Smoking in the boys room

* Pulled the chair out from under the annoying girl who sat next to me, didn't get in trouble because no one liked her.

* Hung out in construction site with friends, started messing around with this huge spool that cable or wire came on, somehow got it started rolling down a hill, couldn't stop it.

* Celebrated the Indian holiday of Diwali, wherein you run around and spray everyone with dyed water or just dye powder to make them colorful, an Australian man came out of his house and yelled at us for getting dye on his home and his flowers (???), so next year we went back to his house and gave it special Diwali attention, later got seperated from some of my friends and became convinced that the Australian had had them arrested, actually went to a police station to try and track them down.

beat up a kid really badly because he said I was "the devil" (!)

threw a sweater into the giraffe cage at zoo

threw snowball into older kid's mouth at school.

broke wing mirrors on a van parked at the end of my friend David's road.

* Stole a piece of gum from a bucket in a French shop on the way to a family picnic, later my dad saw me take it out of my pocket and chased me around a tree

* My sister and I were jumping on my grandparents' bed and touching the blade of the ceiling fan, I accidentally hit the blade too hard and broke it off.

smashed windows with footballs on several occasions

adam are you and I the only people on ILX at the moment?
I feel like I'm in the desert.

...........#

Maybe I should do something else for a while.

You know those spray devices on some kitchen sinks that are attached to some sort of hose? Well I taped the handle down so that when you turn on the water instead of it coming out the faucet it came out of that nozzle thing. It soaked my sister.

I rigged a complicated trap involving string and a bucket of water on top of a door only to have the bucket smack my dad in the head and the water pour a few inches away from him

Also, placing a banana on the telephone cradle was a million laffs.

A friend and I went on a spray-painting campaign in our neighbourhood. He painted a big red KISS logo on my school, and then I showed up the next day with red paint all over my parka.
"I don't even like KISS! You know that!" was not an adequate defense.

* Helped my friend Jamie put out a very Hunter-S.-Thompson-inspired "underground newspaper" that we distributed around our school, lots of terrible "gonzo" writing, hints of drug use, and "satire." I think he had to go talk to the principal about it but nothing really happened.

I may have told this story before, but: in middle school art class, we were allowed to bring in music to listen to while we drew or painted or whatever. My friend Amar had an NWA tape sitting out on our table for some reason, and the teacher came up, picked it up, and started reading the song titles. She went on this long rampage about misogyny and swearing and I thought we were going to get in trouble, but she ended up saying it was society's fault and that we weren't to blame.

we had to go to this place called hengrave hall for the day and read the bible with some church dudes, and at lunch time we were jamming a tape of regulate: the g funk era and the wayne marshall classic sex jam "g spot" only to be out done by an older kid who took off his jacket to reveal a skin tight bright yellow t-shirt that said THE SEX PISTOLS NEVER MIND THE BOLOCKS in pink writing!!

I got spanked with a ping-pong paddle for bringing a jar of scorpions to class, which I hid in my desk but showed to everybody. The janitor dispatched the poor crustaceans.

In 8th grade a friend and I placed our pocket combs in the heating unit of our homeroom thinking they would be blown back out. Instead, the fan just made this awful mangled mechanical noise. No one could stop it. Apparently the unit couldn't be shut off without taking the whole school's system down.

So off to the principal's office we went. It must've been around Easter as there were drawings of rabbits hung all over her walls. While the two of us sat there waiting for doomsday, we began laughing uncontrollably at these works of art. Mrs. Hicks arrived amid hysterical laughter and could not convince us to restrain ourselves. When she recited the charges against us we only laughed harder.

I'm sure we got a few detentions for that one.

i found the master key to all the golf carts at a local golf course and joy rided them into the pond and sand traps with friends while on lsd in the rain. :(

oh my! So many tales to choose from!

-Playing at a construction site with friends and there was a big pi;e of cushiony stuff in a heap on the ground. We decided it would be fun to jump into the cushy stuff from way up high, like umm, jumping into hay from the loft? Turns out it was FIBERGLASS insulation. Itched like hell for a couple of days and had to take collodial oatmeal bathes.

-There used to be water-fueled (not to be confused with "FULED" as in Poxy) water-powered I guess fire extinguishers. In 10th and 11th grade, on Friday nites it was fun to steal an extinguisher and then fire it out the back window at random people on bus benches.*

-drive onto the local golf course when sprinklers were on and do 360s in the car and tear up the grass.*

*I still have guilt and regret for these, but lord it was funny at the time. Still, I should have known better. Adult remorse strikes.

Between October 1975 and November 1980, I attacked and killed some thirteen women.

went hunting for christmas presents in my mum's wardrobe to find the walkman i had wanted so much. when i found it i deliberatly broke it in a fit of rage before i was even supposed to have it because it was a radio walkman (i suppose we were quite poor) not the cassette one i had wanted. i still feel bad about it to this day.

pried up manhole covers all over Reno NV and left them on people doorsteps or in some occasions, in the driver's seat of their cars

oh that reminds me. one time when i was 15 and on speed me and my older friend, casey (i think he was 22!) were walking around a suburban simi neighborhood and stealing from cars. i scored a bong that night by finding a note on a car that said "BRENT, ITS UNDERNEATH THE TRAILER" so i went to look underneath the trailer and there was this double chambered acrylic bong! i was like "wow i scored!" i had that bong for a long time until that tweeker bastard RYAN COOK stole it from me (karma). anyway, we got to this one house and i had a really bad feeling about it cuz the lights were on inside but he didnt give a fuck. i told him not to open the car but he was insisting on it so i freaked and hid in the bushes. he opened the car and this dad micheal chikles lookin dude came running out and grabbed him and held him down and started beating the shit out of him. i ran the fuck home and left him. i guess he held him down until the cops came and he got in alot of trouble. casey lives in some weird town in central california now has like 8 kids. i was such a fucker. thank god i didnt get hooked on that shit.