IF the devil was real (and I'm not saying he is), do you like him?

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Everyone likes spy movies, including people who claim they don't, but for some reason, people have a problem with someone we all know and love, Satan, the Devil, who is God's Secret Agent

The word "Satan" (Ha-Stn from the Hebrew for "adversary") comes from the Old Testament, especially the Book of Job. Satan's role as an adversary was to wander the Earth in pursuit of those who did not keep the faith and who broke God's law. Satan was authorized by the Hebrew God to test and tempt humans to demonstrate their lack of moral goodness. The planet Saturn, which rules the devil's sign Capricorn, is traditionally called the Great Teacher and Taskmaster.

The Devil is often modeled after the god Pan.

Speak of the Devil and the Devil appears. And when the devil appears, we are often being tempted and tested to prove our faith in human goodness. The test frequently involves facing what we fear the most. Perhaps we have been too greedy or overly obsessed with money, sex or power at the expense of what makes us truly human. The Devil tells us that we have created our own chains of bondage by our negative attitudes and unwise desires.

The fall of Adam was synonymous with the fall of Satan, which is a nice big fat clue. Another clue is that the Old Dragon / Serpent has been identified through ancient texts as the human body with it's 7 chakras (7 headed Dragon of Revelations) and that the "Dragon's Treasure" is actually the jewel of the enlightened pineal gland in Buddhist texts:

http://www.caduceus.nl/images/logoCL.gif

Psalms 91:4 -- "He will cover you with his feathers. Under his wings you will take refuge. His faithfulness is your shield and rampart."

Personally, I love Satan. He is the ruler of this world. Every challenge He offers allows me the opportunity to better myself. But, he also doesn't mind so much when I kill people and fuck their corpse, if you know what I mean...

― Butt Dickass (Dick Butkus), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:27 (nineteen years ago)

"Butt Dickass"

― EsteBAN LOUIS JAGGER (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:36 (nineteen years ago)

That's so true. Ye have wisdom.

― Butt Dickass (Dick Butkus), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:37 (nineteen years ago)

He looks like my uncle Jerome and is therefore a major creep.

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:39 (nineteen years ago)

You've seen Satan, then? Do YOU happen to look like your uncle Jerome, by any chance?

― Butt Dickass (Dick Butkus), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:41 (nineteen years ago)

But, he also doesn't mind so much when I kill people and fuck their corpse, if you know what I mean...

Erm, I don't, but please, do go on...

― You've Got Scourage On Your Breath (Haberdager), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:43 (nineteen years ago)

My great-grandpa wrote a self-published memoir about how he met the devil in the woods of Idaho. According to his eyewitness account, the debbil is a yeti.

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:43 (nineteen years ago)

My family had this Mormon storybook about the pre-existence 'war in heaven' & mr. lucifer was a striking match of my uncle Jerome. Not a sasquatch. Growing up in this kind of family, demonic possesion was a serious fear for little Abbott.

― Abbott (Abbott), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:45 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, well, I grew up a Jehovah's Witness (not really, but my mom and brother were) and so I distinctly remember watching MTV's Headbanger's Ball while a fucking "possessed" woman slept in my bed (her father was molesting her) and I was thinking, "Hmmm, it's funny that she seems AT PEACE IN MY ROOM since I HAVE THE SATANIC BIBLE UNDER MY MATTRESS!!!!!!!!!! (and I had a whole slew of Satanic Heavy Metal in there)... The next day, I swear this 20-something chick (hot,too) was hitting on me and I was about 14 and thinking, "Hmmm... you're pretty much ruined, aren't you? It probably wouldn't be worth it to fuck you. I'll wait for someone who's half-sane..." I think I made the right choice because now, look at me: I'm so fucking sane it's insane!

― Butt Dickass (Dick Butkus), Saturday, 30 September 2006 00:52 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.mgar.net/images4/iberlin.jpg

― Kiwi (Kiwi), Saturday, 30 September 2006 01:04 (nineteen years ago)

That guy has intestinal disorder.

― Butt Dickass (Dick Butkus), Saturday, 30 September 2006 01:09 (nineteen years ago)

nah hes just trying to order destiny, tell me more about the bible

― Hardcore Ayn Rand (Kiwi), Saturday, 30 September 2006 02:50 (nineteen years ago)

when I believed in the devil he looked like a walking tree. hell had really low ceilings(SHUDDER).

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Saturday, 30 September 2006 02:56 (nineteen years ago)

http://earthhopenetwork.net/bush%20art/bush_satan_worship.jpg

― how much, latebloomer? (latebloomer), Saturday, 30 September 2006 09:01 (nineteen years ago)

in the bottom left pic: he should stick those fingers up his arse, he's clearly constipated.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Saturday, 30 September 2006 09:04 (nineteen years ago)

*ponders statement*

http://www.algonet.se/~tourtel/images/_miscellaneous/lucifer.jpg

― how much, latebloomer? (latebloomer), Saturday, 30 September 2006 09:07 (nineteen years ago)

Sorry guys, I was extremely drunk when I started this thread and only now did I realize it existed. What a coincidence-- I'm extremely drunk again. Okay, so now who wants to talk about our friend, Satan?

― Butt Dickass (Dick Butkus), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 00:13 (nineteen years ago)

blue dress on or off?

― The PappaWheelie Story: Half Brain, Half Soul, All Mouth (on sale now) (PappaWhe, Wednesday, 4 October 2006 01:25 (nineteen years ago)

only if he's like the devil in master & margarita.

― Maria (Maria), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 01:31 (nineteen years ago)

if the serpent in the garden of eden is supposed to be satan (never was clear on that) then he's a very sympathetic character to me.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 06:27 (nineteen years ago)

no he wasn't satan was he? just your every common or garden snake. Satan was an ex angel wasn't he? didn't like what god was up to re creating 'man'.

well everyone loves darth vadar right? i spose villains are just likable - until they burn your eyes right out that is.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 07:49 (nineteen years ago)

No, Satan was the Adversary. The Serpent was the liberator. That is the paradox of the 2 Testaments. Man is his own worst enemy due to the limits of his knowledge (Tree of Knowledge), but if properly applied, this knowledge leads to liberation ("be wise as a serpent"). Satan is like a built-in learning machine of the human ego.

Revelations speaks of destruction of the world by fire, which is exactly how mystics describe enlightenment through Kundalini. The Serpent-Fire (that's actually what kundalini is called) raises to the brain (see caduceus) through the 7 chakras (7 headed dragon). This Serpent-Fire is actually an oily substance which is a combination of chemicals and hormones created in the Holy Living Temple through proper cultivation (attitude, diet, exercise) and this oily substance is what is implied by the term Jesus Christ, which refers to annointing the head with oil, symbolic of this process. Also, within the number of Jesus Christ is found the number of the sun, 666, which is also the number for the term "messiah." This refers to the transformative power of enlightenment by the Serpent Fire. We are all solar-powered beasts capable of self-transformation.

― Butt Dickass (Dick Butkus), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 08:07 (nineteen years ago)

Chorus:
The Devil is my friend
The Devil is my friend
Wherever I go, the Devil goes
The Devil is my friend

I went out one spring morning
To find myself a friend
Someone I could believe in
Until the very end
I found myself the Devil
He was sitting in a bar
He bought me fifteen Rum and Cokes
And then he went too far
Now

Chorus

And now it's Easter
I'm feeling mighty low
That dirty rotten Devil
He said he had to go
Dirty stinking Devil
I'll shoot him with my gun
The Devil's bad, he made me mad
The Devil is a bum
But

Chorus

And Godzilla is my friend
Godzilla is my friend
Wherever I go, Godzilla goes
Godzilla is my friend

And Frank Sinatra is my friend
Frank Sinatra is my friend
Wherever I go Sinatra goes
Frankie is my friend

Chenenko was my friend
And Brezhnev was my friend
And Andropov he just dropped off
Now Gorbachev is my friend

And Love And Rockets are my friends
Love and Rockets are my friend
David, Kevin, Daniel
Everyone of them round the bend

And the Queen is my friend
Harvey Dean is my friend
And Idi Amin know what I mean? -
Was someone they met at a party

― Three In A Bed Socks Romp (kate), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 08:30 (nineteen years ago)

The Louvin Brothers to thread.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 4 October 2006 10:12 (nineteen years ago)

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