“We must be like the Russians defending Moscow against Napoleon, ready to scorch the earth to stay ahead of the invaders. We must be Sony united and fight them like the Sony warriors we are.”

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This is my favourite piece of bad motivational management talk ever. More classic examples here please.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 23 September 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

I thought the Russians abandoned Moscow, allowing Napoleon to occupy it?

Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 23 September 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

"Fat Tony is a cancer on this city and I am the....uhhh, what cures cancer?"

Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Friday, 23 September 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

"Kutuzov realized that any further defense of the city would be senseless, and he withdrew his forces, prompting the citizens of Moscow to began a massive and panicked exodus. When Napoleon's army arrived on September 14, they found a city depopulated and bereft of supplies..."

Raymond Douglas Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 23 September 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

So that's the minidisc format screwed, then.

mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 23 September 2005 12:05 (twenty years ago)

"the grass isn't always greener. Even if you have no arms and legs, at least you're not dead. Well, I'd rather be dead because I've just gotten into yoga ... ."

Don King of the Mountain (noodle vague), Friday, 23 September 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

Sony is fucking toast. They need to spin off the stupid media arms and go back to making disruptive technology like the goddamn Betamax and the Walkman to keep up the their consumer electronics brand; you'd think they got their bread buttered by motion pictures, record sales and video game publishing the way they act lately. Morons. Why don't you come out with another closed, proprietary media format, Sony? Oh, snap.

To actually contribute to the thread, though perhaps not part of a motivational speech, because everybody's seen the "developers developers developers developers" monkey dance:

"At that point, Mr. Ballmer picked up a chair and threw it across the room hitting a table in his office," Lucovosky recounted, adding that Ballmer then launched into a tirade about Google CEO Eric Schmidt. "I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill Google." Schmidt previously worked for Sun Microsystems and was the CEO of Novell.

TOMBOT, Friday, 23 September 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Ballmer is my hero.

tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

Ballmer is like the actually crazy Howard Dean.

The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 23 September 2005 13:35 (twenty years ago)

Haha that just makes me realize how NICE it would be if somebody in the Democratic Party would actually say something along the lines of "I'm going to fucking bury that guy" about the current administration.

TOMBOT, Friday, 23 September 2005 15:45 (twenty years ago)

I used to like sony

RJG (RJG), Friday, 23 September 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

80s retro is still hot so expect the walkman to make a comeback

if every computer in the world dies!!! haha dumb sony more like pony (shit)!!!

ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!, Friday, 23 September 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

Where is that Sony quote from?

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 23 September 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

from a speech the head honcho made in tokyo. more:
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-sony23sep23,0,3110005.story?coll=la-home-business

Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Friday, 23 September 2005 16:10 (twenty years ago)

Thanks!

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 23 September 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)


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