security guards, classic or horribly, colossally DUD?

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― the orchid and the wasp (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

Well clearly THAT security guard is no dud.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

I worked as a security guard once, and I hope I was not horribly, colossally dud! The job kind of was, though. It consisted of wearing a huge badge with a startling portrait of Andy Warhol and the word "SECURITY," and wandering around an art museum telling people not to touch the paintings.

― Maria (Maria), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

i'm a law-abiding citizen (for the most part) and i've always gotten along fine with police officers. but i did have some run-ins with authority figures when i was younger and this is the one thing that carries over into adulthood -- an outright hatred of security guards. and i'm finding that at all of the gigs i've gone to out here, there's tremendous security presence, guys in uniforms who block doorways and fold their arms and force people to move if they're sitting or standing in the wrong place. it's scary, and it doesn't make for a very rock 'n' roll atmosphere.

― the orchid and the wasp (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:16 (nineteen years ago)

maria, women guards are nice. i'm sure you were fine.

― the orchid and the wasp (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 30 October 2006 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

They make me feel very ... secure.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:45 (nineteen years ago)

I hate security guards slightly less than I hate university "police" officers.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:50 (nineteen years ago)

I like to stand in or near doorways - this has caused a considerable deal of friction with security personal over the years.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:51 (nineteen years ago)

My god I used to give the union door monitors (I forget their official name) at university a whole heap of shit. This may not surprise some of you.

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Monday, 30 October 2006 17:57 (nineteen years ago)

THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING BESTBUY. SEE THIS ENORMOUS ROW OF MONITORS I'M STANDING IN FRONT OF? THE GARTH BROOKS/BRITNEY SPEARS MICROPHONE HEADSET ON TOP OF MY HEAD? DON'T THINK THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING, THANK YOU!

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

At the entry gate to the second Lollapalooza, I had these pencil-necked overtanned roided-out dudes telling me I had to discard the chain that attached my wallet to my belt, or I wouldn't be let in. Didn't matter that I was let in last year with the chain (of course not -- probably a completely different security crew), the attitude that clearly I just couldn't handle REALITY. Mentally, I was all "oh, sure, laugh at me -- you're basically a hall monitor with muscles -- and your balls are probably the size of peas."

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:10 (nineteen years ago)

you're basically a hall monitor with muscles

ayup

― the orchid and the wasp (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:13 (nineteen years ago)

I wrote this on ILx about a month after 9/11 (stuff in brackets are new additions): Picking up a package from a real estate company as a favor for a principal, I got my knapsack thoroughly checked by a security guard [at the lobby of a midtown building]. Then I was sent to the messenger desk by the side of the building [outside, mind you], out of eyeshot of the security guard (thereby rendering my bag search rather pointless), where another security guard escorted me to my floor.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

I hate security guards slightly less than I hate university "police" officers.

Okay, I was once, umm, detained by a university police officer for something, and it was almost worth it for sheer comedy value. The best bit was when he had to radio back to base to report my detainment, and insisted on using unnecessary cool-guy CB code the whole time, like:

COP: The name is Nabisco ... that's Nicholas, Adam, Buford, Ivan ...
BORED-SOUNDING WOMAN: Wait, hold on, that's N-A-B-I ...
COP: I said that's NICHOLAS, ADAM, BUFORD ...
BORED-SOUNDING WOMAN: N-A-B-I ...
COP: BUFORD IVAN SUPERMAN
BORED-SOUNDING WOMAN: I-S
COP: CREDENZA OSCAR
BORED-SOUNDING WOMAN: N-A-B-I-S-C-O
COP: Nicholas Adam Buford Ivan Superman Credenza Oscar.
BORED-SOUNDING WOMAN: OKAY.
COP: Thank you, dispatch. Over and out.
BORED-SOUNDING WOMAN: Bye, Phil.

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:31 (nineteen years ago)

dudes doing a shitty job for little pay - is a little respect/tolerance for the working stiff too much to ask these days? (i know, some are assholes, but you get them everywhere)

― timmy tannin (pompous), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:34 (nineteen years ago)

I said they make me feel more secure!

― nabisco (nabisco), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:41 (nineteen years ago)

Actually, they make me feel more anxious, and that's regardless of how well they do their job. When I see them I'm like, hey wait a minute, why does this place need a security guard?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

'little pay'? nightclub security usually get a few wraps of coke every night, sometimes from the club owners. i think the one who beat the shit out of me for 20 minutes and kicked me in the head was pretty buzzed.

― steve 'scratch' perry (listerine), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

fwiw, I would distingush club bouncers from rent-a-cop security guards.

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Monday, 30 October 2006 18:58 (nineteen years ago)

i wasn't refering to nightclub guards, i guess there are always exceptions. most security guards at companies where i've worked, and at school, are actually pretty cool, if you take the time to talk to them.

― timmy tannin (pompous), Monday, 30 October 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

If you think you hate them now, you should go shopping in any new department store anywhere in Eastern Europe, where they're literally two steps behind you everywhere you go, breathing heavily down your neck. This is especially bad if you're native, not a foreign tourist who they assume have lots of cash to spare.

― Jena (JenaP), Monday, 30 October 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySrWQh7Spuc

― S- (sgh), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 00:41 (nineteen years ago)

The ones at the library are nice. There's one who wears an old man-ish kind of cologne, another who looks like he should be in a television program about the police, another who might be named Gladys, etc.

― youn (youn), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 00:54 (nineteen years ago)

I think I know Cutty's answer.

― new new wave of new wave new rave (fandango), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 01:07 (nineteen years ago)

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