Getting back from a run just now, I walk into the lobby of my building. I hear someone coming down the stairs as I walk to the doorway of the staircase. The staircase person gets to the landing: it's a dude with an armload full of gift wrapping stuff. He stops; I stop-- seemingly far enough back to let him pass, but too close to the doorway for him to pass comfortably while carrying all that crap. Instead of me realizing this and then stepping back, he realizes this and steps back to let me go around him up the stairs. Good job, me!
I go out the other night with a classmate to get drinks and listen to some awful jam band playing at a small club. He buys first round. Another classmate shows up a bit later to watch awful jam band with us and buys second round. I fall asleep listening to jam band horseshit, wake up, and they make motions to leave. Not only have I failed to buy third round, but more conspicuously, I make no mention of recompensing at a later date! (Thus, denying myself the social glue that would have ensured the possibility of doing so at a later date. And of course, the very fact that I think I still owe them a round is very non-genteel of me.)
This sort of brutishness has been a source of tension between me and my more well-bred friends in the past-- not necessarily manifesting itself as reflexive selfishness, but as social obtuseness of one stripe or another. Eleven years of growing up around trust fund babies in prep school never really pounded it out of me. If anything, it probably exacerbated the problem as a defensive reaction. Bloody hell. It also comes up when I'm driving-- I'll like as not not listen to the voice of Jiminy Cricket and refuse to allow lane-changers ahead of me, etc., for no good reason.
― Chris F. (servoret), Sunday, 15 January 2006 20:28 (twenty years ago)
I agree-- it's more important that you guys write a good grant proposal before you get started on the research. It's thoughtlessness as much as it is selfishness, really. The "holy fool" is one of those social roles I've learned to play well, unfortunately.
― Chris F. (servoret), Monday, 16 January 2006 09:35 (twenty years ago)
Are you not good enough chums to just assume that this round will be bought next time?
― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 16 January 2006 11:21 (twenty years ago)
Sorta kinda yeah, but maybe not-- I haven't heard from said mates since the evening in question. We'll see.
Reflecting on what I wrote before on the "help, my dad's a perv" thread, it strikes me that "thoughtless" and "selfish" are what describe my dad's behavior in general as I was growing up. This issue really has nothing to do with my prole roots, negative reaction to preppy bullshit aside. Venting on ILX: cheaper than psychotherapy and more effective to boot!
― Chris F. (servoret), Monday, 16 January 2006 13:08 (twenty years ago)
GRUBBY PROLE UPDATE: Obviously, my chums and I are fine. I might be forced to go hear the lame jam band again though, unless I can con them into going to see the Vandermark 5 instead.
― Chris F. (servoret), Thursday, 19 January 2006 07:37 (twenty years ago)