If you think you might fancy someone, but suspect the said person is homosexual (while you're straight), how do you find it out without things getting awkward?

Revive.

Are there any discreet ways to handle a situation like this? Let's assume this hypothetical person isn't stereotypically straight, but not stereotypically lesbian either. And that you don't really have any common friends from whom you could ask about it. And that asking her about her sexual orientation would be kinda awkward.

Discreetly ask her out?

say "are you a goer?"

yeah just ask her out

Well yeah, but I'd like to find out whether or not she's lesbian before asking her out, to spare me of potential embarrassment.

(x-post)

Start air-humping, "I CAN SHAG YOU TO OBLIVION. If you're a lesbian, I'll make you switch sides"

If she's a lesbian, you don't have to blame it on your lack of beauty.

It's a WIN WIN situation really!

Just kidding, so what, just ask her out.

awkwardness isn't fatal, you know. It's a staple of my life.

show them flash cards of nude males and nude females

How is this any more embarrassing than asking out someone who is into your gender where you don't know if they like you or not? The worst-case scenario in either case is that she turns you down.

"Discreetly ask her out?"

slip her one... paper

Srsly I remember how awful "courting" is. I feel for you. Really.

You could ask her really tactfully. Point at the carpet and say "munch munch munch"

I've had girls ask me "do you like boys or girls before?" and found it quite a nice expression of interest.

asking someone out is awkward anyway, i don't really see how this makes it any more so, really.

yeah why would this be embarrassing? it'd be rather worse if she were straight and thought you were dull

Maybe he thinks it's a compliment.

"do you like boys or girls before?"

always before, less frequently after.

Yeah, if she turns you down at least you can say, "Well, she doesn't like men anyway"

Assuming yr male:

Well, it's still down to the feedback you get from her, in response to flirting, etc. She might be totally relaxed about such things, and yet this might be because there isn't any chance of it being misconstrued. these being:
1) She is in a relationship and you both know it
2) You are in a relationship and you both know it
3) Sexual proclivities prohibit it and you both know it.
4) You both want some.

So, next stage is more about the meaningful connection. At this stage, what happens:
1) One or other goes "whoa" and politely retreats.
2) YBWS.

Taking scenario 1, as 2 is all easystreet...

No particular reason need be given. Maybe she doesn't fancy you 'in that way', it doesn't matter is she's les or not. Maybe she likes taller dudes, more serious types, etc.

I realise you need to know whether or not you are 'wasting yr time' early on, but it's like a myriad investments, what you get in payoff reaps returns to absolve the ones that didn't.

Anyway, that's all assuming yr a guy. If you are a girl, she will work out if you are a les before the level of possible friendship is established. Man, that one's less complicated or what?

i think it's easier to ask a girl if she likes boys than if she likes me

That was mega xposted. It took some time to type that, sosume.

The only awkwardness is the awkwardness you put into it, so ask her out.

Oh dear. My "before" was misplaced.

anyway, in summary:

The awkwardness part will be handled with due decorem and ease. She'll have handled this before.

No doubt with a "hey, if I wasn't, you know, but.."

if they're heterosexual does it mean they'll definitely want to shag you

"Do you like bro's or ho's before?"

Make sure she provides backup:

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/features/dating/blog/sonjasohn.jpg

Just ask, if you get shot down for whatever reason, say you were just kidding. Girls love when guys do that.

And hell, even if she says yes, say you were just kidding. Show her who is boss.

Has she made some comment that makes you think she might be?

Well, she was tongueing her girlfriend. Hence the doubt.

Worst-case scenario: She's not a lesbian, but becomes one after you ask her out.

Girl approaches me one night and asks what was i photographing, I tell her and we chat for a bit. Few weeks later, bump into her on way home from work and start chatting again. Thought to myself, she’s nice, I’ll ask her out for a drink. She says she’s gay, but would still like to go for a pint and gave me her number.
I never phoned!

Or as she's saying yes you get a phone call that all of your friends have died from eating poisonous mushrooms.

goodwin would have called her.

reverse case: one time this lesbian asked me for my number, and i asked one of her friends "why did she do that?", and she said "she probably wants to make out with you."

Did she call?

no :(

Isn't the usual solution to this -- apart from just asking anyway -- to introduce some sort of conversation about people's dating history? I don't know that it has to be that more complicated than the way that people are constantly (e.g.) checking whether other people are single or not without explicitly asking.

goodwin would have called her.

― ogmor,

ha!

Worst-case scenario: She's not a lesbian, but becomes one after you ask her out.

― Sorry that's the implant talking (libcrypt), Thursday, 26 March 2009 17:24 (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

or BEST scenario depending on how you look at it..

awkwardness isn't fatal, you know. It's a staple of my life.

It's true, I would find it strange now to go through a day without some kind of awkwardness. I don't think just asking the person out would be the worst thing in the world.