personality 101

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I'm an unattractive, balding, pudgy nerd. I am addicted to porn, and most women with any class won't tolerate me. I'm insecure, so I lash out in a very obnoxious way whenever I feel the slightest challenge. I have a massive chip on my shoulder. I am relocating to a new city and I need a fresh start. Please help me.

― leo laundros, Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:05 (twenty years ago)

deja vu

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:10 (twenty years ago)

try to cut down on snacks?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:10 (twenty years ago)

George Costanza?

― jayson alexandria, Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:17 (twenty years ago)

read some buddhist stuff?

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:19 (twenty years ago)

try to cut down on snacks?
-- Huk-L

yes, don't eat that massive chip, leave it on your shoulder.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:26 (twenty years ago)

also, if dear old paunchy stratego is not too busy mending vibrators he might be able to help you with your addiction problem, he is a bit of an expert.

― estela (estela), Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:28 (twenty years ago)

Join the marines?

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:31 (twenty years ago)

http://static.flickr.com/22/32469019_c3f943e91f_m.jpg

― Lenny and Squiggy Present Lenny and the Squigtones (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 16 February 2006 05:45 (twenty years ago)

http://www.net-detective-download.us/women-on-internet.jpg

― inert false cat (sleep), Thursday, 16 February 2006 06:39 (twenty years ago)

I don't know, guys.....

I do have a friend in the city I'm moving to, back east. he's really more than a friend, he's been a mentor/father figure. but i think i've picked up some of my worst traits from him, he's a prickly old know-it-all. He turns off more people than I do! I'm reasonably intelligent, but I'm very self-conscious about my lack of higher education. Maybe I should go back to school? I need something to do instead of rubbing my dick raw every night....

― leo laundros, Thursday, 16 February 2006 07:44 (twenty years ago)

try crosswords or jumbles

― Ty Rone, Friday, 17 February 2006 04:24 (twenty years ago)

sudoku

― def zep (calstars), Friday, 17 February 2006 04:44 (twenty years ago)

Good god, man, get a grip on yourself!

You don't need help, you need a dog. Two dogs. Definitely two. They could live in your kitchen. They could sleep in a box lined with old blankets. You could feed them dry food and table scraps. And you could breed them. That's the ticket! And you could train and show the best of the puppies and sell the rest.

Don't hang back and give me that look, mister! I know what I'm talking about. And don't worry. You'll get the hang of it. Puppy mills have saved many a porn addict and internet loser.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 17 February 2006 05:48 (twenty years ago)

Thanks for the advice! I'm a little worried, because I'm moving to NYC, and the apartments tend to be small, but I could get 2 dogs. I might not be home much either - I got a sweet new gig at an internet music company, but maybe I could swing it. Anything to give my weary member a rest......

― leo laundros, Friday, 17 February 2006 06:33 (twenty years ago)

Wake me when we get to the punchline.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 February 2006 07:33 (twenty years ago)

most women with any class won't tolerate me.

This worries me. Do you think that any woman who does tolerate you does not have any class?

― Paunchy Stratego (kenan), Friday, 17 February 2006 07:36 (twenty years ago)

"Good god, man, get a grip on yourself!"

Dude, i think he is "gripping" himself, that's the problem.

― folderol12, Friday, 17 February 2006 07:36 (twenty years ago)

xpost

well, I'm a socially inept slob, and most women seem to find me unbearable. Sure, I do meet the occasional low self-esteem geeky gal who puts up with my act momentarily, but eventually, I even scare them off. And that leaves me, well, you know....

― leo laundros, Friday, 17 February 2006 07:49 (twenty years ago)

have you considered going to the gay?

― Ragin' Hardon, Saturday, 18 February 2006 06:42 (twenty years ago)

Have you considered a pet?

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Saturday, 18 February 2006 06:48 (twenty years ago)

although I'm fat & ugly, don't count me out! I am a good cook from a fucked-up welfare family. Prince Rules!

― leo laundros, Monday, 20 February 2006 07:33 (twenty years ago)

toss the porn.... it's too convenient. get exercise... for your health, appearance, ...and getting outside is good and exercise is good for getting the old chemicals sloshed around. volunteer at your local soup kitchen.... there are others worse off than you... plus, i think charity is a sure fire creator of the kind of class you can't buy.... if some girl can't see that, they're the suck anyway.

other than that, be yourself. jerks and jackasses unite!
m.

― msp (mspa), Monday, 20 February 2006 15:27 (twenty years ago)

xbox
weed
sweatpants

― voice of reason, Monday, 20 February 2006 16:28 (twenty years ago)

sheet music

― senseiDancer (sexyDancer), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:50 (twenty years ago)

sweatpant boner

― Mestema (davidcorp), Monday, 20 February 2006 16:51 (twenty years ago)

thanks for all the advice, now if I could only help my alcoholic buddy/sidekick who lives down south, what a miserable guy he is. I feel sorry for his wife in that little college town.

― leo laudros, Wednesday, 22 February 2006 07:05 (twenty years ago)

Hey! Aren't you the guy that's been sending me all of those informational emails on Cialis?

― John Justen (johnjusten), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 16:23 (twenty years ago)

where are the funnies?

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Wednesday, 22 February 2006 16:25 (twenty years ago)

it must be the sign o' the times!

― leo laundros, Wednesday, 22 February 2006 22:48 (twenty years ago)

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