Law proves Paris Hilton is stupid

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From http://tmz.aol.com/article1?id=20060118173609990013

Legal Papers Prove She's No Einstein
Heiress is geographically and verbally challenged
By TMZ.COM STAFF

(Jan. 19) -- TMZ has obtained a Paris Hilton deposition in which the heiress makes it painfully clear -- Greeks and geography are not her strong suits.

The deposition was taken last November, in connection with a defamation lawsuit filed by Zeta Graff against Ms. Hilton. Graff claims Hilton planted lies about her in the New York Post gossip column, Page Six. The item says Graff went "berserk" on a London dance floor last July and allegedly attacked Hilton, trying to remove Paris' multi-million dollar necklace before being tossed from the club.

Hilton admits the incident never took place but denies spreading the lies.

In her deposition, Paris is asked about a companion that night whose first name was Terry. When asked if she knew his last name, Paris replied: "It is like a weird Greek name. Like Douglas."

Paris was also asked if she was aware that the article had been republished in various newspapers. Graff's lawyer, Paul Berra, asked, "Were there U.K. publications?" Hilton responded: "No... there is stuff in London." Paris' lawyer, Larry Stein, jumped in: "London is a U.K. publication." Paris' retort: "Right. U.K. Whatever."

Paris swore she never saw a republication of the article: "I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is like French -- I didn't see anything because I wasn't in America."

Paris testified on the night in question she did have a minor run in with Graff, the former girlfriend of Hilton's then boyfriend Paris Latsis. Hilton stated, "I just said to her... she is old and should stay at home with her child instead of being at night clubs with young people. And just that -- I just - what else did I say? Just that she is not cute at all."

She added that Graff had threatened Latsis: "He said that she threatened to send Mexican people to come and beat the s..t out of him."

Hilton testified that she too was scared: "He said that she was going to do voodoo on me. And I kind of do believe in that stuff a little bit, so I was a little bit scared about that... "

Hilton, who was admonished several times to use the word "no" instead of "huh-uh," had problems explaining emails between herself and her then-publicist, Rob Shuter. Hilton claims she talked to Shuter after the incident and said: "I don't want this getting out..." But Shuter sent Paris the article the day it ran with the note: "This is genius." Paris responded: "You are amazing! I f..... love it!!! You are genius...."

In his earlier deposition, Shuter said that Paris told him essentially what Page Six reported, with this instruction: "She was very clear that this story needed to go her way... we needed to get this out immediately." Shuter says Hilton specifically wanted the item in Page Six and he obliged. In Hilton's deposition, she describes Shuter as "a f...ing liar."

Paris' graphic description of Shuter was not the only departure from a traditional deposition. At one point she blurted out: "I'm so hungry."

Elliot Mintz, Paris' spokesperson, contacted TMZ with this statement: "I was surprised to see you take a few excerpts from a deposition that runs over 200 pages and offer them up in headlines that were clearly intended to publicly embarass Paris." Mintz adds that "Paris has responded in a truthful manner to the questions she was asked," and that "she respects the judicial process."

― Fa Fa fa FA, Fa fa Fa fa FA Fa (poop), Monday, 23 January 2006 01:18 (twenty years ago)

They even did a bit of follow-up:

http://tmz.aol.com/article1?id=20060118184709990001

Paris Under Oath
The crazy things an heiress says
By TMZ.COM STAFF

(Jan. 19) -- The deposition is filled with some pretty stunning comments from the stunning blonde. TMZ highly recommends that you download a copy and read it on a lounge chair during your next vacation. The following are three exerpts:

Paris on friendship:

"I meet so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names."

Paris on women who stalk women:

"I would never say stalking. I'm not a dude. Like, I think a girl can only stalk a guy. She can't really stalk another girl."

Paris on e-mail:

"Whatever I write in e-mail, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write."

― Fa Fa fa FA, Fa fa Fa fa FA Fa (poop), Monday, 23 January 2006 01:19 (twenty years ago)

I love both the media and the american legal system.

― Fa Fa fa FA, Fa fa Fa fa FA Fa (poop), Monday, 23 January 2006 01:19 (twenty years ago)

http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/4638/199531290l9gm.gif

― stockholm cindy (winter version) (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 23 January 2006 01:27 (twenty years ago)

Hahah that gif is great Jody =)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 January 2006 01:34 (twenty years ago)

Now, more than ever, we need Spencer Chow for the defense.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 23 January 2006 01:34 (twenty years ago)

Paris is the most amazing celebrity America's had in ages.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:00 (twenty years ago)

I still think he's just very convincingly pretending to be dumb, and she's really a genius mind.

― Dom iNut (donut), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:15 (twenty years ago)

if she's pretending, that doesn't make her any less repulsive.

― gear (gear), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:31 (twenty years ago)

i thought that about kato kaelin

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:34 (twenty years ago)

until one day

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:47 (twenty years ago)

in a world where nothing was as it seemed

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:48 (twenty years ago)

he does the color commentary for my favorite show on tv these days

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:50 (twenty years ago)

I think she's just playing dumb to lie her way out of situations like this. She's probably used to throwing tantys and getting her way No Matter What. Its that I find kind of nauseating - wouldnt matter if she was smart or not.

She reminds me of Mayor Quimbys horrid nephew from the Simpsons.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 January 2006 02:50 (twenty years ago)

i think she is a dumb girl pretending to be dumb

― estela (estela), Monday, 23 January 2006 03:02 (twenty years ago)

paris hilton is not witty enough to make a "the punch has been spiked" joke

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Monday, 23 January 2006 03:02 (twenty years ago)

Hahah Jess :)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 23 January 2006 03:03 (twenty years ago)

I want the 5 minutes of my life which that animated gif upthread has taken from me. I want them back goddammit.

― Ash (ashbyman), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 03:04 (twenty years ago)

estela otm

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 03:13 (twenty years ago)

yes, it's hard to sum her up better!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 03:14 (twenty years ago)

Paris is the most amazing ~~celebrity America's had in ages.~~ person in the world.

this is just awesome.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 15:18 (twenty years ago)

and that statement re email is completely true.

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 15:36 (twenty years ago)

she makes my skin crawl.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 15:48 (twenty years ago)

oh, this doesnt prove shes not intelligent, just thats shes not smart about normal things and that can always change. i think paris is a peach. general knowledge is highly overrated whereas beauty and money can never be.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 15:54 (twenty years ago)

saussure saying 'language is meaningless' = foundation of philosophical movement
paris hilton saying 'language is meaningless' = let's laugh at the dumb blonde

???

― The Lex (The Lex), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 15:58 (twenty years ago)

Paris testified on the night in question she did have a minor run in with Graff, the former girlfriend of Hilton's then boyfriend Paris Latsis

So the name of Paris' boyfriend is also Paris?

― mei (mei), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 16:54 (twenty years ago)

saussure saying 'language is meaningless' = foundation of philosophical movement
paris hilton saying 'language is meaningless' = let's laugh at the dumb blonde

you're kidding, right?

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 16:56 (twenty years ago)

Paris testified on the night in question she did have a minor run in with Graff, the former girlfriend of Hilton's then boyfriend Paris Latsis
So the name of Paris' boyfriend is also Paris?

-- mei (meirion.lewi...) (webmail), Today 10:54 AM. (mei) (later)

someone hasnt been reading their 'in touch' magazine.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 16:57 (twenty years ago)

saussure saying 'language is meaningless' = foundation of philosophical movement
paris hilton saying 'language is meaningless' = let's laugh at the dumb blonde

Hells yes, every day of the week.

― truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 16:59 (twenty years ago)

So the name of Paris' boyfriend is also Paris?

yeah, jeez! have you been under a rock? and she stole him from mary-kate olsen.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:03 (twenty years ago)

wrong

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:05 (twenty years ago)

god. i guess i didn't give the story the careful attention it deserves!

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:09 (twenty years ago)

CLEARLY.

paris was engaged to paris, a greek shipping magnate (or son thereof - its all very jackie o), but when she met the future parents in law they sure didnt like her and so she came back to america and started boffing another greek shipping magnate's son named stavros who is infinitely less cute but, yes, is mary-kate olsens ex-boyfriend, and now paris and paris are not engaged and miss paris is supposedly dating the other greek guy on and off.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:11 (twenty years ago)

right, right. i got paris and stavros confused. damn foreign names sounding alike.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:16 (twenty years ago)

Okay, far more than I needed.
What the hell would have been their names after marriage?

Mr Paris Latsis-Hilton and Mrs Paris Hilton-Latsis?

― mei (mei), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:18 (twenty years ago)

I'm with Lex on this one! (except abt Saussaure obv) - she is totally an American Hero.

― Gravel Parisworth, Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:18 (twenty years ago)

also, paris and stavros spent nye in las vegas where they got a couple of hotels in a whole lot of trouble because they were partying and he is only 19 and now the hotel are going to get slapped with some massive fines.

they also trashed 100K hotel room. upon receiving the bill stavros dumped paris but soon came back with a proposal and she said 'thats hot' and now theyre engaged.

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:24 (twenty years ago)

http://www.wbnx.com/shows/gg/413_bio_gg_paris.jpg

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:24 (twenty years ago)

she is totally an American Hero

There's a certain x=x thing here which is enjoyably glib but otherwise kinda ridiculous. And admitting it's ridiculous doesn't explain or excuse it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:28 (twenty years ago)

saussure saying 'language is meaningless' = let's laugh at the dumb blonde

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Elliot Mintz is Paris Hilton's spokesperson? The same Elliot Mintz who worked for John Lennon?

― kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:42 (twenty years ago)

well, i know people who don't know/care much about history, geography, politics, etc who i consider quite intelligent (and much funnier than the many others i know who have master's degrees...).
i mean, the exact kind of things paris says i've already heard and they don't make the person saying those more stupid than other people.
to make it simple : i kinda like paris !

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:46 (twenty years ago)

and anyway, she isn't saying 'language is meaningless', quite obviously. she's saying 'if i render myself unconscious of my past actions, i need not be troubled to explore what my motivation was and i can continue to live a life free of any responsibility whatsoever'.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:47 (twenty years ago)

denial is a girl's best friend

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:51 (twenty years ago)

"it doesn't mean anything. It is just words"

how many great songs don't say much more than this...

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:54 (twenty years ago)

If I never heard another word about Ms. Hilton, it would be too many. And yes, this may be somewhat attributable to jealousy. But seriously? She seems to be a vaccuum into which money and relevance are sucked, never to return.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 17:56 (twenty years ago)

She's certainly a good argument for a fairer distribution of wealth in society.

― mei (mei), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 18:01 (twenty years ago)

She's certainly a good argument for a fairer distribution of wealth in society.

don't her parents pay a lot of taxes on their fortune ? (real question, don't know how it works in the US but in France there's a specific tax for that).

― AleXTC (AleXTC), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 18:04 (twenty years ago)

is that the bâtard riche tax?

i thought the whole point of america was that you could get filthy dirty stinking rich and be famous for it

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 18:09 (twenty years ago)

It depends upon how its structured, but probably. If they are merely trust beneficiaries, then they prolly don't pay all that much. I am unsure as to how much the press includes by the way of trusts and other amounts that are not necessarily accessible by the beneficiary when they calculate the "How Much They're Worth" lists, but I would be willing to bet that Paris gets
- a healthy monthly allowance from a trust fund
- NO access to the trust corpus, or seed, that produces the income for the allowance.
If her parents were also beneficiaries of a trust (more than likely) the money will be taxed at a lower rate b/c it comes to them periodically and is not taxed as a lump sum

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 18:10 (twenty years ago)

Nicole Richie looked good on the cover of Lucky recently. As good as she's ever looked.

― andy --, Tuesday, 24 January 2006 18:16 (twenty years ago)

how many generations of billionaire do you need to transcend the nouveaux riches into old money?

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 18:17 (twenty years ago)

The short cut is to endow a chair at an Ivy League university.

Other than that, so long as you don't go buying new Ferraris and yachts every other year, you're good. Billions puts you in a whole other realm, above the mere millionaires.

― Big Loud Mountain Ape (Big Loud Mountain Ape), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 18:34 (twenty years ago)

There's a certain x=x thing here which is enjoyably glib but otherwise kinda ridiculous. And admitting it's ridiculous doesn't explain or excuse it.

Ned I just genuinely think she's vibrantly great! I think she and Rees&Ryan are the only celebrities who feel a genuine debt to the world that makes them famous, which they discharge in very different ways, and I think Paris' solution (of striving to live the life that love-hate celeb culture demands, of convincing me that she thinks of Paris Hilton, as a famous person, exactly like the rest of us do) is the more charmingly-overornate (I'm not saying she doesn't get help with it). I do genuinely think that, daft as it is.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 19:16 (twenty years ago)

I think where you and I differ is your belief that she believes in this debt/solution approach.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 19:29 (twenty years ago)

sunny, in america maybe one or two - in england, dozens

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 19:36 (twenty years ago)

I think she's pretty fucking hilarious. I want to hate her, but I laugh my ass off every time I hear some new antic. She has made her personal life into entertainment for us common people, whether she ever meant to or not. To me she represents a physical manifestation of the Ugly American. Or maybe a perfect mascot for what our country has become in the last decade or so. She's a cynical, selfish, vapid, sassy, genuinely funny, foul-mouthed, untalented, slutty, "rich giggling cunt" (as David Cross hilariously put it), who apparently has no conscience whatsoever. She is the first major celeb I can think of that doesn't do shit. She got famous from a reality show about being herself. The show continues daily on every gossip show and article in the country.

― chaos theory, Wednesday, 25 January 2006 01:05 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I've got to say, being famous merely for existing and dressing questionably and picking poorly in relationships is something I have aspired to my entire life.

― Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 01:08 (twenty years ago)

i really wish ILX would not apply the rules of popism to people.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 01:10 (twenty years ago)

She's a trainwreck. I think she'll die abruptly at a young age, but who knows. Maybe she'll be the next Joan Rivers if/when she gets old.

― chaos theory, Wednesday, 25 January 2006 01:11 (twenty years ago)

Gear, I heart you.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 01:11 (twenty years ago)

You know, I want to hate her... and I succeed.

― truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 02:12 (twenty years ago)

paris as a media presence is sort of interesting in what she says about the evolution of the aristocracy (to be an aristocrat now is to be famous and on tv and even on the internet fucking).

paris as a person seems like the type who could, given enough power to abuse, inspire whole new generations of guillotine builders.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 04:16 (twenty years ago)

"rich giggling cunt" (as David Cross hilariously put it)

Not to defend Hilton, but Cross is far too much of a boring douchebag to rag on anyone else.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 04:21 (twenty years ago)

Paris is a good example of how fame alone provides virtue these days.

"HOW DO I SHOT MIND?"

― Latham Green (mike), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 05:39 (twenty years ago)

"alone" "virtue" "these days"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 05:46 (twenty years ago)

I am puzzle d by the above post!

― Latham Green (mike), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 05:48 (twenty years ago)

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