Defend the Indefensible: Jared of Subway

I would hate to be him. Imagine eating THAT much subway, and still have to be around it all the time! And probably eat it too! ICK!

Come on, he's a human being. He's trying to help people be healthier any way that they can. If that means eating the same thing every day because they have no idea what foods won't make them weigh 500 pounds, he's helping people. And helping uncreative people who haven't been properly taught how to feed themselves isn't indefensible, right?

That said, I wish he would disappear pronto.

SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT
SIX INCH CHICKEN TERIYAKI
SIX INCH VEGGIE DELIGHT

Oh, defend him? I guess the fact that I'm still free to roam the streets because I haven't flattened his face with a shovel yet is a good thing.

Now, is it my imagination or is he hiding a bit of a belly in the latest round of ads? Those tuna subs have over a thousand calories you know.

Yeah, and Jared needs a stiff kick in the groin.

http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01172003

Well, you could have mustard. Also, many condiments/sauces (ketchup, BBQ, salsa) are fat-free (but not calorie free).

the BK is awesome

Second of all, if I hear anyone compare this fuckhead Jared with TOM BODET, MOTHERFUCKER EXTREME again, it'll be too soon.

In the Sodexo cafeteria in my building, there is a standee of a smiling woman with the nearly-illegible signature 'Ellie' scrawled on it. She'd be a good fit for the job, I think.

I've talked to my people, Whiney is a lock for the new spokesperson

can't go wrong with an ellie

she just likes healthy sandwiches

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-470153.html

ran across this following something from a Gawker leak - I understand coping mechanisms but it's amazing how many people are convinced their husband/kid/brother is doing 5-10 because "some guy" sent him kiddie porn and it's a goddamn witch hunt/etc..

FB feed now full of the pic of him with GWB, like this implicates GWB as a pedalo or something.

Well, you do remember when a first lady killed a bunch of dudes and buried them under the White House.

http://i.imgur.com/sCLPS5E.jpg

Funny enough, GWB's wife only first lady to have actually killed a dude.

that we know about, at least - roslynn carter looks like a motherfucker with some dark secrets to me

What's great about that photo in the ad is that you know that was the best shot they got out of that session. The rest of the pictures made children cry.

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Wednesday, July 27, 2005 5:45 PM (10 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Leophoenix post of the thread

ten years ago, if someone had told me that in ten years I would read the news headline 'Jared Fogle beaten in prison brawl,' I would've lol'd in disbelief

today, I lol in belief

Think he's gotten any prison ink yet?

crowing over the mistreatment of a prisoner, no matter what he or she has done, is a bad look, fellas.

most fucked up part of the story i read about was an allusion to the apparently evil stepmother of the guy who beat him up:

Nigg, who is serving time for a gun conviction tied to a decades-old Arizona crime spree, walked away from fracas unscathed, save for a cut-up hand, but was punished with solitary confinement, the site reported.

Nigg is slated for a 2024 release from federal custody while Fogle will have to wait out an additional five years to wrap up his sentence for charges related to possessing child pornography and having sex with underage prostitutes.

Nigg initially served time from 1976 to 1990 when he and an accomplice robbed a Maricopa County motel clerk, two convenience stores and a gas station. He moved to Wausau, Wis., where his father had lived, married a woman and began working at a consignment shop.

When his father died, Nigg’s string of good luck ran out, according to his appeal in the Seventh Circuit court.

“In a somewhat cruel twist of fate, the estate included over 120 firearms,” according to court documents.

Through his shop, he sold two guns to a private investigator hired by his stepmother. The sale led to his arrest and an eventual guilty plea.

Well it sure will be wild when Jared gets released and his great-uncle dies, bequeathing to him a huge pile of C.P.

And that stepmother? Mrs. Ethel Fogle, the birth mother of former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle. And that's the rest of the story. Good day!

lol

I kinda miss Paul Harvey

crowing over the mistreatment of a prisoner, no matter what he or she has done, is a bad look, fellas.

Word.

interpol predicted this years ago

― polyphonic, Wednesday, August 19, 2015

just saw this.

I am still confused by how long the investigation went on before the FBI actually arrested him. I feel like the conversations that woman recorded would have been enough to justify a search warrant.

I guess they were "building a case" so they could seriously nail him with manor charges. Still seems odd to leav someone like that at large for so long when we're locking up drug offenders.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/Screen%20Shot%202016-03-16%20at%2011.17.40%20PM_zpsmx6xdmkm.png

lol i read that and went "what did fred durst do?"

how soon we forget

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEGI9NbH-mk

http://www.starwipe.com/article/culture-prison-violence-delights-civilized-justice-2297

just this week i have had long conversations w both a prison guard and a parolee (for a sexual offense), and pretty much everything you've heard about prison violence is true, or worse

Is that Tool video accurate, that's what I want to know.

haven't a clue

what i did hear is that in the first few weeks of imprisonment, in the diagnostic unit where long-term housing determinations are made, prisoners didn't typically know that their fellow inmates had been convicted of. unless, that is, they were sex offenders, in which case the guards would pin up newspaper clippings to the bulletin board

just wanna clear my good name here and say that I'm not advocating prison violence, no sir, not my style. I'm just saying that regardless of circumstance, everything the personality Jared Fogle ever does, whether that includes being beaten in a prison brawl or just sitting there peacefully in a comfy chair with his hands folded and his big ol Jared Fogle face all over his face, it will be funny

i can think of a few things he's done that aren't, and never can be, funny

Prison violence is a disgrace no matter who the target is.

prison violence is actually extremely lit

I had been avoiding this story and am boggling that Jared got beat up by someone named Nigg (who I really, really hope is not black)

he is not (afaik)

Is he Vietnamese?

Violence is bad no matter who gets beaten, the race of the assailant, the name of the assailant, whether the violence occurred inside or outside of a prison, or whether or not the victim likes sandwiches or child pornography or child prostitution, that's my opinion on the issue

cosigned

i don't feel bad for him exactly but man jared fogle has got to be #1 on the "least suited for a prison fight" list

I am against the death penalty and do not advocate this in any way but does anyone really think he's going to survive in prison for 5 years cuz I don't

i'm not sure but i think he's more likely to die of a heart attack than a shiv

also he's in there til 2029 at the minimum, he'd be released when he's in his early fifties.

he's going to starve without sweet onion teriyaki sauce

Treeship kool-aid mans into thread with "guys, have some empathy for the child-fucking sandwich man"

i'm opposed to the horrific conditions in america's prisons, what can i say

btw i'm glad i caught you. the other day when i came home my roommate tried to put glasses on his pitbull to take a photo of it. the dog was already wearing one of other friend's plaid shirts. this hipster puppies trend has really lasted

http://thisdayintechhistory.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/mortal_kombat_finish_him.png

second part was not a burn. anyone who knows me knows i love dogs and pictures of dogs.

Yeahhh, I guess I'm just the kind of person who thinks that good things are good and bad things are bad. I suppose I'm a lot like Jesus Christ in that way? What can I say...

i don't understand the controversy here

i won't begrudge anyone a bit of schadenfreude about terrible things happening to terrible people, it just shouldn't be institutionalized

yeah, that's fair

right, prison abuse is awful for many of the same reasons that capital punishment is awful. the state shouldn't be in the business of institutionalizing retribution.