Doom: Don't see it!

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just sayin.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 04:32 (twenty years ago)

i heard ebert likened it to watching someone else play a videogame for 2 hours.

― Peter Densmore (pbnmyj), Saturday, 29 October 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

I do enjoy the game, but it wasn't exactly crying out for a cinematic treatment. I mean, the beauty of the game is its simplicity, refreshingly devoid of any deep plot. I fear the movie adheres to closely to this.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 04:53 (twenty years ago)

this is the worst film ever

― captain crunchyfarts, Saturday, 29 October 2005 05:42 (twenty years ago)

Worst film ever? I saw the remake of Stepford Wives. I can't imagine it being worse than that.

― Alan Conceicao (Alan Conceicao), Saturday, 29 October 2005 06:09 (twenty years ago)

Stepford Wives at least had a funny scene or two. Doom is just one long joyless slog of a movie. Absolutely nothing in it is compelling interesting, or entertaining. Even the monsters and FX suck. Adding insult to injury, they even changed the monsters from the demons that were in the game to your typical genetic mutants/zombie/whatevers. The demons-from-hell angle was the one thing the movie could've used to distinguish itself from other monsters-run-amok-in-space-flicks. But no, the screenwriters decided to settle for unoriginality on every single possible level. And its not even at least dumbly entertaining like, say Alien vs Predator.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 06:16 (twenty years ago)

I can't remember laughing during Stepford Wives, except at all the wrong times for all the wrong reasons. Does Doom just straight up insult your intelligence and disregard plot? Plus it has The Rock. He's mildly entertaining in everything he's been in. He was the one nonsucky thing in Be Cool.

― Alan Conceicao (Alan Conceicao), Saturday, 29 October 2005 06:22 (twenty years ago)

They made a film of "Doom"? Hahahahahahahahahhahahahaahaha awesome (ok, maybe not)

link to trailer/clips plz.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 29 October 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

Is a warning not to see this movie really necessary? If you thought about seeing it you have already failed.

― Freddie (freddie), Saturday, 29 October 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

FINALLY! THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO ILE!

Latebloomer, you roody-poo jabroni, The Rock says that you're one piece of shit! DOOM is the greatest film ever, even better than that roody-poo Citizen Kane, because it is...THE PEOPLE'S MOVIE! Just because you visit those arthouse cinemas with your strudel-eatin' pals, doesn't mean you know shit! The Rock says he's the greatest actor alive and if you got a problem with that then maybe The Rock will lay the smackdown on your candy ass!

IF YA SMEELLLLLLLLALALALA WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!, Saturday, 29 October 2005 10:45 (twenty years ago)

Esteban otm! I can't wait for this film.

― melton mowbray (adr), Saturday, 29 October 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php?date=2004-12-08

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Saturday, 29 October 2005 11:42 (twenty years ago)

I haven't seen this, but I suspect the Rock should take it, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and . . .

― J (Jay), Saturday, 29 October 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

http://media.filmforce.ign.com/media/490/490104/vids_1.html

Doom trailer here. They even have those first-person-putting-on-a-chainsaw shots. And the bit where it's difficult to walk through doors.

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Saturday, 29 October 2005 11:51 (twenty years ago)

Is a warning not to see this movie really necessary? If you thought about seeing it you have already failed.

-- Freddie (freddi...), October 29th, 2005.

you got me there:-/

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

This movie was one of the most fun experiences I've had in a movie theatre this year. GO SEE IT.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Saturday, 29 October 2005 11:57 (twenty years ago)

how is it fun? i'd rather staple my balls to an acid-covered missile headed straight for the heart of the sun before i'd watch this movie again.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:02 (twenty years ago)

You go right ahead and do that; I'lll be over here watching people mutant into freakazoid monsters that like killing asshat space Marines.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

there was wayyyyyy too much half-baked human melodrama in this movie and not enough of the monsters kiling asshat space marines.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:11 (twenty years ago)

What human melodrama???? 80% of the movie involved people creeping through corridors and going "ohshit" and dying/killing something.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:12 (twenty years ago)

this movie totally had a license to be plotless but chose the route of attempting warmth with the unecessary brother-sister-dead parents subplot.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

i dunno, the monsters sucked so bad maybe my mind was wandering throughout and focused on those parts.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

i was slightly drunk when i saw it....

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

BUT, not drunk enough to know i was seeing a crap movie!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

*to not know, i mean.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

So do they have to find the red, yellow and blue keys then? And do you get the bit where they have to blast themselves backwards off the wall with the rocket launcher to get into the little enclosed space where you find the switch to get you into the secret level, or what?

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

hahah no, that would've made it more entertaining! there is a sequence towards the end where the main character uses a health pack, which serves as the segue into the first-person sequence, which is just like howv you'd imagine Doom: The Ride to look.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

Did they ever do a Duke Nukem movie?

― Matt #2 (Matt #2), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

if they ever do a duke nukem movie it must have ROWDY RODDY PIPER involved

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!, Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

this movie totally had a license to be plotless but chose the route of attempting warmth with the unecessary brother-sister-dead parents subplot.

You're complaining about the non-contiguous five minutes spent establishing the justification for the first-person sequence????

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Saturday, 29 October 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

yes.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:07 (twenty years ago)

So basically the twenty lines of dialogue they put into the script to keep it from being an incoherent impossible-to-follow mess ruined the movie for you???

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:11 (twenty years ago)

wha? no, the brother-sister crap. plus, the retarded martians with 24 chromosomes thing.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:13 (twenty years ago)

why couldnt they do demons from hell? that would've been more fun. plus the monsters looked awful! easily stan winston's worst work ever.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:15 (twenty years ago)

the martian-supermen-with-extra-chromosome thing was just the screenwriter's way of showing his contempt for the audience by implying that people who paid for a ticket to this movie have Down's Syndrome.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

The key here is that Dan sees Doom as a pretty good approximation for everyday existence in Boston.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

the brother-sister crap = the twenty lines of dialogue they put into the script to keep it from being an incoherent impossible-to-follow mess

I couldn't possibly care less about the chromosome thing.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

i wouldn't even care either if the film had entertained me!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

esteban is showing much sense on this thread

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:36 (twenty years ago)

The key here is that Dan sees Doom as a pretty good approximation for everyday existence in Boston.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), October 29th, 2005.

Doom 2: Bloodbath in Beantown, aka The Boston Massacre Redux

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 29 October 2005 13:57 (twenty years ago)

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/8477/rockdoomtds7hg.jpg

― kingfish orange creamsicle (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 29 October 2005 15:16 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I agree with everything Esteban says here. How can this movie be that bad, it has The Rock in it!

― dar1a g (daria g), Saturday, 29 October 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

Fucking terrible movie. How many different ways can you show people walking down corridors? Not even zombies could make this movie worth watching.

― scrimhaw1837 (son_of_scrimshaw), Sunday, 30 October 2005 03:28 (twenty years ago)

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