Crying!!!

My shrink told me that I should let myself cry if I wanted to, and go somewhere til the tears run themselves out, but he's rubbish and that's not always an option, you know?

I don't know how to stop tears when they're angry ones, I'm afraid. I've already had one cry today but it wasn't anger, just frustration and tiredness mainly.

Which is er, kind of really bad.

xpost - that's *not* good though is it dl, when you're angry at someone you want to have it out all angrily, not let them defuse things by sympathising/laughing!

http://www.hat.hi-ho.ne.jp/schwa/image/schwa2.jpg

I KNOW NOW WHY U CRY

My eyes water a lot though. Especially if I'm laughing or if I'm embarrassed. And I find that really annoying. Perhaps it wouldn't happen if I cried more.

*phone rings*

In domestic squabbling I can catch myself lapsing into drama and over the years have learned to at least try to stick to the facts. A lot of love-spat tears are manipulative. SEE! See how I SUFFER!!!!!!

Workplace tears are different. I think they're pretty unstoppable. I don't know if there is help. Maybe ice on the face afterwards, and also finding a new job.

In domestic squabbling I can catch myself lapsing into drama and over the years have learned to at least try to stick to the facts. A lot of love-spat tears are manipulative. SEE! See how I SUFFER!!!!!!

That's *SO* not always true though. This is one of the worst reasons that I hate that I cry when I'm angry, because past boyfriend has interpreted this as me being "low level manipulative" when nothing could be further than the truth - I was ANGRY as fuck, and the tears negated anything I was saying.

i think if you are actually in the middle of trying to make a point it is good to fight through tears to make it. it's very powerful and makes you look strong instead of weak.

See, this is the thing. I DON'T REALLY CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT THESE THINGS, just my tear ducts work all the time, so it seems like I do. I cry over all sorts of things: laughing too hard, watching a funeral, cutting onions, any kind of physical shock like stubbing a toe or being winded, being in a frustrating meeting...

It is wrong to think that tears are a sign of emotional imbalance. I prefer Estela's term expressive.

I suppose I am quite lucky though because it does not affect my ability to talk, just my eyes pour water. Sometimes yoga like concentration on breathing can stop it, usually it just plays itself out.

That said, I also cry like proper emotional snorking quite a bit too, but that is usually in the privacy of my own home and for reasons I will not go into. I think this does make you feel calmer afterwards. Though also red and headachey.

If you are standing around with tears streaming down your face people assume you are crying and emotionally overwrought while from the inside it just means "damn, I missed the bus" or "the privet is flowering"

What's PMT? Pre-Menstrual Tension? PreMenstrual Teariness? Is this a typo? PMS?

Andrew, how does one sort out their 'emotional responsibilities'?

I hate that I get worked up enough to cry over certain things, confrontation, frustration, sheer anger, and I hate that once I feel it welling there is nothing I can do to stop it.

It always seems to be other people who set it off in me (although I often cry alone if I've just left a confrontation with someone)

On the other hand however I find it very hard to cry at movies, books, memories. I've rarely had pain so bad that it has made me cry. I doubt I could make myself cry even if I thought my hardest about deceased relatives, dead pets etc.

If it were simply a case of choosing when was appropiate to cry, well, that's when manipulation comes into it.

It makes me cry at ridiculous things. I cried on the train today when COBE nearly got cancelled after the Space Shuttle disaster (in Simon Singh's Big Bang), even though I *know* that it all worked out in the end because I'd *seen* maps of the CMB variations in the papers. It was just such dramatic tension. I wish I were kidding. I totally teared up, it was embarrassing.

It's not being "mentally unbalanced" or whatever, it's just called being sensitive. I think people that don't cry are mentally unbalanced. I think people who don't get engaged, emotionally, by online communities are totally suspect. But whatever, that's why there's chocolate and vanilla.

not all online communities are the same, i am engaged by some and emotionally destroyed by others. not that i understand what you mean.

myspace is hardly engaging.

I also cry at movies and emotional memories. At my son's high school graduation a girl with extreme cerebral palsy received a spontaneous standing ovation from her classmates as she struggled up to the podium, assisted by her father, to get her diploma. It was four years ago, and I STILL can't talk about it (or ever type about it) without tearing up.

i prefer to think about Rip Torn myself. Aww Artie! Here. Have a Salty Dog.

I tend to go into shut down mode (or what the life coaches on 'starting over' call 'isolating' - hi rhonda!) rather than cry. Does anyone ever cry over certain things when they aren't sad or angry? I find myself tearing up when I'm reading/watching/listening to anything about the American Revolution. It makes no sense whatsoever. Im not sad, not mad, and its about as engaging as reading the back of a seed packet but uh-oh here come the waterworks. Bizarre. Maybe I was King George in a past life. Peeing pink, going crazy and hating on the colonies.

Em gets like this. She'd like not to be.

i can't remember the last time i cried :(

I cry over happy things a lot. Seeing the crowds of people cheering on election night always tears me up. A wedding, absolutely. When sad obviously, sometimes when frustrated. Never when angry anymore which is good as that often leads to people not taking you very seriously.

Crying in public is extraordinarily humiliating for me. Nothing makes me feel more like a helpless, useless little kid.

I have the opposite problem. Sometimes I really need a good cry but it just doesn't happen.

I will donate to you half of my ability to cry in a sensitivectomy transplant/donor surgery.

The worst is when a good cry lacks the useful catharsis that often comes afterward. This usually happens when crying myself to sleep.

Also the words "Don't cry" are a magic incantation that make me instantly sob like crazy.

Speak of the fucking devil, just got done with a 15-minute in-public crying jab.

I did have a quiet place to go, tho, the rarely frequented lounge in the fourth floor of the biology dept. building. But terrified the whole time someone wld walk in and talk to me.

Fuck, I feel like ass grande.

Upset and mad. I had difficulty not throwing shit across the room at these belligerent assholes who kept fucking talking over the prof and who were making like obscene gestures at me. And the prof laughed it off when I talked to him after class about it. So I limped off like a kicked puppy and cried ahoy.

Wait, a puppy that speaks pirate?!

Sailors are salty dogs, it's well known.

i cry at anything - i cry at music a lot, a lot, very obvious chord sequences that say 'sad' and huge synthpoppy dnce tracks that say 'euphoric' and i cried quite recently watching, like, obama speeches on youtube and felt like the wussiest girl in the world.

when i was coming home from japan and stupidly strung out I remember crying trying to sort out my health insurance forms, in the council building, and feeling so so ashamed of my waterworks and incapable of explaining myself and that just made me cry more, and people were kind to me and that made me cry even more, and the nice man behind the desk said weakly 'don't cry' and made it even worse, and, wow, one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.

i'm so jealous of people that can have a good cry. i get a little choked up at certain things and feel like i'm gonna set off, but it just doesn't happen.

I wish I could have good cries under the circumstances in which they are called for, not like whatever tips me off. A change in barometric pressure? The east wind? who knows.

The last good cry i had where i was actually shaking and couldn't speak was about 7 years ago :(

I am still crying. This is just impractical at best.

Try yawning. For the longest time, whenever I was about to have a nice cry, I'd just start yawning.

the east wind sounds a likely suspect.

can you go somewhere cold, Abbot? sometimes cold fresh air helps me not start crying again, though the problem is finding somewhere out of people's sight.

I am in library where it is always safe & slightly drafty.

I should really learn to stfu, sorry all.

Why fight it? Just cry it out.

I felt quite sad watching Obama speeches on youtube too, just like, the sense that even though I really felt moved by his delivery and who he is, that the world was never going to be a particularly great place.