Pissing Outdoors

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I enjoy unleashing my bladder outdoors. Given the weather isn't too cold, I much prefer going outside than in. Oftentimes when I'm home alone and having a cigarette on my porch and the bladder needs emptying, I'll just piss over the side of the rail onto my lawn. Not when anyone's around, mind you. I'm mostly obscured by the columns and a nearby tree, but nonetheless I'm usually worried that someone will see, or that someone will hear the signature spattering sounds of piss on dirt and THEN see.

Until just now. I was having a cigarette on the porch, and while I didn't have the need to piss, apparently my neighbor across the street did. He came outside to put his beer bottles into the recycling bin, and obviously unaware I was there, proceeded to piss over the railing of his porch onto his own lawn. Ha!

Perhaps this is a mainly coversation for the men, but is this more common than I expected? And for the women: do find the idea of men pissing outdoors willy nilly to be gross?

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 19 January 2006 06:43 (twenty years ago)

I really only ever did this while camping, but once you realize that you don't have to aim and you put both hands behind your head and lean back, it's the most liberating feeling ever!

― naus (Robert T), Thursday, 19 January 2006 06:56 (twenty years ago)

I'll do this during the warmer months of the year sometimes. Most often when bros are around and there is drinking involved!

― Mingus Dew (Mingus Dew), Thursday, 19 January 2006 07:22 (twenty years ago)

Yes! I love doing this as well. It's best after several drinks and onto a bed of dry leaves, or soft ground (you wouldsn't want to try this on concrete, unless it's vertical).

― Jena (JenaP), Thursday, 19 January 2006 07:54 (twenty years ago)

and byt that i mean a wall, obv.

― Jena (JenaP), Thursday, 19 January 2006 07:55 (twenty years ago)

To be honest I'm jealous you guys can do it so easily! Its not fair!

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 19 January 2006 08:09 (twenty years ago)

Writing your name in snow is fun too.

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Thursday, 19 January 2006 08:14 (twenty years ago)

not as much fun as writing your girlfriend's name in the snow and drawing a heart round it. they never know how to react to that one! gotta keep 'em on their toes.

― the kit! (g-kit), Thursday, 19 January 2006 08:43 (twenty years ago)

I rmemeber once in college at a keg party outdoors seeing some girls wander not far at all from the crowd and drop-trou and piss away. It was very amazing. The youthful dolphin-like thighs shining in the moonlite.

― Latham Green (mike), Thursday, 19 January 2006 09:40 (twenty years ago)

You know, I've never understood why people are quite so fond of this...it's fine and all, but I don't have these urban-pastoral moments when I do it.

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:05 (twenty years ago)

i saw some art thing by some canadian artist where her and her bf (or he and his gf if the artist was the bloke, but i think it was the girl) had gone outside and pissed in the snow, lots of times and each time in a fresh patch of snow, then she'd taken plaster casts of the holes and set them upside down (so, like stalagmites) on the floor. it was cool. his ones were much taller than hers!

um, pissing on your own lawn is a bit rank though.

― emsk ( emsk), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:13 (twenty years ago)

peepee is sterile.

― the kit! (g-kit), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:14 (twenty years ago)

Gah, now I am annoyed because I cannot remember the name of the woman who did that. I have a feeling she died in the late 90s, though.

(xpost)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:17 (twenty years ago)

Hurrah for Google - it was Helen Chadwick.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:19 (twenty years ago)

Paula Radcliffe to thread.

― Venga (Venga), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:22 (twenty years ago)

yeh, but it *smells*.

― emsk ( emsk), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:25 (twenty years ago)

I found some books once on Amazon about the theraputic effects of DRiKNING YOUR PISS!!!

― Latham Green (mike), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:40 (twenty years ago)

I'll just piss over the side of the rail onto my lawn

does this not kill the grass?

― mason storm (mason storm), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:49 (twenty years ago)

Urine is only sterile when it is FRESH. After it gets out of your body and the bacteria get to work on it, dude, it's a one way ticket to all kinds of nastiness.

― filled the fjords of my brain (kate), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:50 (twenty years ago)

so don't lick your lawn. oh wait! you don't anyway. k.

― the kit! (g-kit), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:52 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I saw those Piss Flowers at an exhbition in 1995. They were cool.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 19 January 2006 12:54 (twenty years ago)

piss flowers! that was it. this was around '97 or so i think.

and you lie on your lawn in summer, do you not? and invariably get some bits of grass and whatnot in your mouth and all over your skin? and walk around barefoot then bite your toenails (er, perhaps that's just me)?

i think a lot - well, not a LOT, but a significant number - of people do the piss-drinking thing. (and it reminds me of that brilliant horrible bit in the league of gentlemen)

― emsk ( emsk), Thursday, 19 January 2006 13:49 (twenty years ago)

I consider a person inalienable rigth to piss lamost anywhere at 2am!

― mei (mei), Thursday, 19 January 2006 13:52 (twenty years ago)

i don't have a lawn, so no.

― the kit! (g-kit), Thursday, 19 January 2006 13:52 (twenty years ago)

it's not about rights, you can do what you like in your own lawn. (and yes, you can also do what you like at 2am in a city or whatever when there are NO 24 HR PUBLIC TOILETS EVEN PAYING ONES I MEAN WTF? are we just too polite to talk about it or something? come on ken!) but i just think it's a bit... minging. what's that law where in the city of london a man is allowed to piss in the street so long as he has his hand on the back of a car? and a pregnant woman is allowed to whip a policeman's hat off his head and piss in it when/wherever she feels the urge?

― emsk ( emsk), Thursday, 19 January 2006 14:02 (twenty years ago)

Thing is, most people who piss outdoors *don't* do it on their own lawns - they do it on someone else's doorstep! And that... gah, that makes me want to cut their penises off!

― filled the fjords of my brain (kate), Thursday, 19 January 2006 14:09 (twenty years ago)

To be honest, I'd rather fertilize my lawn with my urine (and it is used as fertilizer, though undiluted is can burn the roots of some plants) than waste a gallon of water for a private toilet piss.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 19 January 2006 15:46 (twenty years ago)

A friend of mine always wants to do this.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 19 January 2006 18:29 (twenty years ago)

Several weeks ago, a friend and I were looking for a house party off Atwells Ave in Providence. We got to the neighborhood already drunk, and we went into an unlocked apartment building, thinking the party was there. We got to the third floor before we realized we were in the wrong building, at which point my friend decided he had to piss. He opened the 3rd floor hall window and pissed out. Even THAT was a little extreme for me.

― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Thursday, 19 January 2006 18:38 (twenty years ago)

i came home at 3am one day to find a very drunken bloke in a celtic top pissing on my hedge. "fucking hell, mate," i said, cheerily.

he got all embarrassed and turned to face me to apologise.

while still pissing.

that was very unpleasant indeed.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 19 January 2006 22:08 (twenty years ago)

not as much fun as writing your girlfriend's name in the snow and drawing a heart round it. they never know how to react to that one! gotta keep 'em on their toes.

is your girlfriend named "L" or something? this is damn hard. i tried writing with piss in the snow just this weekend, and the best i could do were a lot of indecipherable loops.

― a spectator bird (a spectator bird), Thursday, 19 January 2006 22:59 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.