Having Attractive Freinds -

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can it be platonic? I mean if you are attracted to the friend and you have not known them for that long so you feel no "I grew up with them" sibling feeling.

― Merry Mr Flubbings (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 05:54 (twenty years ago)

yes

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 20 January 2006 06:02 (twenty years ago)

By pretending that they have herpes.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Friday, 20 January 2006 06:03 (twenty years ago)

Sure. I have some friends I even veered close to wanting to date (fooled around or whatever) and then for varying reasons had to put the brakes on, and we're still friends :)

Doesn't always work, but with good mates it usually will if yr sensible.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 20 January 2006 06:04 (twenty years ago)

but What if they are REALLY good looking, like you get nervous being around them becuase they are so hot?

― Merry Mr Flubbings (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 06:42 (twenty years ago)

this seems like a no-brainer. yes?

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Friday, 20 January 2006 06:48 (twenty years ago)

Well I for one have NEVER been able to do it. That's why when I have broken up with past girlfriends I have always completely severed ties of any kind, never seeing them again, becuase if I am freinds with a woman and I am attracted to them, I WILL develop romantic feelings for them. WHy is this!

― Merry Mr Flubbings (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 06:52 (twenty years ago)

you're only human, mate!

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:00 (twenty years ago)

Right. Then it's settled. Never shall I sail my boat of friendship too close to the sirens of the hot friends lest I drown in the sorrows of unrequited love.

― Merry Mr Flubbings (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:10 (twenty years ago)

This is not that hard.

Plus if you find them so irresistably hot then they probably wouldn't get with you anyway.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:16 (twenty years ago)

you'll need to start swimming in stranger waters.
fleeting lust is better than unrequited love. yes?

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:19 (twenty years ago)

It doesn't matter if they would get with me or not, I just don't like lusting after people I can't have. I am married. I want my mairrage to last for a long time. tO HELL WITH INFATUATION!

― Merry Mr Flubbings (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:29 (twenty years ago)

Incidentally - from wiki

"Both men and women use physical attractiveness as a measure of how 'good' another person is. Men often tend to value attractiveness more than women, and in fMRI brain scans published in 2004 by Rutgers University evolutionary anthropologist Helen Fisher, in the early intense stages of falling in love, there were clear differences in male and female brains. Men, on average, tended to show more activity in two regions in the brain: one was associated with the integration of visual stimuli and the second was with penile erection. Conversely, women in these early stages exhibited increased activity in several regions of the brain associated with memory recall. Fisher speculated the evolutionary source was in the need for females to identify males whose behavior over time suggested they would help the female raise her offspring.[2] However, in terms of behavior, some studies suggest little difference between men and women."

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:31 (twenty years ago)

it appears you've mistitled your thread- should read "having second thoughts about monogamy".

marriage is for suckers.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:32 (twenty years ago)

the way to avoid developing romantic feelings for them is to just fuck them as if they're objects

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:36 (twenty years ago)

it's the only way you can keep your freindship

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 January 2006 07:36 (twenty years ago)

Perhaps polygamy would be the answer! But I have the feeling most women would not like the idea. Still, Merry Mr. Flubbings is one hell of a man and could surely satisfy two!

― Merry Mr Flubbings (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 08:21 (twenty years ago)

not polygamy! nothinggamy! just don't be attached to any of the sex objects.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 January 2006 08:27 (twenty years ago)

fuck them, flubbings, fuck them hard

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 January 2006 08:27 (twenty years ago)

Mr. Flubbings does not want to just fockandforget. I like romantic times, walks on the beach,listening to Kraftwerk at 3:00 am ... perhaps monogamy is the child of jealousy.

― Merry Mr Flubbings (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 09:03 (twenty years ago)

but Flubbings, why can't you just be friends and yes you may feel attracted but so what!

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 11:29 (twenty years ago)

Right, I have been in this situation, both while having a parter and not.

It was easy. If you have decided not to get 'involved', you do find a number of reasons why not. "Oh, she's high maintenance" "Oh, she's a pain in the BUTT!" and "She's on a different planet". Call it denial if you like (I don't think it's that), but if you are sure of why you don;t want to, it's easy.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 20 January 2006 11:48 (twenty years ago)

Has Hanley developed a multiple personality disorder or something?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 20 January 2006 11:51 (twenty years ago)

Mr. Flubbings does not want to just fockandforget.

noone said fockandforget! fock and remember the fun focking, just objectify it all.

I like romantic times, walks on the beach,listening to Kraftwerk at 3:00 am ... perhaps monogamy is the child of jealousy.

well that's your problem. your friends don't want those things, they just want to fuck you

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 January 2006 11:54 (twenty years ago)

I don't see any postings by "Hanle y". WHat if you can't find any "reasons why not"?

― Latham green (hanle y 3000), Friday, 20 January 2006 11:57 (twenty years ago)

then you fuck them!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 January 2006 12:01 (twenty years ago)

Well, quite. Why do you "not" want it to happen? (That's not a rhetorical question). If you might like it, then fine. If you have a S.O., then are you the person that might have to say to yourself.. "I'm not going to...I'm not, Oh go onthen"

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 20 January 2006 12:04 (twenty years ago)

it's because of the headshine i think

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 January 2006 12:06 (twenty years ago)

(Tuomas, there's probably 3000 of them. The hanle y 3000 is like the Birmingham 6 x 500)

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 20 January 2006 12:09 (twenty years ago)

I guess one fear is that wifey will be jealous if the relationship with the hottie gets too intimate. I mean the question is not "Will Flubbings focky with freind who is a sexy mama?" the question is "can Flubbings continue to grow close to said person without some sort of unwanted romantic EMOTION blossoming within merry breast."

― Merry Mr Flubbings (mike), Friday, 20 January 2006 12:55 (twenty years ago)

oh lighten up, i fancy ALL my female friends and nobody has a problem with it.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, 20 January 2006 13:32 (twenty years ago)

sometimes unstated romantic attraction leads to more intimate and interesting friendships! just make sure to never, ever admit to anyone the real cause.

― Maria (Maria), Friday, 20 January 2006 13:57 (twenty years ago)

I mean the question is not "Will Flubbings focky with freind who is a sexy mama?"

no. no indeed.

― Theorry Henry (Enrique), Friday, 20 January 2006 14:03 (twenty years ago)

I mean the question is not "Will Flubbings focky with freind who is a sexy mama?"

But if he would, would they be doing it in front of her baby?

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 20 January 2006 14:11 (twenty years ago)

she probably doesn't want to sex you anyway, due to the headshine. so no danger really

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 January 2006 14:13 (twenty years ago)

Maria otm. I think it's okay to find your friends attractive! Not necessarily want to sleep with them, but there's a pleasure in hanging out with people you think are attractive (physically, etc.) - it can be a part of friendship, certainly.

Maybe if everyone would just chill out about "dilemmas" re: wanting to sleep with your friends, things would be just fine. Of course, if lust/unrequited-painful-love becomes the over-riding focus of your side of the friendship, well, there's a problem there. Obv this comes from personal experience of wanting to yell CHILL THE FUCK OUT at certain friends (and also me being pretty clueless re: when someone likes me in "that way." hrm. I guess this is b/c I think Friendship Is #1 and Good.)

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Friday, 20 January 2006 16:16 (twenty years ago)

No offence but HAVE YOU ALL GONE INCREDIBLY MAD! Freinds are people you like because of their personality, not their excellent cheekbones! Anyway, I think the main reason I never want to have a crush on someone is I hate the feeling of powerlessness and dependance. When you covet somone, they own you. You become jealous and needy, and this is especially ridiculous when there is no chance of the matter ever being resolved. FLubbldy funkerppupu!

― Merry Mr Flubbings (mike), Saturday, 21 January 2006 07:35 (twenty years ago)

the best way to disarm the situation and your crush, the object of your guarded affection, this "friend" who is owning you, is to admit the attraction to your wife.

that will diffuse things reaaalll quick.

and quit blubbering, flubbings! you're a man not a jellyfish!

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Saturday, 21 January 2006 08:20 (twenty years ago)

I think flubbings might be an annoying friend to have, he is cheerful in the wrong kind of ways. I never liked Tom Bombadil either.

― estela (estela), Saturday, 21 January 2006 08:22 (twenty years ago)

You are quite correct Estela! I am an ogre! Nein SOcken, if I admitted this to wifer, she would only feel depressed and cry and then I would feel ten times worse than I already do, and the fact would remain that I would have to work with this person still. Well, she is a part timer for a poistion to be filled. Maybe it will soon be filled and I can put this wretched affair behind me. I would approve of this, as I wonder if the friendship could even survive outside of the protective safety of the workplace. I think I shall fill my beirstein with rootbeer and sob.

― Merry Mr Flubbings (mike), Saturday, 21 January 2006 08:30 (twenty years ago)

Can we go back to the swimming metaphor?

― kingfish kuribo's shoe (kingfish 2.0), Saturday, 21 January 2006 08:36 (twenty years ago)

grow up, flubbings! you have a crush on a temporary coworker? you wonder if the "friendship" could survive outside the protective safety of the workplace?
where's your head at?
what do you want to happen to here? what's your best and worst case scenario? how does this all play out in your mind? why can't you let it go and get your ass back in bed with your wife instead of blubbering over rootbeer?
god damn you married men! grass is always greener innit?
i slap you, flubbings. i slap you.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Saturday, 21 January 2006 08:45 (twenty years ago)

oh and that should read "what do you want to happen here?".
i got flustered, sorry for the typo to all you people that give a shit.

while i'm here, i slap you again, flubbings.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Saturday, 21 January 2006 08:49 (twenty years ago)

I could use a good slapping. The best case scenario would be we continue to develop friendship but I stop thikning she is so beautiful and feel no attraction. The worst case scenario is I continue to feel infatuation-feeling and one day purposely or by accident make my feelings known and then my mairrage falls apart and I want to die.
I just moved to a new city two years ago and it saddens me that even still I haven't really made any good friends that I can call on the weekends to come over and hang out with. I guess I wish this could be one such friend, BUT NOT IF IT IS ALL RUINED BY MY STUPID HEART! BLUBBEDY FLUBBINGSWORTH!

― Merry Mr Flubbings (mike), Saturday, 21 January 2006 08:53 (twenty years ago)

i'm gonna make an assumption here that your wife would appreciate if you'd focus on finding male friends, possibly other married male friends (though it's difficult to meet any people, really, and become friends the older you get i know this believe me, i also have no friends, here i am on the internet on friday night giving advice to jellyfishes) and also that it's not the best idea to pursue a friendship with a very attractive female coworker. unless your marriage is in danger anyway, in which this is your desperate cry. in which you should really be talking to your wife or a counselor.

you know how to handle this. you know you need to be accountable for the commitment you made to your wife. so stop this nonsense or else present the situation to her. take responsibility for yourself and have respect for that commitment.

sucks to be flubbings.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Saturday, 21 January 2006 09:10 (twenty years ago)

I agree with what you say Nein socken! I guess i must do what seems so intuitively wrong in my blubbery heart - cut ties! Pu tup a wall! Icey up myself. I have thought all along - "I could distance myself but what if there is a valuable friendship to be squandered!" - but it is not worth the anxieties and uncomfortableness. If I can foster friendship between WIFE and said co-worker, that seems like it would make all well though. But I doubt this can happen becuase where I live no one sees anyone unless it is at the workplace or it is someone they liv ewith. New england is not a very social place.

― Merry Mr Flubbings (mike), Saturday, 21 January 2006 09:18 (twenty years ago)

it is what you make it, merry mr. flubbings.

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Saturday, 21 January 2006 09:42 (twenty years ago)

http://www.openmusic.ru/gallery-crazy/0024-kiber2/0024-kiber2_7.jpg

I rest my case.

― Merry Mr Flubbings (mike), Saturday, 21 January 2006 09:46 (twenty years ago)

That is indeed a hot friend.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 21 January 2006 14:36 (twenty years ago)

I don't know how you control yourself.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 21 January 2006 14:36 (twenty years ago)

it's the 'tash that makes it

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 21 January 2006 17:47 (twenty years ago)

What is this thread about?

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Saturday, 21 January 2006 18:20 (twenty years ago)

I think the thread was about being attracted to friends and feeling kind of bad about it

― Green Olive Face (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 22 January 2006 04:31 (twenty years ago)

The only solution is to ritualistically blind yourself.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Sunday, 22 January 2006 05:33 (twenty years ago)

You mean "touch what God put there for his own purposes" ? I could never defilfe myself that way! Besides, will that not just lead to concurrent visualizations of said object?

― Mr. Latham Green (hanle y 3000), Sunday, 22 January 2006 06:28 (twenty years ago)

keep those hands to yerself, sir!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 22 January 2006 06:31 (twenty years ago)

No, I meant removal of your own eyeballs, none of this pervy stuff.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Sunday, 22 January 2006 18:03 (twenty years ago)

But I need meine augen for the seeing process! You ask the impossible sir!

― Latham Green (mike), Sunday, 22 January 2006 19:37 (twenty years ago)

My new theory is that you should skip this platonic shite and shag all your attractive friends. OK, it may cause problems with your friendships, but in the long-run friendships never last anyway. so you might as well be friendless but have had a shag. And remember - it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 22 January 2006 20:31 (twenty years ago)

"new theory"

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 22 January 2006 20:38 (twenty years ago)

the way to avoid developing romantic feelings for them is to just fuck them as if they're objects
-- ken c (pykachu10...), January 20th, 2006 7:36 AM. (ken c) (later) (link)
fuck them, flubbings, fuck them hard
-- ken c (pykachu10...), January 20th, 2006 8:27 AM. (ken c) (later) (link)
then you fuck them!
-- ken c (pykachu10...), January 20th, 2006 12:01 PM. (ken c) (later) (link)

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 22 January 2006 20:39 (twenty years ago)

Sorry Ken, I've been stealing your ideas again.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 22 January 2006 20:52 (twenty years ago)

nein Augen?

― nein Socken (nein Socken), Sunday, 22 January 2006 23:15 (twenty years ago)

You can not make a new attractive friend after you are married, unless the friend is also married. Otherwise, any attractive friends must be from before you were married, and even then you have to reduce the friendship. That's just the simple truth, as any proper Victorian would tell you. Spouses are not stupid, they know what's going on.

You can do otherwise, but then you must do it and deal with it, not flubber on and on about it.

― Bertucci, Monday, 23 January 2006 01:25 (twenty years ago)

Flubber! Flubbber !! Fululubber! I think I like Ken's idea better

― Merry Mr Flubbings (mike), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:04 (twenty years ago)

If having sex was more common it would be less important and therefore more common. How do we initiate this vituous circle?

― mei (mei), Monday, 23 January 2006 14:45 (twenty years ago)

NAKED PHOTOS TO [email protected]

HEH.

― mei (mei), Monday, 23 January 2006 14:45 (twenty years ago)

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