Does obeying minor rules basically make you a sucker?

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eg "keep off the grass", "5 items or less please", not driving in the bus lane etc etc.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

It means you respect other people/society.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:40 (twenty years ago)

With regard to checkouts and bus lanes, I'd say it means you're not a selfish twunk who thinks you're more important than everyone else in the world.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

Yes I think that too. But then I'm the one who ends up waiting for longer in the traffic or supermarket queue. I bet titans of business all took trolleys into the basket aisle when they were younger. :(

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

You do get fined for driving in bus lanes.

I think its about knowing when you're not being a twunt for breaking the rules.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

tom are you casting yourself as some sort of likeable romantic comedy underdog?

― _, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

On Sunday night we were at the bus stop with a load of other people. Bus came. Everyone gathers to board at the front. Except one group of lads who decide that they shouldn't have to wait with everyone else so they get on through the exit doors in the middle. The driver, somewhat admirably, calls them forward to show their passes, thus holding up the peopl at the front further, and two of the lads show their passes half-heartedly and unapologetically before carrying on upstairs.

So perhaps yes, to answer the question.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

I thought about this when Sarah was telling me about her work trip to Las Vegas, where all her coworkers were bragging about their techniques for jumping ahead of everyone else in the check-in line at the airport; i.e., "accidentally" getting in the wrong line, running to the front and saying that they were going to miss their flight, etc. It made me sad.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

http://www.moviemantz.com/review_shots/punchdrunklove.jpg http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/haebin/favorite/images/sayanything.jpg http://www.twitchfilm.net/pics/The-40-Year-Old-Virgin.jpg

― _, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

"Queuing is for Losers" was the advice passed on to his son by a man I used to work for.
He is the very rich Financial Director of an IT company now. Tom is right.

― Bidfurd__, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:49 (twenty years ago)

Minus the romantic bit yes! I feel more like Richard Briers today.

The root of the qn is how irritated I get when I see other people do this and I wonder if it's rational/sensible to get that annoyed or whether there's a component of envy in there too.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:50 (twenty years ago)

"But then I'm the one who ends up waiting for longer in the traffic"

Nothing turns me into a Falling Down-type psycho more than people who pass 17 signs on the motorway saying the lane they're in is closed ahead, speed past a huge queue of barely-moving cars, then force their way into the trafifc as the cones start closing in on their right.

And you only ever see people in giant family 4x4s or company car BMW-type wankermobiles doing it.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

breaking unenforced minor rules is one of lifes few pleasures

― _, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

...where all her coworkers were bragging about their techniques for jumping ahead of everyone else in the check-in line at the airport

Okay thanks. Now I really do hate the entire human race.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:55 (twenty years ago)

what example do you have in mind? xpost

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:56 (twenty years ago)

Hahahahaha I do this all of the time! I'm sure this surprises no one.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

(Except for the supermarket thing, that's punishable by death in my book.)

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:57 (twenty years ago)

(Queues are made to be jumped, though.)

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0f/HankHill.jpg/200px-HankHill.jpg
"You can't pick and choose which laws you want to obey. Sure, I'd like to tape a baseball game without the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but that's just not the way it works."

― _, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

Even if everyone obeyed supermarket queueing rules the result wouldn't be utopia it would be a marginally more efficient supermarket (and even then maybe not, it's possible the rule-breakers make the system more efficient).

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:58 (twenty years ago)

so taping baseball games was your example? xpost

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

how do you jump a queue at a supermarket anyway? i've never seen this happen or be attempted successfully.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:00 (twenty years ago)

no it was a joke based around a quote from a television show

― _, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

- Jumping lines to get into clubs: CLASSIC
- Jumping lines to get on amusement park rides: CLASSIC
- Jumping lines to get onto planes: CLASSIC
- Jumping lines to get seated at a restaurant: CLASSIC
- Jumping lines to get movie tickets before they sell out: CLASSIC

Lines suck.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

The supermarket thing is the 5-items, wide aisle, basket only stuff, not queuing, Steve.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

how do you manage to jump all these lines Dan?

also the thing about my gripe about boarding the bus through exit doors is that it's always a free-for-all to board at the front anyway. those guys were there before me so why am i bothered that they got on before me albeit through unorthodox method?

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:02 (twenty years ago)

i usually guilt trip old ladies by holding up my jar of peanut butter and 6-pack of miller lite to ask if i can skip ahead of their cart overloaded with sardines, bleach, fancy feast and pimento cheese spread

― _, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

dan otm as usual re: jumping lines - maybe we're both randians after all

― _, Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:03 (twenty years ago)

the secret isn't whether you obey or break the rules, it's knowing when to obey and when to break them

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

The supermarket thing is the 5-items, wide aisle, basket only stuff, not queuing, Steve.

"FOUR BOTTLES OF VODKA COUNTS AS ONE ITEM!"

― Fitz In That Amusing Scene From Cracker (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:04 (twenty years ago)

the wide aisle isn't really a restriction thing though is it?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

Dan, you would make a crap Englishman.

― RickyT (RickyT), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

The supermarket thing is the 5-items, wide aisle, basket only stuff, not queuing, Steve.
"FOUR BOTTLES OF VODKA COUNTS AS ONE ITEM!"

a pack of half dozen eggs would break the rule lol

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:05 (twenty years ago)

It never even occurs to me to jump lines really, to think of excuses or whatever. Even when I'm in a hurry in order to replace the battery that powers my halo.

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

Speaking as one who deals with lines as part of my work, if you try and jump the line, you won't get served. It's rather amusing to watch people realize this.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

No it isn't. It's a wheelchair thing. Shouldn't have included that one, obviously I have a subconscious desire to push into wheelchair queues.

xpost

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

Grrr argh - I was standing at the pedestrian crossing outside Holborn tube the other day, waiting for the lights to change, carrying my rucksack and a laptop. This big goon comes barging past me, practically knocking me over, saying "You're kinda gettin' in the way, mate", as he dashed across the road. I can jaywalk with the best of the them at times, but the way it seems mandatory to just run across the road at this junction, regardless of the right of way, infuriates me!

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

i agree with __ and dan in principle. i get stomped in all sorts of petty ways already, and you don't score any points for playing fair on the minor stuff.

i used to be a bit more play-fair.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

What is the point of jumping the line to get on the plane? THE PLANE IS NOT GOING TO LEAVE UNTIL EVERYONE IS ON IT, YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BE SITTING IN YOUR TINY 1 1/2 FOOT WIDE SEAT FOR AN EXTRA 20 MINUTES.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:12 (twenty years ago)

- Jumping lines at clubs: Simply join the line somewhere in the middle. Claim you know someone if challenged.
- Jumping lines at amusement parks: This is tricky. Usually it involves ducking a fence at a turn. You only want to do this once because people will totally call you out and get you booted from the park if you do this too much or too blatantly.
- Jumping lines to get on planes: Board when the call the first section of general boarding. 95% of the time you will not be challenged.
- Jumping lines to get seated at a restaurant: If there is a line at the host(ess) station, walk past it and ask for a table. The worst thing that will happen is that they'll ask you to stand in line, at which point you can smile sheepishly and apologize.
- Jumping lines to get movie tickets: See the amusement park strategy. The advent of ticket machines have made this particular pasttime almost completely unnecessary.

In general, if the line is roped off, ALWAYS duck the rope to get into line. You will cut off anyone who is walking into the line by following the queue path and the line does not actually start until you get behind the last person currently in it.

Dan, you would make a crap Englishman.

What if I stammered in a flustered and lovably endearing way as I cut people in line?

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

Hello "storing carry-on in overhead compartment", I'd like to introduce you to n/a.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:14 (twenty years ago)

because it's opposed to standing in a line for 20 minutes!! that extra 20 minutes on the plane gives you the time to put your luggage in the storage thing, and also, make sure that you set up your seat just right, so that you are taking up half of the next seat, so you have a more comfy flight at the expense of the latecomer who will be sitting next to you!!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

xpost to dan obv!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

The better solution might just be to pack light.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

Don't get me started on people who lug bags three times larger than what I've put in the hold into the cabin of a plane, then squeeze them into the overheads, taking up all the room...

It's just selfish, and there are few things I hate more in the world than selfish people. I just don't understand the whole "hey, if I can get away with it, what's the harm" thing.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

that's what makes you a sucker ned

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

ken if it was obvious, why write 'xpost'? ;)

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

Dan I fucking hate you.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

Ken: you're the one hauling the heavy luggage around, dude!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

I should probably stop reading this thread now.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 October 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 219 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

basically i think oyster cards shd be made to work in pubs. and supermarkets. and everywhere. simple.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

I accidentally crushed a woman's fingers on the train with my laptop bag the other day. It was one of those slow-motion other-people-are-pressing-me-into-this-pole-where-your-hand-happens-to-be-but-I'm-reading-a-book-and-listening-to-headphones-so-I-didn't-actually-notice-for-a-good-20-seconds things; I felt so mortified that I apologized (initiating conversation with strangers when I don't have to pretty much never happens because I am an oasis of navel-gazing). She clutched her hand and whimpered. I then shrugged because while I was being an ass for not paying attention, I wasn't purposely jamming bag into her hand and shouting "SUFFER, PIXIE GIRL! SUFFER MY UNHOLY BLACK WRATH!" Although maybe I should have, that would have been funny.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 13:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh man that would've been great.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

"SUFFER, PIXIE GIRL! SUFFER MY UNHOLY BLACK WRATH!"

hahahaha. Dan, what's a Nubian?

― kingfish neopolitan sundae (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

Not to get all chicken-soup-for-the-soul, but I try to balance my rage with the thought that I'm just adding more negative crap into the world if I flip out on someone, and that sometimes it's better to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Not too long ago I was stuck in traffic and this one douchebag just kept honking his horn. So I rolled down my window and yelled "YEAH, THANKS! THE HONKING IS REALLY HELPING THINGS HERE!" and the guy yelled back, "IT'S NOT ME, ASSHOLE!" What could I do? I was the asshole now.

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

That is pretty funny though.

― Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

Jesus, Dan! How heavy is your laptop? Were her fingers made of MERINGUE or something?
Hey! You were in my dream last night. You and your wife were among the people, including me, all spending the night in my late sister's derelict summer-house. You tried to ask me a question but it came out in unintelligible gibberish. I understood, though, that you were asking me "why are there religious hymns playing on the radio?" and I replied "That's just part of the programming. And by the way, I never told you how impressed I am by how much choral music you have memorized."

Sorry, long tangent. BACK TO PEOPLE WHO NEED TO BE KILLED.
God. I forgot.
I'll get back to you.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 14:19 (twenty years ago)

Queue jumping only allowed when everyone else is clearly wrong and you are right. In the WH Smith's in Edinburgh Waverley train station there used to be no barriers to guide the queue. Having used this shop a lot I knew (because staff would occasionally shout it out)that you were supposed to queue up behind each till rather than form one large queue that blocked access for others to the shop. So when there is one queue of 5 or 6 people what do you do, join it or march to nearest empty till. The latter of course because clearly no one else knows the rules and I am right.

― mms (mms), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Then god punished me by getting "Nice Guy Eddie" and "Tattva" in my head.

I refuse to believe that was the work of god -- only the devil calls forth Kula Shaker songs, as part of his punishment of a weary world.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 14:26 (twenty years ago)

i have no problem shoving aside people who try to get on subways and trains before letting the passengers off (i.e., me). fuck them.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

On the bus from La Guardia into Manhattan, which was packed to the gills, one woman was obliviously taking up two seats--not even with luggage or anything, just sitting in the outermost seat, not scooting over. I thought that was pretty cuntish. But it was funny to see this chode-like German conventionee in a yellow tee shirt get irate when he got accidentally softly jostled.

― emilys. (emilys.), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

Anyone ever worked up the gall to key a car (or SUV more likely) taking up two spaces? Whenever I see that, something in the back of my mind wants to puncture all four tires, but I successfully beat back my primal urges.

Back in my more passive-aggressive days, I'd pull their windshield wipers into the "up" position. Comepletely harmless, but also completely violating.

Besides the fact that it was a ninny thing to do, I also stopped doing that when I realized that IT DIDN'T SOLVE A DAMN THING.

(So I started unscrewing their gas caps....)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:41 (twenty years ago)

I was in the supermarket one day and a woman just came up to me and said "do you mind if I go in front of you? I'm in a hurry." I was in such a bad mood that I pointed to the queue of people behind me and said "we're all in a hurry too. Sorry." She looked really pissed off. Fuck her.
The key is to be charitable as often as you can stand it to the people carrying one or two items. Then you have perfect license to say no at other times. It's like letting people enter the main road from a side-street. You let a few in, deny a few. Certain vehicles you ALWAYS deny entrance. The middle-aged guys in their fucking sports cars. They can languish at the stop sign all fucking day, thankyouverymuch. Ditto huge disgusting SUVs.

One should always publicly scold people who are rude to retail workers. The worker would get in trouble, but you, as a fellow shopper, can vent wrath at will. Once this woman at the market brought a pound of butter to the register but only wanted a stick. She asked the incredibly busy cashier to return the rest of the pound to the dairy case! This while her husband was loitering around with his thumb up his ass! I was very severe.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 26 October 2005 17:45 (twenty years ago)

One should always publicly scold people who are rude to retail workers.

As a retail worker myself, I concur wholeheartedly. Although I received a complaint from a customer on Monday who considered my shouting at my volunteers to be appalling. The volunteer in question is 82 and had accidentally put her hearing aid in the spin cycle at the weekend, so I had to shout at her or we'd have got nothing done all morning. But customers aren't to know those things.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 27 October 2005 07:27 (twenty years ago)

Tim very much OTM re: pubcraft. I often have deffer to others at bars as I have certain distictive aura and pleasant smile about me that tends to get me noticed by bar staff. Chip and Pin I think is allieviating debit card woes at the bar, however skill in use of the little wireless machines and the placing of them does affect their performance. Oyster cards should of course be accepted in place of all cash transactions.

Also Pubs: cash-registers: many on the front bar or fewer on the back bar, which is better.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 27 October 2005 07:34 (twenty years ago)

Dud, dud, dud: asking the barman to serve the person next to you because they were there first, which they do, but when they're done, they go serve somebody at the opposite end of the bar and forget all about you!

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 27 October 2005 08:12 (twenty years ago)

One should always publicly scold people who are rude to retail workers.

I once called someone a cunt for patronising a kebab shop worker. Fortunately, he was as posh and cowardly as me and didn't kick my face in. I was the moral victor there, I felt.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 27 October 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

"asking the barman to serve the person next to you because they were there first, which they do, but when they're done, they go serve somebody at the opposite end of the bar and forget all about you!"

The Goose opposite Brixton station is very bad for that.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 27 October 2005 09:32 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

What happens when you disobey minor rules: harsh, but fair, methinks...

A motorist who wrongly parked in a disabled bay had his throat slashed by a genuine disabled driver.

Recovering hospital patient David Williams, 49, was furious when he could not find a disabled parking space in a Tesco supermarket car park.

He spotted shopper Christopher Barrell sitting in his car in a disabled bay - and saw there there was no disabled sticker on his windscreen.

Williams jumped out and shouted at Mr Barrell, 42, who called back: "Sorry, I won't be long." But a court today heard Williams pulled out a four-inch lock knife to slash Mr Barrell across the throat.

Prosecutor Harry Baker said: "Mr Barrell was sitting in the front seat of his car in a Tesco car park.

"He was parked in a disabled space.

"Williams reached into the car and slashed Mr Barrell's throat.
"Alarmingly he went back to his car, lit a cigarette and waited 30 minutes for his wife to arrive."

Former civil servant Williams had a genuine disabled sticker for himself, his wife and his son who are all registered disabled.

Williams was arrested after police viewed CCTV footage and found Mr Barrell's blood on his lock-knife.

He told police Mr Barrell had been "cheeky" but claimed he could not remember the attack.

Married father-of-one Williams, from Newport, Gwent, admitted causing actual bodily harm and having a bladed weapon in public.

Cardiff Crown Court heard his medical problems included depression and treatment for psychiatric illness.

Simon Goodman, defending, said: "His memory of the incident is completely blank." Judge Roderick Denyer told him: "If you put a knife to a person's neck there is a serious risk of killing them.

"Your wife and son are also disabled and you have to care for them.

"If I locked you up it would have a devastating effect on them." Williams was given an 18 month jail sentence suspended for 18 months

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 16 January 2006 11:55 (twenty years ago)

incredible

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 16 January 2006 12:09 (twenty years ago)

Imagine what would happen if you were in front of him in the 10 items or less queue with 11 things in your basket...

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 16 January 2006 12:30 (twenty years ago)

whats a minor rule?

parking in a disabled bay is a minor rule?

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:13 (twenty years ago)

fuck!

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:14 (twenty years ago)

what was his disability?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:15 (twenty years ago)

'stop being so bloody selfish or we'll stab ya' may be just the message that needs to be sent out to get society back on track.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:15 (twenty years ago)

He was being treated for depression. So am I, and I wasn't aware it meant I needed to park closer to the supermarket. Also, I should note for people who see me at FAPs and so on that I do not carry a knife or any other weapon and have never attempted to kill anyone except myself.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:35 (twenty years ago)

his wife and son had physical disabilities, maybe?

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:36 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, surely you don't get a disability sticker for depression?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:37 (twenty years ago)

I don't get it. Why did he kill him then leave the car filling up the space? It could have been his!

― melton mowbray (adr), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:43 (twenty years ago)

He didn't kill him, just caused a bit of ABH.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:45 (twenty years ago)

Why did he kill him then leave the car filling up the space?
That's precisely what keeps me from mounting a cannon on the front of my car...

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:46 (twenty years ago)

Oh, I see! So what happened to Mr Barrel then? Did he drive home, or just wind the windows up and lock the doors?

The article's really confusing as to what actually happened. When Mr Stabby went back to his car, did he move it into the disabled space or was he in a normal space already?

― melton mowbray (adr), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:54 (twenty years ago)

I want to know where dude parked while he slashed the guy.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 16 January 2006 14:20 (twenty years ago)

He probably just put his hazards on, that's what I do when I pop out for a quick slash.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Monday, 16 January 2006 14:23 (twenty years ago)

*applause*

― beanz (beanz), Monday, 16 January 2006 14:25 (twenty years ago)

I dunno, sounds ok to me. You want to park in the disabled space? Here's a disability for ya!

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Monday, 16 January 2006 14:25 (twenty years ago)

Although I am at one extreme of the impatience scale, I never go into the wrong supermarket queue but if a cashier opens up a new till I give other shoppers almost no time to act before I sidle over for service. I am fairly tolerant of people in front of me who remember they forgot things once queued and never give them shit for grabbing the butter they forgot, or whatever.

Bars in America: less likely to tell the barman another person is next (unless the person is cute and I'm interested). The barman is working for tips, after all, and will ignore drinkers who've tipped low or forgotten to do so. The only way to tell if you're a good tipper in the US is to see how fast you get served for the second round.

Bars and pubs in Britain: in my local, I am next unless there is another regular looking hopeful and I've spotted them or whatever. Anywhere else, the bar staff are good at this discernment but I do tell them when others have been waiting longer.

Clubs: usually on guestlist so the first port of call is the door itself (if the person who invited me is on the door I get straight in). If I am then directed to a heaving guestie queue I do not mind so much.

Airplanes/ports: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY. Last journey featured slothlike Americans who had not been to Gatwick before. In some cases, Minneapolis cyclist style, I have been known to call out "on your left" while speedwalking by at 25 MPH.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 16 January 2006 14:29 (twenty years ago)

Some bastard has dumped their car in my drive since before Christmas. The police aren't interested and neither are the local council as it qualifies as 'private land' - and the only advice they can give me is to try to contact the owner and persuade to move it.

It's looking like I am going to have to pay to get it towed away.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:05 (twenty years ago)

Can't you arrange it so the owner pays the tow company when he goes to get his car back? I've had my car towed twice and both times I seem to recall being the one to pay the fees.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:09 (twenty years ago)

Cut the handbrake wire and roll it away. Seriously.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:10 (twenty years ago)

See if you can borrow a floor jack or some car casters and move it out into the street. The cops will care then...

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:13 (twenty years ago)

Moving it into the street looks good.

The tow company lost interest when they heard it was currently untaxed - I guess they think they are unlikely to be paid by the owner.

― Bob Six (bobbysix), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:16 (twenty years ago)

Alternatively, see if there's a way you can claim it as your property after it's been left on your private land for a certain amount of time. Free car!

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:17 (twenty years ago)

to be a car-clamping person, you don't need a licence or anything. you just go and buy a clamp. you don't need the sign saying "no parking or your car will be clamped and you will be charged £4757934 to get it freed" to be visible, it just has to be there, in whatever state of disrepair. this i remember from a programme about clampers a couple of years ago. (the sign doesn't even need to be up before the car is parked, if the clamping people's behaviour at reading festival a few years ago is anything to go by.) mahybe that's an option. one of the student papers did a picture guide of how to get your car out of a clamp around the same time...

― emsk ( emsk), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:17 (twenty years ago)

Clubs: usually on guestlist so the first port of call is the door itself

Oooooohh! La-de-da.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:39 (twenty years ago)

not quite

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 16 January 2006 16:41 (twenty years ago)

The law relating to clamping recently changed to tackle cowboy clamper firms. You have to have a licence now.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Monday, 16 January 2006 17:09 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

Hahaha this thread was awesome.

― Dan (LOLz) Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 23:22 (twenty years ago)

http://www.twistedjim.com/pics/img/precious_roy.gif

― Yawn (Wintermute), Wednesday, 15 March 2006 23:37 (twenty years ago)

fourteen years pass...

https://i.imgur.com/44tFNQQ.jpg

― Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 15:19 (six years ago)

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