X Factor (UK 2005) - Who are these painful showoffs? : thread 1

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.. and will Wavis o'shave be this year's Rowetta?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

I've forgotten who won the last one.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:39 (twenty years ago)

1-2-g-4 get with the wicked

― N_RQ, Friday, 19 August 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

~~Blur~~ Brookstein won the battle, ~~Oasis~~ G4 won the war.

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

There are no winners here.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

umm,

1 Steve Brookstein Against All Odds Single Jan 2005
1 Steve Brookstein Heart And Soul Album May 2005

1 G4 G4 Album Mar 2005 Notes
9 G4 Bohemian Rhapsody Single Mar 2005

Close, and a cigar, but it goes to Steve. What does, I'm not sure.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

Not according to Cowell (or actual sales figures).

― JimD (JimD), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

I love that some of most untalented people ever to walk the earth get all arsey when they get told that they are talentless. What the fuck is going on in their heads, does their mum not say “ c’mon love, I really don’t think you go on TV because you’re shite”?

Oh yeah, the G4 video for bohemian rhapsody where it all kicks off and the Vegas style chicks come on, man that’s terrible.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Friday, 19 August 2005 10:59 (twenty years ago)

And we're off.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 20 August 2005 16:56 (twenty years ago)

So far we've had a comedy Jew and a comedy Hispanic.

Brilliant.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

There's a lot more Top Shop indie types on this year. Too many.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

Oh wait, I'm the only person who cares this year.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

the self-delusion on offer on this show is FUCKING HILARIOUS. is it wrong that i take so much pleasure out of these people's misery?

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

Self-delusion, or an easy way to get your mug on the TV, and a few follow-up interviews in the local newspapers?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

these people are not that smart. they don't have a plan to exploit the show. their belief in their own "talents" is so great, that they can't imagine why other people can't see it. what worries me most is that there's still people like this out there. 3 series of pop idol and the first series of this. and there's still these crazies coming out of the woodwork. what do these people do? where are they?

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

This guy is better than Jet.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

OMG TRANSVESTITE DAIRY FARMER WTF LOL!!!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

and he got through!!!

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

This Irish lad doing "Sacrifice" isn't too shoddy.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

decent enough voice, but i didn;'t think he was anything too special.

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Saturday, 20 August 2005 17:58 (twenty years ago)

singing "fings", rather than "things", detracted quite a bit

the last girl and her fiance and mum and sister were something else

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

where 'something else' = 'batshit insane'

― The Lex (The Lex), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:07 (twenty years ago)

top quality televisual entertainment. but i'd move if that family lived within a mile radius. fucking nutters.

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

is anyone else watching "the xtra factor" on itv2?

i love the cowell. he talks all kinds of sense. these people need to be told the truth. they're all crazy. and most deserve a bullet between the eyes.

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

what about the ghost of john lennon?

― koogs (koogs), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:18 (twenty years ago)

I hate simon cowell

― RJG (RJG), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

Trevor to win!

But yeah, feeling inceasingly uncomfortable about the early stages of things like this, where people who quite clearly just aren't quite right, mentally, are stuck on telly for us to laugh at. I dunno, it just feels like it used to be loveable nutters who made up the numbers (like the john lennon guy), but now it seems more like we're being shown more people who are, say, autisitc (that lad Simon, who danced to javine) or severely traumatised (that last girl, who'd "failed at everything"), or...you know, other not-really-fit-for-light-entertainment things.

― JimD (JimD), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:26 (twenty years ago)

i do feel a little uncomfortable about laughing at these people's misfortunes. but then they say something really stupid. and i laugh. lots.

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

will Wavis o'shave be this year's Rowetta?

..but do you love Wavis ?
Who remembers Wavis O'Shave?

Who is he then? And has he really entered?

― JimD (JimD), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

damn, I hadn't noticed this was back.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 20 August 2005 18:55 (twenty years ago)

Why does X Factor always make me weep uncontrollably?

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 20 August 2005 19:22 (twenty years ago)

Sorry if this goes into drunken rambling (I've been out) but what did peoples think of ginger 19 lady whose whole family were convinced she was the best thing ever? I sort of felt sorry for her because the entire famaley had were convinced this was her only chance.

I think what I'm saying is at this stage in the game there is an obvious desperation that I can laff at up to a point.

― fractal (fractal), Saturday, 20 August 2005 21:56 (twenty years ago)

"there's no sacrafice, when fings go wrong"

― jed_ (jed), Sunday, 21 August 2005 10:48 (twenty years ago)

haha, RJG already mentioned the "fings". the guy wasn't Irish though. the whole ginger 19 year old with the wetlook frizzy perm and the drawn on eyebrows thing made me cringe. she looked like she was well into her 40s that girl. how do you get like that?

― jed_ (jed), Sunday, 21 August 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

inbreeding? living close to overhead power lines? state education?

― michael grant (michael digby grant), Sunday, 21 August 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

x factor season 1?

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 21 August 2005 11:22 (twenty years ago)

will Wavis o'shave be this year's Rowetta?
..but do you love Wavis ?
Who remembers Wavis O'Shave?

Who is he then? And has he really entered?

A 'nutcase' character from way back, apparently auditioned in Newcastle (according to an e-mail he sentme) (so see next week I guess). Also apparently, did a 'straight' Steve Harley for "Stars in their eyes" a few years ago.

― mark grout (mark grout), Sunday, 21 August 2005 11:34 (twenty years ago)

I love love love this show.

How did the John Lennon guy's machine work? Did he take the peaks and troughs from a waveform of Lennon's voice and transpose them over his own voice or what? His bit was mind-boggling anyway, loved how he got a bit stroppy when they said it was just his voice and not John's.

haha the 19yr old with the frazzled perm and the face of a 43yr old nan. That was incredible TV. How the family were all like "Well that's it. She's dead now. Nothing to live. Life ruined. She'll probably kill herself tomorrow." Her weedy fiancé going "I love you! I proper love you, that's why we're engaged!" and 19yr old let out a small sneer, like 'Whatever..' Xtra Factor had that great scene with her hard-faced sister going "Well they might not like her voice but they can't take away those gorgeous gorgeous looks..."

My other favourites were the truly creepy couple from Wakefield (Spirit & Destiny?): "They can change their mind, we'll stand us ground," and as gormless-grin guy was being dragged away yelling "Sing em another song, Della!" Awesome.

Depsite that, there's something a bit panto about this one, with Louis and Simon playing up more for the cameras. Like when Simon dragged the producer off for a bollocking and half-heartedly ordered the cameraman not to film them. Clearly, they have to put a few nonsense people through, to keep the entertainment values high for later episodes but Cowell also has to act all disgusted to keep with his image of 'the professional'. I'm already hating Walsh's cheeky imp persona - and when he was being told off by Simon, why didn't he say "I'm putting them through because they're funny and make for great TV," rather than just "I'm putting them through. I want to. That's why. I want to. I just do. I want to."

Minor gripe though, the rest of the show more than makes up for it. Sadly, we only have about 3 or 4 of these audition episodes until it gets boring and all the *real* singers/performers take over.

― Affectian (Affectian), Monday, 22 August 2005 10:27 (twenty years ago)

The 'professional' (i.e. pub entertainers that get paid for what they do) can be sooooooo...oooooooooo precious about themselves. The very idea that they might not be good enough ...

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 22 August 2005 10:35 (twenty years ago)

Missed it this week, how did the Newcastle auditions go?

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

Missed it this week, how did the Newcastle auditions go?

Awesome. This bloke came in with a piano tie and all the spiel and sung halfway decent but Cowell told him 'you're destined to perform for the rest of your life to people holding peanuts.' Brutal haha. He got in a right strop.

― john clarkson, Tuesday, 30 August 2005 09:29 (twenty years ago)

The 4 yr old kid who did his song and dance was pretty cute and funny (blinking, all confused, "Did I win? Yes? I won X-Factor!") but he's going to grow up to be a prize bell-end.

Simon Cowell never goes into specifics.
Cowell: Your dress is terrible.
Wounded punter: *sob* What's wrong with it?
Cowell: It's hideous.
[edit]
It's annoying.

Amusing how when someone walks in who has clearly put through as a joke, Cowell sighs and spits "Go on then.."

ITV2 might be ITV1's poor cousin but surely they can do better than that awful awful Ben (Sharp?). He's like an entire series of Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps rolled into one insufferably smug and punchable host. And Katie Thornton isn't much better. Charlie Brooker's comment about BB's Saskia also applies: "She has a face that could advertise war."

― Affectian (Affectian), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 10:31 (twenty years ago)

The sequence with the guy with the piano tie was hilarious, especially his rant at the end with Cowell doing "you haven't", "you didn't" asides throughout.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 10:42 (twenty years ago)

bizarrely, the frizzy ginger 19yo from episode one is on the cover of womans mag Reveal having had a makeover.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Does she look human yet?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

i've just seen the TV ad for it, she looks... madeover!

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

Simon should have a hangover much more often. It increases his offhand cruelty to the power of ten.

― chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Tuesday, 30 August 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

I couldn't help look at Reveal in the supermarket last night.

IF YOU ACKOWLEDGE THAT'S AN IMPROVEMENT YOU MUST ALWAYS HAVE KNOWN YOU LOOKED AWFUL, YOU DOZY COW.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 31 August 2005 07:36 (twenty years ago)

This week, someone begged Sharon, who let him through. And now he's on This morning, and someone has offered him a record deal.

Who are these labels? How long do they last?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 5 September 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

Here’s me spending 12 years playing guitar and being in bands thinking that’s how you get signed.

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Monday, 5 September 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 123 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

it's so fucking retarded that maria went out, i dunno why i still watch it.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 10:52 (twenty years ago)

The only decent performance from Nicholas was the one at the first audition, since then he's been getting poorer by the week. To be honest, he probably should have gone the week he was up against Chenai but I was so pleased to see the fat-tongued whiner go I wasn't bothered.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

Is it true Louis Walsh has quit?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

What's this about louis quitting?? I saw the headline on the front of tomorrow's Sun (or maybe Mirror) at the end of tonight's Newsnight, but they didn't refer to it, and I've not been able to find anything about it anywhere else yet...

― JimD (JimD), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

(ooh, xpost)

― JimD (JimD), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

From Sky News Active:

He is quitting the show after being called am "idiot" by Simon Cowell.

Walsh said: "I have been totally humiliated and undermined by both of them...I'm not putting up with it any more."

Cowell begged him to stay saying: "I've been called all sorts of things but I have taken it in the spirit it was meant. I have known Louis for years. I know what a success is."

Sharon also urged Walsh to return, saying she liked and respected him. She was shocked and saddened by his departure.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

Hmmm, publicity stunt to regain the viewers currently choosing "Strictly Come Dancing" - watch on Saturday to see if Louis turns up? Surely not.

― cynical ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:42 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha, the ironing - "I have been totally humiliated and undermined" - don't dish out what you can't take, tosser. This show's whole premise is being mean to people who aren't as great as they think they are for the gratification of the viewing public. Why stop at the contestants?

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 00:47 (twenty years ago)

i wonder...

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

he'd probably be sued for breach of contract, so my guess is the lou-man witll be there on saturday.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 10:49 (twenty years ago)

They're running out of publicity stunts. Pouring water over each other is boring and doesn't make headlines. They'll have to execute the losers each week to keep people watching.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 11:59 (twenty years ago)

I thought the viewing figures were pretty healthy?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 12:20 (twenty years ago)

Don't they have a midweek controversy every week?

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 12:24 (twenty years ago)

In a series of text messages to Radio One reporter Dominic Byrne, Walsh said he "did walk" but later added he "hopes to be there on Saturday".

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

Songlist for Saturday:

Groups

Journey South
'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' - U2

Conway Sisters
'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' - Starting Line

16-24s

Shayne
'I Believe In A Thing Called Love' - The Darkness

25 and overs

Brenda
'I Will Always Love You' - Whitney Houston

Andy
'I Have Nothing' - Whitney Houston

Chico
'Billy Jean' - Michael Jackson

Ummm... Shane to go?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

wow, what a totally unexpected choice from journey south

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

They did it at boot camp as well, I think.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:19 (twenty years ago)

Never mind all that, what's the Whitney queue for?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:20 (twenty years ago)

Sharon wouldn't let Andy sing "One Way Ticket To Hell And Back" so he went for the next best thing.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:25 (twenty years ago)

Conway Sisters vs Chico in the bottom two, I think, though that is an insane choice by Shayne. He'll be fine - I'd guess that he or Andy will win this.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 November 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

Journey South
'Candle in the Wind' - Elton John
'Bad Day' - Daniel Powter

Andy
'When I Fall In Love' - Nat King Cole
'Easy Lover' - Phil Collins

Shayne
'Careless Whisper' - George Michael
'Take Your Mama Out' - Scissor Sisters

Brenda
'I'll Never Fall In Love Again' - Dionne Warwick
'I'm Outta Love' - Anastacia

Chico
'Time Warp' - The Rocky Horror Picture Show
'I Feel Good' - James Brown

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 2 December 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

pffffft.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 2 December 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

Bye bye Chico.
Last week, Simon let slip that Chico was consistently in the bottom 3. For second last: Andy's probably safe with NKC but Phil Collins could be a mistake. Brenda could go either way but she's improving so I'd back her this week. Might depend on likeability. JS and Shayne safe I expect.

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 2 December 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

hope they lose chico. or andy. or journey south.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 2 December 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

I'd like Brenda to win but it won't happen

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 2 December 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

Is Shayne trying to tell us something?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 2 December 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

Possibly, although maybe Louis chose them

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 2 December 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

Yes, Chico has to go now, in that there are no rubbishy acts to be a buffer. Can anyone imagine being excited by any records by any of the remaining five? Perhaps I'm just being cynical and forgetting apathy towards say the women who are now Girls Aloud.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 2 December 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

I don't like Shayne but I can see him doing ok. Would be surprised if he does anything interesting musically obv

― beanz (beanz), Friday, 2 December 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

brenda getting booted is a disaster. the final is sure to be a lot less interesting now.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 12 December 2005 13:34 (twenty years ago)

So, its between Sha(y)ne, Journey South, and Andy.

I'm not that bothered.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 12 December 2005 13:41 (twenty years ago)

Andy should have gorn.

― C J (C J), Monday, 12 December 2005 13:45 (twenty years ago)

yeah, even my mum's admitted he's gone crap.

― jed_ (jed), Monday, 12 December 2005 14:01 (twenty years ago)

brendan

― cozen (Cozen), Monday, 12 December 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Journey South eliminated in the first stage of the final, at last. It's not a bad last two, though I can't say I am excited to hear the first single by the winner - they are about to each perform the same song. There seems only the tiniest possible range of songs that would be good choices for both of them, so I am pessimistic.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

It's another tedious 'reach for your dream' ballad, slightly more Andy's territory by virtue of being old-fashioned, at a guess, but it wouldn't do anyone any favours.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

hello martin :)

if find it hard to beileve there's really 0.25% of difference in the votes. shayne's gotta win this, surely?

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

that was definatley a damp squib.

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

terrible song - shayne did well with it.

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

haha, "I would hate to be the public tonight" - Sharon.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

Shayne is the one with the potential, yes - Andy has sounded like another Steve from the start. Very good, and more or less my kind of singer, but a Xmas hit and vanishing is what I'd expect. Shayne could be a real star, but that depends on having material not at all like this first single.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

actually, you'd have some options with Shayne - I think you could push him to a Justin Timberlake territory or a Robbie Williams one. Both need really good songwriters and producers, of course.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 17 December 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

It's Shayne, on a close vote, they say.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 17 December 2005 22:00 (twenty years ago)

"you may have been a bin man but you are certainly.... not rubbish" !!!

― jed_ (jed), Saturday, 17 December 2005 22:02 (twenty years ago)

my office is playing up the 'shayne's dad is a rapist' angle. i thought he earned the win.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 19 December 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

Shayne's a good-looking lad, and he does seem to be able to sing so I guess he deserved to win. I'm sorry that Journey South came third, because I think they would have been worthy second-placers.

The interviews with Shayne's family in the pod were interesting - what was that his brother was saying? Something about 'you weren't always such a good lad but things have turned out okay now', which sort of intimated that Shayne might have had a run-in (or two) with the law himself.

― C J (C J), Monday, 19 December 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

i thought shayne and maria were the series' best bets to be any good as pop stars, so it was a result.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 19 December 2005 10:05 (twenty years ago)

A source said: "They were baying for his blood. He tried to be the big man by telling inmates he was in for an axe attack.

"But once everyone found out he raped an old woman, they were furious. Ward is living in constant fear for his life."

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 19 December 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

X Factor 'celebrity' special will air on 29 May. It will feature Jade Goody, that woman who talks about poo a lot on You Are What You Eat, and the woman who played Dan's girlfriend in Hollyoaks, who can obviously hold a note as she had a top eight hit with Girl Thing in 2000. Girl Thing also recorded a version of Pure & Simple that made it onto an album in Asia, but the songwriters tossed it to Hear'Say before they could release it as a single in the UK.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 07:32 (twenty years ago)

No release date for the version of Pure & Simple sung by the kids outside the newsagents in Bermondsey as they happy-slapped Myleene Klass recently, then.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 07:36 (twenty years ago)

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