waterbeds, classic or dud?

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they have always seemed horrible to me, yet they are apparently popular enough not only to prolong their existence but to prompt the adoption of new, advanced waterbed technologies. perhaps it would be nice to sleep on a heated polyp?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 30 September 2005 04:11 (twenty years ago)

I think you mistake the exact purpose of waterbeds.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 30 September 2005 04:13 (twenty years ago)

That's the exact purpose?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 30 September 2005 04:25 (twenty years ago)

Don't question Ned's cred here.

― Masked Gazza, Friday, 30 September 2005 04:27 (twenty years ago)

Avoid! Those things will absolutely destroy your spinal alignment.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Friday, 30 September 2005 04:27 (twenty years ago)

I can't stand 'em. They're so awkwardly difficult to get out of, for one thing.

― Bimble The Nimble, Jumped Over A Thimble! (Bimble...), Friday, 30 September 2005 04:39 (twenty years ago)

http://static.userland.com/images/mootmom/GuysAndFatWaterbed.jpg

You're right. The less I question, the better off I'll be.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 30 September 2005 05:00 (twenty years ago)

KLASSIK!

― emsk ( emsk), Friday, 30 September 2005 09:49 (twenty years ago)

They are fucking horrible. Made out of RUBBER or VINYL or summat and impossible to get into/out of comfortably, and FORGET about sleeping in them with another human w/o both of you waking up 1000x.

― Roxymuzak, Mrs. Carbohydrate (roxymuzak), Friday, 30 September 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

However, I fully support the development of a "pudding bed."

― Roxymuzak, Mrs. Carbohydrate (roxymuzak), Friday, 30 September 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Isn't this for lazy bastards who want the bed to do all the work for them when having sex?

― nathalie, a bum like you (stevie nixed), Friday, 30 September 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

i think its impossible to fuck on a waterbed. its like trying to fuck on a pool tube.

― bingo (Chris V), Friday, 30 September 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

I want a circular revolving bed, like the one on that darkness video clip. I wonder if they make water beds like that?

Except I probably wouldn't be able to stop thinking about what foulsomeness was brewing up in the constantly heated water.

― Menelaus Darcy (Menelaus Darcy), Friday, 30 September 2005 13:55 (twenty years ago)

dud.

― AaronK (AaronK), Friday, 30 September 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

I've never seen one apart from in pictures...I feel I am missing out...

― smee (smee), Friday, 30 September 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

I remember my uncle had one when I was a kid. Scared the shit out of me when I sat on it, and I never have done again. Awful, how would you even sleep?

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 30 September 2005 19:29 (twenty years ago)

When you live in hot-ass Florida, there're nice to sleep on in the dead of summer with no sheets.

― PappaWheelie B.C., Friday, 30 September 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

http://www.earth.us/img/Fall2005/images/VentureFullGrainAnilineBlack.jpg

The classics endure.

― M. V. (M.V.), Friday, 30 September 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

Dud absolute. Slept on one for 3 years (the cheapest possible, full motion sack-o-water). The heater went out, the cats bit holes in it, you have to fill it with chemicals to keep the algae from growing, they are bastards to get out of, incredibly heavy, difficult to move, the plastic smell pervades and, while interesting for sex on an occasional basis, impose real limitations on that sort of fun activity.

The only plus - it was comfortable to sleep on my side and belly while pregnant (but impossible to sleep on my back).

― Jaq (Jaq), Friday, 30 September 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

plus: no sharp-handed boyfriends!

― emilys. (emilys.), Friday, 30 September 2005 19:55 (twenty years ago)

You wanna man with a slow-hand.

― PappaWheelie B.C., Friday, 30 September 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

do people still have them?

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Friday, 30 September 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

my dad has one.

― strng hlkngtn: what does it mean? (dubplatestyle), Friday, 30 September 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

one of my college roomates had one, just seeing the word "waterbed" sends me back to the 70s. only slept in it once, got the worst backache evah. can't attest to the er recreational enhancements, though I do remember being vaguely embarrassed by the thing "heh heh nudge winkwink" even then. eventually our landlord pointed out that the flimsy little house was about to collapse because the second-floor waterbed was so damn heavy. we moved it to the basement.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Friday, 30 September 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

My brother had one thru his teen years. What I remember most of all was the fact he had to peroidically drain the thing and refill it, and I just couldn't imagine how any bed experience could be worth that kind of hassle.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 30 September 2005 22:19 (twenty years ago)

http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/movie/about_schmidt/19.jpeg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 30 September 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

They are terrible if you need your own personal space for sleeping and your mate is a lot heavier than you. You keep sliding into their bed-gully. And the tidal waves when the heavy one gets in and out. AND the ordeal of siphoning out the water if you have to move it. DUD DUD DUD.
Memory foam or even regular foam is CLASSIC.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 30 September 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

oh, i think theyre fine. its not like youre rocking about all night on a pool pony in the neighbours above ground pool. the waterbeds ive been on have been pretty solid and, as sometime insomniac who needs to make snowangels (sheetangels?) to fall asleep, i imagine a lil rocking could only help speed up the process.

and, yes, the sleazy rep is appealing.

― sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (katharine), Friday, 30 September 2005 23:46 (twenty years ago)

Duddier than Bill Bennett- they're a bitch to move and useless for sex

― Morley Timmons (Donna Brown), Saturday, 1 October 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

I remember my uncle had one when I was a kid. Scared the shit out of me when I sat on it, and I never have done again. Awful, how would you even sleep?

Boners, classic or dud?

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Saturday, 1 October 2005 00:21 (twenty years ago)

I've known a few people who were longtime waterbed owners and they were just fanatical about them. whatever.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 1 October 2005 00:25 (twenty years ago)

I've never considered getting one. All of the drawbacks listed above make it pretty clear.

― jim wentworth (wench), Saturday, 1 October 2005 00:31 (twenty years ago)

I've never considered getting one. All of the drawbacks listed above make it pretty clear.

Boners, classic or dud?

― rogermexico (rogermexico), Saturday, 1 October 2005 00:34 (twenty years ago)

Dud, if you roll over and puncture your waterbed.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 1 October 2005 14:17 (twenty years ago)

You shouldn't have pierced your nipples with nails, then.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 1 October 2005 14:52 (twenty years ago)

dud. although i'm always fooled into thinking it's going to be really comfortable. another useless for sex vote, too. it's like trampoline sex.

― poortheatre (poortheatre), Saturday, 1 October 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

dud dud dud dud, almost as bad as trying to fuck on satin sheets, you just slide everywhere, and then when you try and sleep your pillows just slide out from under your head, it just aint cricket!!!!!!!!!! but they look good, summer time..........sweating in bed while fucking, on them sheets, its like ice skating, you just gotts try and stay still....but they look GOOD!! hahah

kinda like having a hotted up car but to insure it you could buy it two fold, the only reason we have it is because it looks good, haha nothing else :)

― rohan, Sunday, 2 October 2005 17:43 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

i think rohan is on the money

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 15:05 (twenty years ago)

almost as bad as trying to fuck on satin sheets, you just slide everywhere

I don't know about sleeping, but there are times when sliding everywhere while having sex is what one is actually going for.

Unless it's just me.

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 15:14 (twenty years ago)

you have to embrace the sleaziness. if i got one, i'd want it to be heart-shaped with a fat velvet headboard.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 18:31 (twenty years ago)

haha why did i say my dad had a waterbed?

― strongo hulkington is a guy with a belly button piercing (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 18:34 (twenty years ago)

1. My sister emptied, moved and refilled her waterbed. Hours later she asked if anyone had seen her cat. The bastard had climbed into the supports and gone unnoticed when the top was replaced. Her boyfriend's adrenaline-induced, super-human strength in response to her panic was still no match for the weight of the waterbed and they had to empty it AGAIN just to get the freaking cat out.

2. My waterbed was half emptied and we were running late for a night out, so my boyfriend had the (not so) bright idea to drag it to the edge of the balcony to speed up the process. The last thing I saw was his legs flung up in the air as the bladder sailed over the side like a magic carpet. At first I gasped in horror, imagining broken limbs, but when I peered over the edge, I collapsed laughing at the sight of him dripping wet from the burst bag and his disco gear covered in grass and leaves.

Verdict: massive DUD.

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 11 April 2006 22:28 (twenty years ago)

I disagree, your #2 is CLASSIC!!

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 22:43 (twenty years ago)

lauren's post reminds me that shiny fabrics are sometimes described as "sleazy," which a quick check of m-w shows is the first definition! (though they get it slightly wrong)

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 22:46 (twenty years ago)

Good point, at least it provided a classic image to still be laughing about years later.

― Hard like armour, Tuesday, 11 April 2006 22:55 (twenty years ago)

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