buying your ex-girlfriend a dildo or vibrator - C or D

i suppose i made this post cos im wondering if im a bit weird. im probably just a perv though.

Why not? She'll remember the gesture long after she's forgotten most of the details of your specific penis.

yes, and they are totally missing out

and/or easily able to orgasm without it

did she orgasm when you had sex? did she orgasm when you gave her oral sex? it depends, really. if she came with penetration only, a dildo is the way to go.

you know, they do make vibrating dildos. that might be the best choice for you. you can get one for around $25.

yes. then she can suck on it, and that's always hot. even if she's just emailing you about how she sucked on it.

yeah she pretty much orgasmed virtually every time we had sex - both ways, penetration and oral.

this looks more complicated than i thought, buying a dildo. whats the diff between a dildo, a vibrator and a vibrating dildo?! i dont even know what a dong is.

a vibrator is something that vibrates. it can also look like a dildo, or it can be an "egg" that fits inside, a big box with different attachments that the girl can sit on, a little vibrating slip that fits over a thumb, etc.

a vibrating dildo is something shaped like a dick that also vibrates.

GOT IT?

go to toysinbabeland.com

yeah, those things are out of CONTROL!

you can be done in less than a minute if you concentrate hard enough or have fresh batteries.

and yes, vibrators are excellent.

awesome!! thank you!!!!!

by the way, crump upthread, im not a masto-overlord! i am quite genuine about all this.

im surprised no one has said this is an odd thing to do. i appreciate it though.

one thing about the type of dildo my ex said she wanted - she said she wanted a black one. im not sure if i should be worried about this cos well, im not black. im spanish and so is she (were both kinda almond-skinned though, if that makes any diff). im starting to wonder if she had a fetish all along. and if thats what shes attracted to, then why did she go for me (still, i know she was very attracted to me and we did have great sex)?

i suppose the logical explanation is that people are attracted to all types, and maybe she just has a fantasy (the same way i have a thing for chinese women) but well, i dunno what to think about that.

I was talking about killy!

Hahahahaha phil-anon, are you actually the Ying Yang Twinz?

I was talking about killy!

i doubt that i masturbate any more than the rest of you!

http://images.redvision.de/apics/apics250/1057.jpg

not this -
http://pics5.erosboutique.com/dildos-blackdildo.jpg

"I mean, something's going on, you're not "just friends" (yet?) and that can lead to Trouble."

yeah i dont know what to do. we try to be friends, she says she wishes we were friends, and yet she still has no problem sending sexy texts and messages and on the phone. i find it confusing a tad, but being just as horny as she is, i find myself doing the same. its terrible i know. i think she still likes me though romantically, even though she says she wants us just to be friends. which is why its probably better for us to not physically do it as it could be worse.

we kept having rows, and almost doing things on purpose to cause rows. it was feeling like habit rather than going out for the fun of it in a way. i think we began to be somewhat co-dependent on each other, and it wasnt healthy, and i think it wasnt doing either of us any favours. it was making us both somewhat miserable in a way as we werent enjoying each other as much as we should have (well apart from during sex - that was pretty much a constant). we had all the caring, compassion, and love for each other, we just seemed to lack the 'fun' parts. been about 8 months since we split up. maybe 6 since we truly called it a day.

anyway, forget the stupid colour thing i wrote about above, she says she just wanted one that wasnt white but was lifelike so that was the nearest alternative. we spoke again last night and decided that it would be best for both of us if we didnt keep sending sexual messages and texts, etc, as it wasnt healthy or good for us in terms of moving on, esp as theres still emotions there, more so for her, but now, for me as well. its weird, the times weve chatted on the phone the past few months, its been really nice, maybe just cos its familar territory, but also cos it seems like were more open with each other in a way, or not so worried about pleasing the other all the time, more relaxed in general, not feeling like were treading on eggshells around each other which is what it felt like at times before. its made me wonder that if we got back together now it would be different.

but when we talk now, i often end up feeling a bit crap after in a way, as it makes me wonder if i did the right thing by splitting up. i dont wanna suggest getting back together or anything like that right now though cos if it turns out to be a mistake (im not entirely sure about it) it would hurt her more, which i dont want. maybe its just cos im still single that im feeling like this though.

part of the reason though for when we split up was cos well, shes the only girl ive been with, and being prob an idiot, i couldnt help feeling somewhat shackled during the latter part of the relationship. i think id always be wondering what it would be like with other people, i dont really have that frame of ref to compare with that most people take for granted.

anyway, sorry for the long essay, just wanted to let it out somewhere.

I don't think that you should suggest getting back together in that case. There are always reasons why people split up, and it sounds like this was for good reasons.

xpost- the shackled feeling was mainly cos i felt i had only been with one woman i think, but maybe it was also cos i felt i wasnt totally able to be myself back then with her, i think ive grown up a bit more in the past year though, and its diff when we talk these days though that might just be cos were not in the relationship together and people are diff when outside of coupledom arent they? oh i dont know, im wondering if it WOULD be diff if we got back together now, but i think i would have to be with diff people before doing anything like that, otherwise it might just end up being square one again. i think i do genuinely need to experience being with other women, if only to satisfy curiosity and to stop some of the lingering doubt. my prob is that while im - even if i do say so - a pretty good looking guy (or so people tell me) - im not always that good at approaching women just like that so maybe i will just end up alone. and to get back with someone just cos you cant get anyone else is fucking sad, both for you and an insult to the other person, so i think i really need to get out there and do what i need to and get some more experience.

I split up with my first serious girlfriend after two years for several reasons, partly her high emotional maintenance, and partly because I felt like I hadn't, to be frank, "fucked around enough". We were apart for 6 months and in that time I didn't fuck around at all. She did, however, get her shit together more than she had done before, and we got back together. Since then the sex has been better and the relationship has been better, and we've now been seeing each other (including the spell apart) for 4 and a half years.

You need to decide what you really want. Then you need to ask what you need. Then you need to find out what she wants and needs. Then you need to make a decision.

For it to be different if you get back together you BOTH need to MAKE it different. Relationships take effort and understanding, they don't just happen.

im also an arsehole cos i also wonder if theres somebody better out there which means i dont really deserve my ex any way. and she doesnt deserve me then, either.

im a nob. what can i say?

fwiw My ex favoured this one.

er, this one, from here: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?cat=65&id=2561

But they're called The Butthole Surfers, dude.

And ask her to use it on you.

probably not. im going to try though.

I remember telling my ex gf that her new butch haircut was valid right before she broke up with me