Funny Headlines

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
"Pullout leaves Sharon on slippery ground."

Jay Leno (Alex in SF), Thursday, 25 August 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

You can't make this stuff up, folks.

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 25 August 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

My college newspaper once ran "Body in search of head"

Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 25 August 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

ha! saw the title and thought did leno come on board?

andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Thursday, 25 August 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

"Jenna Bush's fedral wetlands now open for drilling"

(Yes, it's from The Onion and thus not strictly applicable, but it made me piss myself)

chap who would dare to thwart the revolution (chap), Thursday, 25 August 2005 21:59 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...
Miami selected as site of 2010 pro gridiron championship game

a.k.a. THE SUPER BOWL.


Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 6 October 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

I can't wait for the professional baseball championship sequence that will be played at a later time during this particular allotment of the year.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 6 October 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

When I was a student, the expert grammarians at the Sheffield Steel Press came up with "Sex tragedy of hung student" as their splash headline after some fresher did a Hutchence.

Which was not funny in the stricest sense, but still made me giggle.

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 7 October 2005 05:39 (twenty years ago)

By which I meant the strictest sense...

Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 7 October 2005 05:39 (twenty years ago)

Hackney Gazette's current ad boards read 'Man Shot In The Bottom'.

Suckling robot at a warrior rave (alix), Friday, 7 October 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

You must know the famous one when Michael Foot was picked to be chairman of a Parliamentary committee to look into the arms trade?

FOOT HEADS ARMS BODY

... unfortunately not sure if it's true

Not sure if this one is true either, but it was a World War II headline supposedly:

BRITISH PUSH BOTTLES UP GERMANS REAR

Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 7 October 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

My favourite one from this year was when Young Boys Berne finally raised enough charitable donations to fix their ailing stadium, the Wankdorf.

Young Boys Wankdorf Erection Relief, as ESPN put it.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 7 October 2005 13:46 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...
"Skywalkers in Korea cross Han solo"

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

haha

Hurting 2, Thursday, 17 May 2007 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

Obviously deliberate though.

Hurting 2, Thursday, 17 May 2007 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

This one just struck me as slightly funny and awkward:

Japan irked toddler put in baby drop box

Hurting 2, Thursday, 17 May 2007 02:31 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

# Autopsy planned in missing woman case (AP)

Hurting 2, Sunday, 24 June 2007 18:11 (eighteen years ago)

ha wut

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 24 June 2007 18:29 (eighteen years ago)

It's not hilarious, but it kind of sounds like they're already planning the autopsy even though they haven't found the woman. Just bad headline writing.

Hurting 2, Sunday, 24 June 2007 18:32 (eighteen years ago)

Germans Bar Cruise

gabbneb, Tuesday, 26 June 2007 13:40 (eighteen years ago)

ten months pass...

'Man shoots dad in butt'

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 00:05 (eighteen years ago)

'TEENAGE MUTANT BINGE IN THURLES'

Michael B, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 00:14 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

French man with two asses surprises Swedish officials.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 15:33 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

Confused sea turtles march into Italian restaurant

Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 August 2008 13:50 (seventeen years ago)

my forever favourite remains Prisoner to sue jail after swallowing plastic fork.

Merdeyeux, Friday, 22 August 2008 17:03 (seventeen years ago)

Cash-in-buttocks man in M25 ban

ledge, Friday, 29 August 2008 19:02 (seventeen years ago)

Obama, McCain vie for suburbanites, white women (AP)

Hurting 2, Friday, 29 August 2008 19:54 (seventeen years ago)

haha i saw that cash-in-buttocks man headline earlier but couldn't find this thread

Ste, Friday, 29 August 2008 22:25 (seventeen years ago)

four months pass...

Probe finds toilet paper 'dumping'

Pope Gay Homo Awful House Music (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:25 (seventeen years ago)

The more you think about it the worse it gets.

Pope Gay Homo Awful House Music (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:26 (seventeen years ago)

Art Hoax Unites Europe in Displeasure

Gorgeous Preppy (G00blar), Thursday, 15 January 2009 14:54 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

Crew of space station survives a close call with space junk

Alex in SF, Thursday, 12 March 2009 18:35 (seventeen years ago)

Not a favourite by any means, but I bet some sub at the BBC is dead proud of himself for getting this in ten years after anyone gave a fuck

Manic Street Features

ailsa, Saturday, 21 March 2009 01:03 (seventeen years ago)

two weeks pass...

It's all gone Pete Tong in Kim Jong Taepodong ding-dong

James Mitchell, Monday, 6 April 2009 10:10 (seventeen years ago)

Good to see that only two words are important in that article. SONGS and NO

StanM, Monday, 6 April 2009 10:23 (seventeen years ago)

Obama May Block Sun's Rays to End Global Warming
FOXNews –
‎8 minutes ago‎

corps of discovery (schlump), Wednesday, 8 April 2009 17:37 (seventeen years ago)

one month passes...

current Accuweather headline: "Weather for This Morning's Plane Crashes"

'funny'

"the whale saw her" (gabbneb), Wednesday, 20 May 2009 14:48 (seventeen years ago)

three weeks pass...


The Capital Times
'Country' arrested after allegedly threatening to go 'wild hillbilly' on man

The Capital Times — 6/12/2009 7:55 am

A man called "Country" was arrested for allegedly pulling out a knife at an east-side city park and threatening another man, apparently telling the victim "I'm going to cut you up like a wild hillbilly."

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Friday, 12 June 2009 16:26 (seventeen years ago)

but "a wild hillbilly" is the name of his dog, doctor...

Mark G, Friday, 12 June 2009 16:36 (seventeen years ago)

i'm confused, is he going to cut him up like a wild hillbilly would cut him up, or is he going to cut him up like he would cut up a wild hillbilly

Ømår Littel (Jordan), Friday, 12 June 2009 16:38 (seventeen years ago)

Maybe it would have been clearer had he said, "Like a wild hillbilly, I'm going to cut you up."

I assuming if the rascal was going around calling himself "Country", this was his intention.

Pleasant Plains, Friday, 12 June 2009 16:42 (seventeen years ago)

True story. When I was in college I lived in an apartment complex where a lot of the U of Illinois football players lived and I ended up befriending them when they discovered I had Goldeneye on the N64, so they'd drop by from time to time to play. Anyway, one of the big linebackers was from some small town in Alabama and the other guys called him "Big Country" because he was, well, big and from the country. I cracked wise about Big Country the band and was met with lots of weird stares. True story.

the sideburns are album-specific (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 12 June 2009 17:28 (seventeen years ago)

We get these Toughman contests down here where your average joe can get in the ring and whup up on some other average joes and get away with it. Of course, since this is their time in the spotlight, they all get to adopt these monikers for the announcers to use:

"And from Fordyce, we have BIG COUNTRY."
"He's come here all the way from Russellville, give it up for THE HELLBILLY."

and our favorite,

"From Stuttgart, here's .... STUTTGART."

Pleasant Plains, Friday, 12 June 2009 18:42 (seventeen years ago)

dr "country" morbius

gangsta hug (omar little), Friday, 12 June 2009 18:44 (seventeen years ago)

(My fav pic of those lolcat things was that "We can't stop here, this is big country", you know the one)

Mark G, Friday, 12 June 2009 22:53 (seventeen years ago)

"Freed man attacks justice system"

not so much funny, but made me chuckle in a clever way.

Molecular Man (Ste), Tuesday, 16 June 2009 23:35 (seventeen years ago)

um, i didn't chuckle cleverly. oh nevermind.

Molecular Man (Ste), Tuesday, 16 June 2009 23:36 (seventeen years ago)

three months pass...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/north_yorkshire/8298290.stm

ilxor in the news

Great Scott! It's Molecular Man. (Ste), Friday, 9 October 2009 12:21 (sixteen years ago)

Cleavage!

StanM, Friday, 9 October 2009 12:56 (sixteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/markeaston/2009/11/why_was_david_nutt_sacked.html

u think of blood and get stuck there (tremendoid), Monday, 2 November 2009 01:41 (sixteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

Chef Paula Deen accidentally hit by charity ham.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 25 November 2009 21:32 (sixteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-world/us-boy-licks-pole-gets-stuck-20091212-kp1x.html

matt preston school of industry (electricsound), Friday, 11 December 2009 23:00 (sixteen years ago)

two months pass...

Titter ye not

Tom D (Tom D.), Thursday, 25 February 2010 16:38 (sixteen years ago)

four months pass...
eleven months pass...

Clever:
Bachmann's Turn for Overdrive

Don Rickles on the Dime (jaymc), Monday, 27 June 2011 15:26 (fourteen years ago)

four months pass...

bbc website just now LATEST:

Police in Mexico find 19 prostitutes and 100 fighting cocks among inmates at Acapulco prison

(Algerian Goalkeeper) Vs (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Tuesday, 8 November 2011 03:01 (fourteen years ago)

one year passes...

new scientist on a roll

Spider builds giant decoy of itself

Human hands evolved so we could punch each other

ledge, Friday, 21 December 2012 14:48 (thirteen years ago)

maybe two isn't 'a roll'

ledge, Friday, 21 December 2012 14:50 (thirteen years ago)

"Window cleaner killed by giant pencil" is still my favourite headline of all time.

emil.y, Friday, 21 December 2012 14:52 (thirteen years ago)

spider punched by own decoy after evolving human hands (fuuuuck)

nashwan, Friday, 21 December 2012 14:53 (thirteen years ago)

three months pass...

Scratching my head at this one:

Essex school bans triangular flapjacks after injury
Following an incident when a boy was hit in the face, dinner staff told to cut the snack into squares or rectangles

SEO Speedwagon (seandalai), Monday, 25 March 2013 15:22 (thirteen years ago)

two years pass...

An Octoroon Playwright Will Develop Series for HBO

I Am Curious (Dolezal) (DJP), Tuesday, 24 November 2015 22:21 (ten years ago)

eight months pass...

AdBlock Plus blocked in China: 159m forbidden from stripping adverts
Builders bemoan browser-based banner buster being blatantly banned

Nhex, Saturday, 6 August 2016 02:38 (nine years ago)

four years pass...

There have been some great headlines on the Washington Post lately, like "Capitol riot suspect pictured at Pelosi’s desk screams ‘It’s not fair’ in court." But there was one yesterday that was practically iambic pentameter poetry: "Four cats saved from sinking ship by Thai sailor who swam to save them." Drop "Thai" and that's downright Shakespearian.

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 5 March 2021 14:08 (five years ago)

Another WaPo one today: "‘Cherry freedom’ sweeps China despite virus fears — and the thrill is infectious."

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 8 March 2021 15:03 (five years ago)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EwC54IwWEAcXL4v?format=jpg&name=medium

calzino, Tuesday, 9 March 2021 15:01 (five years ago)

one month passes...

Clearly WaPo person is having a blast. "The GOP’s big bulk book-buying machine is boosting Republicans on the bestseller lists."

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 18 April 2021 13:22 (five years ago)

two years pass...

Indian man urinating on train track dies after being hit by ‘flying cow’

calzino, Monday, 24 April 2023 12:46 (three years ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.