Is it creepy for a young man with no kids of his own to enjoy playing with other people's children?

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i tried to just post this as a poll, but i don't think it worked.

(asked after coming back from a friend's house and spending about an hour playing with her 1.5 yr old daughter, reading to her, etc)

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:29 (seventeen years ago) link

tears before bedtime

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:30 (seventeen years ago) link

no.

― Frogman Henry, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:30 (seventeen years ago) link

no.

― Beth Parker, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:33 (seventeen years ago) link

no.

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:35 (seventeen years ago) link

if by 'playing with' you mean 'frigging off' then yes. If by playing with you mean 'enjoying the company of' then no. If you need to ask, you are probably closer to a) than b) so stay the fuck away from your friend's kids you saddo.

― Charlie, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:36 (seventeen years ago) link

no.
though yr "etc" might be suspicious..

― Zeno, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:38 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.fotosearch.com/comp/IGS/IGS646/IS179-006.jpg

― marmotwolof, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:39 (seventeen years ago) link

clarification of "playing": "patty cake," making funny sounds and imitating them back and forth, throwing a ball/balloon, counting numbers on my fingers and trying to get her to imitate them, pointing to pictures in a book and naming them with her, and wiping off her chin after she drools on it every 5 seconds.

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Just like the racist thread, I wonder why you're asking in the first place.

― Pleasant Plains, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:51 (seventeen years ago) link

so people will make modestmichael pedo jokes while he jerks off

― marmotwolof, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:55 (seventeen years ago) link

fake mickey not keeping par with original material

― ▒█▄█ ▄▄ ▒█▄█, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:56 (seventeen years ago) link

god, i sound like dj martian

― ▒█▄█ ▄▄ ▒█▄█, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:57 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm honestly wondering. paedo-related fear mongering is huge right now. i'd say it's almost on the same level as terrorism-related fear mongering.

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:58 (seventeen years ago) link

You're probably right there but theres no need to buy into it yself here ffs, gah. Way to bring the derision onto yr head.

― Trayce, Sunday, 1 April 2007 01:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Also PP OTM

― Trayce, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:00 (seventeen years ago) link

trayce, how can you say i'm "probably right" about the prevalence of paedo-paranoia, and then "OTM" wondering why i'd start this thread? is that not, uh, contradictory?

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:02 (seventeen years ago) link

well unless you have some sort of criminal record i'd say you have nothing to worry about

― rps, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:09 (seventeen years ago) link

haha

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:10 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm not being contradictory really I just think: why add to the paranoia?

― Trayce, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:21 (seventeen years ago) link

i am sending you an email!

― SusanD, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:35 (seventeen years ago) link

(xpost)

― SusanD, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:35 (seventeen years ago) link

Is it creepy for a young man with ~~no kids of his own~~ a belly button piercing to enjoy playing with other people's children?

― cutty, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:40 (seventeen years ago) link

answer: yes!

― cutty, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:41 (seventeen years ago) link

does it give you a boner? then the answer is yes.

xpost!

― g®▲Ðұ, Sunday, 1 April 2007 02:43 (seventeen years ago) link

This poster is veering off the mainroad... he should be shot.

― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 1 April 2007 03:46 (seventeen years ago) link

who and what is "eyeball kicks?"

― lfam, Sunday, 1 April 2007 03:59 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah, really. and what the hell makes him think he's a judge of who "should be shot?"

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 04:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I remember hearing a story recently about a research team that hired a child actress to stand on the sidewalk of a busy street and look forlorn/distressed/in need of help. Over the course of a few hours, they counted the number of people who stopped to ask her if she needed help. The result was that about 50 people stopped...of whom almost all were women, and only two were men.

The researchers pointed out, however, that this was not really due to a failure of empathy on the part of the men; when some of those who passed by were asked why they hadn't stopped, almost all of them replied that they noticed the girl's plight, but were afraid that if they stopped, someone would think they were a pedophile. One wonders if that's really the kind of world we want to live in, though I don't know what to do about it, exactly.

So basically, Charlie completely not OTM with "if you need to ask". Lots and lots of people assume that men + kids = pedophilia, unless the man is the father of the kids in question. (At least in the States, that is; things are different elsewhere.) And not even that is enough -- psychologists have devoted plenty of ink to the effect it has on a female child's development when her father stops or curtails physical affectionate with her, for fear of "inappropriate contact" etc.

In fact, the more I reflect, the more Charlie is the opposite of OTM. When I think about people I've known who are survivors of abuse, they often describe a complete lack of boundaries on the part of their abuser. So the fact that you're asking the question is a good sign -- I daresay children are in far more danger from those with no sense of boundaries, and who would never think to ask that question.

Anyway, sorry to interrupt -- do carry on with the smug, self-congratulatory Mickey roast or whatever.

― lurker #2421, Sunday, 1 April 2007 05:00 (seventeen years ago) link

lurker #2421, i appreciate the thoughtful post, so i hope you don't take offense at what i'm about to say. that said: what does it say about the world we live in when you had to be anonymous to say that?

and regarding lack of boundaries - i don't think that relates at all. never once has it crossed my mind that i may in fact be crossing boundaries over acceptable behavior with children. i am not a pedophile, and am not in any way whatsoever approaching being one. this thread is about society's views on suspect behavior.

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 05:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Well, no, that (bit about boundaries) was more directed at "if you need to ask" -- i.e. that Charlie's comment was just way, way off.

As for anonymity, I decided a while ago that if I were to participate in ILX in even the very limited way that I now do, it would be better to do it at least semi-anonymously. ILX was once a place where using one's real name seemed like a non-issue; now it isn't. So it goes.

― lurker #2421, Sunday, 1 April 2007 05:19 (seventeen years ago) link

fair enough. i don't blame you. i'd love to go back to the anonymity i once had here, but that's clearly impossible.

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 05:38 (seventeen years ago) link

computers are pretty hard sometimes :(

― river wolf, Sunday, 1 April 2007 06:52 (seventeen years ago) link

Just don't narc out the kids to their folks.

― dan m, Sunday, 1 April 2007 07:07 (seventeen years ago) link

in response to the original question: no.

― Rich Smörgasbord, Sunday, 1 April 2007 07:16 (seventeen years ago) link

i must echo everyone and say... why do you need to ask?

― kenan, Sunday, 1 April 2007 07:17 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh ffs, people, please stop having this halo effect on his actions: it wasn't because he did one thing wrong, that everything else should be seen in a bad light. If he were a woman, would you regard his actions and question as less dubious? No. It's because he's a man (like lurker said). Mickey, there's nothing to feel weird about. Of course he asks: we live in a society where pedophelia has had a lot of attention. People have had to restric their actions because it could be interpreted in the wrong way.

Mickey, I think it's VERY cute and endearing that you played with kids! Was it just a passing moment or was it father instinct? ;-)

― nathalie, Sunday, 1 April 2007 07:54 (seventeen years ago) link

who and what is "eyeball kicks?"

-- lfam, Sunday, 1 April 2007

Just so you know: the question mark goes outside the quotes.

― Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 1 April 2007 11:18 (seventeen years ago) link

[i]If he were a woman, would you regard his actions and question as less dubious? [/]

a narc is a narc, nathalie.

― That one guy that quit, Sunday, 1 April 2007 11:26 (seventeen years ago) link

― Ed, Sunday, 1 April 2007 11:59 (seventeen years ago) link

No, its not creepy. Its a shame it makes you so worried. There's a school up the road from me, and I kind of smile when I see and hear them playing, because its sweet (you can tell I don't have kids, yes??). Then I worry if anyone has seen me smiling at children and is thinking I'm about to abduct one of them.

vague tangent - is this why kids seem increasingly alienated from older people, or is that just because I'm getting old?

― hobart paving, Sunday, 1 April 2007 12:22 (seventeen years ago) link

This is like when I got chased away from a middle school playground for taking pictures of the kids. It's only creepy if you mean it that way. I just like action shots of jump rope, yo, I don't know what *you* were thinking.

― kenan, Sunday, 1 April 2007 13:07 (seventeen years ago) link

that said, I totally understand why a 32 year old man with a camera is an undesirable presence near a playground. Way out on Cypress Avenue.

― kenan, Sunday, 1 April 2007 13:11 (seventeen years ago) link

http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF215-Kitty_Photographer.jpg#203

― peter james, Sunday, 1 April 2007 17:00 (seventeen years ago) link

psh. alright. images. well, the most recent perry bible fellowship fits.

― peter james, Sunday, 1 April 2007 17:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Heh, yeah, pretty much. (re: the recent PBF)

It's a total truism to say it, but I think all the hysteria about pedophilia tends to produce more pedophiles, not fewer. In any event I tend to raise an eyebrow, at least, at people who constantly foam at the mouth about it -- particularly since most of the people I've known who've been molested want their lives not to be defined by the molestation. (Ellen James to thread!)

― lurker #2421, Sunday, 1 April 2007 18:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Mickey, are you interested romantically in the children's mommy?

― M.V., Sunday, 1 April 2007 18:30 (seventeen years ago) link

TS: "mickey's" cabin fever-fuelled indulgence in online controversy vs louis's sexually-frustrated/confused indulgence in online controversy

-- am0n, Thursday, March 29, 2007 11:07 PM (2 days ago)

― am0n, Sunday, 1 April 2007 19:12 (seventeen years ago) link

Way out on Cypress Avenue.

with the childlike vision leaping into view?

― wanko ergo sum, Sunday, 1 April 2007 19:25 (seventeen years ago) link

M.V., yes, but i don't think that really changes anything

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 20:13 (seventeen years ago) link

am0n, are you gonna pick a side or just pose the question?

― modestmickey, Sunday, 1 April 2007 20:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Mickey, are you interested romantically in the children's mommy?

I totally misread the last word in that sentence as "anatomy". Too much time in the cryptic crossword thread?

― lurker #2421, Sunday, 1 April 2007 20:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Get a dog, dude.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Sunday, 1 April 2007 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Ew, if you are thinking he's a pedo, then you suggest he fuck a dog instead? Dude, I don't think you can just transfer your obsession from one type of victim to something else.

― nathalie, Monday, 2 April 2007 08:22 (seventeen years ago) link

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