My house is a mess!

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A gazillion spiders, dog hair in huge drifts, a general smell of mold, soggy newspapers, capsizing piles of books on every surface, crap, crap, crap, strewn all over.
I DON'T CARE!!!!
But I will soon. Soon I will snap. But right now I'm going to switch on the dehumidifier and flee.

How's everyone's homemaking habits holding up in this heatwave?

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 12:52 (nineteen years ago)

oh, we can blame the heat?

Yeah, screw that heat. making me so messy.

Ms. Misery TX (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 12:59 (nineteen years ago)

Any cleaning involving WATER gets done quite a lot. Anything else can eat a bag of dicks.

Kaet (kate), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:01 (nineteen years ago)

I don't mind the heat, but the fact that the dehumidifier pulls TWO GALLONS of water out of the air in my house every day—I find that disgusting. Cleaning with water? I'd like to clean with TALC.

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:10 (nineteen years ago)

The fact that my washing machine is hand-operated has certainly seen a slackening in that department. Although only a few of my clothes fit me any more so can't let it go for TOO long... I did mop the kitchen floor and half-heartedly wipe the sink and bath last night but ironing is RIGHT out.

Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:13 (nineteen years ago)

xxpost
Maybe we should get one of those. Doesn't the dehumidifier get moldy and mildewy though?

Our big problem is animal-hair tumbleweeds and no ventailiation in the bathrooms which make them always too swampy. i just take a shop-vac to the tumbleweeds every few days.

oh Archel! That will not do. you should get a better one before the baby comes.

Ms. Misery TX (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:15 (nineteen years ago)

Yes. Especially since we're going to try reusable nappies. Don't fancy cranking those round morning noon and night...

We were trying to be so energy efficient and all, but now I'm like: bring on the power guzzling turbo maxi-load washer-dryer pls.

Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

My house is a mess!

It's in its kiss.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:18 (nineteen years ago)

x-post
yeah I don't think I've ever even seen one of those so I was thinking "!!!"

My boyfriend doesn't need to know there are people like you out there hand-cranking your laundry. at the slighest mention of someone having it worse, I'm jumped all over b/c I complain too much. (e.g. about having to carry laundry from washer in kitchen to dryer in garage when it's 100+F outside. I'll stop with that one.)

Ms. Misery TX (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

Dehumidifiers improve your summertime quality of life so much, Ms Misery. Get one! It's so nice to walk around barefoot without your feet sticking to the floor!
I bleached the shower curtain this morning. It grows a new coat of mold every other day, dehumidifier notwithstanding.

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:22 (nineteen years ago)

It's so nice to walk around barefoot without your feet sticking to the floor!

Our whole house has slate floors! So cool and dry. and hard. Seriously, I'm now appreciative of all the back-breaking labor we put forth in feb/april on those floors.

Ms. Misery TX (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:24 (nineteen years ago)

OR
My house is a mess!

hot tramp, i love you so!

xpost

rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

We have spent the last week frantically cleaning our house for last night (a meeting related to Our Big Secret Project); I collected 11 garbage bags of old nasty cat-pee-laden stuff from the basement and even mopped 65% of the floor down there, we swabbed everything down, my wife cleaned up her "office" room for the first time in a year, kids vacuumed so much they broke the vacuum...and the meeting took about an hour tops.

I feel like the basement is my subconscious mind, and now that it's a lot cleaner I feel like I Won The World.

Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:25 (nineteen years ago)

Cleani -- sorry, WHAT?!>!? I'm not looking at my sink or floor or bathroom until a) the heat breaks and b) my cluttered, disorganized, cleaning-phobic roommate moves out.

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

I wish I could clean up my subconscious. I did mop so vigorously last night that I broke the mop, maybe that's symbolic?

Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

i sprayed vinegar-water on some surfaces last night. and then wiped them.

am still calculating how much better life will be if i organized piles of papers/books vs energy expenditure of doing so. i did change a bike tire yesterday. and sweated through shorts and shirt.

would like to wear a particular skirt today but it requires ironing. (and some sewing. stupid gap things and their stupid hems always coming apart. it was only $10, but...) screw you, skirt.

rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

My house, too, is a mess, but not nearly so much as my yard. Back before HEAT WAVE, I had begun what was supposed to be a rather intensive nu-backyard project. I pulled up an old rusted, dangerous swingset. I dug up a whole bunch of stuff that was getting out of control, and tilled, making beds for what should've been gardens.

Now, one of my trees is dying, there is all sorts of yard waste detritus, not to mention an old rusty swingset lying on it's side on the patio. But hey, I have a privacy fence, so, whatevers!

the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

archel, you are pregnant super hero of unmeasured strength!
but get real washing machine.

rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:31 (nineteen years ago)

My "mildew resistant" shower curtains are disgusting.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:32 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah maybe I am entering that loads of energy Hulk smash phase of pregnancy I keep hearing about. But I still can't crank a handle for 90 seconds without my arm aching.

Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:34 (nineteen years ago)

How's everyone's homemaking habits holding up in this heatwave?

Our cleaning lady only comes on tuesday (yes, today) and thursday this week. I won't notice the difference. ;-)

Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:39 (nineteen years ago)

Archel - it's time for either the bike-pedal version or the hamster-wheel one :)

Jaq (Jaq), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:48 (nineteen years ago)

I'm not much of a homemaker in the first place. I'm trying to keep laundry and dishes out of the way and keep the kid-related clutter to a minimum. I really need to vacuum; I have no motivation for that right now. If I can blame the heat for all this... well, okay, I'll take it!

Sara R-C (Sara R-C), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:54 (nineteen years ago)

My "mildew resistant" shower curtains are disgusting.

The mildew resistance only lasts for about a week. Once that smelly chemical coating washes away, all the spores who were biding their time behind the toilet tank come out and party!

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 13:55 (nineteen years ago)

Don't you people have yards? I am so desperate to lay my shower curtain out flat, scrub the hell out of it, and then hose it off. But there's nowhere to do that, and so the scum and mildew survive in little folds....

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:00 (nineteen years ago)

do it in your bathtub!
(i have said this before)

rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

throw it in the washer with a little bleach.

Ms. Misery TX (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:02 (nineteen years ago)

(i have never actually taken this (mom's) advice. i spray it with mildew killing stuff that is supposed to go on tiles. xpost to self.)

rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:03 (nineteen years ago)

I would love to bleach my curtains in the bathtub but the guy who glazed it said under no circumstances are you to get bleach on his beautiful glazing.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

Tile with drainage grates, that's what I like in a bathroom. Really, it would be so much easier if all bathrooms could be scrubbed with a soft, long-handled brush like you use to wash cars, and then sprayed down and out the floor drains. All teak furniture and storage accessories can be easily picked up and carted into the hallway for the duration. Et voila!

Rrrob: bathtub still requires me to scrub in sections and roll up or fold the excess around the edges. Possible, but complicated. Miz Miz: Don't have a washer in house, plus the curtain is clear vinyl with silver glitter in it -- I don't think clothes washe is the answer. :/

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

ah yes the washer! What a fool I've been.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

I use those cheap liners you can get at Target for $2 and then a fabric curtain. if you don't feel like washing the liner you can always toss it! (wow, that's not very envrionmental)

Ms. Misery TX (MissMiseryTX), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

I now have a glass shower screen but i used to have mammoth wrestling matches with my shower curtain in the bathtub. Quite satisfying in a way.

Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, washing it in the yard is probably the easiest and most fun. i mean "fun." silver glitter shower curtain!!

my bldg manager just randomly gave me one of those white plastic tube things to go over my rusting shower curtain rod. it's a minor pleasure.

rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:09 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, no. I bought a heavy vinyl curtain years ago and I love it but it's too thick and stiff to be bunched up into the washer -- it wouldn't agitate well AT ALL. It's roughly the consistency of, like...a heavy inner tube, or something. Bah. I may have to roll it up like a scroll and do the bathtub thing. (XP to Miz Miz)

New problem! We have a claw-foot tub which I LOVE but either it's not properly angled or our floor isn't flat (take your pick) -- the upshot is that it doesn't slant enough to drain and the standing water that accumulates makes the tub dirty and scummy within SECONDS of cleaning. Should I get a bunch of boys over and try to shim the back end up? I don't know what else to do.

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

do you have a car with a jack? Jack that tub up.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:17 (nineteen years ago)

Hmmmmmmm. I don't have a car, but I'll bet I can borrow a jack. Might try that!

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:18 (nineteen years ago)

Do you think The World would blame me if I just swept my roommate's entire THREE-CUPBOARD supply of teas and herbal remedies and nearly-empty bundles of things she hasn't used in probably three years into a garbage bag and tossed it? I need that space, dammit. She. Cannot. Dispose. Of anything.

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

I'm just not that good at housecleaning. I will leave that to other people.

GILLY'S BAGG'EAR VANCE OF COUPARI (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 14:32 (nineteen years ago)

Ewwww. Beth, you just had to go there with the shower curtain thing didn't you?!?!? It's not enough that they are awful things that cling and grab you while you try to shower anyway, but then the thought of adding hairy moldy slimy thing grabbing at you just takes me to a place I can't even think about.

Quick! revive the pudding thread it's a much nicer topic!

Wiggy (Wiggy), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 18:09 (nineteen years ago)

Oh oh!! Heavy vinyl shower curtains do not billow and cling but stay where they're PUT! A bonus.

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

You don't have to agitate the heavy curtains in the washer. Just a soak in some water and bleach should do the trick.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 18:25 (nineteen years ago)

Oh well. I don't have a washer anyway. :( Apartment living, yes.

Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

i have to pack up all my crap and move in the next 10 days AND everything is a mess and i am on the 3rd floor with no a/c. this is gonna be fun :(((((

caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Tuesday, 18 July 2006 19:07 (nineteen years ago)

i cannot contemplate moving right now. it seems like so many people i know are moving (and i have helped them) - remember, it's really only a few hours of pain in one day, plus a few hours on either side to pack and then get settled, etc. which is not to say it doesn't SUCK. just that it ends.

i want my own washer. i am also getting tired of renting. i need a BASE.

laurel, throw out roommate's freakin teas and crap. put them in a garbage bag and say they are a health hazard/full of bugs. i mean, she can pick out the ones she really wants and the rest = garbageo.

rrrobyn sharkattack battleforcenet (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 01:03 (nineteen years ago)

How many boxes of tea does she have, anyway? Is she in training for the neo-hippie-chick pageant or something? Criminy.

One more thought on shower-curtain mold—I don't consider removing the shower curtain to scrub it in the yard or launder it as an option because I HATE unhooking it from the rings!!!! The stupid things are badly designed, all of them (and I've been through several plastic types and now have stupid metal ones with little rolling balls that FALL OFF), and by the time you get to the twelfth one your arms have HAD IT from being held aloft and straining unfamiliar muscles! And this is me talking, the donkey-work aficionado. I don't shy from dumb physical labor.

Wiggy! Hello! I forgot about the pudding thread. The cheese thread is my new weakness.

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 01:10 (nineteen years ago)

What excuse do I get to use for my messy place seeing as it is winter over here? :(

Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 02:20 (nineteen years ago)

Winter sounds so good right now!

Paul in Santa Cruz (Paul in Santa Cruz), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 05:44 (nineteen years ago)

There are some pictures on this site to make us all feel like neat freaks:

http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/pictures/index.shtml

nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 07:30 (nineteen years ago)

My roommate's mother owns a health-food store, so the herbal-remedies-up-to-the-ceiling situation is all her fault. But, you know, THROW SOMETHING OUT once in a while.

Also, I saw a roach last night. After our horrific battle of last summer, roaches give me The Fear and I will KILL KILL KILL. Where's that number for Orkin, anyway.

Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 19 July 2006 11:55 (nineteen years ago)

Hundreds of flying ants suddenly appeared in my house yesterday, pouring out from behind the skirting board in the hallway! It was horrible! I sprayed them with the only thing I could grab quickly, which happened to be some Raid wasp killer. I don't think wasp spray is supposed to kill flying ants, but it seemed to do the trick, and it either killed them or just stunned them enough that I could vacuum them all up and then dump the contents of the Dyson onto a bonfire. Hundreds of them, there were! Hundreds, I tells ya!

There didn't seem to be any more there this morning. Phew.

C J (C J), Monday, 7 August 2006 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

Our landlord is selling the old haunt and the new owners want us all out so I'm not taking responsibility for that shithole anymore, especially since three-foot chunks of plaster started falling in the hallway. I have almost completely stopped caring about the condition of my place, I'm doing only the min necessary to stand to live in it.

OH FOR A HOUSE I COULD BEAR TO CLEAN.

Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 7 August 2006 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

my house is hopeless also,
and my jungle's a jumble and techno's in tatters to boot,
my shoegaze's shamefully sha-la-la-less.
and me reggae is ragged.
i blame ned.

tiit (tiit), Monday, 7 August 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

Inviting Gear's roommate over probably won't help things.

JTS (JTS), Monday, 7 August 2006 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

cj you need one of these!

http://www.eurocosm.com/Application/images/Electroswat/electroswot.jpg

emsk ( emsk), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 10:31 (nineteen years ago)

not michael winner, an electrified badminton racquet that kills flies and stuff.

emsk ( emsk), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 10:31 (nineteen years ago)

Michael Winner wuld be no help at all. I fear he would just stand there saying "calm down dear, it's a commercial" in that irritatingly condescending way of his, until I smacked him one.

Electrified bug zappers seem a bit nasty, somehow. Like those ones in butchers' shops (or bakeries, or maybe both) which I remember from my childhood, when you'd be standing there while your Mum ordered some chops (or buns, or whatever) and the zapper on the wall would suddenly start buzzing as it fried a fly - all bright blue light and the smell of singed insect wings.

Flying ants don't really fly, anyway - they crawl, mostly. And reproduce with alarming speed. Thankfully mine all seem to have gorn now.

C J (C J), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 11:05 (nineteen years ago)

Plus the zappers zap the good bugs along with the bad.

Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 11:10 (nineteen years ago)

we had a fly infestation problem the other week. then we got this thing (with the lovely name 'tox'), and we sprayed the fly and it has some neuro agent in it i think it made the fly go mental and then fell on the floor doing breakdancing, and then died.

i had never seen anything like it, 30 flies on the kitchen floor dancing and then dying. it was half amusing and half sad (it would be more sad if they weren't hovering around making fly babies everywhere and putting poo on our food.)

ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 11:11 (nineteen years ago)

i figure at least with the electric shock it's over quickly. i don't like the spray stuff cos it STINKS and i always feel like i can taste it for the next two days. we have those sticky paper things in our kitchen now for the fruit-flies, they are covered!

emsk ( emsk), Tuesday, 8 August 2006 11:13 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

http://www.hi-upload.com/upload/uploaded10/APT%20133%20002.jpg

I know I'm bad with all the Boing Boing links but http://www.houston-imports.com/dirty/dirty.html

Finefinemusic, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 19:04 (seventeen years ago)

I miss Beth.

I'm right right and you're wrong left (Susan), Tuesday, 23 September 2008 19:10 (seventeen years ago)

xpost, dear f-in god. I really feel sorry for the cat who had to live there.

I'm right right and you're wrong left (Susan), Tuesday, 23 September 2008 19:12 (seventeen years ago)

I don't know - might be kind of fun, like a giant obstacle course.

Finefinemusic, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 19:17 (seventeen years ago)

Missing Beth as well..

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 19:35 (seventeen years ago)

(xpost) be honest, this is you place, right?

snoball, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

more like
http://photos-f.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v274/224/57/516053577/n516053577_632237_2148.jpg

I do like the ironing board demonstrating that this crazy person did care about outer appearances, apparently. The women's shoes/swatches of clothes I see make me wonder: woman or transvestite? I need follow up on this story.

Finefinemusic, Tuesday, 23 September 2008 20:04 (seventeen years ago)

FWIW I have seen houses that are much, much, much, much worse.

Abbott, Wednesday, 24 September 2008 19:20 (seventeen years ago)

Well, these people didn't smoke, but worse otherwise. (There is really not much more depressinger than butts & ash coating everything.)

Abbott, Wednesday, 24 September 2008 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

Wow Abbott - do you work in some sort of field that would introduce you to places like this, or just have messy friends?

Finefinemusic, Wednesday, 24 September 2008 19:42 (seventeen years ago)

Oh my gosh...well...

No, I don't work in such a field, thank goodness.

I had a friend in junior high who went to church with me and lived down the street. (We both lived way out in the country, and there were like 7 houses on the road...hers was a mile away.) Her parents were really bonkers. The bonkersness would have seemed far more subtle were it not for their home environment.

They had built their own home, but they'd never entirely finished it. It was a two-story house with no front or back door – the only entrance was through the garage. Half the walls were just the wooden frame/electrical outlets/wires, etc., with no drywall. (The hilarious thing here is her dad was a house inspector.) The stairs were unfinished...no rails, no carpet, etc. Weirdest of all, the second floor was basically her parents' bedroom. They hadn't even put up the framing for half the walls, though. It was just a balcony that jutted over the living room – ro rails or anything. I never went up there but you could see a bunch of shit piled up on the balcony/ledge and presumably their bed was up there, too.

I don't know if they had carpet or not because the floor was barely visible at all. All the rooms, even the kitchen, were just waist-high piles of densely piled rubbish with some trails in them to walk through. Newspapers, magazines, books, old toys, machine parts, hardware, broken goods of all sorts, glommed into levels of even density. Lord knows what all was in there, or how the hell that happened.

Everything on the walls that had drywall (a few of them were painted) – some old cross-stitches & framed photos – was completely covered in thick, brown dust & grime.

Her parents' cars were like this, too – her mom owned a Suburban SUV-type car and ALL of it except the drivers & passengers seat was full of trash. Full. Stacked to the top of the back of the driver's seat. Those things have back seats, but you couldn't see the top of the backseats because garbage had been piled onto them.

Abbott, Thursday, 25 September 2008 00:44 (seventeen years ago)

My friend complained, validly, that she could hear every single thing her parents did in their bedroom. Man, it was a really depressing house.

Abbott, Thursday, 25 September 2008 00:45 (seventeen years ago)

I need follow up on this story.

Read the comments - it's a woman.

Jaq, Thursday, 25 September 2008 00:52 (seventeen years ago)

my house is a disaster. this morning, as i was hitting snooze, i glimpsed and my room and became really alarmed.

highly theoretical, of course. (tehresa), Thursday, 25 September 2008 01:57 (seventeen years ago)

When I moved out of my last flat it was pretty embarrasing how bad it had gotten. One spare room was basically just random piles of things, and the wardrobes were CRAMMED with useless shit.

I had to get a lot of friends to help, and it took weeks to sort, chuck, pack and move things.

Never again.

Trayce, Thursday, 25 September 2008 03:42 (seventeen years ago)

ten months pass...

AGAIN.

Beth Parker, Sunday, 26 July 2009 18:49 (sixteen years ago)

Not that it's been any great shakes in the interim.

Beth Parker, Sunday, 26 July 2009 18:51 (sixteen years ago)

I can only do a micro-unit of work before I become overwhelmed and have to seek solace of food and/or internet.

Beth Parker, Sunday, 26 July 2009 20:02 (sixteen years ago)

At the request of Mr. BP: coffee table is now rid of coffee table books. No need for huge dangerous teetering piles of art and garden books that NOBODY LOOKS AT. Bought space for them on the shelves by purging my huge collection of thesauruses, rhyming dictionaries & writer's style books. Only need the Chicago Manual of Style and one dictionary, in case the internet breaks.

Beth Parker, Sunday, 26 July 2009 20:39 (sixteen years ago)

If you've moved the coffee table books from the coffee table, what are they classified as now? If they are still classified as coffee table books, then surely wherever they are now is now the wrong place because coffee table books by definition belong on the coffee table? (says the person who can't remember what the coffee table here even looks like because it's covered in so much stuff)

grocery groin (snoball), Sunday, 26 July 2009 20:42 (sixteen years ago)

Shelved CTBs? They'll come out again, as they are actually looked at. We are, after all, us.

Beth Parker, Sunday, 26 July 2009 20:45 (sixteen years ago)

I've just moved house *again* since my last post, and despite 3 purges of cklothes and hard rubish in the last 12 months I still seem to have tons of junk. I like my new house though - and it's pretty small - so now I have no excuse, I have to be a hardass about tidying and not hoarding.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Sunday, 26 July 2009 22:58 (sixteen years ago)

Every time I move it seems like I throw away half my stuff, then the next time I move (sometimes it's been as little as six months) there's just as much junk as there was before so I have to throw half of it away, etc., etc...

grocery groin (snoball), Monday, 27 July 2009 07:56 (sixteen years ago)

Yeah I swear I've thrown away a whole houseful of shit in recent years... but then again, I had 8 years of built up hoarding in a recent place. Oy, the crap. We just today left a mountain out the front for the hard rubbish collection and it was such a relief.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Monday, 27 July 2009 09:27 (sixteen years ago)

That creaking and rustling in the middle of he night? Not the wind. Not the house settling on its foundation.
It's all your junk having sex and making junk babies.

Beth Parker, Monday, 27 July 2009 12:42 (sixteen years ago)

After my flat was broken into a couple of weeks ago a crime prevention office came round to take a look at the scene and then a few days later a friend of mine said to me on facebook "the next time you have a policeman over, make sure to tidy up first!", as the guy must have somehow known and commented to said friend about how messy my place is. Quite embarrasing.

It is a mess. I care, but I'm still not doing much about it just now.

krakow, Monday, 27 July 2009 17:53 (sixteen years ago)

I actually HOOVERED THE BEDROOM this past weekend. Mainly because I changed and washed the sheets after having swine flu and suddenly thought about loads and loads of little swine flu viruses leaking out all over the floor and hiding and breeding in the dust under the bed.

I might have a friend staying this weekend, so I'm going to really have to scrub the bog and stuffs. And try to contain some of the clutter in the living room. I always apologise for the mess when people come round, but what they don't know is that that mess is the result of TIDYING FOR SEVERAL HOURS before they get there. Sigh.

Your Mother Smells Of Elderflower (Masonic Boom), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 09:09 (sixteen years ago)

My parents were like that whenever people visited. Ten minutes before they'd be throwing rubbish in bin bags and hoovering like maniacs. Then when the visitor(s) arrived they'd be all "hey it's always this clean".

grocery groin (snoball), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 09:49 (sixteen years ago)

Also I can't hoover my bedroom at the moment because there's so much stuff in there that the big end of the hoover with the whirling brushes won't fit. And the hose can't be used because it isn't long enough and the damn thing keeps tipping over.

grocery groin (snoball), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 09:51 (sixteen years ago)

I just went to visit my ex who is very ill and he lives in a tiny bedsit and I swear, he is living the Bernard Black life at the moment - wet sheet on the floor and everything. It depressed the crap out of me, and I said "you can't live like this, dude!" but he got all sad and said he's been sick for weeks and everything's piled up, so I guess I couldnt have too much of a go at him. I do worry though.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 10:02 (sixteen years ago)

I mean we had to balance an ashtray on the keys of his digital piano as there wasnt room anywhere else. That shit ain't right.

seagulls are assholes (Trayce), Tuesday, 28 July 2009 10:03 (sixteen years ago)

You can always pull out random drawers and use them as surfaces for junk.

Beth Parker, Wednesday, 5 August 2009 16:57 (sixteen years ago)

My apt is a disaster. Roommate has had a guest for the last 4 days but apparently she didn't clean for the guest AT ALL. Place is filthy. Guilt her into cleaning this weekend, Y/N?

Like most people my age, I am 33 (Laurel), Wednesday, 5 August 2009 17:04 (sixteen years ago)

Vomit all over the mess, so she'll have to.

Beth Parker, Wednesday, 5 August 2009 17:28 (sixteen years ago)

Actually got the downstairs quite tidy. The key is not to leave any small piles of junk staged for transport elsewhere. They only serve as seed for worse mess. It's like not taking the whole course of antibiotics. You breed supermess.

Beth Parker, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:22 (sixteen years ago)

Oh god my mother is coming in 8 days.

Also we're having guests with CHILDREN tomorrow. I'm going to be cleaning all night.

franny glass, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:52 (sixteen years ago)

The upside is that when your mother arrives you can blame the mess on those horrible children.

Beth Parker, Thursday, 6 August 2009 15:59 (sixteen years ago)

Nice point, but I'm not sure my mother will accept "Our friends' kids did it" when confronted with half an inch of dust on the furniture...

franny glass, Thursday, 6 August 2009 18:47 (sixteen years ago)

So I guess my apartment is not so much a mess as it is just DIRTY.

franny glass, Thursday, 6 August 2009 18:48 (sixteen years ago)

Although it is also a mess.

franny glass, Thursday, 6 August 2009 18:48 (sixteen years ago)


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