Porridge, Classic / Dud ?

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The food, not the TV Programme.

Been having porridge, 3 morns out of 4 for a couple months now, and now ITV Breakfast has it that it's the breakfast of the stars, like Sophie Dahl, and someone else as tall I missed the name of. What the hell, Nicole Kidman then.

Cut to Outside Broadcast, where scottish presenter girul buys and eats some and oh it's lovely.

So, now it's officially trendy, where you?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:08 (twenty years ago)

... I hope you've been putting salt on it

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:10 (twenty years ago)

... see even when we produce healthy food, Scots have to find some way of making it unhealthy

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:10 (twenty years ago)

Oh dear lord, I wish it wasn't trendy. I wouldn't be able to function without my Scots Oats in the morning.

(But I was ahead of the curve! I've been a porridge devotee since I was 3!)

Hang on, we've had a thread about this before, haven't we, because I remember posting about the waiter in the hotel in Durban who was astonished because he'd never seen a little girl eat so much porridge before?

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:10 (twenty years ago)

...except I just realised that I don't have Scots Oats in the morning, I have Sainsburys Organic Scottish Oats. I like the Scots Oats box because it calls it Poradge or something oddly spelled and has a picture of RJG on the box.

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:12 (twenty years ago)

Scott's Porage Oats!

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:12 (twenty years ago)

x-post

Maybe that was a thread about astonished waiters?

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:13 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, I forgot how to spell:

http://www.english-shop.net/catalog/images/scots500g1.jpg

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:13 (twenty years ago)

Stop porridge stop! Horrible stuff.

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:14 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, realised it was on a Watercooler thread that we were discussing lovely lovely porridge.

Oatmeal, Cream of Wheat, Maltabella, BRING IT ON!!!

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:15 (twenty years ago)

I like Ready Brek when I was young, probably because of the fab Glow in the Dark Stickers that cmae free, and the different flavours (mmmm, chocolate)

I haven't had my oats for ages.....

I used to love having cereal with hot milk. Hot, soggy sugary cornflake mush. Sublime.

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:15 (twenty years ago)

Vile stuff.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:16 (twenty years ago)

I also used to make cookie porridge out of warm milk and tea biscuits. Yum!

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:16 (twenty years ago)

Is gruel the same as porridge?

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:19 (twenty years ago)

Imagine waking up to some lovely P-Orridge of a morning:

http://throbbing-gristle.com/CHRISCARTER/files/pix/Gen75.jpg

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:20 (twenty years ago)

Eeeww, I've totally lost my appetite now.

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:21 (twenty years ago)

That picture looks like Ant (or is it Dec?).

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:22 (twenty years ago)

Eeeww, I've totally lost my appetite now.

Count yourself lucky I didn't post some recent photos of the silly old fool

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:23 (twenty years ago)

Mmmm, cookie porridge....

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:24 (twenty years ago)

Ack! Ack! S/he scares me now. Truly. His lips are so collagenned out, he can't actually sing any more.

Anyway, let's not speak of that. Let's speak of THIS:

http://images.netrition.com/images/oatmeal_bowl.jpg

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:25 (twenty years ago)

That's the best Gen pic I've seen for ages.

Still, he's yours. As in "I don't fancy yours"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:25 (twenty years ago)

My parents have porridge most mornings, and after my mum's made it she puts the bowl in to soak. The cat *loves* to drink the porridgey water from the bowl, so much so that every morning he sits on the edge of the kitchen sink waiting for it.

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:26 (twenty years ago)

Now I'm totally wanting porridge again, even though I only just had some about 3 hours ago. I have it every morning, with a sprinkle of brown sugar, and some nuts (pecan, walnut, brazil), and a chopped banana.

I might go out and get a flapjack to stave off the oatslust.

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:29 (twenty years ago)

His lips are so collagenned out, he can't actually sing any more.

Touching that you actually think he could sing before!

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:29 (twenty years ago)

OK, I'll change that to "he can't actually *speak* any more, let alone sing".

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:31 (twenty years ago)

Mmmmm. I don't like porridge that much myself (although savoury porridge with no sugar, a pinch of salt and rather a lot of ginger is very good) - but flapjack is GRATE

(xxpost)

― Forest Pines (ForestPines), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:32 (twenty years ago)

Haha at that gporidge pic, inevitable comparison:

Porridge = yum.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:53 (twenty years ago)

Is gruel the same as porridge?

Apparently not. Gruel is made with millet, not oats.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:55 (twenty years ago)

(xpost) Yeah, I've always thought it was interesting that Genesis P-Orridge and the singer from Genesis had the same haircut at the same time - never really explained that one did you Gen? So, who had the stupid idea for that stupid haircut first?

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:57 (twenty years ago)

Haircut? I thought it was male pattern balding!

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Anyway, enough with the throbbing gristle, and more with the throbbing oatmeal!

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 11:59 (twenty years ago)

Definitely classic but much debatable variation. Take brown sugar or salt? Milk? -- and if so, how much? I like mine slapped in the microwave with brown sugar and heated chopped bananas -- maybe even a few sultanas, maple syrup.

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:14 (twenty years ago)

Defintely dud = clearing burnt porridge scrapings from saucepan.

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:15 (twenty years ago)

I tend to make it quite liquid enough (with milk) that I don't need to add extra milk. Because that would cool it down and it needs to be piping hot!

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:17 (twenty years ago)

Hmm, first there's a story about Haggis being as bad as junk food, now we hear about how great porridge is. Burns Night wouldn't be approaching, would it?

I have Oatsosimple for breakfast a couple of times a week and I never get hungry before lunchtime when I do. It's lovely stuff.

Gruel is made with oats, isn't it? But water rather than milk and it's a lot thinner I think. The wonderful Radiation Cookery Book has a recipe in the Invalid Foods section, so I'll try and remember to look it up.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:22 (twenty years ago)

is it totally wrong to make porridge with just water and a microwave if you see what i mean? it certainly doesn't taste as nice as it's supposed to when you do that...

― barbarian cities (jaybob3005), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:24 (twenty years ago)

Must be eaten with salt! Anything else is for soft Southern Sassenachs!

― Vicious Cop Kills Gentle Fool (Dada), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:25 (twenty years ago)

Porridge = ace. Water, bit of salt, drop of milk to cool it off a bit before scoffing. I am down with a bit of sweet stuff, be it sugar or golden syrup, but it still needs the salt. Other good adulterants: whisky, ginger, ginger and whisky.

― RickyT (RickyT), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:27 (twenty years ago)

I'm dying for a bowl now. Would just have it with milk and honey, though addition of bananas and/or ginger works for me.

― Sororah T Massacre (blueski), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:31 (twenty years ago)

Ginger and whiskey in porridge... aaaahhh, now that is a glorious idea! Must try this tomorrow!

(except the only whiskey I've got is Laphroaig)

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:38 (twenty years ago)

porridge with cream is grrrrreat. The cream makes it tasty and undoes all that healthiness.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 12:53 (twenty years ago)

I always associate porridge with cream with the episode of the ABC warriors where General Blackblood attacks Bougainville, as I was reading that when eating it for the first time.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 13:12 (twenty years ago)

I love the idea of it: hearty, warming, traditional - what could go wrong? If only it didn't taste nasty and the texture didn't remind me of babyfood. There are better breakfasts in the world than this.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 13:12 (twenty years ago)

Like Choco Straws?

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 13:15 (twenty years ago)

That wasn't the 1st thing that sprang to mind, no . . .

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 13:16 (twenty years ago)

Uh, Golden Grahams?

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 13:27 (twenty years ago)

Laphroaig would make for interesting porridge, aye, but not necessarily in a bad way. It's worth an experiment.

― RickyT (RickyT), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 13:39 (twenty years ago)

Well, it has to be opened for Burns Night, anyway, so I might put some in my porridge tomorrow... :-)

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 13:40 (twenty years ago)

(It would probably actually be quite nice and smokey!)

― The Late Fear And The Potato Fear (kate), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 13:40 (twenty years ago)

http://www.allystrip.com/photos/article/article_News%20-%20Uncle%20Tobys%20Oats.jpg

Aye, it's delicious - but that's no' how y' make porridge!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!! (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:02 (twenty years ago)

hahaha

id forgotten about that

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:55 (twenty years ago)

mmm...warm puke

― sunny successor (katharine), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:56 (twenty years ago)

How to avoid burnt pan scraping (& burnt mouth):

1 cup porridge, 1 cup milk, 1 cup water, salt.
Bring to boil, then turn off heat. Go away & make coffee, have a shave etc. After 5 mins pour out, add honey & a bit more milk. Eat.
It should be cooked perfectly, nicely cooled & the pan can be rinsed in water.

― bham, Wednesday, 25 January 2006 15:03 (twenty years ago)

fifteen years pass...

Goldilocks goes to the house of the three bears and eats their porridge, this is canon.

But in America, porridge is called "oatmeal"

So, my question is, for Americans reading this, do you

a) say she ate their "porridge" and kids only find out later (if at all) that porridge means oatmeal

b) say she ate porridge and actually small American children somehow know what porridge is, thanks

c) actually say that goldilocks ate the three bears' "oatmeal" - which does not sound right at all to be but idk

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 13:43 (four years ago)

porridge is probably what they call trachanas, the yankee swine!!!!

― he ain't perfect but fuck me he's a rheillee (imago), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 14:11 (four years ago)

definitely (a). i didn't find out until like last year that porridge was oatmeal. i was picturing cream of wheat or something.

― criminally negligible (harbl), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 14:12 (four years ago)

I'm not even sure what cream of wheat is tbh

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 15:22 (four years ago)

I almost accidently ordered an oatmeal based dairy-free banana milkshake the other day. Probably made by one of those companies featured on the Innocent Smoothies aesthetic thread. Ban this sick filth!

― calzino, Wednesday, 8 September 2021 15:44 (four years ago)

a) and I did not know porridge was oatmeal until now

― papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 15:53 (four years ago)

cream of wheat or this
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91Zi31mp2dL.jpg

― criminally negligible (harbl), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 16:01 (four years ago)

or THIS
https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61dnqqSBw4L._SR500,500_.jpg

― criminally negligible (harbl), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 16:02 (four years ago)

I'm not even sure what cream of wheat is tbh

it's a brand name for farina.

― it is to laugh, like so, ha! (Aimless), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 16:49 (four years ago)

I just rediscovered Malt-O-Meal last weekend.. with berries, butter, a little milk, a pinch of salt & brown sugar

― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 8 September 2021 16:53 (four years ago)

oh america :(

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/55/Cream_of_Wheat_advertisement.jpg

― edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 16:57 (four years ago)

oh nooooo. i knew there was controversy over the box but asdlfksgl;gjgl;j

― criminally negligible (harbl), Wednesday, 8 September 2021 16:58 (four years ago)

Looks like Mrs Butterworths still comes in the Mammy bottle:

https://www.mrsbutterworths.com/

― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 8 September 2021 17:01 (four years ago)

four years pass...

I've been making oatmeal/porridge as my go-to breakfast for a few years. Only recently, though, have I been getting serious on the salt. I always added just a dash -- now I've started adding in a healthy pinch from my little salt bowl. Wow! That's what I've been missing.

My recipe: 1/2 cup oats (1/4 cup rolled oats, 1/4 quick oats), sprinkle of bran, 1/2 cup coconut milk, 1/2 water, pinch salt. Bring to boil and simmer for 3-5 mins. Add maple syrup and a bit of milk if too thick.

That'll take you places.

― Sam Weller, Tuesday, 9 September 2025 08:15 (nine months ago)

bring to the boil, eh?
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/sep/05/experience-i-am-the-world-porridge-making-champion

― ledge, Tuesday, 9 September 2025 12:56 (nine months ago)

xp coconut milk from a can or coconut milk beverage?

― Kim Kimberly, Tuesday, 9 September 2025 13:45 (nine months ago)

The Alpro stuff -- 'coco tropical' (with rice).

xp I need to get an oatmeal thermometer...

― Sam Weller, Tuesday, 9 September 2025 14:31 (nine months ago)

From that Guardian article:

...the research I found suggested that above 92C [the oats] start to burst, which creates a sort of wallpaper paste texture

I like it paste-y, personally

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 9 September 2025 15:25 (nine months ago)

Here's my method

1. Heat one IKEA plastic cup of porridge and three IKEA plastic cups of water
2. Add a healthy pinch of salt and bring towards the boil, stirring when you remember
3. Turn it down to simmer before it actually boils
4. Simmer for around five minutes or until you get bored or hungry. Stir sometimes but don't go crazy.
5. Stir in a splash of milk and keep simmering until it's too hot to eat.
6. Put in a bowl.
7. Pour a milk moat around the edge of the porridge.
8. Add your toppings -- for me it's another pinch of salt, maple syrup and chia seeds
9. Eat while still slightly unpleasantly hot, or much too cold
10. Eat cold congealed bits in pot before washing up

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 9 September 2025 15:33 (nine months ago)

The food, not the TV Programme.

See I thought this thread was going to be about the TV programme. Anyway...

1 - put oats in bowl
2 - add milk
3 - put oats, milk, and bowl in microwave for 1 minute on full power
4 - take bowl etc. out of microwave, stir in half a dessert spoon of sugar
5 - put bowl etc. back in microwave for 30 seconds on full power (40 seconds if it's winter)

This isn't as good texturally as doing the porridge in a saucepan on the stove, but it's way less time and trouble.

― you gotta roll with the pączki to get to what's real (snoball), Tuesday, 9 September 2025 16:41 (nine months ago)

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