I Don't Like My Mother. Should I feel Guilty?

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I don't think I hate her but I certainly do not like her. She is wrong on so many things but has this self-righteous attitude about herself. She is an overall embarassment. I can't wait to be free in four years. Am I wrong for not trying to like my mother anymore?

― Frida, Sunday, 14 August 2005 12:34 (twenty years ago)

i don't like mine either. wanna trade?

― sittin here la la waitin for my ya ya (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 14 August 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

Does your mom run around the house naked becaused she think she's hot? She isn't ugly but her body isn't tight and I wouldn't want to see it even if it was. And, she's going out all the time drinking and wearing clothes that kids wear. Maybe it would be okay if she didn't look silly wearing the stuff she wears but she really looks dumb. I hate going places with her.

― Frida, Sunday, 14 August 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

i don't like my sister at all. i think it's ok to not like family members

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Sunday, 14 August 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

yeah, you can only be "grateful" for so many things.

― sittin here la la waitin for my ya ya (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 14 August 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

I think it's A-OK to not like family members, too. I also think that disliking a family member, especially a parent, is not without it's emotional trauma and so therapy might be something to look into. This is not because there's something wrong with you for not liking a parent, but because having a parent who is worth disliking can be a difficult thing to deal with.

― pullapartgirl (pullapartgirl), Sunday, 14 August 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

No. Wait till she's dead, then piss on her grave, then feel guilty.

― The Cunt, Sunday, 14 August 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Sunday, 14 August 2005 14:27 (twenty years ago)

Dear Frida,

My name is James Harrington, and I do booking and production work for the Montel Williams Show, one of the industry's leading daytime talk-format programs. If you'd really like to confront your mother about her behavior, and how it makes you feel, Montel's forum is just the right spot. Unlike many other programs, Montel's show is not about sensationalism and on-air fights -- it's about families working together to understand each other, work past their problems, and become successful in the world. If you're a resident of the U.S., please get in touch -- we'd love to talk more about you, your mother, your problems, and how Montel can help.

Best,
J Harrington

― James Harrington, Sunday, 14 August 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Dear Frida,

yrmomstitties.jpg plz?

― Behold I will do a New Thing Chapel JESUS IS LORD (Matt Chesnut), Sunday, 14 August 2005 15:55 (twenty years ago)

Yes you should feel guilty.

What, that isn't the answer you wanted. Oh. Tough.

― David Merryweather Goes To Far (scarlet), Sunday, 14 August 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

Frida, you go right ahead and dislike the things about your Mother that you dislike. No need to feel Guilty. Just realize that you, too, are Far From Perfect and in Great Need of People who can Tolerate Your Faults and Find a Way to Like You In Spite of Them.

― Aimless (Aimless), Sunday, 14 August 2005 17:46 (twenty years ago)

whoa, aimless. what's with all the caps?

― sittin here la la waitin for my ya ya (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 14 August 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

Frida, that's okay. Roger Waters didn't like his mother, either, and look how far it took him...

― kingfish completely hatstand (Kingfish), Sunday, 14 August 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

I never said I did not have faults. This doesn't mean I am having an easier time of not liking my mom.
BTW... My mom have very small tits but has a big bush that has gray in it. It is disgusting. I don't need to be seeing stuff like that.
She won't let me play video games but she can walk around with her flabby stomach hanging out, her big bush out in the open and getting drunk with her stupid boyfriend while I gotta stay home all the time? I never even had one friend over the house and I can't remember the alst time I went over to a friend's house.

Frida, that's okay. Roger Waters didn't like his mother, either, and look how far it took him
Isn't he the guy who got thrown out of his own house?

― Frida, Sunday, 14 August 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

Frida, what age are you?

― jed_ (jed), Sunday, 14 August 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

i generally like my mom ok, but occasionally i wonder if she is not a machine. any time my friends meet or talk to her, they think she is cold and not very personable. she is not very warm and fuzzy, but she's been a great mother, so i think i'll let it slide.

on the other hand, my older sister thinks she is my mother, and that i do not like at all.

― tehRZA gibbons (tehresa), Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

14 waiting to be 15 soon.

― Frida, Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

well in that case i think it's perfectly normal to dislike your mother at 14 or 15 (not that 'm trying to pigeonhole you into a whole "this is how you should be at a cretain age" type thing). parents can be embarrassing for people at your age, it may even be healthy to feel that way! however it doesn't mean that your relationship with your mother won't grow and change over time and that you will be great friends with her at some point soon. maybe you won't but i think it's fairly likely you will get on in a few years.

― jed_ (jed), Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

however it doesn't mean that your relationship with your mother won't grow and change over time and that you will be great friends with her at some point soon. maybe you won't but i think it's fairly likely you will get on in a few years.
I don't think so... no one in our family likes her. The only people who can stand her are people she meets in bars and that's because they don't see her at home.
SHe is always getting into fights with my grandparents and aunts and uncles. I can't stand it when she gets mad and tells me what a great mother she is... I know there are worse but I bet they don't tell their kids how great a person they are all the time. It is annoying. I think she is trying to convince someone other than herself than she isn't a very hard person to like.
It is especially horrible to her her tell me how great a person she is when she is drunk and naked and all I want is to have dinner.

― Frida., Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

Mr Harrington,
With all due respect, I think Montel is a fool.

― Frida., Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

after years of conversationally calling black people 'coloured' and being berated by myself and my sisters, not over the syntax but over the thought behind it, my mother finally broke cover as the colonial racist she truly is last sunday after a hot day in the garden when she came in saying 'phew! i've been working like a nigger! - oops sorry, am i not supposed to say that?' almost like she was trying to get a reaction out of me - she didn't.

but yeah, i'm trying to get my head around that one. it's beyond generational... i can't change her and i hate what she is

― john clarkson, Sunday, 14 August 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

I feel the same way sometimes... especially after one of great speeched about how everyone of her friends says how great a mother she is when I know she has either left me alone in the apartment or with my granny while she is drinking with her friends at the bar. It just burns inside me so much how she is. I also know she believes all of the stuff she says. I wish she would just go away forever. My granny doesn't want to come around to get me anymore because she doesn't like the fighting and my mother is too lazy to bring me over there because it gets in the way of her bar hopping. I hate being alone.

― Frida., Sunday, 14 August 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

Frida, your mother sounds like a solid block of shit. I wish I could offer any useful advice on how to deal with her until you're able to leave home. Her repetition of "I'm a good mother" sounds like she's trying to convince herself of it and failing. Good luck and best wishes.

― Truckdrivin' Buddha (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 14 August 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, you sound like you're kind of together though, Frida, and write thoughtfully and well. So try to focus on the things you do like, people around you who are OK, and know that your situation won't last forever. A lot of us (older) people here had different kinds of shittiness growing up, and we can laugh about it now, knowing that we have control of our lives. You will too, in 3 years. Just hang on and stay positive.

― paulhw (paulhw), Sunday, 14 August 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

i thought this was an ian-riese moraine thread! ; D

― gear (gear), Sunday, 14 August 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

Frida, did you think about looking into Al-Anon or something like that? At least reading some of the stuff they have about having a parent who has a drinking problem, or go to the public library and look up some of the books about alcoholism. Drunks pretty much act the same way and you can't depend on them for anything. It's not your fault if you're not getting along with your mom because she is drunk all the time! No wonder you are pissed off.

― dar1a g (daria g), Sunday, 14 August 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

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