Google Search

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Google "failure" and follow the first link.

I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 23:18 (seventeen years ago) link

waheeeeeeeeeey.

Scourage (Haberdager), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 23:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Google "google bomb" and follow the first link.

cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 23:23 (seventeen years ago) link

Welcome to 2003.

polyphonic (polyphonic), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 23:27 (seventeen years ago) link

did the french ever have any notable military victories?

grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 23:28 (seventeen years ago) link

ZOMG HGOOGLE "GOOGLE" AND HIT "I"M FEELINGD LUCKYS"!?!!

COOOOOOOSMIIIIIIIIIC.

captain reverend gandalf jesus (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 August 2006 00:13 (seventeen years ago) link

three weeks pass...
Ever heard of napoleon

www.napoleon.org/

web man (paulinio), Friday, 15 September 2006 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

HEY WEB MAN!

Bunyip (Bunyip), Friday, 15 September 2006 22:17 (seventeen years ago) link

two years pass...

Results 1 - 10 of about 243,000 for "tits up". (0.09 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 1,310 for "teats up". (0.24 seconds)

Aimless, Friday, 21 November 2008 19:02 (fifteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Google search kinda sucks now. When you put in conditionals, it'll give you websites without them ... and it's like, why would I want those fucking websites? They don't contain any of the words I'm searching for.

burt_stanton, Saturday, 13 December 2008 00:51 (fifteen years ago) link

Also if I put quotes round a name, I want that name, not common misspellings.

stet, Saturday, 13 December 2008 00:58 (fifteen years ago) link

three months pass...

It's a pet peeve of mine, so I'm going to go into "Grandpa Simpson shaking fist at clouds" mode for just a moment.

How to misleadingly cite the results of a Google search:

Results 1 - 10 of about 9,720 for I wonder how many people dream about Sean Connery every night.
Results 1 - 10 of about 2,850 for orange vision eyebrow speculation bow.
Results 1 - 10 of about 749,000 for I listen to everything but country and rap.
Results 1 - 10 of about 20,500 for nipples so long and pointy that it becomes dangerous.

How to properly cite the results of a Google search, using quotation marks:

No results found for "I wonder how many people dream about Sean Connery every night".
No results found for "orange vision eyebrow speculation bow".
Results 1 - 10 of about 537 for "I listen to everything but country and rap".
No results found for "nipples so long and pointy that it becomes dangerous".

I f'd up the word rear (Z S), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 19:27 (fifteen years ago) link

I'm not pointing fingers, I'm just saying...some of us here, and a million times more annoying, some journalists, don't really understand how google results are actually obtained.

I f'd up the word rear (Z S), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 19:29 (fifteen years ago) link

Wow!

Results 1 - 10 of about 2,800 for I'm not pointing fingers, I'm just saying...some of us here, and a million times more annoying, some journalists, don't really understand how google results are actually obtained..

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 19:39 (fifteen years ago) link

Yelling at cloud but OTM nonetheless.

Bianca Jagger (jaymc), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 19:41 (fifteen years ago) link

I can only hope that the next time other ILXors and journalists of the world want to write something about a google search result, they consult this thread first.

I f'd up the word rear (Z S), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 19:52 (fifteen years ago) link

Results 1 - 10 of about 413 for Use the ILX search function, journalists!.

I f'd up the word rear (Z S), Tuesday, 31 March 2009 19:53 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "gorging banshee". (0.22 seconds)

Mulvaney, Saturday, 16 May 2009 20:26 (fourteen years ago) link

eight months pass...

when i google "the department entire", that's what i google. not "the department's entire", fucktoads.

free the charmless but occasionally brilliant Dom Passantino (history mayne), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 17:08 (fourteen years ago) link

are you using quotes?

┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐ (Steve Shasta), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 18:04 (fourteen years ago) link

Yeah, Google has been a dick about this kind of thing for a while now.

Geoffrey Mujangi Bia-Curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 18:06 (fourteen years ago) link

i am using quotes. assholes. let's try bing.

free the charmless but occasionally brilliant Dom Passantino (history mayne), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 18:10 (fourteen years ago) link

bing does it right.

free the charmless but occasionally brilliant Dom Passantino (history mayne), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 18:10 (fourteen years ago) link

You can do it in Google via the advanced search btw. You have to tell it to ignore "department's entire".

Geoffrey Mujangi Bia-Curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 18:13 (fourteen years ago) link

one year passes...

dasein body sex
About 254,000 results (0.27 seconds)

Did you mean: ladies body sex

Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Saturday, 11 June 2011 18:33 (twelve years ago) link

nine months pass...

sublime who got the hooch

About 967,000 results (0.33 seconds)

tanuki, Thursday, 15 March 2012 20:55 (twelve years ago) link

five years pass...

No results found for "jesus fucking christ fucking mike pence".

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 17 October 2017 02:12 (six years ago) link

one year passes...

For some reason the utter fucking wankers at Google have done something to the search where it just ignores some of the words in the query and doesn't even provide that little "must include all terms" tab they used to have

Joe Proroguin' (Noodle Vague), Monday, 9 September 2019 09:22 (four years ago) link

four months pass...

Hate what seems to be a brand-new change: big images and news stories come up first. I just searched Mookie Betts to get his Baseball Reference page; it used to be the first or second thing to come up, along with Wikipedia, now it's relegated to the second page of results.

clemenza, Friday, 7 February 2020 20:58 (four years ago) link

one year passes...

Has anyone else been getting weird search results from DuckDuckGo lately? For example, I can enter the name of a website and none of the results will be the website's home page (whereas Google will give me the home page as first result). It's not always doing this but it's been happening enough lately for me to notice it.

visiting, Saturday, 1 January 2022 23:27 (two years ago) link

two years pass...

vanilla search is so broken in mid-2024, feels like this is google's "00s MTV"-era (ie music television channel showing nothing but teen reality/game shows).

citation needed (Steve Shasta), Tuesday, 30 April 2024 17:19 (two weeks ago) link


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