew. It's what a serial killer would say.

You take care now.

Good care.

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 14:51 (twenty years ago)

98. gouranga!

Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 19 July 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...
come on we're only 2 off the target!

niceguy, Friday, 26 August 2005 10:27 (twenty years ago)

i received one yesterday that signed off

99) 'laterz'

barbarianuser, Friday, 26 August 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

100 "Sorry, I tend to use this address for business only"

JTS, Friday, 26 August 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

101. okay dokay

i think. or it could be non-platonic and cute. there's some charm to it. but mostly i think it's achingly platonic. i gave up on interpreting email sign-offs long ago, i'm out of practice.

carly (carly), Friday, 26 August 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

I use take care lots. Sometimes with teh hott gurlz. Oops, I didn't realise it was cold and distant. :(

Crackity (Crackity Jones), Friday, 26 August 2005 22:26 (twenty years ago)

15. No need to reply.

This is good for when people keep on replying to your reply, which you had intended to end the matter.

I'm fond of a number of people who sign off with just their first initial, no full stop, so I like it. It's like saying everything is up front, but being very flat.

youn, Friday, 26 August 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

shit i received one that said, "keep smiling kiddo"

gear (gear), Friday, 26 August 2005 23:05 (twenty years ago)

102. Good luck

WTF?! Good luck? With what? Platonic bastard! Shove your messages of good fortune!

Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 26 August 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

Your wife till 2016,
Hillary

M. V. (M.V.), Saturday, 27 August 2005 03:21 (twenty years ago)

Yours in grime blogging,

pr00de descending a staircase (pr00de), Sunday, 28 August 2005 07:40 (twenty years ago)

"Take care" is platonic but still warm, I think. There's a note of concern without alarm, intimacy without the desire to exchange body fluids.

David A. (Davant), Monday, 29 August 2005 05:17 (twenty years ago)

"ttyl!"

Ekh.

Roz (Roz), Monday, 29 August 2005 11:40 (twenty years ago)

Um, what's not an overtly platonic-only signoff (short of "love", which seems too committed for me even though it's what she used)? Every single normal signoff seems to be listed here.

Sundar (sundar), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 23:31 (twenty years ago)

"much thanks"

Leon C. (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 23:36 (twenty years ago)

(Wait, that sounds wrong. I didn't actually hook up with someone without intending any commitment. I just don't want to rule out the possibility of something happening.)

Sundar (sundar), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 23:45 (twenty years ago)

"Best,
X

PS FUCK YOU DIE SLOW MOTHERFUCKER MY FO FO MAKE SURE ALL YOUR KIDS DON"T GROW

:)"

LeCoq (LeCoq), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 00:05 (twenty years ago)

What a coincidence! That's exactly the one I used.

Sundar (sundar), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 02:30 (twenty years ago)

Ow take care ow.

Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

k.i.t.

Jena (JenaP), Wednesday, 7 September 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

Many thanks
Speak soon
TTFN

mayarooni, Wednesday, 14 September 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)


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