Goats - is it stupid to fear them?

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My cousin was head-butted by one of these bearded menaces into an abyss. He was a real cool dude, and had let a couple of small guys pass unmolested, even though there were always talking shit about him. You know - pick on someone your own size and like that. He wasn't a asshole, he just preferred to live under a bridge, you know? Anyway, finally the big brother of the two little loudmouths comes by, and my cuz, he brings it up. He figures this dude should be a role model to his younger siblings and set a good example. Instead of being reasonable, this mofo - I think his name was Bill - starts talking even more trash than his kid broheems. By this time, my cuz had just about had enough and says 'ok, no more of this shit.' And then he gets cold-cocked and breaks his neck at the bottom of the ravine.

Moral of the story - goats are DICKS and have violent natures. I'm scared of them now.

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

Proper parroty threads need proper captialization.

And yes, goats are dicks.

― dan m, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

I want a pet goat!!!

The person across the street has one and I was looking at them today on craigslist. soo cute.

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

oh just fuck off

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

sorry im just really sick of people having a go at goats. they may be boisterous, but goats have hearts of gold

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:43 (nineteen years ago)

having said that, my uncle lived on a farm in france for a while, and the goats were so boisterous that all the other animals were frightened of them, so the goats had to be let out into a separate area from the rest of the animals

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:44 (nineteen years ago)

A woman who lived down the street from me was out sewing outside, when she got headbutted by one of her dozens of goats and quickly inhaled the pin she had stupidly placed in her mouth. I think the goat was trying to kill her, cleverly, because he knew how irritating she was.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:45 (nineteen years ago)

aye, they're canny lads

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

My family bought a 1.5 acre lot in the country, and while they built their house on it (and we lived in a trailer out back), they bought a goat hoping it would eat all the cheat grass and tangees on the property. Of course it didn't, but it was a sweet natured, fun little guy. His name was Blackjack.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

xxpost

??
why was she sewing outside with the goats?

I've long wanted a goat farm when I retire but our neighbor is making me want a pygmy goat now! Hers wears a little pink collar and runs around in the backyard with the chiuaua.

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

it was always donkeys for me. i just dont think im going to be able to keep up with goats, at retirement age. but donkeys should be more manageable, they're a little bit more...measured

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:50 (nineteen years ago)

I am your doom. I am the hourglass-pupilled harvester of souls. Hear the clacking of my hooves and despair.

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:52 (nineteen years ago)

those are some freaky eyes. . .

― Ms Misery, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:54 (nineteen years ago)

Finally! A man willing to stand up for the downtrodden goat.

― Aimless, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

i think everyone is being too melodramatic right now. theyre not vindictive or evil animals, they just have a lot of energy.

unruly, thats the word, it not such a terrible thing

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 20:56 (nineteen years ago)

You are deluded. They are bloodthirsty killers. A menace worse than Hitler plus Stalin time Mao to the Pol Pot power. If it was your cousin you wouldn't be so forgiving.

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:09 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.twistedtree.org.uk/Goat_of_Mendes.jpg

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

im not standing for this shit

this is just typical of nu-ilx, you would think i would have learnt by now

seriously, fuck this

― 696, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:24 (nineteen years ago)

The females are ok, but you don't want to be around a billy goat with a lot of females in the vicinity.

― Michael White, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:26 (nineteen years ago)

I love mohair and cashmere and chevre. Thank you, goats.

― tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:29 (nineteen years ago)

why was she sewing outside with the goats?

I don't know, she just did all her sewing outside for some reason. I think the correct answer is "because she was a big idiot."

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

Goats are the heart of any petting zoo.

Actually, when I was 5, my parents took me to the petting zoo & then sneaked off behind the fence when I wasn't looking. I was convinced they had abandoned me, started crying for about 5 minutes, until I heard them laughing outside the fence. Assholes. The goats probably would have raised me better.

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:01 (nineteen years ago)

Goats fucking stink, but they sure are cute.

My condolences to your cousin the troll.

― luna, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 22:11 (nineteen years ago)

My cousin was not a troll! He was a perfectly normal, happy, well adjusted* person. The pro-goatist media always slanders the victim in these cases to hide the truth about those foul, horned threats. They are a hairy, stinky cancer eating western civilization from within, like a tin can or a cluster of buttercups.

* OK fine, also fictional.

― Oilyrags, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:49 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.booksamillion.com/bam/covers/0/59/043/350/0590433504.jpg

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:51 (nineteen years ago)

He can't figure out whether to eat the orange huice cup or the toxic green human brain!

― Abbott, Tuesday, 15 May 2007 23:51 (nineteen years ago)

The males piss all over themselves to attract females. Yuck.

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 00:39 (nineteen years ago)

Don't knock it. If it works, it works. Why for do you think humans have armpit hair?

― Aimless, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 00:44 (nineteen years ago)

these things eat baseballs. they are terrifying.

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 00:44 (nineteen years ago)

But who pisses in their armpit hair?

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 00:47 (nineteen years ago)

andi to thread

― Just got offed, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 00:48 (nineteen years ago)

Goats are tasty. In curries.

― Drooone, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 00:50 (nineteen years ago)

When an armpit's good and ripe, pissing on it would be... superfluous. (I believe that would be le mot juste.)

― Aimless, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 00:52 (nineteen years ago)

It would also be ridiculously difficult to aim....I'd imagine.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:02 (nineteen years ago)

Remember the "goat-listener" on greenspun???

― Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:04 (nineteen years ago)

It could take your eye out.

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:05 (nineteen years ago)

I had a dream last night about a ghost-whisperer, I kid you not. I woke up this morning wondering what the hell a ghost-whisperer was.

― Hard like armour, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:06 (nineteen years ago)

re greenspun, does anyone else think michael silverblatt lives in a very dank basement & never ever leaves it?

― deeznuts, Wednesday, 16 May 2007 01:08 (nineteen years ago)

one year passes...

http://spdblotter.seattle.gov/2009/02/04/goat-reunited-with-owner-in-west-seattle/

West Seattle can rest safely tonight.

― brotherlovesdub, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 19:33 (seventeen years ago)

I forget what I was spoofing with this thread. Ghosts maybe?

― Dear Tacos, how are you? I am fine. The weather is nice. I miss yo (Oilyrags), Wednesday, 4 February 2009 21:45 (seventeen years ago)

oddly there were quite a few goat threads i could have revived. this one was the first one i clicked and chose it 100% based on thread title.

― brotherlovesdub, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 22:06 (seventeen years ago)

ghosts: is it stupid to fear them?

― nabisco, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 22:21 (seventeen years ago)

seven months pass...

http://3.media.tumblr.com/9cyPFQbgCo3aw4c3cNcLDQ2to1_400.jpg

― *:--☆--:*:--☆:*:--☆--:*:--☆--: (ENBB), Saturday, 26 September 2009 13:25 (sixteen years ago)

^^^ WKIW that kid and her goat.

― *:--☆--:*:--☆:*:--☆--:*:--☆--: (ENBB), Saturday, 26 September 2009 13:26 (sixteen years ago)

u might not be scared of the goats, but teh goats are scared of u

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cK7eUzbcyRo

― Andrew "Nice" Clay (Pillbox), Saturday, 26 September 2009 13:48 (sixteen years ago)

I am fond of them. I like how they are domesticated, but they make it clear they are not your pet.

― MCCCXI (u s steel), Saturday, 26 September 2009 13:50 (sixteen years ago)

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