ILX: help me date!!!!

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kia ora. so i been hanging out with this girl em a bit. she makes me swoon. she took me on a fantastic date the other night, showed up at my house with a CORSAGE!!! we went ten pin bowling and she took me for a scenic drive around mt grand, and down a secluded road where we *cough* made out and the dashing lady introduced me to the pleasures of smoking tobacco from a pipe.

so now its my turn to take her on a date. this is a new experience for me because new zealanders generally don't date thus i have no idea about etiquette and what is appropriate for a second date. i was thinking of a mid afternoon date, maybe take her out to broad bay (how appropriate for a pair of broads like us harhar) for a picnic. there is a cute little beach at broad bay that is quite appropriate for swimming so i thought maybe i should suggest she bring her bathing suit just in case - is that a good idea? and then go for a drive on the hills overlooking the peninsula and find another appropriately secluded place to chill and take in the views.

how does this sounds to you guys? if it stinks, i welcome suggestions :-) and if any of you are gay, please give me advice about whether i should bring her a corsage or what? i don't know if it means anything but she's a little more butch than me...

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:35 (twenty years ago)

I think your idea sounds great! Bathing suit thing definitely, unless for some reason she hates swimming. Pack simple but yummy things for picnic, and definitely like wine or something like that depending on what you prefer. Re: the corsage, I personally wouldn't do that because she already did it and I wouldn't want her to think I was just doing it because I felt I "had" to, you know? I don't know how to explain it better than that. So maybe some other kind of typical romanticy silly trinket, like candy or a few roses in a vase? NO stuffed animals ever though, unless you're 100% certain she really wants a stuffed animal AND she has no other stuffed animal. I've ended up with so many stuffed animals when really I'd have preferred candy.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:42 (twenty years ago)

Sounds perfect. But then I'm a single male who never dated, so what do I know...

The swimsuit request could be the thing that changes the afternoon from something spontaneous into something planned, I don't know if that could dampen her spirits. She could find your planning ways great, she could also find it annoying.

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:43 (twenty years ago)

they don't date in new zealand?

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:44 (twenty years ago)

smokes a pipe? very butch.

i like ally's picnic idea. Maybe bake some cookies or something.

― Miss Misery xox (MissMiseryTX), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:45 (twenty years ago)

What on earth *is* a corsage?

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:46 (twenty years ago)

a small dog

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:46 (twenty years ago)

like a terrier but with no fur

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:47 (twenty years ago)

ooh yeah bringing something you made is a good idea.

Is the activity supposed to be a surprise? I didn't know.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:47 (twenty years ago)

(those "planned/not planned" concerns: because that first date sounded so spontaneous and yours suddenly feels, dunno, maybe a little scripted with the picnic and swimming, but picnics and swimming are also romantic, so I don't actually... *flees, returns to his single non-romancing ways and feels sorry for replying*)

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:47 (twenty years ago)

What on earth *is* a corsage?

http://www.chinfo.navy.mil/navpalib/ships/carriers/histories/cv33-kearsarge/kear660705cvs.jpg

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:49 (twenty years ago)

planned is good and spontaneous is good, both of them are good as long as there is a mix!!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:50 (twenty years ago)

It's a metal spoon dipped in butter.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:50 (twenty years ago)

why is it your turn to take her on a date? she sounds like quite an old-fashioned girl, maybe she wants to be the full-on butch?

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:51 (twenty years ago)

i had the same question as teeny

i thought maybe i should suggest she bring her bathing suit just in case

if this is something she'd be comfortable with, which might be a question, i think the suggestion would be mysterious, which is probably good

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:53 (twenty years ago)

i don't think there's anything wrong with something planned. it's the kind of plan that you could just as well depart from for something spontaneous, but planning is nice in its own way because it shows a bit of thought & concern.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:56 (twenty years ago)

Your ideas sound great, Di - they will take a lot of improving on, I think. If you're worried about it seeming overly planned, that can be muted by the phrasing - there's a difference between "And you must pack a) 1 x swimming costume, female..." and "I thought maybe we might go to the beach, so do you wanna throw some sort of swimming costume in your bag or something?"

No corsage, but some flowers are fine, or some other little thing - perhaps a crush tape, even! One doubt in my mind, quite a small one: my experience of lesbian dating is, you'll be shocked to hear, slight, but I have known butcher women who like to be the ones taking charge and giving gifts, and the more femme woman should shut up and accept all this. I've no idea if that is a possible issue here, but your mentioning it made me wonder. (xpost with Teeny)

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:59 (twenty years ago)

I agree w/Ally about the corsage.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 13 January 2006 21:59 (twenty years ago)

Corsage = wee bunch of flowers like what American girls get from their prom dates and what us girls over here wear to weddings.

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:00 (twenty years ago)

Or don't mention swimming suits at all? Then when you're near the water you could suggest going for a swim - if she replies "but we don't have our swimming suits" then ok, maybe next time. If she replies "great!" and goes for the skinny dipping, then you know how liberated she is and how comfortable she feels around other naked bodies without necessarily thinking about Other Acts That Could Be Performed With Bodies That Are Naked.

Just brainstorming here, though.

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:04 (twenty years ago)

well me and em have been swimming together before so its an activity i know she enjoys, and you know, the swimming isn't a must-do activity, just if the water looks particularly inviting, you know. em isn't full-on butch, just slightly, you know, athletic and sometimes performs as a drag king. but shes a bit femmy sometimes. like girly makeup and cute little hair ties and long skirts. i suspect quite a bit of forethought went into her date so i don't think she minds planning too much.

thanks heaps for the prompt responses guys. ally i'm happy for ANY excuse not to have to bring a corsage, and i LOVE sam's baking cookies suggestion, i'll def use that. this is gonna be so fun!!!

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:05 (twenty years ago)

I know a lesbian named Em, but she lives in Perth.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:08 (twenty years ago)

em lived in melbourne last year, interestingly enough, but em ain't her full name. can someone attract j3ann3 fury's attention onto my thread???

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:10 (twenty years ago)

yeah i'm pretty sure she wants me to take her on a date this time around, when i hung out with her last night i mentioned wanting to see her before sunday and she replied that the ball is in my court.

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:12 (twenty years ago)

Doesn't look as if Jeanne is online just now.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:13 (twenty years ago)

haha, I just made myself laugh by imagining that you are wanting to ask Jeanne "What exactly do... lesbians DO together, you know?"

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:13 (twenty years ago)

they don't date in new zealand?

dating seems to be something new zealanders shy away from, at least when we're young. think we generally find the idea of dating quite formal. we're more into hanging out.

xpost haha geez oh i'm such a novice

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:19 (twenty years ago)

Hey, main point: you like her, you had a good time on the first one, she wants to do it again, she likes you, you're great - good luck, but I bet you don't need luck or, in all honesty, our uninformed advice.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 13 January 2006 22:22 (twenty years ago)

Cookies are just genius as gifts! Don't suggest swimsuit, StanM is right.

Martin is OTM. Just enjoy it and the date sounds lovely. Have fun!

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Saturday, 14 January 2006 14:36 (twenty years ago)

Good god, I haven't been on a date in ages, so seriously, if my crush asked me to go desk-shopping at Ikea, I'd be there in a hot minute. Clearly, I'm not the one you should be asking advice from. But congrats on landing a sweetie!

― Je4nn3 ƒur¥ (Je4nne Fury), Saturday, 14 January 2006 16:04 (twenty years ago)

sorry je4nn3, shouldn't have put you in the role of spokeslesbian of ilx. as for the date, about the only thing that went as planned was the cookies! the weather turned and we ended up just driving around the peninsula and picnicing in the backseat of the triumph. but we had a wonderful, wonderful time anyway. consider me smitten! and thanks again for all the great advice :-)

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Saturday, 14 January 2006 23:00 (twenty years ago)

aw, I am smiling. Good luck!

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 14 January 2006 23:10 (twenty years ago)

"picnicing" in the back seat of the car! Traditional, romantic and hott! Brings a tear to me eye.

― truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 15 January 2006 00:31 (twenty years ago)

we ended up just driving around the peninsula

But the peninsula being so beautiful, all is well, in rain or out of it. Rah! :-) (I am sorry I didn't check this thread earlier for I feared it was from a Foolish Person and not the good Ms. Di.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 15 January 2006 00:35 (twenty years ago)

Lucy, do you live in Auckland or Wellington? My awesome friend/coworker is going to NZ for a year on a work visa....she is going to be traveling a lot but will end up in one of those cities, I forget which, the liberal, artsy one--is that Wellington? Maybe you could show her around?

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 15 January 2006 04:37 (twenty years ago)

Ooh I wish this was made into a movie so I could watch it. :-)

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Sunday, 15 January 2006 05:09 (twenty years ago)

hey mary!!! your friend would do well to live in wellington, it is indeed the liberal artsy city and its also brimming with employment opportunities, probably cos its our capital. its also a hang of a lot prettier and friendlier than auckland. unfortunately i live in dunedin which is on a completely separate island to wellington and auckland :-(. but if your friend ever comes to dunedin to visit i would be happy to meet her and show her around. i will talk to some of my wellington contacts tho, and see if they can help out. when does your friend arrive here?

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Monday, 16 January 2006 02:18 (twenty years ago)

So, it went well, great!!!

Also, I'm very proud of you all: "new zealanders generally don't date" did not lead to any sheep jokes! (yet)

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 16 January 2006 07:00 (twenty years ago)

I could start the jokes now if you like...

Good to hear all well. Cookies for all HURRAH!

― Kv_nol (Kv_nol), Monday, 16 January 2006 12:37 (twenty years ago)

Hi Lucy,

I knew the ILX/NZ massive lived in Dunnedin, but I thought I read recently that you were elsewhere; perhaps you were just there for a short while, or perhaps I hallucinated the whole thing?

My friend leaves at the beginning of February, but I think plans to hike and travel and etc before settling down in some type of coffee shop job.... Thanks for your help--may I give her your e-mail, and is this a good e-mail to reach you at?

― Mary (Mary), Monday, 16 January 2006 19:08 (twenty years ago)

ha i think someone on the mongrel/sheepfuXor thread beat you guys to the sheep jokes, after i mentioned the sheep baaing at us on our first date. hrm.

yeah mary i was in welly for a few weeks, and i fell in love with the place. feel free to pass on my address, smidi194ATstudentDOTotagoDOTacDOTnz.

― awesome is as awesome does (lucylurex), Monday, 16 January 2006 22:27 (twenty years ago)

ha i think someone on the mongrel/sheepfuXor thread beat you guys to the sheep jokes

we're nothing if not predictable!

― chips rofflety (haitch), Monday, 16 January 2006 22:31 (twenty years ago)

five years pass...

i'm going out friday with a girl. this will be our 2nd date thingy.
she texts me today and mentions she may have pink eye but still wants to hang out.

i like her and all but ewidotwantpinkeye!

― Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 27 October 2011 02:48 (fourteen years ago)

and yes, this would be your chance to joke about putting it in the pink, ilx.

― Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 27 October 2011 02:49 (fourteen years ago)

well, and one in the stink too, of course. oh god

that's kinda funny that she mentioned pink eye but still wants to hang out!

― double whooooaaaaa! (Z S), Thursday, 27 October 2011 04:07 (fourteen years ago)

you could catch a lot worse.

― pplains, Thursday, 27 October 2011 04:13 (fourteen years ago)

"pink eye fetish"
About 147 results (0.09 seconds)

― buzza, Thursday, 27 October 2011 04:31 (fourteen years ago)

Just don't touch her eye with yours and you should be safe, iirc.

― StanM, Thursday, 27 October 2011 08:57 (fourteen years ago)

It's second date already, and you expect them not to touch eyes? What kind of a puritan are you?!

― Tuomas, Thursday, 27 October 2011 10:25 (fourteen years ago)

lol - so should i full my pockets with purell, or should i feel under the weather and reschedule?
pinkeye's pretty easy to catch, no?

― Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 27 October 2011 14:42 (fourteen years ago)

i will be a pariah around the office if i come in with the PE

― Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 27 October 2011 14:42 (fourteen years ago)

Pink eye barely moves the needle on my personal gross-o-meter, but in any case it's hard to inadvertently catch from another person unless they rub their eyes and then yours.

― Everything else is secondary (Lee626), Thursday, 27 October 2011 15:56 (fourteen years ago)

Pink eye is ANY INFLAMMATION OF THE SCLERA OF THE EYE. It's not a particular disease. It's "easy" to spread mostly in children, because they touch their faces all the time. If your date doesn't touch her eye, and then touch your hand, and then you touch YOUR eye, you'll almost certainly be fine.

― WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel), Thursday, 27 October 2011 15:59 (fourteen years ago)

I'm actually not 100% sure that "sclera" was the right word there but it sounded good and I wanted to use it. gbx will probably pwn me in like 10 minutes.

― WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel), Thursday, 27 October 2011 16:00 (fourteen years ago)

"rub their eyes and then yours."

― pplains, Thursday, 27 October 2011 16:12 (fourteen years ago)

> it's hard to inadvertently catch from another person unless they rub their eyes and then yours.

- me

> If your date doesn't touch her eye, and then touch your hand, and then you touch YOUR eye, you'll almost certainly be fine.

WE DO NOT HAVE "SECRET" "MEETINGS." I DO NOT HAVE A SECOND (Laurel)

oops didn't take that scenario into account, which shows how often I hold hands on a date....

(I'm an arm-around-the-back guy; holding hands reminds me too much of being a kid and having my folks not let me walk anywhere without holding their hand everywhere I went until I was 8)

― Everything else is secondary (Lee626), Thursday, 27 October 2011 16:44 (fourteen years ago)

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