Oh, what's the bloody point? [mod edit: point re-identified hurrah]

Then you can go out and have the fun you had planned for this weekend. Please don't get wound up and upset over what your IT department have cocked up - that part is beyond your control, but getting your end of things sorted out isn't. So make that call to your bank right now, and have a smashing weekend :)

Your other stumbling blocks are a whole 'nother thing, but ...... baby steps, baby steps ....

Is there no way you can get money? As CJ suggested, banks will give you a little overdraft and maybe you have some money saved for emergencies?

it's just a pain and has meant that my weekend has been fucked up. and out of all the weekends to fuck up, this was the one that shouldn't have been fucked up. it was sort of my "coming out" weekend. obviously however it is not to be.

perhaps i'm just not destined to find happiness again. perhaps i'm just meant to do penance for the rest of my life.

It's easy for me to say, but it's not the end of the world and you need to rise above the crap and show yourself that you'll not let things outside of your control get you down.

So that's a start.

it's like: you spend ages building your shattered confidence up again, one miniscule step at a time, and just when you think you can cope it's like the ant climbing to the top of the hill and then someone's finger knocks it back down to the bottom. so psychologically this has knocked me back down to the bottom, so to speak, so i'm going to have to do it all over again, and i really don't have the energy or patience or even much of a will to do so.

so see you all in another 12 months' time, if i'm still around, and don't bet on the latter.

So you're just going to revert back to the former you? The person that contunually alludes to suicide as if it was some kind of threat? I know this is a difficult time of year for you, but just go back & read some of the responses on this thread. People want you to attend this evening & although your financial situation is unfortunate, it's not exactly catastrophic. I've been so impressed with your "new lease of life" attitude that you've adopted of late, it would be such a shame to let that all slide now. Be grateful that you are still here & embrace those friends that you continually push away.

So let's sort this out, so that you can go and enjoy yourself tonight. Do you have a bank current account?

that's the thing about asperger's. the mind works in such a minutely meticulous and methodical way in that you make these elaborate, interlocking plans and you get severely distressed if said plans get wrecked by factors beyond your control.

but it's not. as others have said, banks suck. wallow in your anger over it for a while, come out and blag your way into poptimism, and let people buy you drinks, seriously. i'll buy you one! after a bottle of cheap wine, you'll have forgotten all about stupid banks!

So you look like shit - so what? I bet you scrub up okay. And an evening in the company of friends is good - especially as you had been looking forward to it so much - and it's better than an evening alone. Don't argue :)

I hate these bank things, and gas bill things, and Telewest things, it is surprising how much they sap your strength, but it will help to bend somebody's ear about it.

Neither will it hurt to postpone your socialising until next time, in favour of a quiet night in, if you don't feel like going out.

I wouldn't recommend cheap wine though, get a decent bottle and enjoy it.

This is simply not true and if you weren't temporarily feeling quite so shit at the moment you'd know it.

"Always something, usually me, to stop me from doing that. Being systematically destroyed by the very thing I'm protecting most. How messed up is that?"

I'm afraid that's human nature.

"it's just a pain and has meant that my weekend has been fucked up. and out of all the weekends to fuck up, this was the one that shouldn't have been fucked up. it was sort of my "coming out" weekend. obviously however it is not to be."

Shit happens, it's one of those things, it has no other or deeper meaning beyond the fact that "some fucking idiot-brained IT cuntswallow and some computer system bought for £2.99 out of fucking Dodgy Derek's of Dalston" did what that combination of those things were always and inevitably going to do eventually, so why try to invest thsi crap with some mystical significance?

"it's like: you spend ages building your shattered confidence up again, one miniscule step at a time, and just when you think you can cope it's like the ant climbing to the top of the hill and then someone's finger knocks it back down to the bottom. so psychologically this has knocked me back down to the bottom, so to speak, so i'm going to have to do it all over again, and i really don't have the energy or patience or even much of a will to do so."

Sorry, but this is a crap analogy.

OK, sure there's a metaphorical hill to climb - but real hills don't get easier and easier to climb every time you (inevitably) get knocked back down to the bottom again; and real hills do have a summit.

This isn't something you're ever going to entirely "get over" - so there's absolutely no point in beating yourself up because you haven't done so.

It is something you'll got progressively better at dealing with 'though.

Fwiw, based on the last medical reports I read, I'm expecting something very similar to what happened to you 4 years ago to happen to me at some point.

Absolutely no idea when, could be tomorrow, could be years.

I do sincerely hope you're going to be about to offer me some advice and support when it does 'though, 'cos I don't know anyone else who's been through anything similar.

At the moment I am principally worried about what's going to happen if I go to the Abbey tomorrow and (a) the money hasn't been credited and (b) they won't let me have it anyway, even though they reassured me a million times over on the 'phone (after I'd prodded them a million different ways) that it would be there, Even On A Saturday, No You Won't Have To Wait Until Monday. Can't help it; I get paranoid and rather scared about these things (inbred fear of privation etc.). I just wish it was tomorrow and this whole mess was over and done with.

It hasn't stopped raining since this morning which is kind of appropriate.

I've never really understand why none of these problems surface when I'm actually doing my job.

Done. Thanks.

Displacement activity?

+ if anything I'd imagine the Aspergers would only increase the ability / propensity to temporarily "lose yourself" in other things.

The advantage of the Asperger's is that it gives you an analytical mind in terms of abstracts (figures, budgets, staff numbers etc.) even if you're not much good at dealing with flesh-and-blood people, and because I'm v. good at doing that it's afforded me a pretty good living these past 20 years or so.

would anyone have to know, though? if you could go via your GP, wouldn't it all be confidential?

if it's not an option, how about trying a book on the subject? there are some pretty good ones if you stay away from the self-help section.

this may not be any use to you - but i found it made a pretty big difference to me when dealing with similar problems, and it is all very sensible, logical stuff, so maybe it's worth a go?

Several hours late, but I just checked the cash machine and, yep, it's all there!

Gaah...end of crisis...delete thread/me...I will go to the ball after all!!!!

PJM: I will lend you £50 on the condition that you spend all of it on chicken and chips at Chicken Cottage, in one visit.