RING OF THE MUSKETEERS starring David Hasselhoff as a modern day D'Artagnan and Cheech Marin as a modern day Aramis WTF

They don't trust Cheech Marin! Alison Doody sez, "You're not ready yet!" but John R-D makes them take him along anyway!

more like this, please: tonight I have witnessed Carrot Top "jump the shark"

no no this is urgent and key

apparently being a musketeer in the '90s involved PROTECTING JITTERY MOB WITNESSES

tonight I have witnessed gear "jump the shark"

you used to be called "Gear!", didn't you?

yes but my login was screwed

that explains it

twat

sorry, i've been drinking

a lot of us have been drinking

all i have on my upn is the parkers :-(

Well, whiskey, I really believed in what I was selling. I really... I think George Dickel is absolutely the best Tennessee mash whiskey. It's my understanding that Jack Daniel's was an attempt to try to take the recipe of George Dickel to a commercial state of reproducing it. Whereas they couldn't do that with George Dickel, because in order to make it the way they make it, they would have had to repeat too many different formulas. It would have been impossible. They did certain things at certain temperatures in a certain kind of water. So I went down there and looked at their distilleries and saw what they were doing, saw the difference between that and Jack Daniel's, and I couldn't believe it. You take George Dickel and you pour it over ice and hold it up to the light, and it won't separate. But if you take Jack Daniel's and do that, hold it up to the light, you'll notice that the corn oil starts separating from the whiskey, because it hasn't been married at the correct temperature. When you go down and have this education thrown upon you, and then you drink it—everybody got drunk when we was taking pictures. It was about 20 girls and about 20 guys, and we're all down in this creek drunk with two fists of George Dickel apiece, and we all stayed over and had breakfast together, and not a one of us had a hangover.

- Merle Haggard

holy shit ricky jay is in this movie

I have a morbid urge to want to see this now, for some reason.

i saw the ad for this and actually thought to myself "I wonder if anyone has ever sat through this movie, even counting the directors, editors and studio heads". I caught the first joke (from an operator lady at a switchboard?) and turned to TLC to watch their knockoff of that ABC show where they play good samaritans and makeover a house. The 10 year old rerun of Seinfeld that I've seen 50+ times set quite a high bar for comedy tonight, "ring" just couldn't hang I'm afraid

corbin bernsen as a jittery undercover cop!

but there are funny bits! like the scene where the foursome are going to go undercover at a fancy restaurant and cheech says, "hey make me maitre'd, i look good in a tux!" and one of the others says, "I think we've got a job that's perfect for you." cut to cheech in a busboy uniform, and he says, "not a busboy!!" : o

ahh 20th century humor

20th century cheech restaurant humor no less

the cancellation of Golden Palace left a void that only the Hassellhoff was canny enough to fill.
(Golden Palace now showing on Lifetime for a limited time!)

I have a sudden urge to drink George Dickel whiskey.

Hi Rob! *waves*

gear, have you thought about watching the movies listed on this thread: I DOWNLOADED A GHOST

wait, what???

DEAD WOMEN IN LINGERIE

These Girls Have A Secret...
That They'll never live to tell.

A private detective is hired to catch a serial killer who makes immigrant garment workers his victims.

MAURA TIERNEY
ER, Welcome To Mooseport, Liar Liar

JERRY ORBACK
Law And Order, Dirty Dancing, Crimes And Misdemeanors

MPAA:  "R"
Genre:  Thriller
Approximately:  86 min
Year:  1991
Pre-Order Date: September 01, 2005
Street Date: September 20, 2005

THE LOST ANGEL

A Serial Killer... With An Ancient Taste For Killing.

Inspector Billie Palmer is a policewoman assigned to a special crimes task force. She’s got a lot of problems. While on the trail of a serial killer who leaves messages in cuneiform, she wounds a suspect in self defense and becomes the object of an Internal Affairs witch hunt. Traumatized by having to watch the murder of her mother, she is obsessed with the safety of her teenage sister, who herself has become the target for revenge against Billie. Meanwhile the ongoing serial killings make Billie the object of the media bloodhounds who wonder why she can’t catch the killer.

 

ALISON EASTWOOD
Poolhall Junkies, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

JUDD NELSON
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, The Breakfast Club

C. THOMAS HOWELL
Hidalgo, E.T. the Extra Terrestrial

JOHN RHYS-DAVIES
The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Raiders of the Lost Ark

BORDER BLUES

It's Not Where You Cross...
It's Who You Cross.

Maklovsky (Eric Roberts) is a dangerous and unpredictable smuggler on the Mexican-American border. When he attempts to help a Russian woman and her young daughter into the United States, their border escape is complicated by a corrupt Mexican cop, Morales (Erik Estrada), who is ruthlessly chasing after them. Concurrently, in Los Angeles, Police Chief Michael March (Gary Busey) is in search of a mail-bomb killer terrorizing Los Angeles. Could the killer and smuggler be one and the same? Through the streets of Mexico, Los Angeles and Moscow, this tension laced suspense thriller will take you on many twists and turns – before the truth is uncovered.

ERICK ROBERTS

ERIK ESTRADA

GARY BUSEY

EKATERINA REDNIK

MPAA:  "R"
Genre:  Thriller
Approximately:  86 min.
Pre-Order Date: October 06, 2004
Street Date: October 26, 2004

STANDING ON FISHES

An Un-Romantic Comedy

Set in contemporary Los Angeles, “Standing on Fishes” follows the twisted journey of Caleb (Bradford Tatum), a sculptor caught in the never-ending battle to maintain his artistic integrity and still make a living.  When hired by a flamboyant film director Richard Verk (Kelsey Grammar), Caleb decides to compromise his artistic ideas to pay off some debts. To further aggravate things, Caleb’s charmingly abrasive girlfriend, Erica (Meredith Scott Lynn), continually offers her politically correct opinions about Caleb’s current project and Hollywood’s objectification of women.

MEREDITH SCOTT LYNN
Hollywood Homicide

BRADFORD TATUM
Down Periscope

JASON PRIESTLEY
Beverly Hills 90210

KELSEY GRAMMAR
Frasier

PAMELA REED
Kindergarten Cop

LAUREN FOX
Pi

MPAA:  "R"
Genre: Comedy
Approximately:  92 min.
Pre-Order Date: February 12, 2004
Street Date: March 02, 2004

WEST NEW YORK

On The Other Side Of The River, An Ex-Cop Is About To Cross The Line...

Tom (FRANK VINCENT), an ex-cop, who supervises the disposal of old bank bonds at a Jersey City bank, creates a seemingly fool proof scheme to skim some of the bonds prior to their destruction. When local mob boss, Carmine (VINCENT PASTORE), gets word of the deal and the fact that he wasn’t being cut in, he puts out a hit across town, hoping to flush out Tom’s identity.

FRANK VINCENT
Cop Land, Casino, Good Fellas

VINCENT PASTORE
The Sopranos, Mickey Blue Eyes, Gotti

MPAA:  "R"
Genre: Thriller
Approximately:  90 min.
Pre-Order Date: February 10, 2000
Street Date: February 29, 2000

 

CHAPTER ZERO

Adam's Having A Mid-Life Crisis.  At Thirty?

Two months before his 30th birthday, Adam's dreams of success are shattered when his boss Cassandra, the sexy and savvy editor at Larabee Publishing, rejects his first novel. Plunging headfirst into depression, Adam becomes obsessed with the failures that have defined his life, listing them all in rich detail in his notebook. When his best friend Jane smuggles the notebook out of his house and into the hands of a publisher, Adam suddenly finds himself the object of a bidding war between publishers who herald him as the voice of his generation.

DYLAN WALSH
Nip/Tuck, Blood Work

LAUREL HOLLOMAN
The ‘L’ Word, Boogie Nights

PENELOPE ANN MILLER
Carlito’s Way, Kindergarten Cop

COLM MEANEY
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Con Air

JUSTIN KIRK
Angels in America, Love! Valour! Compassion!

LEE MAJORS
Out Cold, The Six Million Dollar Man

MPAA:  "R"
Genre:  Comedy
Approximately:  104 min.
Pre-Order Date: March 23, 2005
Street Date: April 12, 2005

I didn't know they made a movie about Adam.