being in the same room with cute boys who make you nervous

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c or d?

― youn (youn), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 23:03 (twenty years ago)

probably c. at least, it's c when i'm in the same room with cute girls who make me nervous. can't be that different, can it?

― electro-acoustic lycanthrope (orion), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 23:07 (twenty years ago)

not a jaymc thread???

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 23:10 (twenty years ago)

why do you keep gay-baiting jaymc

― Zwan (miccio), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 23:25 (twenty years ago)

the worst thing is not knowing where to look. so self-revealing!

― youn (youn), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 23:39 (twenty years ago)

d, because of the sudden introspection it causes

― stet (stet), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 23:42 (twenty years ago)

dud because it makes me lose all normal powers of speech and conversational turn-taking, leading me to make a serious of false starts until i finally blurt out something utterly nonsensical or inappropriate. i used to resolve this problem with booze but then i gave that up. i suspect this is largely why i have been single for such a long time now.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 1 June 2006 00:11 (twenty years ago)

because it makes me lose all normal powers of speech and conversational turn-taking

exactly!

― youn (youn), Thursday, 1 June 2006 00:18 (twenty years ago)

Dud. Great source of frustration.

― Super Cub (Debito), Thursday, 1 June 2006 00:20 (twenty years ago)

The only time it's dud is when it's a former (or current) boss or professor. Even then sometimes it has its charms.

― Abbott (Abbott), Thursday, 1 June 2006 00:40 (twenty years ago)

how can this NOT BE C

― killy ii (baby lenin pin), Thursday, 1 June 2006 00:43 (twenty years ago)

dud. i am so bad at talking to straight guys. i cant look at them! I NEED TO GO TO HETERO SCHOOL :(

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Thursday, 1 June 2006 01:23 (twenty years ago)

you and me both mandee

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:13 (twenty years ago)

Gee, I'm sorry guys!

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:17 (twenty years ago)

everyone in the thread is nervous and blushing now

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:18 (twenty years ago)

Thats funny I never get nervous around you Andrew ;P *flees*

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:19 (twenty years ago)

omg a boy

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:20 (twenty years ago)

That's funny, you've only ever met me a couple of times, Trayce!

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:56 (twenty years ago)

Er, twas a gag at you re cuetness... ah never mind.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:58 (twenty years ago)

Dunno about the nervous part, but being in the same room with distractingly cute boys = utter dud.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 1 June 2006 03:13 (twenty years ago)

It's called the HOLMSTROM EFFECT when a boy is so cute he literally SUCKS ALL THE COHERENT THOUGHTS STRAIGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!!

I have yet to discover the effeciacity of wearing a Harmonic Generator on your head to discourage the thought-scrambling effects of his cuteness.

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Thursday, 1 June 2006 08:10 (twenty years ago)

I knew a guy called Holmström in high school.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 1 June 2006 08:12 (twenty years ago)

I thought Holmstrom (sorry, I don't have a funny Scandinavian death metal keyboard that can do the umlauts) was a Swedish name. But then again a Norwegian Holmstrom the other day so who knows.

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Thursday, 1 June 2006 08:31 (twenty years ago)

Was he distressingly cute?

― Zora (Zora), Thursday, 1 June 2006 08:33 (twenty years ago)

Who? The bloke at Tuomas' high school? I would imagine so, all his friends seem to be implausibly hott.

The Norwegian Homstrom was a girl. She was cute, but I'm not that into girls.

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Thursday, 1 June 2006 08:35 (twenty years ago)

Other peole's cuteness uncovers two unpleasent traits in me; 1) self-loathing at my percieved uncuteness, and 2) jealosy at everyone else's cuteness. So dud, although it's a problem with me, not the cuteholder, not cuteness as a trait in and of itself. I'm trying to train myself away from being attrated to cuteness and into hottness (there is a subtle but important difference) since hottness I can ignore, while cuteness I have very little defence against.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Thursday, 1 June 2006 09:10 (twenty years ago)

Yes Kate, lazy x-post to Tuomas there. Bad me.

I am happy to find that cuteness no longer triggers jealousy in me- I have perhaps reached an age, or degree of marriedness, or just level of uncuteness whereby I feel no sense of competition with, or serious interest in, anybody cute I happen to see. I can happily appreciate their cuteness as a detached observer (gotta be careful not to appreciate too obviously, natch, or they tend to move away).

― Zora (Zora), Thursday, 1 June 2006 09:35 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, Holmström is a Swedish name. There are lots of Swedish names in Finland. The person in question wasn't distressingly cute I guess, he was big, blonde and looked like a viking, and wore shorts in September.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 1 June 2006 10:05 (twenty years ago)

As for the question, I don't think I get nervous around cute girls anymore. I'm extrovert in nature, so I can hold a conversation almost with anyone.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 1 June 2006 10:07 (twenty years ago)

I don't get NERVOUS around cute girls, at least not when I'm chatting to them. It's just when they're THERE, noodling around being all cute and cuddleable, that turns me into someone rather unpleasant.

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Thursday, 1 June 2006 11:05 (twenty years ago)

hai!

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:27 (twenty years ago)

It's much easier, you know, if you assume they'll never have the slightest interest in you so you might as well do yr thing. I realize this still comes second in terms of "healthy, admirable strategies" -- the best way would be to automagically believe that they might like you, or they might not, but it doesn't matter because life is good and people are neat and you're content -- but the best *I* can come up with is preventative pessimism. Gives you a nice cynical cast, too!

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:41 (twenty years ago)

Note: advice above recommended only for people you really, really fancy. Clearly not a good route to take too often.

― Laurel (Laurel), Thursday, 1 June 2006 12:42 (twenty years ago)

Definite dud. Not only do the guys I have found cute in the past NEVER EVER fancied me back, but I always end up saying something totally ridiculous in their presence, yes. And I'm too tall to be described as cute myself - damn those cutesy shortarses. To top it all, I've even lost interest in the guy who I should find cute - bit shy, plays in a band etc etc, all good stuff, and who I find it incredibly hard to be around sometimes and talk to due to his awkwardness, which transfers by diffusion or osmosis or something. I got called hot by a drunk guy at a wedding last year, that's as close as I've come. Emsk promised me we're going to go and catch cuties in a BIG BOY NET, tho,ha!!!

― Nobodys Prawn (Nobodysprawn), Thursday, 1 June 2006 13:09 (twenty years ago)

Arrrr, I feel yer pain, Prawn. I, too, am too tall to be "cute" - that word, to me, has all these associations with littleness, or rather, unthreateningness. Though, perhaps the cuteness in itself is a form of threat because we're unable to talk to them.

But we can always pull the ARRRRRR, WE ARE AMAZONG GODDESSES, FALL AT OUR FEET...

Oh how weird, that just reminded me! You and Emsk were in my dream last night. We went up Streatham Hill to look at the elephants (real ones, not mechanical ones, though we only saw one, it was a baby, and it was tired and going home) and ended up staying to see a HAWKWIND show. And you and Emsk go onstage with them and were dancing around, btu I was too shy and you were trying to pull me up with you, but I was all "no, I donwanna have to take my clothes off!"

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Thursday, 1 June 2006 13:19 (twenty years ago)

This still happens to me but I don't beat myself up about it as much as I used to. I was talking to a girl I fancied once and I confessed that the reason I had been so inarticulate, awkward and sometimes strange around her was because I liked her and she said that she had guessed that that might be the case and that she had found it endearing.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 1 June 2006 13:24 (twenty years ago)

Hey, and I thought of you while watching the Cynthia Payne documentary last night- ONLY because she had her knocking shop in Streatham. I'm not suggesting you do the same, (though instead of luncheon vouchers, you could get people to pay in vouchers for the curry house next to your place.) God, am soooo depressed about current man situation - though was finding it v.hard to be in a couple on the dates I've had to be fair - far, FAR too used to being in a group, with platonic friend or on own. Have become romantically institutionalised, unable to care about anyone else etc, etc....

― Nobodys Prawn (Nobodysprawn), Thursday, 1 June 2006 13:27 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes dud, cause I automatically think that cute guys will never be interested in me, so I have no problems talking to them at all, but I always end up looking disinterested and come off like a snobby bitch. Only to have one of my girlfriends tell me later that one of them was totally into me and I apparently didn't notice. YOU COULD'VE MENTIONED IT AT THE TIME.

But mostly... classic!

― Roz (Roz), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:02 (twenty years ago)

I'm too tall to be cute, too. I'm chubby enough to be "pretty" though.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:04 (twenty years ago)

How tall are you?

― Courtney Gidts (ex machina), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:06 (twenty years ago)

i think the girl i am alone with in the office feels this way ;)

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:08 (twenty years ago)

who, me? 5'8".

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Thursday, 1 June 2006 14:09 (twenty years ago)

I admire Laurel's coinage of 'automagically'.

― the bellefox (the pinefox), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:17 (twenty years ago)

Not to piss on the bonfire, but:

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/automagic

Sorry Pinefox :(

― steal compass, drive north, disappear (tissp), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:19 (twenty years ago)

I've never really understood the height thing... Cute guys are supposed to be tall and cute girls short? Why is height so important? Is it because girls want someone bigger than them to protect them, whereas guys want someone smaller than them who doesn't threaten their male superiority?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:35 (twenty years ago)

Yes.

― steal compass, drive north, disappear (tissp), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:37 (twenty years ago)

Is this a thread for Catholic priests?

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:38 (twenty years ago)

My last gf was around 5'8" and I liked that, the height difference not being so big (I'm 5'11") also allows for certain things...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:41 (twenty years ago)

You have an excuse for not going on the scary rides?

― steal compass, drive north, disappear (tissp), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:43 (twenty years ago)

What?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:46 (twenty years ago)

Height: I don't really care, but I like kissing *up*, not on the level. It's hard to get at the proper angle, otherwise.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:52 (twenty years ago)

What's the "proper angle"? How about when your in bed?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:53 (twenty years ago)

Sex mad, these Finns

― Oh No, It's Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:56 (twenty years ago)

one (1) vote for on the level

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:58 (twenty years ago)

I dunno, exactly, I just remember that I kept trying to bend my knees and be shorter while kissing the last not-very-tall boy I dated.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 June 2006 12:59 (twenty years ago)

It's probably just a question of what you're used to, not that there's some proper angle to kissing.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 2 June 2006 13:04 (twenty years ago)

Well obviously I'm only speaking for myself.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 June 2006 13:06 (twenty years ago)

I've never been too picky about the angle and I have often found it depressing that luscious amazons won't give me the time of day 'cause they think they're too tall for me or 'cause they insist on dating vertical giants.

― M. White (Miguelito), Friday, 2 June 2006 13:12 (twenty years ago)

I am not sure what Laurel meant when she used the word, but I don't think it was the same as what that online dictionary definition says.

― the pinefox (the pinefox), Friday, 2 June 2006 13:36 (twenty years ago)

kiss down, kiss up, kiss on the level, who gives a shit

― RoxyMuzak© (roxymuzak), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:07 (twenty years ago)

Dear PF, I never thought I made it up -- I'm positive I've seen it on ILX, or maybe I'm stealing from another more interweb-savvy friend of mine. I think of it as pertaining to all "black box" kinds of procedures, things that take place away from my view/outside my understanding. Sense?

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 June 2006 14:11 (twenty years ago)

Kissing down is all right. But then, I'm 6'3". The one guy I dated who was taller than me, that was weird, at first, and quickly became less weird.

Laurel's use of "automagically" was perfectly fine.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Friday, 2 June 2006 15:25 (twenty years ago)

Kissing up... kissing down... just kissing fullstop, works for me. :-)

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Friday, 2 June 2006 15:31 (twenty years ago)

I agree that it was fine: that's why I started off by saying I admired it.

― the bellefox (the pinefox), Friday, 2 June 2006 15:39 (twenty years ago)

Mandee is never 5'8"!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 2 June 2006 16:04 (twenty years ago)

what? i so am!

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Friday, 2 June 2006 16:16 (twenty years ago)

She is sometimes.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 2 June 2006 16:43 (twenty years ago)

I think is like how Cook is taller than RJG, in my head.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Friday, 2 June 2006 19:49 (twenty years ago)

Could be a bit of a dud if they are undergraduates :)

― Mary (Mary), Friday, 2 June 2006 20:12 (twenty years ago)

Are they gay boys? Cause that'd be awesome for me, a straight woman prone to theatrics, of course they wouldn't make me nervous then would they...

― Ruthie Tooth (Ruthie Tooth), Friday, 2 June 2006 20:14 (twenty years ago)

dud when they have a pistolo

― Mr Jones (Mr Jones), Friday, 2 June 2006 20:16 (twenty years ago)

I was in the same room (office) with a cute boy who made me nervous for about 3 years. After he quit, we went on a few platonic dates before he realized I was trying to determine how bi he was.

― Lost Lust (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 June 2006 20:34 (twenty years ago)

the only solution is to walk out of the room very quickly. it is more dramatic if there are stairs. but when - oh! - the performative:

leading me to make a serious of false starts until i finally blurt out something utterly nonsensical or inappropriate

racing up the stairs half talking to yourself to them to yourself okay then not daring to look over your shoulder and it will last until december!

― youn (youn), Friday, 2 June 2006 21:56 (twenty years ago)

i know it doesn't seem like I am 5'8" in my head, either. but it's the sad truth.

also Ally C. was taller than RJG in my head, too. when i first met them, it was positively shocking.

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Friday, 2 June 2006 22:13 (twenty years ago)

i do tend to fall for short girls

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:07 (twenty years ago)

(sorry)

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:08 (twenty years ago)

i think the average height of my girlfriends would be something like 5'2"

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:08 (twenty years ago)

(sadly that was fairly easy to calculate)

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:09 (twenty years ago)

I was trying to find a way to say the same thing, but was afraid it would sound creepy or fetishistic or something. I always seem to fall for girls between 5'-5'4" (I'm 6'1").

― milo z (mlp), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:10 (twenty years ago)

but was afraid it would sound creepy or fetishistic or something

i think i may have drawn some potential fire from you, then

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:12 (twenty years ago)

http://tesla.liketelevision.com/liketelevision/images/lowrez/reel46ff212.jpg

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 3 June 2006 01:13 (twenty years ago)

I am surprised that Amst goes for the shorties--I envisioned him with the more statuesque /model type.

Y, have you checked their shoes? I have had two recent near encounters of being in the same room with possibly cute boys, but a quick sweeping glance to the floor revealed in the first intance: ankles and in the second instance: toes resulting in both young men falling from possible boyfriend material to personas non gratas in under a second.

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 00:20 (twenty years ago)

To wit: haurachas then flip flops were the offending garments. While pehaps appropriate on a beach in Mexico, not nation's capital classroom material.

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 00:22 (twenty years ago)

you're a girl after my own heart, m.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 02:18 (twenty years ago)

Mandee's about the same height as me, and I'm 5'8".

Which is, supposedly, like SHORT for a model (when Kate Moss started modelling, there was this hoo hah that at 5'8" she was too small to be a model) but makes you a freaking giantess in London.

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 08:29 (twenty years ago)

I could have sworn you were like 5'10+, Kate. Weird.

Kissing a girl the same height as you is *easier* - no-one has to stretch or strain or contort (all of which can be good things in the right circumstances obv). But it's hardly a deal-breaker.

― Crimea River (Mark C), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 09:20 (twenty years ago)

... more of a neck-breaker

― Who Are You... The Nerve... I Wanna Get Out, I Wanna Get Out (Dada), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 09:22 (twenty years ago)

I have a big personality, I guess. (Also, I'm fat which makes me look bigger than I am.) A lot of people have been shocked to find out I'm as short as I am. (I am the shortest member of my family. Even my sisX0r and my former bassist are both about 5'10" so I feel like a shortarse.)

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 09:25 (twenty years ago)

I like that most of my femmme friends are 5'9" and shorter. Makes 'em all easier to...hug.

― Hal! Jordan! HAL! JORDAN! (Barima), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 11:05 (twenty years ago)

Also, why be nervous in a roomful of cute girls when you can just be frustrated? Works for me.

― Hal! Jordan! HAL! JORDAN! (Barima), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 11:06 (twenty years ago)

kate, i cant believe you just said you are fat

― i've dreamt of rubies! (Mandee), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 11:41 (twenty years ago)

Have you seen those pictures from Sunday? I am fat.

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 11:42 (twenty years ago)

(this is not a value judgement, BTW, just a statement of fact.)

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 11:43 (twenty years ago)

The last time I saw you, you were cuddly! Not fat. That was 10 days ago. I doubt you've changed.

― Hal! Jordan! HAL! JORDAN! (Barima), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 12:13 (twenty years ago)

I am comfortable with my weight. I am far more worried about TURNING GINGER.

― harmonic generator, haircuts are for losers (kate), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 12:25 (twenty years ago)

Ginger or ginger beer?

― Who Are You... The Nerve... I Wanna Get Out, I Wanna Get Out (Dada), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 12:26 (twenty years ago)

I have self-diagnosed myself with hyperhidrosis. I get red and sweaty in the room with cute boys or sometimes even just friends.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Tuesday, 6 June 2006 12:27 (twenty years ago)

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