"Rescue 911" hosted by William Shatner.

I did love watching this show with my parents. One episode that I can still remember to this day is the one about the boy who got his tongue stuck in the freezer. He was babysitting, and I guess he went to the freezer to get some ice cream or something. For whatever reason, it was ALL the way in the back of the freezer, and as he was reaching back to get it, he stuck his tongue out and it froze immediately to the ice that had accumulated. (It apparently was not a self-defrosting freezer) So there he was, tongue stuck to the freezer. Somehow he was able to signal to the little kid he was babysitting to get him the phone, and he called 911. Then he had to try to tell them what happened: Operator: "911, what is your emergency?" Boy: "Na ton ish tuc to the thweeza" And on and on it went, with the kid trying to talk, and the operator trying to understand him. It was so hilarious to watch, and even funnier to see how the 911 operator was so serious about it, and then the cops who finally responded trying hard not to laugh, and then pouring hot water on his tongue to "defrost" it. What a riot! My question is, why would anyone stick out their tongue while they have their head stuck in the freezer? What good does that do???

Rescue 911 was a TV show back in the late 80s and early 90s, hosted by William Shatner, of all people. It started around the time that shows like America's Most Wanted, Cops, and A Current Affair began to prey on our fears of a dangerous world in order to glue us to the tube. Of course I'm not laughing at any of the victims portrayed on Rescue 911, but the show did happen to be very funny. Whether it was Shatner trying to act all serious, or the horrible (and I mean horrible) re-enactments of real 911 calls, the show did provide for some amusing moments.

The formula was basically the same as America's Most Wanted - each show would "report" on a few real 911 calls, complete with dramatizations and re-enactments. When they did these bits, they used all the tricks of the trade: black and white, stop-motion, tilting the camera, soft focus, and of course the riveting music. As you know, if there's a bad guy doing something in a dramatization, it should always be filmed in black and white, accompanied by random notes from the low octaves of a piano. Likewise, a touching scene such as someone recovering in a hospital requires soft focus and one or two high piano notes.

I also remember Rescue 911's laughable special effects. It was always interesting to see how they'd show someone being hit by lightning or something.

Do you notice how all the ads for the local news deal with fear? The media has succeeded in creating an unhealthy fear of the outside world. Sure, the world can be a dangerous place, but where would we be if nobody ever went outside? Whether they're running a story about unsanitary restaurants, killer bees, or crystal meth, it's always designed to scare you! The media has created a culture of fear, and shows like Rescue 911 started the whole thing.

Long forgotten by most, I'm afraid Rescue 911 will spend eternity rotting in TV hell, along with Richard Bey and *gasp* Cop Rock.

Remember this? I used to watch it as a kid, and the stuff quoted above is probably true, though I wouldn't have realized it back then. Though I did notice the disparity between the real people and the "photogenic" actors who portrayed them. Kinda like in Blow, where in the end they show the face of the real guy Johnny Depp was playing, and of course he looks nothing like fucking Johnny Depp.