Crap!! No Candy! - Advice for the new American.

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Its Halloween. I've run out of m&m's. No more candy to be found. Car accidents all over the place because of rain so I'm not going out. Tell this new American: WHAT DO I DO NOW????? I have a feeling these little bastards are going to kill me.

― sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (katharine), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 00:52 (eighteen years ago) link

Hand out eggs. Kids love eggs.

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 00:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Go out and toilet paper your house to save the pissed-off kids the effort.

― lyra (lyra), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 00:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Give em a dollar.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:07 (eighteen years ago) link

Apple slices are a big hit if you draw little eyes on them and give them little arms and legs made out of toothpicks or pins!

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Throw together a quick makeshift ghost costume out of a sheet. Do a little trick or treating. Redistribute.

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:12 (eighteen years ago) link

In other trick or treat geniousry: I "saw" a family waiting to cross the street. Mother and three kids, all dressed like witches. Very cute! All dressed in black. At 6:45pm. Here's a fun Halloween gag: Jump out from behind a tree and scare that guy in the car!

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:13 (eighteen years ago) link

Tell the kids "Trick!" and steal their candy bags.

― Dan (Excruciating Back Pain) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:14 (eighteen years ago) link

Fish sticks with orange & black frosting can be convincingly spooky.

― andy --, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Seriously, I'm glad you're getting trick or treaters. With all the fear and paranoia in the country now, it's a wonder it wasn't banned.

All the horror stories about razor blades etc. are total myth, yet they get perpetuated every generation. I know of no one that has ever been harmed intentionally, though I was regrettably involved in egging young children in my callous youth.

― andy --, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:18 (eighteen years ago) link

Dress up as a vampire, then when they knock on the door, open it and hiss at them! They will run screaming and never return plus it'll give them a cool story to tell in the playground.

― moley, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:23 (eighteen years ago) link

what about pills? better than candy and just as purty!

ps ive been hiding in the bedroom with all the lights off calling my australian peeps 'im hiding in the bedroom! there are children everywhere! heeeelp!' Its quite effective. Noone has rung the doorbell for a good 20 minutes.

― sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (katharine), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 01:57 (eighteen years ago) link

Give 'em your loose change. When that's gone, move on to any office supplies and trinkets you've got laying around. Or, go the conehead route and hand out fried eggs and beer. Or, rurn out all the lights and don't answer the door.

Last year, we were in a neighborhood with many kids and so bought lots of candy. Not one trick-or-treater appeared. This year, we are in a different, but still kid-populated neighborhood - so far at 6 pm, we've had two goblins show up. We did scale back on the candy purchasing this year, but by the looks of things we won't run out.

― Jaq (Jaq), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:03 (eighteen years ago) link

turn off front lights, don't make house look inviting. parents get the hint.
unless you get teenagers. then good luck, nothing will deter them. teenagers are assholes.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:06 (eighteen years ago) link

You have to go down into the bomb shelter.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:19 (eighteen years ago) link

I am in this situation too. I think we have three tofutti cuties in the freezer, but that's it. I'm already terrified of Berkeley schoolkids as it is.

In other news, I saw a hot lady dressed as a sexy witch on MLK.

― F.R.I.E.N.D. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't think the King estate would approve.

― Dan (Fun With Grammar) Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Go and ask a neighbor if they might have some treats to spare.

― jim wentworth (wench), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:52 (eighteen years ago) link

unless you get teenagers. then good luck, nothing will deter them. teenagers are assholes.

-- nein Socken (sometimes_...) (webmail), Today 8:06 PM. (nein Socken) (later)

nah, teenagers are easy. ill just give them cigarettes.

― sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (katharine), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:56 (eighteen years ago) link

OH I'm a new(ish) American , too! A drunk one!

― F.R.I.E.N.D. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:58 (eighteen years ago) link

xpost to adam:

earlier today i saw some dead foxy goth fairy chicks (wings and all) walking through the store i work at. the guys with them were boring.

― sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight) (katharine), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 02:58 (eighteen years ago) link

I came home and sunny was hiding in the bedroom. I didn't put two and two together until the doorbell rang and I realized that fuck, there's no candy!

So I gave them packets of Kool-Aid. My dear wife says that the parents will think that I'm trying to recruit a cult.

(To which I reply OH YEAH!)

Anyway. Those were the final trick-or-treaters.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 04:44 (eighteen years ago) link

i had the lights out on the porch and in the front room until the roommates came home. they eventually brought candy, but we haven't had shit for trick or treaters on our street.

― kingfish orange creamsicle (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 05:05 (eighteen years ago) link

Jersey City is weird - it seems that kids just don't ring your doorbell unless you have decorations and lights on. And mostly the younger kids seem to just go into the stores and businesses. I imagine it's some kind of a safety thing. I stocked up on candy and didn't get a single trick or treater in spite of tons of kids out.

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 05:09 (eighteen years ago) link

you gotta put pumpkins an shit out on your steps or they won't come near. your house gots ta say HAPPY HALLOWEEN KIDS I AINT HARM YOU

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 05:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Nah dogg, from one aussie to another, turn out the porch light. My american friends (including my better half) tell me that will stop the hordes.

― Mike Stuchbery (Mike Stuchbery), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 05:19 (eighteen years ago) link

When they knock at your door and chorus "Trick Or Treat!!" you have to say "Treat, please!" and then take all their candy from them. Not enough people realise that this is how it is supposed to work.

― C J (C J), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 09:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Dress up in a costume and trick or treat for half an hour. Then you'll have some candy.

― Googley Asearch (Toaster), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 10:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Actually that idea is probably too late now. You'd look a bit weird trick or treating on November 1st. You might not get any candy.

― Googley Asearch (Toaster), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 10:29 (eighteen years ago) link

No candy for you!

― moley, Tuesday, 1 November 2005 10:35 (eighteen years ago) link

An idea for next year - do it yourself mini jack-o-lantern kit. An orange with a carving tool - you'll want to stick the carving tool deep into the orange so that the two don't get separated.

― when something smacks of something (dave225.3), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 12:53 (eighteen years ago) link

mr teeny bought five big bags of candy when he came home, but it was kinda late (like 7) and nobody came. I got home at 8 and then we got our first group, he gave them an entire bag of candy. For some reason I found this really adorable. Those kids are going to be puking for days.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 19:18 (eighteen years ago) link

We went through 5 bags of candy last night! My neighborhood was teeming with young Darth Vaders.

― So so Krispie (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 19:22 (eighteen years ago) link

are kids getting a lot greedier.

we had a tin of chocolate, and only 4 kids came round (it's a quiet area), but they each grabbed a huge handful of the chocolate and left the tin empty

kids these days eh?

― jellybean (jellybean), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 19:34 (eighteen years ago) link

a tin?

― sexyDancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 19:53 (eighteen years ago) link

I just hand the candy out one at a time, or I would never have enough for all of the kids that came by. There had to be at least 100.

― So so Krispie (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 19:56 (eighteen years ago) link

i successfully trick or treated every year until i was 26 years old.

and there was only one instance that i helped myself to most of the entire basket of candy that some naive bastard left on their stoop with a note that read "PLEASE TAKE ONE! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 20:02 (eighteen years ago) link

next time, s.s./p.p, call for back up! - we have a ton of candy left.

― ai lien (kold_krush), Tuesday, 1 November 2005 22:51 (eighteen years ago) link

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.