"Needing Space" C or D?

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My SO wants/needs space. This is after the L word has been dropped, and several months of head-over-heels infatuation and nearly constant contact. They finally came forward and said they have a lot of issues to work out, which has been obvious to me for a while. If there's to be any future for us, this has to happen. I think we're probably fucked, but want to hold out hope.

Advice or kind words would be appreciated along with the inevitable wry commentary. Apologies for shitty pronoun usage.

― outlogged, Thursday, 25 August 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

It's too bad you can't bottle space.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 25 August 2005 16:37 (twenty years ago)

Give them space. If they're saying they need it then they do. If it's meant to work out, it will and there's nothing you can really do about it. While you've made up your mind, they haven't. This person is not necessarily the be all and end all of everything, although it may seem that way right now. Give yourself space too. Get out, meet people, have fun. Take care of some projects/hobbies you've been neglecting. Treat it as over for now. If it's not, they'll contact you. (Sorry for the list, but these are all things you need to remember).

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 25 August 2005 16:38 (twenty years ago)

there's a hard way and an easy way going about this -- i naturally choose the hard way every time. the hard way is the way that makes you want to turn the ceiling fan up to high speed and then stick yr head up innit.

but yeah, what spencer says is totally otm.

― ai lien (kold_krush), Thursday, 25 August 2005 16:40 (twenty years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre900/e935/e935976a3pb.jpg

― and I can walk out into the world, singing with my people (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 25 August 2005 16:40 (twenty years ago)

You are fucked. You only have one chance: tell the person exactly how you feel about them, then say it's either all or nothing and break off all contact.

If you are lucky, in one month the person might come crawling back to you.

― Good Dog (Good Dog), Thursday, 25 August 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

"What a Bastard the World Is" is one of the best songs ever.

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 25 August 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

space is good. what does "taking space" entail tho, is the root of your fear and hence your question. Will dating others be an option? If it's just taking space and time for oneself to evaluate and contemplate your future together, fantastic. Even testing the waters of dating can be ok too, your SO will likely find out the grass is not greener and how good they have it already. Stay cool, As Good Dog said, do express how stongly you feel about your SO to your SO and then stand back and keep yourself busy busy busy. Good luck.

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Thursday, 25 August 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

It's supposed to be space to find oneself again after some serious trauma, and not being as exclusive. I'd be more specific but that would only result in blabbering and repeating myself over and over again.

― outlogged (OutDatWay), Thursday, 25 August 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Whoops, you just posted that one logged-IN.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 25 August 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I realized that after the fact.

Fuckit

― outlogged, Thursday, 25 August 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

Yes, let them know exactly how you feel, but then let it go. You're not doing yourself any good, and you're not attracting them more if you try to cling to things and keep calling etc.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 25 August 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

Righto Spence, OTM.

― Wiggy (Wiggy), Thursday, 25 August 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

I close my eyes and ignore all the signs
I'm walking 'round in circles
I've closed my ears and believed my own lies
And break the silence always

I make a lot of words, big storm in the air
All 'round your hair it's blowing
Just leave it be and it will all blow away
The weather's always changing

You can go if you want to
I don't own you, go be wild
Leave my hand, it's wide open
So's the door evermore

It hurts me more to think I'll keep you in chains
Than if you were to leave me.
I am what you are and I'm running too,
All for the open prairie.

So you can go if you want to
I don't own you, go be wild
Leave my hand it's wide open
So's the door forevermore.

― just another honky, Thursday, 25 August 2005 17:56 (twenty years ago)

Dud. What ever happened to "I don't love you anymore"???

― Old School (sexyDancer), Thursday, 25 August 2005 18:08 (twenty years ago)

if that were the truly the case needing space wouldn't be the issue then.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Thursday, 25 August 2005 18:10 (twenty years ago)

That's just what they call it 'round these parts. I hear it's the place.

― Old School (sexyDancer), Thursday, 25 August 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

"You are fucked. You only have one chance: tell the person exactly how you feel about them, then say it's either all or nothing and break off all contact.

If you are lucky, in one month the person might come crawling back to you"

I did this, the person didn't come back, I think we're both probably better off for it.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 25 August 2005 21:08 (twenty years ago)

Make them feel like Neil Fucking Armstrong.
Dud.Dud.Dud.Dud.Dud.Dud.Dud.Dud.Dud.
but classic in every way.

― Dumped, Thursday, 25 August 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

http://depts.washington.edu/ctltstaf/cc/images/seattle-space-needle-restaurant.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 25 August 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

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