people in apartment buildings who forget to close their windows while they're fucking

*well once i spotted some folks going at it while walking down a residential block in lincoln park, chicago on a weekday afternoon. it was really incongruous and i was embarrassed.

i do remember someone who lived upstairs from me -- a conservative-seeming woman who lived alone for a long time, but one day a fabio-lookin' guy started coming around. as roxy music said, you can guess the rest.

I think the higher pitch travels farther. You can always hear women's sides of conversations from a distance. They probably developed those horrible fog-cutter voices the better to call the kids home for dinner.

After a couple of weeks she knocked on my door asking for help moving a large piece of furniture, saying she was moving out. She turned out to be a very large goth woman in her late 30s.

Anyway, classic.

for whom?

x-post

Her: "Blah blah blah if you just KNEW how to FUCK blah blah blah..."
Him: "Blah blah blah if you weren't so fucking UGLY blah blah blah..."

http://img38.exs.cx/img38/5667/bscap0654kx.jpg

He told the whole world he got stabbed in the butt, but it was a toilet paper cut.

Bonus classicism for fucking in the middle of summer when it's so damn hot that EVERYBODY in the apartment building has ALL of their windows open. Even the little old lady downstairs with the heart condition.

Her: "Blah blah blah if you just KNEW how to FUCK blah blah blah..."
Him: "Blah blah blah if you weren't so fucking UGLY blah blah blah..."

And then one of them said: "Blah blah blah SHUT UP YOU LITTLE MAN!"

I lived in Florda for 20 years. This is common. No one gives a shit. I've tried it once myself.

jeez, people really talk like that? what a turnoff!

it sounds funny

I take it you haven't reached that stage yet.

HA ha haaa NEd, you're going to get me fired!

I've since cheered for him too.

My new downstairs neighbours like to go at it loudly too. It's like clockwork... around the time I'm getting home from work and around midnight - just as I'm settling down to watch Jon Stewart. They always have their front window open too, which faces our patio and I must admit the temptation to sneak a peak (if possible) is there.
They're young and normally done after 10-15 minutes anyways tho!

You hate fun.

Heheh.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), July 14th, 2006 4:01 PM. (jaymc) (later) (link)

Ditto. I did have an ex who was (to me, anyway) unusually, er, clandestine(?) about such things. Staying up until 2AM or later was usually a requirement. Needless to say he wasn't getting much.

people are rude whilst in mid-fuck

<i>Bonus classicism for fucking in the middle of summer when it's so damn hot that EVERYBODY in the apartment building has ALL of their windows open. Even the little old lady downstairs with the heart condition.</i>

A friend of mine claims the neighbors gave the noisy couple a round of applause after such an incident.

I always get a mite embarrassed by other people's fucking. There's always a moment of, "Wow, is THAT ever not my business." This continues to surprise me about myself -- even [name withheld]'s ex-roommate, who is plenty attractive, plenty lesbian, plenty loud and plenty graphic, always seemed to give me more of a reason to get out of earshot than to stay in it. (Or even to be indifferent to it.) I guess my southern protestant roots still show sometimes.

yah dude i figured you for the ear-against-the-wall-beating-off type :-\

I don't think I've ever overheard wild sex going on, or mediocre sex. Nothing. Maybe this is why I often have a lonely, distant feeling, like I've missed the last train and it's getting dark out. What I'm saying is, I should probably go for a walk this summer, late at night, listening for sex noises.

you make being a peeping tom sound so romantic

My neighbors irregularly have loud sex, and their bedroom wall meets ours. Often on a Sunday morning we'll be woken up by what sounds like a chihuaua being bounced up and down on a bed.

I remember one night, when I lived across the street from a frat house, there was some Wednesday night party happening. It was four in the morning and I had class in four hours, I was kinda pissed. The noise on their porch seemed to reach a fever pitch, so I grumbled "what the fuck is this" and got up to look out the window. They had a couch on the front porch of the frat house, and there was some dude doin a girl from behind while all the guys were cheering them on. On the front porch.

Interesting aside: later learned that the girl on the porch was my gf's roomate.

Strange that this thread should be revived. I heard a couple of womanly moans coming from downstairs or somewhere twice today. I listened for more but didn't hear anything else.

That doesn't compare to what I heard once when I had an open window the summer before last.

xpost hello hoos

sup man

My neighbors have irregularly loud sex,

My neighbors have loud sex, irregularly

i'm an english major, i swear

You must have a new messenger name, Hoos. You just disappeared.

nah man i'm around, maybe we're just not on at the same time lately? work/school is crazy.

very diff sched this semester

yah dude i figured you for the ear-against-the-wall-beating-off type :-\

I know, me too!

But seriously, I wish I was all "whatever" or "good for them, yay!" instead of "Must Leave Room Now." Not being embarrassed is a skill I only pretend to have.

Ok, but there's always an exception -- there was this couple next door when I was crashing in a friend's place for a couple months, and sometimes you could hear them if you were in the bathroom. That wasn't embarrassing at all, because it sounded so totally unerotic. I would critique them to myself during my morning shave. "Oh, Jesus, dude. You call that dirty talk? Lighten up." Or "Girl, don't you think this blowjob has gone on long enough? Just jam your thumb up his ass already, and maybe you can both get to work on time."

Do you still work at the hotel, Hoos?

yep

Well, are you available for chat? Holy hell! You are! Wild.

remember to close the windows, dudes

heheh christ you've got the wrong idea, mate!

This thread needs mp3s.

My apt has flimsy walls, we can all hear each other coughing and answering our phones in our rooms, and last night was the first time I've heard one of the roomies bring someone home. It actually made me smile kind of fondly b/c I like him and wish him well...but I had to go to sleep with earplugs in.

My girlfriend's housemate claims to have seen the couple across the street from them do it doggystyle in the lounge. At the end the guy pulled out and spooged all over the girl's back. Allegedly.

that can happen.

It sounds distinctly more pornographic than what one might normally inadvertantly witness. like it was staged, almost. Or made up.

When I've heard neighbours have loud sex, sometimes I've gotten even with them by having even louder sex with my partner afterwards.

Or, once, even at the same time.

Though neighbours having loud sex is still less distracting than people having (what they think is) quiet sex on the bed/mattress next to yours.

you make being a peeping tom sound so romantic

This whole thread makes being a peeping tom sound romantic! What kind of board is this?

I just get the squeaking of the bed in the apartment above me. Regular as a metronome, no quickening of pace at the end, just squeak... squeek... squeek... squeek... stop. No moans, no nothing, total silence except for that mechanical squeak. Quite sinister really.

Oh, see, I was getting the full-on heavy breathing and murmurs, which is sweet but really none of my business. Thank goodness for the earplugs.

In my previous flat, I sometimes heard the couple next door have sex, and it always lasted for like 2 minutes. I just heard the guy go, "Ah ah ah ah, aaaaGGHHH!!", and the woman only made some faint noises. Sometimes when I saw that guy in the hallway, I felt the urge to say to him, "Dude, you gotta practice your sex endurance to make your lady happier!"

Though even weirder was that, even though one of my flatmates' boyfriend often stayed for the night, I never ever heard them do anything, even though there was only a wall between our rooms, and I could even hear the neighbours having sex. I wasn't close enough with her to ask if something was wrong with their relationship though.

It is possible to have totally silent sex, you know.

Maybe you could've said "Lady, you gotta put out to make your dude happier!"

Also, when I was living in that flat, I was kinda afraid to make loud sex noises with girls I brought in there, because of a another flatmate of mine, who this weird militant feminist girl I found kinda scary. (It should say something that even I thought she was scary, even though I'm an outspoken feminist myself.) It was kinda hard though, because my bed was very squeaky.

One of the good things about living alone is that I don't have to feel so conscious of having sex anymore as I did when living in a shared flat.

"Dude, you gotta practice your sex endurance to make your lady happier!"

i think i received an email with this very title today

why isn't this a picture thread?

The girl who lives in the basement below me has sex at all hours of the day. The guy is as quiet as a mouse, while the girl makes noises akin to laughing, crying and/or physical torture.

I could have made big money if I dialled the National Insitute of Phonetics, that girl has discovered at least 3 new vowels this week.

<i>I felt the urge to say to him, "Dude, you gotta practice your sex endurance to make your lady happier!" </i>

I know of a certain picture which will improve his sex endurance.