'serving suggestion'

http://www.jordans-cereals.co.uk/page.asp?partid=26

(I have an uneasy feeling that this topic is total bad 80s comedian material.)

xpost

http://i30.tinypic.com/15xsmmt.jpg

Recipe for Chicken Soup

Preparation time: 5 seconds

Ingredients:
1 chicken
1 tomato
noodles
parsley

Method:
stick ingredients in bowl

serving suggestion: take photograph of it but for the love of god don't try to eat it

but it's DELICOUS, APPETIZING, and NOURISHING

also best before Mar 07 ;_;

Also apparently it's made by a furious jamaican chef's hat

http://i25.tinypic.com/2622r9e.jpg

the noodles look really good

mmm...
http://www.biskitz4cheez.com/suggestions/beansandsausage.jpg

what the hell

http://www.biskitz4cheez.com/serving.htm

also use the soup as a "snack with crackers"?? use a bowl of soup with an entire chicken in it as a SNAKC WITH CRACKERKKREKRKERES????

ew "hot dogs in brine"? no worse description exists

this thread reminds me of the directions on the package of a moist towellete:
"open and use."

http://www.biskitz4cheez.com/suggestions/tomatoes.jpg

hahahahhaaa

ew "hot dogs in brine"? no worse description exists

-- s1ocki, Tuesday, April 1, 2008 2:48 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Where's the euphemisms for sex thread?

"open packet and insert contents into the big hole in your face"

THE SERVING SUGGESTION IS TOMATOES ON THE VINE

serving suggestion: don't serve this tinned rubbish

TINNED MEATBALLS "Serving suggestion: don't read the ingredients on the side of the can. Ever."

Isn't this a legal thing? Like, even if you have a photo of a bowl of cereal with milk on a box of cornflakes, you still have to state very clearly that there isn't acually milk in the box. In case some smartarse sues you for false advertising or something.

Basically yes, "serving suggestion" is a legal disclaimer that the contents doesn't have to look anything like the picture on the front. Especially those microwave pasta dishes: looks nice in the picture, but when you cook it, it looks like it's been dropped on the floor upside down.

Don't make fun of my inability to microwave pasta without spilling it.

I seem to recall some cat biscuits I had once that helpfully suggested "pour into bowl and allow cat to eat when it wants", or something along similar lines.

Well gosh, really?

http://static.flickr.com/35/73340931_b539c5c9fc.jpg

I love how excited ethan got about that can of tomatoes!

I got a bag of peanuts the other day that actually said "May or may not contain nuts".

Well the empty packet would not contain nuts.

Or those breakfast cereals that contain fruit, and the serving suggestions has nice big fresh chunks of strawberry, but it turns out that it's really dehydrated bits of strawberry that look like they've hoovered up off the floor.

infant nog?!

http://funtasticus.com/20080324/advertising-vs-reality-a-product-comparison-project/

Those sub-Pot Noodles and microwave meals look really grim...

You buy something called "currywurst" you deserve what you get.

They do look grim but after reading that thread I want some waldpiltz suppe, Hanuta, and milchreis!

You buy tinned shashlik you get what you deserve. And why is the herring salad bright pink?! Also, it seems that Germans do not understand pasta.

http://img.funtasticus.org/2007/apr1/food2438/food097.jpg
looooool

some of these are pretty fair but a couple are hilariously dishonest

If my German chef Dad is someone to go by then the herring salad is probably bright pink because of the inclusion of beets. Germans like to put beets in stuff. Fact.

(xpost) holy shit check the Bauern Fruehstueck! Definately not something you'd want to start the day with.

"Serving suggestion: wake up, fry up this shite in a pan, look at it in disgust, go back to bed in defeat."

The Bauern Frushstueck isn't that bad! From what I can tell it's homefries with bits of ham and egg in it. It doesn't look that great but surely the first picture on there is the worst?

reading that whole page has given me a strong aversion to any kind of foodstuff ever.

amazingly the big mac is one of the most convincing!

(xpost) It looks like it's been dropped on the floor, scooped up, and put back in the pan again! I have enough trouble eating and keeping down Shreddies. Speck = some kind of Italian style ham, but the Germans are notorious for mixing up Italian food terms, much like the English do with Indian food.

Burgers generally pretty dreadful the world over though - doesn't matter which country you're in, they always look like they've been sat on.

I once did the "LOL PACK OF PEANUTS MAY CONTAIN NUTS" thing to someone, and was met with the dry response of "peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes." I felt pretty silly.

Speck = some kind of Italian style ham, but the Germans are notorious for mixing up Italian food terms, much like the English do with Indian food.

German "speck" is different from the Italian kind but it's definitely ham that's been cured. Then again, I'm a vegetarian and haven't had it in ages so I can't give a better description.

http://www.nutrigrain.com.au/images/ng_pack.gif

We suggest you serve enjoy our product with milk as a midair explosion in front of a closed iron vault.

http://www.nutrigrain.com.au/images/ng_pack.gif

my favourite is 'not actual size' underneath the pictures on biscuit packets.

WARNING: NUTRI-GRAIN IS "IRON MAN FOOD" AND AS SUCH, SHOULD ONLY BE CONSUMED BY ROBERT DOWNEY JR. WITH A LINE OF COKE.

did nutrigrain get nominated in the cereal poll?
when i was a kid id bite off each hole and recite "corn" (bite) "oats" (bite) "wheat!"(bite)

http://www.biskitz4cheez.com/suggestions/tea_bags.jpg
serving suggestion: make a cup of tea, idiots

There was this odd moment in time where the Nutri-Grain commercial was an instrumental version of "Cult of Personality", which was really weird.

Look in my iron / What do you see?

all of these are amazing and hilarious and this is definitely one of ilx's best threads.

the tomato one is funny for so many reasons! i love that they actually suggest you uncan the tomatoes and turn them back into fresh tomatoes.

I am still enamoured most of all by estela's embarrassed parsley.

It must be wilting.

double whammy
http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/5686/treasureclosenb0.jpg

enlarged to show texture!!!! That almost sounds offputting.

I mean its like "here, check out the microbes on yr food with this electron microscopic scan!*

*not actual size

"enlarged to show texture" sounds like a sleazy porn tag

Haha ewwww.

They should have serving suggestions on condom packets.

Wait I guess they kind of do, sometimes.

'Penis sold separately'

INFANT NOG!?

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/81/245492402_e77a89806a.jpg

^ parsley looks slightly embarrassed

http://www.bagofnothing.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/porkbrainschlest.jpeg

well sometimes you have forget about that stuff when you're indulging in something so good

http://www.shipbrook.com/jeff/potted.html

thank you, this thread, for making me cry with lols in my very quiet office :-)

http://www.biskitz4cheez.com/suggestions/pasta_sauce.jpg

Serving suggestion - a pile of oversized fruit with a tiny happy man in a bowler hat leaping from it.

Bird's Eye Potato Waffles advert - I couldn't find the longer version, basically the serving suggestion is "eat with some food", and a comedy whistle...

best ilx thread.

"To avoid overcooking - taste the pasta before draining - it should still be firm and not soggy"

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v136/primrosehill/nebslife.jpg

http://www.letusteachkids.com/puppet%20p/army.jpg

jokes on me for failing to cook the fancy farro pasta al dente. it was still fucking good though.

i saw the most bemusing one of these ever on a spice jar-sized container of 'meat tenderizer'. the suggestion was a steak, laying on top of a small mountain of the tenderizer crystals, with a wooden mallet laying on top of the steak!!

aw half the pics are now gone! :(

hahaha infant nog

estela in this thread <3 <3 <3

I saw some "biscuits for cheese" in M&S the other day, on the box was a picture of some cheese on a cheeseboard with some grapes, and it said "serving suggestion" in the corner.

In other words the serving suggestion was to sod the biscuits in the box and just have some nice grapes with your cheese instead.

this makes me lololloll

It's an endearing tagline. "Honestly our crackers are kind of shit with cheese; eat your cheese with grapes, it's better for you!"

sad about the missing pics :(

I know! This thread made me laugh til I cried when the pics were in tact. All that's left is the echoes of our laughter :(

co-op italian breadsticks. tie four of them together with some string.