I had an encounter with a one handed lady the other day

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So i was in Topshop and buying some clothes for going away and waiting while the lady rung all the stuff up and she dropped some socks in front of me. So I playfully, jokingly said "Hah, are you throwing stuff at me".

This was met with a stoney face.

So I think "Ok, must get that kind of lame joke all day". But then I realise...

Oh no, the horror, WHAT HAVE I DONE!

This lady has one hand!! AND IS VISIBLY STRUGGLING.

I was very embarassed.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

I nearly offered to give her a hand.

FIGURATIVELY.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

I probably had a hand in making her day a bad one.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:01 (twenty years ago)

This thread is visibly struggling...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

C'mon guys.

Throw me a frickin bone here.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:12 (twenty years ago)

This thread's not as well thumbed as it could be...

― Bill A (Bill A), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:28 (twenty years ago)

you had to hand it to her

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

During this checkout encounter i went through the following internal monologue:

Hari standing at checkout sees girl

Hari

That girl is cute.

Hari

Oh she dropped the socks, time for a joke. Oh yes.

Hari

Oh no, she has one hand. Maybe she isn't hot

Hari

Oh so now she has one hand she's not hot?

Hari

She is still cute.

Then it kind of degenerated into thinking about handjobs.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:38 (twenty years ago)

Ooh, that's a bit near the knuckle.....

― JTS, Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:39 (twenty years ago)

can we start making the puns really ridiculous and tenuous now?

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:41 (twenty years ago)

On the other hand we could just stop with the puns

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

I was suprised to find she wasn't wearing a watch.

Maybe she lost it.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

This isn't very funny.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

At least neither you or her said 'need a hand?'

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

the best pun thread ever was about a couple who got married in a mcdonalds, I love that thread so much.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:44 (twenty years ago)

FAT HANDS AT GMAIL DOT COM.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:45 (twenty years ago)

That is unrelated.

I have a one handed friend. She was in Paris and somehow accidentally evaded her metro fare and was chased by gendarmes who attempted to hand cuff her, but upon realising this wasn't possible, let her go.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

That is unrelated.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Weird.

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:53 (twenty years ago)

What is the French for hand?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

main

― Raston Warrior Robot (alix), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

I guess the fact she had only one hand was the MAIN reason they let her go.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:00 (twenty years ago)

yay for this thread. i should start saying like, more stuff. but i like just cropping up and yaying threads.

i feel bad though. for the hand lady. not as bad as i feel about that 'no ticket' joke.
ok, i'm going now.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

I'll let you in on a secret.

Hand lady doesn't actually exist. I just wanted to make puns.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:07 (twenty years ago)

beautiful "Main" gag there, Hari

unrelated pun: a friend was walking past Ca$h Convertor$ near our workplace and spotted a pigeon that had somehow got trapped in the bottom of the window display. His comment was:

"He only went in to enquire about the higher perches"

― Bill A (Bill A), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

for real she doesn't exist?
damn you for playing with my emotions.

that's the second time i've looked like a gullible dufus on ILX this week.

― g-kit (g-kit), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

http://www.luntzer.ch/images/dvd/fugitive.JPG

Do you think Hari Ford is on his way to join an emo band?

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

Well, he's running!

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:28 (twenty years ago)

And wearing a hoodie!

― Tumililingan (ex machina), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

I can't decide whether these are 'armless jokes or not.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 12:34 (twenty years ago)

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