liost of stupid shit this guy said to me after i drove into the back of his car

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1. "INSURANCE DETAILS!" (he said this while i was still in my car, both cars still in the middle of the road. i suggested we move our cars.
2. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" (...)
3. "I'm a care worker!" (...)
4. "Why did you pull out?" (obviously, i WANTED to ruin my day)
5. "I'm a care worker, this is my car" (...)
6. "We could've both carried on with our days without this, but now look!" (activate flux capacitor!)
7. "Don't laugh, or I'll get the law involved!" (arrested for smirking!)
8. "As a care worker, yes, i should think i have a PEN." (...)
9. "AND paper, AND something for you to lean on." (...wow)
10. "I'm going to need your index, too" (big wtf. "what's an index?", i ask. he points to my license plate and looks at me like i'm retarded. "YOUR INDEX NUMBER!" he squeals)
11. "i'll need your address, too!" (the thought of giving this guy my address freaks me out, but fortunately, he immediately forgets that he wants it, and doesn't give the pen & paper back)
12. "What day is it?" (....... i tell him it's monday)
13. "What's the date? You know that too, hm?" (seriously, he got shitty like that, like i was trying be be fucking smart by knowing what fucking day it is)
14. "Here're my details" (he hands me back MY OWN details, so i say "those are mine, prompting him to say...)
15. "HAHA yes, i was just checking to see if you were awake" (.....)
16. *pointing at my crumpled bonnet* "that's your damage, there."
17. "I'm a care worker!" (I KNOW, SHUT THE FUCK UP)

JESUS CHRIST. of all the people i could've hit...

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:37 (nineteen years ago)

YOU IDIOT

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:40 (nineteen years ago)

Hunt the guy down like a dog, and SLAY HIM.

(bad luck w/r/t hitting the guy, though)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:41 (nineteen years ago)

he sounds like an arse so worth hitting?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:41 (nineteen years ago)

i'd be pissed off if someone drove into the back of me, i think, but then i don't drive so careometer.jpg tbh.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:43 (nineteen years ago)

I would be pissed off also, but I wouldn't talk to someone in such a condescending shithead manner if someone did do that.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:44 (nineteen years ago)

if duder was smirking, i probably would get condescending.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:45 (nineteen years ago)

but it was an accident! i never really understand why people get so upset about such things. bit of a hassle, but these things happen.

― gem (trisk), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:46 (nineteen years ago)

i don't know the details of the crashee's life, but maybe a 'bit of a hassle' for you is the last straw for him.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:48 (nineteen years ago)

worth hitting, yes. like i said to the guy "it's happened to me too. you say sorry, you move on." fucker wouldn't accept my apology AT ALL.

one time, some guy hit the back of my car, i took it to the repair shop, they gave me a hire car, and 3 days later, someone went into the back of that, too. the second time, I WAS LAUGHING. no need to be a shithead.

fs, i spelled "list" wrong. KIT MAEKS A TYPO.

when people say stupid stuff, it's hard not to smirk.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:48 (nineteen years ago)

kit, how did you actually run into the back of him? Were you just not paying attention, or was it his fault in some way?

(not that any of that would make other dude any less of a twat)

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:49 (nineteen years ago)

nah, course it was my fault. it's not that i wasn't looking, i was looking at the bus that changed its indicator at the same moment that i was pulling out. i was worried the bus hadn't seen me, so i kept my eye on it. it didn't start moving, so i carried on, looked ahead again and OH NOES CAR *crunch*. so i was looking at the wrong thing.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:51 (nineteen years ago)

contender for least compassionate "care worker" ever.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:52 (nineteen years ago)

even if it was your fault... it's not like you saw him there and thought 'this chappy looks like a CARE WORKER, think i'll just prang up the back of his car for a laugh'

― gem (trisk), Monday, 25 September 2006 08:52 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I nearly crashed into the side of someone the other day. I was pulling out of the carpark at work, but there were cars and a big van parked on the street (the van was on the corner of my carpark and the the street) blocking my view so I couldn't see right down the street. So out I pulled, almost into the side of a car driving up the street which I hadn't noticed. Christ did I get a fuckload of abuse and I hadn't even hit her or caused her to swerve, yet she still stopped to get out and shout at me :-/

Once I accidentally cut a bloke up on a roundabout and he swung round, stopped diagonally in front of me so I couldn't move, then got out and started screaming at me. I was terrified he was going to drag me out of the car and start hitting me, so I kept the windows up and the door locked. He was ranting, so I did the universal little "hands up" apology gesture, and got a whole bunch of "are you giving me the finger?" (er, no?) "are you taking the piss?" etc. I really did think he might resort to violence. OK, I was in the wrong, but shit happens, no-one got hurt, I had waved to apologise to him for, erm, not hitting him, but no, he had to get all macho and eye-poppingly aggressive about it.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 25 September 2006 09:03 (nineteen years ago)

by the end of it, i was kinda hopeing he was gonna take a swing at me tbh.

obv, the list above is just the highlights. he said way more than this, most of it dumb, all of it in the same patronising, self-important tone.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 09:06 (nineteen years ago)

Dude, you drove a car into him. As long as he doesn't hit you, he can say whatever he likes.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

otm

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:25 (nineteen years ago)

shit, he just phoned me to get my address.
i'm going to beef up security at Kitten Towers.

turns out this isn't going to cost me a penny, and i have protected no claims. SO WORTH IT.

i didn't drive into HIM, i drove into his car. huge difference. it's no excuse to be an asshole. or is it? i never found myself being an asshole when i was in his position. it's happened to me three times.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:27 (nineteen years ago)

he really got in my face, literally moved his face within 6 inches of mine when he CHALLENGED me to tell him the date. looking back, i'm seriously starting to think that he was kinda provoking me into smacking him in the face, so he could sue my ignorant ass aswell.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

shit, he just phoned me to get my address.
i'm going to beef up security at Kitten Towers.

right, because his insurance company will never need this.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

dude, that was a joke.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

haha kit you're a crap driver

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:40 (nineteen years ago)

otm, but at least i'm not an asshole.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:40 (nineteen years ago)

plz note that i'm not calling ken an asshole.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:41 (nineteen years ago)

you're supposed to smile to let me know that you're ok when i tell you that, like richard hammond

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:43 (nineteen years ago)

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

artist's impression of the accident

ihttp://www.rosenbergillustration.com/images/PP-rock-n-roll-racing.jpg

― The Real DG (D to thee G), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

Some guy had the gall to bollock ME after he drove straight into the back of my bike on a quiet straight suburban road on a Sunday afternoon. He nearly broke my leg but oh-no it was my fault because I was listening to a walkman while I was riding. Plonker.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:46 (nineteen years ago)

you were listening to a walkman while you were riding??!?!?!?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:47 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, why after all would a cyclist need the sense of hearing?

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:48 (nineteen years ago)

(the bizzies actually fined me money once for doing that!)

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:48 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, deaf people shouldn't go on bikes!

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

Artist's impression, revised edition:

http://www.kittenrecords.co.uk/slypics/careworker.jpg

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:50 (nineteen years ago)

blind people are okay, though

xpost

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:52 (nineteen years ago)

huge difference. it's no excuse to be an asshole. or is it? i never found myself being an asshole when i was in his position. it's happened to me three times.

Then you're a saint. He still gets to say whatever he likes.

also WTF at cycling with headphones.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:54 (nineteen years ago)

to be fair, car drivers get to play stereo -- they can't hear shit.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

I see ppl riding round on bikes, wearing headphones all the time. It does my head in, they must be total mentalists.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:57 (nineteen years ago)

i wore headphones cycling for mroe than a decade, man and boy, and never once got hit/hit anyone.

i did get done in by the bulls though.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

understanding that people make mistakes doesn't make me a saint.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

you were listening to a walkman while you were riding??!?!?!?
-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 25th, 2006 12:47 PM. (ken c)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yeah, why after all would a cyclist need the sense of hearing?
-- EARLY-90S MAN (miltonpinsk...), September 25th, 2006 12:48 PM. (Enrique)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(the bizzies actually fined me money once for doing that!)
-- EARLY-90S MAN (miltonpinsk...), September 25th, 2006 12:48 PM. (Enrique)

Yeh yeh, but don't people listen to music at all volumes in their cars? I was listening to Talkie Walkie on low volume. And this guy was so close up my rear and literally no-one in sight for 200m on either side of us. It was the quietest day in Letchworth - no shops open, nothing. Plus I'm pretty sure the guy was drunk (as is traditional for Letchworth residents on a Sunday afternoon). It didn't help that he had his mother and wife in the back of the car tsk-ing at me and waggling their fingers. He'd missed my leg by about 2 inches.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:15 (nineteen years ago)

only a fool ignores the 2 second rule

either you were driving too fast or too close or you weren't paying attention or all 3.

he's got every right to be pissed right off - i don't want people like you ruining my day either ta - lots of uninsured people out there too.

one thing i don't understand is how his care worker status makes any fucking diff tho', if he's gonna be a gratuitous cunt let the universe take of it

― beeble (beeble), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:17 (nineteen years ago)

You should have said you were HURT. He would have helped you then. After all, he's a CARE WORKER.

― StanM (StanM), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:29 (nineteen years ago)

"lots of uninsured people out there too."

isn't that illegal?

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:31 (nineteen years ago)

xpost

touche

or blink serenely and ask 'why are you being so aggressive?' guaranteed to induce fawlty-esque rage

― beeble (beeble), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:32 (nineteen years ago)

People are allowed to say whatever they like even when there's no car crash. it's a free country.

being a victim of a car crash doens't make saying idiotic things less idiotic, or rude things less rude.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:50 (nineteen years ago)

no, it would have been out of line for the crasher to be rude to the crashee; whereas the other way round it's fair enough really.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

i think it depends how rude. don't think it's a say-whatever-you-like situation.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:00 (nineteen years ago)

the guy who got hit by kit seemed alright really, but the care worker thing is still stupid, and the date thing.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:01 (nineteen years ago)

People are allowed to say whatever they like even when there's no car crash. it's a free country.
-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 25th, 2006.
[...]

don't think it's a say-whatever-you-like situation.
-- ken c (pykachu10...), September 25th, 2006.

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:03 (nineteen years ago)

don't think it's a say-whatever-you-like-and-still-be-not-into-the-unreasonably-rude situation, how's that? i didn't know you had so little comprehension skills.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:05 (nineteen years ago)

kidding. re: the didn't know bit

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

omg kit you didn't tell him "calm down dear it's only a commercial"?????????????????????????????????

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

hahaha

― EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:24 (nineteen years ago)

DAMN! Once in a lifetime opportunity, gone. STUPID KIT.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

I'm guessing "care workers" don't make much money, so this could be quite a problem for him. People say all kinds of things when they're flustered. I was expecting some real stupid shit from the thread title. When you make a mistake, do you often switch to "ridicule the other guy" mode?

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:30 (nineteen years ago)

Whether he makes any money in his job or not is irrelevant, kit's insurance will pay for it.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:32 (nineteen years ago)

i normally switch to that mode when people do stupid things

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:33 (nineteen years ago)

"As a care worker, yes, i should think i have a PEN."

COME ON PEOPLE, THIS IS FUNNY

― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:36 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe care-worker-guy was disproportionately angry because he didn't have any insurance, or is driving-while-banned or something and knew he was going to get into all sorts of trouble just because you accidentally crunched into his car.

― C J (C J), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:39 (nineteen years ago)

As a software engineer, yes, I think I should have a PEN.

― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:42 (nineteen years ago)

kit, was this the guy?
http://www.sitcom.co.uk/green_wing/graphics/char_alan.jpg

― i am not a nugget (stevie), Monday, 25 September 2006 12:43 (nineteen years ago)

that's one hell of a liost

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:09 (nineteen years ago)

lol Mark Heap...

erm, 60-odd posts and no mention of Richard Hammond? What's up with you people?

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:11 (nineteen years ago)

whoops, i stand corrected. sorry, ken.

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:12 (nineteen years ago)

like i said to the guy "it's happened to me too. you say sorry, you move on." fucker wouldn't accept my apology AT ALL

Are you supposed to say sorry? I was told never to apologize, even if it's blatantly your fault, because if you admit responsibility the insurance companies won't pay up.

I had a very similar experience many years ago, having borrowed my parents' car to drive to a job interview. In the stop-start traffic on the way into Brighton I decided it would be a good idea to look at the map on the passenger seat while still driving. The stationary car in front which I smashed into had a big spiky thing sticking out its back for attaching trailers - this smashed through the bonnet of my parents' car making a big V-shape and causing about a thousand pounds' worth of damage, but left his car completely unscathed. The bloke shouted at me a lot, but I didn't say sorry, I just looked sheepish and swapped addresses (he never got in touch and never made a claim). I didn't get the job either.

― Teh littlest HoBBo (the pirate king), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

isn't that illegal?
Yes, but the fines are waaaay less than the cost of insurance, *and* you don't get points. So a lot of people, particularly young and poor, take the gamble they won't crash.

― stet (stet), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:26 (nineteen years ago)

我有壓力 ! 你有壓力 !
"I have stress! You have stress!"

未解決 !
"Not resolved!"

― autovac (autovac), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:28 (nineteen years ago)

in my experience careworkers can be pretty prickly characters

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:30 (nineteen years ago)

maybe he isn't a care worker at all, but the care worker's caree. the care worker is presently gagged and tied to a chair in caree's basement.

― emsk ( emsk), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:42 (nineteen years ago)

that wouldn't surprise me at all.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:47 (nineteen years ago)

he sounds like an arse so worth hitting?

STeveM in analsex admission.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

Or in his trunk. That might explain the behavior.

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 25 September 2006 13:50 (nineteen years ago)

wtf is a careworker.

also, yeah, dude can be pissed off about getting rear-ended, but this shit is hilarious. if it's fair play to fly off the handle over an inconvenient, but ultimately not-very-injurious accident, then it's equally fair play to think said apoplectic handle-flying is totally cunty and roffletastic.

― gbx (skowly), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:17 (nineteen years ago)

(unless of course the guy had no/poor insurance, in which case, yeah, you probably fucked him up financially)

― gbx (skowly), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:22 (nineteen years ago)

14. "Here're my details" (he hands me back MY OWN details, so i say "those are mine, prompting him to say...)
15. "HAHA yes, i was just checking to see if you were awake" (.....)

ROFFLE

― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:23 (nineteen years ago)

see, i'm totally paying for his shit to be fixed.
if i wanted to be a proper asshole, i could've taken my own details back when he gave them to me, and driven away, leaving him with a fucked up rear bumper, no way of contacting me, and therefore a nice little repair bill.

new development: FUCK YOU, £100 EXCESS.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:25 (nineteen years ago)

bummer.

fact: the person that does the rear-ending almost always comes out worse in the long-run. insurance premiums, deductibles, etc. which is why guys flipping out over how you ruined their day is sorta laughable. whatever dude, your car is getting fixed for free, and I'm out a few hundred (not including the hike in my insurance).

― gbx (skowly), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

gbx otm.

― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:30 (nineteen years ago)

i get no insurance hike, but yes, this is the way i was looking at it, too.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:31 (nineteen years ago)

plus, every time it happened to me, i got a hire car, for FREE!! which, every time, was WAY better than my actual car. it was faster, had aircon and a CD player, and didn't smell like an ashtray. i always hate getting my own car back by the end of it all.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

http://bambulance.ytmnd.com/

― PappaWheelie says, ''only pick any'' (PappaWheelie 2), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

more like waaaaah-mbulance amirite

― gbx (skowly), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

OMG someone just drove into the back of someone else's car just up the road from my shop!! I didn't hear it, I just hears "screeeeeeeech-bump", and when I looked out, this guy in a 4x4 was apologising to a woman in a little renault. Blimey.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

I'm a care worker, this is my car

hi!

― jhoshea (scoopsnoodle), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:33 (nineteen years ago)

Having protected no claims doesn't mean your premiums won't go up kit. They'll put your premium up because you had an accident and you'll get your same NC discount from the increased premium.

Guy sounds like a cunt but people crashing into you often does that.

I once had a guy scream "BUT I'M IN THE NATIONAL FARMERS UNION!" at me in the street after I dared to question his policy details. I don't think he realised that "farmer = trustworthy" didn't really work during the BSE/CJD scare.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

maybe he was a chicken farmer *sneezE*

i love you, autovac!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:55 (nineteen years ago)

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