People who aren't single, but behave like they are when they're drunk

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So, I was at this party, and it all seemed to be going well. I was actually pushing myself to mingle and talk to different people, and it seemed to be working. I got talking to this girl, in fact. She was rather drunk, but she was giving all the right signals. *Very* flirty, very touchy-feely, lots of body contact, lots of body contact that would be verging-on-inappropriate, like inviting me to tickle her breasts and so on. She was so drunk, though, that she fell asleep where she sat.

Next day, I'd already arranged to meet people for a drink, so I invited her along. Straight away she gave me her number. She was in that neighborhood anyway, so she came along. Didn't stay very long, as she was clearly a bit hung-over, but seemed friendly and chatty. I saw her again later the same day; again, even sober, she seemed friendly and chatty, and we had a good talk.

Of course, she's *not* single. She told me this later, by text message. Moreover, her boyfriend was THERE at the party - I remember meeting him - and he was just sitting there whilst me and her were being hugely, hugely flirty. God knows what he was thinking, why he didn't say or do anything, why he didn't try to shepherd her away, why she was behaving like that in the first place.

I feel like a bit of a twat now.

― Logged Out's life takes yet another interesting turn, Monday, 15 August 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

Classic.

― Dr. Glen Y. Abreu (dr g), Monday, 15 August 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

It's not really your fault, so you shouldn't feel stupid. You weren't to know. She is probably just a mentalist, and bad news.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 15 August 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

Yes, I've been thinking: behaving like that is a good sign that either her relationship is fucked-up or she's a mentalist generally.

― Logged Out's life takes yet another interesting turn, Monday, 15 August 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

i woulda thought breast-tickling does a lil more than *verge* on "inappropriate" behaviour for a non-single person but i guess i'm happy enough to be wrong

― jermaine (jnoble), Monday, 15 August 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

how do you tickle breasts exactly without fondling all over them?

― AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 15 August 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

I actually smooched on this hot model girl at a bar a couple years back, both of us drunk, and she gave me her number and urged me to call. When I did so a couple days later, I got the "Sorry, this is a REALLY bad time..." and she sounded cross. I was sorta bummed, but I still got to make out with an attached hot model girl. When she was on the cover of a local weekly, I could point her out to buddies and harm her rep.

So, CLASSIC...

― andy --, Monday, 15 August 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

that said, anyone caught with their hands on my girl's jubblies isn't going to find me very happy

xposts

― jermaine (jnoble), Monday, 15 August 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

Maybe they have an open relationship?

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Monday, 15 August 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

My life from 2002-4 to thread. A dud. An' a creepy one at that.

― BARMS, Monday, 15 August 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

(Barima spent 2002-4 inviting people to tickle his breasts)

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:00 (twenty years ago)

(To be fair though, who didn't?)

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:01 (twenty years ago)

Ken had his tits out just the other night in fact.

― BARMS, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:03 (twenty years ago)

Well, loggedout, it's good you know now than later. Trust me.

― donut ferry (donut), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:04 (twenty years ago)

http://160.114.99.91/astrojan/images/tit.jpg

"Fancy a tickle?"

― The Ghost of ken c (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

FWIW I seem to recall most people who do this also behave exactly the same even when they're not drunk.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/birmingham/features/2003/07/party_in_the_park/gallery12/images/john_tickle_300.jpg

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:13 (twenty years ago)

I saw Alba get his tit-tickle on at a Vitalic gig January. 3 months later, Vitalic's laptop was stolen. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

― BARMS, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:18 (twenty years ago)

i dont act single even when im single!!

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

I thought I was gettin' mixed signals...

― BARMS, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

Or mixed singles.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

What about when a girl acting all lesbianish with a girl and then starts flirting heavily with you (a guy)? What then?

― 'lgdout', Monday, 15 August 2005 19:37 (twenty years ago)

Maybe she's just bi!

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:38 (twenty years ago)

im torn

xxxpost

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:40 (twenty years ago)

What if you dont buy 'bi'?

― lgdout, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:42 (twenty years ago)

Then she's probably a straight girl who likes fooling around.

(Bi people do exist, though, you know. I *am* one. In fact, I had a long conversation at the same party with a coupled pair of bi women, all about being bi.)

― Logged Out's life takes yet another interesting turn, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

i know who logged out is

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:46 (twenty years ago)

I'm posting anonymously so I guess this doesnt really matter but basically I don't buy 'bi' 90% of the time. I've met enough people who 'play the role' and then 'grow out of it' to distrust it. Which isn't fair I suppose to those who are, but yeah, I may jump to conclusions quickly as a result.

― lgdout, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

i know who logged out is

You were at that party too? OMG!

― Logged Out's life takes yet another interesting turn, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

Okay, what's the real problem? You fondled her tits, had a bit of fun and discovered she was attached. Problem solved! Move on to the next pair of boobies. Or girl. Or man. ~~Or dog.~~

― nathalie starts to cry each time we meet (stevie nixed), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:51 (twenty years ago)

I don't really self-identify as bi anymore -- partly because I'm less attracted to guys as I was between the ages of 14-21, but also because I don't feel like the identity politics angle to it -- but I think it's a mistake to not buy that bisexuals exist. They're not all 50/50. I guess I just think of it as being open to multiple sexual possibilities.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

im torn

I must confess, I still believe.

― BARMS, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:52 (twenty years ago)

In fact, I had a long conversation at the same party with a coupled pair of bi women, all about being bi

i love the implication that all bi people talk about is being bi!

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:54 (twenty years ago)

IT'S SO GREAT BEING BI, DON'T YOU LOVE IT?

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

what's worse is when someone isn't single but is drunk and behaving like they're single, and flirts not with you, but with the person you're interested in, stealing their attention for the night and ruining your chances, even though the drunk non-single person isn't going to take it any further than flirting, and just wants to boost their ego.

― already disheveled hair projection (wetmink), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

98% of college women are bi, get used to it.

― thefactsaboutnutrition, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

xpost - I guess I'm just pissed at crushing on someone who I thought I had a chance with.

It's a mistake to believe that all bisexuals are 50/50, too. I'm bi, but I'm more attracted to women than men.

i love the implication that all bi people talk about is being bi!

There was a Sex And The City episode based entirely around that idea - the one with Alanis Morrisette in.

― Logged Out's life takes yet another interesting turn, Monday, 15 August 2005 19:56 (twenty years ago)

i think i could be bi, but i'm scared to touch boobies

i prefer to be 'a little bit gay'

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

Touching boobies is great! Especially if you are a woman and you are touching them with your own boobies. And I'm watching. Oh I've said too much.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:58 (twenty years ago)

I'm intrigued as to *how* Mandee thinks she knows who logged out is.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 15 August 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

C'mon, Piney, she is logged out.

― BARMS, Monday, 15 August 2005 20:02 (twenty years ago)

It's a mistake to believe that all bisexuals are 50/50, too. I'm bi, but I'm more attracted to women than men.

Wouldn't that make you straight/gay (i'm not sure of your gender) but you have no aversion to the other sex? I suppose this is semantic and defined depending on the person's own perspective in the end. But I'm bored at work.

― lgdout, Monday, 15 August 2005 20:03 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, yes, I know I shouldn't speculate.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:04 (twenty years ago)

"HETEROFLEXIBLE," PEOPLE.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

Wouldn't that make you straight/gay (i'm not sure of your gender) but you have no aversion to the other sex?

Alfred Kinsey is shedding a tear for you.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

i don't think i know

i know i know

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Nah, straight is when you don't get turned on by *anyone* the same sex as you. I'm bi. I've had sex with pretty much equal numbers of men and women. In general, though, I think more women are cute than men.

I don't really mind people guessing who I am. If you trawl through the whole of New Questions, there is a clue in there.

― Logged Out's life takes yet another interesting turn, Monday, 15 August 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

i definitely know who logged out is, now

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

Oh come on, you want us to guess? Just tell us already, man. You know you want to.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:14 (twenty years ago)

Dude, it sounds like you had a fun time.

Good for you.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

I'm logged out. Look above - this ain't even a real e-mail address.

― BARMS, Monday, 15 August 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

All I know is, he's the guy who outed Valerie Plame to Bob Novak.

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

98% of college women are bi, get used to it.

There are FAR more than 2% lesbians amongst college women. sheesh!

― donut ferry (donut), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

The thing is, I was expecting people to realise anyway when other people who have met her came to thread.

I did have a good time, to be honest.

― Logged Out's life takes yet another interesting turn, Monday, 15 August 2005 20:21 (twenty years ago)

And I can't bloody find the thread where you admit to starting anonymous threads. Grrr.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

who starts anonymous threads?

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

I mean logged-out threads. Everyone, probably.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

Everyone will be logged out and get titties for at least fifteen minutes.

― donut ferry (donut), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

I already have enough as it is.

― nathalie starts to cry each time we meet (stevie nixed), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

This is referred to as the non-goal-oriented cock block, or NGOCB.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 15 August 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

That's convenient, NGOCB.

Only problem is, it sounds a lot like NKOTB (New Kids on the Block). I don't know which is worse.

― already disheveled hair projection (wetmink), Monday, 15 August 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

"a little bit gay"
haha! I love that. It sounds much more like something I would say than "heteroflexible" (which is funny and useful too, but just not as cute.) Of course, at this point in my biological life, with the clock having just begun to tick like a fucking timebomb, I don't think I've ever been straighter. Which only makes me want to rebel ("a little bit"). OH TWISTED LIFE.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Monday, 15 August 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

Oh well. It is the suX0r, but at least you found out now, rather than prolonging it and getting your hopes up and all.

Some people are just toxic flirts. It's better to avoid them anyway.

― Mrs. Cranky (From Crankytown) (kate), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 06:53 (twenty years ago)

Only problem is, it sounds a lot like NKOTB (New Kids on the Block). I don't know which is worse.

I was thinking hte same thing! New kitty on the titty block? Hmm.

― nathalie starts to cry each time we meet (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 07:01 (twenty years ago)

It's a shame because she seemed v nice and v cute.

(she *did*, right?)

― Logged Out still although there's not that much point, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 07:17 (twenty years ago)

She didn't give you her friends number? A-A-J?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 07:19 (twenty years ago)

I don't know what A-A-J means.

No, it was definitely her own phone number.

― Logged Out still although there's not that much point, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 07:24 (twenty years ago)

(as a joke)

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 07:25 (twenty years ago)

I just really want to tickle some girl's breasts now.

― David Merryweather Goes To Far (scarlet), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 07:43 (twenty years ago)

ah, I now realise my post was on to the wrong (but very similar) thread...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 07:55 (twenty years ago)

note to self: when at parties, stay sober. stick to diet coke.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

Also: resist temptation to invite others to tickle your breasts.

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 08:45 (twenty years ago)

Quite right, there's a basic food hygiene issue at stake there, what with salmonella in chicken and everything...

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 08:48 (twenty years ago)

Groan...

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 08:49 (twenty years ago)

Would you be so concerned about food hygiene it was Amanda Platell standing in front of you looking unsually dishevelled and slightly unsteady on her feet, her speech noticeably slurred as she invited you to tickle her breasts?

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 08:53 (twenty years ago)

You continually misinterpret my bizarre Platell fixation in terms of her being the passive recipient of my kinks rather than vice versa. It would especially do no good were she to be slightly unsteady on her feet, because those 20-inch stilettoes have to be firm but fair and deadly accurate in their deployment.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 08:56 (twenty years ago)

Amanda Platell vs Goldfrapp - 'Strict Marcello'.

― BARMS, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

Nah, straight is when you don't get turned on by *anyone* the same sex as you.

Then NO ONE is straight...?!

― lgdout, Tuesday, 16 August 2005 13:29 (twenty years ago)

why do you say that? you understand the sexual desires of the entire human population?

― paulhw (paulhw), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 21:35 (twenty years ago)

Dear Penthouse,

I have to tell you about an unusual situation that happened to me recently. I was watching my girlfriend get pissed at a party when a naive young person approached her...

― I Ain't No Addict, Whoever Heard of a Junkie as Old as Me? (noodle vague), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

PS. I am wanking as I write this.

― I Ain't No Addict, Whoever Heard of a Junkie as Old as Me? (noodle vague), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

>> Nah, straight is when you don't get turned on by *anyone* the same sex as you.

Then NO ONE is straight...?!

As hard as it is for me to imagine not being attracted to the random dude every once in a while, I feel pretty confident that there are LOADS of people who don't find their own sex attractive.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

Jay: reference the post immediately above yours for what I believe is the intended comic effect. Note: may not actually be funny.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 16 August 2005 23:44 (twenty years ago)

Posting photos of people who don't know about ILX to threads like this isn't the done thing, I know. But it's very, very tempting.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

No, don't worry, it's absolutely fine, as long as there's no possibility of them ever finding out!

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Wednesday, 17 August 2005 11:22 (twenty years ago)

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People who aren't single, but behave like they are when they're drunk - C or D?