Most vulgar thing a teacher said during class in high school

At sixth form college (probably the equivalent of High School) my English teacher, on discovering that half the class hadn't done the required reading, shouted "If you haven't done your homework, just fuck off! Go on, get out! Fuck off!". (I cowardly pretended that I had done the reading, so I didn't fuck off).

We had this English teacher, now sadly passed away actually, at a very young age, Mr Leahy. He was a great teacher and a real obsessive, he'd write out notes all weekend and they'd be hard to read but full of brilliant stuff. Also he was a teacher above and beyond simple textbooks, if someone gave a tentative answer or didn't defend their answer he'd shout "NEVER APOLOGISE!" or something. He was the best.

Also he'd really savage anyone who tried to make fun of him, not in a mean way where he picked on less confident kids, the opposite in fact, he would make fun of thick rugby playing types etc, by literally saying "you won't be laughing when you get your results and your rich parents have to lie to your aunts and uncles" etc.

Anyway this one day this boy named JC said something about Mr Leahy's baldness or age, something a bit cheeky but not particularly offensive, JC was a big scruffy guy, who smelled really bad, he just had a brutish kind of image.

Anyway Mr Leahy just paused and said "John, you know there are numerous ways I could reply to your comment, many of them unacceptable. For instance, I could say something about............FAT IGNORANT FUCKERS"

It was so out of order but also hilarious. I think because JC had made the initial comment it was then sort of "banter" and the teacher felt he could get away with anything.

Unbelievable.

Doesn't quite count, but a film teacher once accidentally missaid "one of the interesting cuts in this film" so that it came out "one of the interesting cunts... er, cuts!"

My history teacher used to endlessly slag off his youngest son, calling him 'a bandit', and saying that he hadn't wanted him in the first place. He subsequently got the sack for participating in a bar room brawl. He was a wonderful teacher, though.

xpost - was it Basic Intstinct?

My Year 8 English teacher dropped the F bomb all the time. Someone's parents had obviously complained, so she came in to class one day and said "Now, I've been informed that someone has complained about the way I teach this class. As far as I'm concerned, you can go home and tell your parents that I'm a fucking bitch, but don't pretend that you don't use the fucking F word fifty times more often than I do when you do.". She also told me, after she caught me beating up a classmate, and hearing WHY I'd done it, that she would have done the same thing, only with more kicking in the balls.

(Compare and contrast with my year 9 teacher, who felt she had to send home a note requesting permission from parents to read a certain novel in class which featured the word "piss" in it).

My HS science teacher, whenever a girl correctly answered a question, would say "oh, a skirt got it right". Not to be confused with the guidance counselor who was caught fudging his daughter's grades so she could get into Francis Marion (the safetiest of all safety "colleges" in SCarolina).

My senior English teacher recounted a joke that involved leprechauns, pots of gold, bathrooms, and anal rape, all in a lovely Irish lilt.

In class, of course.

My eleventh grade teacher told us about men prostituting out their infant children, and men raping babies until the babies' guts were ripped out, because she felt that we "needed to know what was going on the world."

In middle school, our gym teacher was trying to give us a sort of sex-ed-type-talk and I can't remember how we got into this but she started to tell us the wonders of having sex "upside-down" (?) and she got this far-away look in her eyes and said that we couldn't even imagine how great it was... of course we couldn't, we were 13! I still wonder about that. It was pretty explicit for us at the time.

Maybe she was talking about the pildriver?

http://store1.yimg.com/I/sexualpositions_1837_7201589

When we were 15, my German teacher taught us how to say "ejaculate up my anus" in German. I've no idea why...

Was he from Rammstein?

It wasn't in class, and it's mild in comparison, but I was having a meeting with a professor to discuss the presentation I would be making for my art theory class, and he quoted an artist (Renoir? But maybe Picasso, I forgot) "I paint with my dick!" and I nearly fell off my chair.

not high school, but i had a "taboo" etymology class. the teacher, obviously, just spent the lecture saying "fuck, bollocks, cunt piss" etc etc. but giving origins etc.

That sounds like a lot of fun.

'the anus is a waste canal, not a love canal' - My Yr. 12 economics teacher after a student made some dumb gay joke.

'he's a fucking cunt' - My English teacher referring to said economics teacher in the middle of class one day.

when i was 12, our class teacher was a dude called mr woodruff, who also taught chemistry (his speciality: pouring soapy liquid into the gas taps, turning them on to produce great big bubbles, then lighting them with a splint). he used to call us all "kids".

one morning he swept into the classroom, sat down at his desk, looked straight up and said: "kids, very soon you're going to start getting into relationships and having sex. and let me tell you, it's the worst fucking thing you'll ever do. it'll bring you nothing but heartache and misery. enjoy your innocence while you can." then he jumped up again, without calling the register, and fucked off.

i must have subconsciously taken his advice to heart 'cos i didn't get laid for another seven years.

when i was teaching in singapore, a group of kids in my class used a certain hokkien exclamation in conversation all the time that sounds like "chee baie". thinking it was innocuous (particularly considering how strict singaporean teachers are, and given that they used it in front of me all the time). in a frankly obvious attempt to ingratiate myself, i used it in front of another class who were being very shy. jaws dropped, etc. turns out it loosely translates as "oh, cunt!!"