Excelsior? I Hardly Knew Her (In Truth, I Knew Her Well) AKA The Funnyhaha Korner

I have a mountain of buckled staples by my side. I'd hate to just bin them.

But what else to do?

-- Rumpie (rumpu...), January 17th, 2006 8:41 PM. (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu) (later)

Answers

sprinkle on cereal

-- RJG (RJ...), January 17th, 2006 8:43 PM. (RJG) (later)

Use as confetti

-- Rumpie (rumpu...), January 17th, 2006 8:47 PM. (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu) (later)

Throw at annoying co-workers.

-- not-goodwin (godwin...), January 17th, 2006 8:49 PM. (not-goodwin) (later)

Heap them up onto a large magnet and sculpt them into a likeness of Michaelangelo's David.

-- C J (CJ_The_Unrul...), January 17th, 2006 8:50 PM. (C J) (later)

I wasn't specific enough

-- RJG (RJ...), January 17th, 2006 8:51 PM. (RJG) (later)

1) Worst excel thread title ever.
2) Way too early.

Whether it is, or not.

3) 99% of this thread is not funny - only the stuff from friends of mine. There, that's out the way.

-- grimeisshit (grimisshit@sh

ha ha ha ha ha.

this one's pretty good actually

-- Dr.C (petethane...), January 17th, 2006.

GLASS

-- Huk-L (handsomishbo...), Today 4:58 PM. (later) (link)

Huk-L, you took the shards right out of my mouth.

-- Beth Parker (marthasminion...), Today 4:58 PM.

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969. While Glen Campbell's stint as a Beach Boy in the mid-'60s is well-known, less publicized was his brief tenure as touring vocalist for Sunn 0))) for several dates in 2004, when vocalists Wrest and Malefic were simultaneously stricken with bronchitis. Sunn 0))) guitarist Stephen O'Malley expressed interest in keeping Campbell on as a regular vocalist when the tour ended, but the rest of the band resisted the move on the grounds that Campbell's bellows were "too throaty" to fit in the context of the songs. As a gesture of goodwill, they are currently recording an album of Campbell covers, tenatively titled "By the Time I Get to Phoenix: the Songs of Glen Campbell."
-- owen moorhead (owen_...), January 17th, 2006.

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006 12:47 PM. (nabisco) (later) (link)

Was just going to answer with Cap'n Crunch as well.

-- Stan Fields (stanfield...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006 12:48 PM. (Stan Fields) (later) (link)

That shit is like, "Hey, roof of your mouth? My name is Cap'n Crunch, and I AM GOING TO HOUSE YOU."

-- nabisco (--...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006 12:51 PM. (nabisco) (later) (link)

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Hey, I prefer written porn too.

-- Tuomas (lixnix...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006 11:18 AM. (Tuomas) (later)

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DADDY?
-- killy (babyleni...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006 11:21 AM. (baby lenin pin) (later)

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Proud of ya, kiddo!

-- Tuomas (lixnix...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006 11:22 AM. (Tuomas) (later)

-- , (...), Today 7:47 PM

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006 3:19 PM. (jaymc) (later) (link)

...

-- Lars and Jagger (nicole.kessle...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006 3:21 PM. (Ex Leon) (later) (link)

-- Susan Douglas (SusanisDougla...), January 17th, 2006.

The core is atmosphere, at which they excelled.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 17th, 2006.

your hairness is right.

-- Susan Douglas (SusanisDougla...), January 17th, 2006.

don't you mean 'vibe'?

-- gabbneb (gabbne...), January 17th, 2006.

No, I leave that term to Phish fans.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...), January 17th, 2006.

it's actually about the Peruvian healthcare system.
-- latebloomer: virtuous, pure and masculine like only an American male can be (posercore24...), January 17th, 2006. (latebloomer) (later)

This is fabulous =)

They have a dossier that alleges Bush considered bombing Al Jarreau.
-- Sororah T Massacre

http://www.the-goldengirls.com/Palace/gp6.jpg http://www.the-goldengirls.com/Palace/gp8.jpg

-- j blount (jamesbloun...) (webmail), January 17th, 2006. (link)

-- cancer prone fat guy (wt...) (webmail), January 16th, 2006. (link)

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i didn't know where the closest bus stop was

-- cancer prone fat guy (wt...) (webmail), January 16th, 2006. (link)

-- whiskeytangofoxtrot (brownston...), March 23rd, 2006. (unclejessjess) (later)

You're uncut? Or you've been with uncut guys?

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), March 23rd, 2006. (jaymc) (later)

Alone clean up vs sex clean up are two totally different things. I understand dude aloneness clean up.

xpost jaymc party foul

-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 23rd, 2006. (allyzay) (later)

File -> Save

-- Dan (File Updated) Perry (djperry@gmail.com), March 23rd, 2006. (Dan Perry) (later)

-- nabisco (--...), March 23rd, 2006 4:08 PM. (nabisco) (link)

Also Anubis was my first thought regarding this thread, in addition to being "my first." I'll never forget his touch.

-- nabisco (--...), March 23rd, 2006 4:09 PM. (nabisco) (link)

-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 23rd, 2006. (allyzay) (later)

You're kidding.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), March 23rd, 2006. (jaymc) (later)

No I actually am not. Swear on my grandfather's grave.

-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 23rd, 2006. (allyzay) (later)

Did you think it was just a nonsense word?

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), March 23rd, 2006. (jaymc) (later)

No, but I couldn't really figure out what the acronym stood for. I tried to come up with very seriousy terms for each of the letters, too!!! It only just occurred to me to google it.

-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 23rd, 2006. (allyzay) (later)

You've never seen American Pie?

-- Zwan (anthonyisrigh...), March 23rd, 2006. (miccio) (later)

not really

-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 23rd, 2006. (allyzay) (later)

It was on, once, but I mostly ignored it.

-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 23rd, 2006. (allyzay) (later)

I want to hear what your other possibles were!

-- phil d. (pldenniso...), March 23rd, 2006. (Phil D.) (later)

they mostly started with some variation on "mature" or "middle" and then tried to come up with things from there. It was pretty vexing actually.

-- Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyza...), March 23rd, 2006. (allyzay) (later)

OTM. I love hearing some CS undergrad tell the world their opinion of Sun/whatever's big iron when all their experience is from installing Linux on their old Dell. Also, tired jokes

-- R.I.P. West Village Bird Shaman ]-`: (dr_...), March 23rd, 2006. (ex machina) (later)

OH THE IRONING

high school student who climbed up onto the blackboard while i was explaining an angular momentum problem to some kids to change my name from "MR F0ZI" to "MR CAN'T DO SUDOKU"

-- vahid (vfoz...), March 23rd, 2006 6:49 PM. (vahid) (later)

-- R.I.P. West Village Bird Shaman ]-`: (dr_...), March 23rd, 2006 2:45 PM. (ex machina)

-- Greg Schaeffer (mr_grogra...), March 23rd, 2006.

-- Dan I. (w1nt3rmut...) (webmail), March 24th, 2006. (link)

I know what you mean.Who wants to laugh when you can just smirk?
In fact, I'm going to switch from LOL and ROFFLES to WS and ROFFSE.

SMAO!:-)

-- Smirky McSmirkerson (wry_smirk @ motherfucker.com) (webmail), March 24th, 2006. (link)

-- Masked Gazza (m...), March 24th, 2006.

Don't say the viewer.

-- Masked Gazza (m...), March 24th, 2006.

Spoilsport

-- Dadaismus, the Male Poster (dadaismu...), March 24th, 2006.

Instead of 'Clock Soup'how about 'Alphabet Soup'. As in "I could eat Alphabet Soup and shit better short fiction, poetry and occasional articles and interviews than this."

-- dr lulu (dr.lulu66...), March 24th, 2006.

-- J.D. (aubade8...), March 24th, 2006

-- Pleasant Plains /// (pleasant.plain...), March 24th, 2006 5:27 PM. (Pleasant Plains ///) (later)

-- Mike Hanle y (pennyson...), September 27th, 2002 10:54 AM. (mike)

It could be worse, it could be Norman Mailer.

-- rosemary (rosemarygilber...), September 27th, 2002 11:00 AM. (rosemary)

SNAKES ON A PAGE

-- ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (estebanbutte...), March 25th, 2006 11:11 AM. (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!) (link)

(description of 3 types of Down's Syndrome) ... But those are the only variations of Down's that I know of.

-- Raw, Uncompromising, and Noodly (noodle_vague@?!?!?!?.c0m), February 28th, 2006 4:56 PM. (noodle vague)

(look, I'm sorry, ok? I couldn't help it, I just rofled, maybe because it was on a serious thread, I don't know)

Answers

legs are broek.
-- gbx (in....) (webmail), March 25th, 2006. (skowly) (later)

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rjg otm
-- ken c (pykachu10...), March 21st, 2006.

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you fools
-- RJG (RJ...), March 21st, 2006.

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quite
-- Konal Doddz (stevem7...), March 21st, 2006.

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haha, you fool
-- RJG (RJ...), March 21st, 2006.

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i said QUIET
-- Konal Doddz (stevem7...), March 21st, 2006.

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what a fool...
-- RJG (RJ...), March 21st, 2006.

-- Forksclovetofu (forksclovetof...), March 25th, 2006.

Unless you're in prison.

-- M. White (boeldie...), March 25th, 2006.

Yeah, well, people shouldn't be afraid of sex, but it doesn't mean that people who are don't have legitimate fears and shouldn't be treated with respect and dignity! Being harsh on this guy isn't going to make him any less terrified. The guy could obviously use a little more support and straight talk, and a little less condescending snark.

-- Matthew C Perpetua (perpetu...), March 25th, 2006.

You're just mad because I made the awesome "closet slut" joke before you could.

-- Dan (Admit It) Perry (djperry@gmail.com), March 25th, 2006.

-- Martin Skidmore (martin.skidmore...), October 2nd, 2002.

-- meth lab for doug flutie (nutramentmik...) (webmail), March 25th, 2006 10:47 PM. (sanskrit) (later) (link)

-- It is the nineties, and there is time for Curt1s. (curtis.stephen...), March 26th, 2006 9:27 PM. (Curtis Stephens)

(mainly for ESTEBAN's cartoon lunk)

-- gem (gemilyinterrupte...), March 27th, 2006.

I'm a little bothered by how very DV it looks; wasn't cremaster 3 shot on film?

-- kyle (akmonda...), March 26th, 2006.

i think it was actually shot on an organic laminate constructed of his own intestines

-- Tracer Hand (tracerhan...), March 26th, 2006.

-- Jordan (jordan...), March 27th, 2006 5:00 PM. (Jordan) (later)

lois is hot - she is sexy and horny, and perte's friend fancy her a lot,
but her daughter is ecen better!
whats her name? forgot.

btw,anyone who think family guy is bad is 1.not my friend 2.should be band to planet mars.

-- dersde (...), Sunday.

-- Alba (albab...), March 28th, 2006 11:48 AM. (Alba) (later) (link)

-- nicky lo-fi (ilmforsur...), March 28th, 2006.

-- send your men of science quick (theundergroundhom...) (webmail), March 28th, 2006 10:07 AM. (Jody Beth Rosen) (later) (link)

It's spring 2006 and I say EXCELSIOR to all you rofflers