management fads: s/d

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/Fishbook.gif
(not me, but my mom!)

HAha. We had both 6 Sigma and Fish stuff at the mortgage factory I slaved in.

six sigma is total bullshit or not??

Fish obviously fits under 'search,' just because I received a package of Swedish Fish as a result! Thanks Mom!

5S

My goal in life is to never work in an environment where anyone reads or employs any of this shit.

We've got 6 sigma at our place. Instead of anyone doing any work they're all off doing these projects, so I have to do one. Turns out I've got a project too. I'll just ask my boss which very important task he wants me to drop so I can do the 6 sigms. Urgh.

I've been on the course, and it just seems like a good way to avoid anyone taking the blame for anything, or at least to implement better finger-pointing when it all goes tits up.

Oh god, some co-worker started a grass-roots fish-oriented campaign where I work. I have never actually looked at the book. I really hate that compulsory fun crap.

Is TQM still going?

I liked TQM, it was dry and meaningless.

They've renamed it 6 sigma. In the course I went on, one of the videos talked about TQM and we were told "It's called something different, but it's applicable in the way way." Well, it's the same then, isn't it?

"quality circles" are a big fad in education right now, at least in california.

we have a minimum day every two weeks (!!) and then the teachers spend the afternoon having a meeting, then breaking out into small groups to talk about whatever needs improving, and reporting back to the principals about it.

i think its just like organized bitch-sessions and times for the more ridiculous members of the faculty to act out their idealistic tendencies. it tends to make getting stuff done on those days super-difficult and breaks up the flow of instruction.

at least we're not going the route of some districts, which is to start school in mid-august and end in late june, so that there's time to have an extra three-day-weekend once per month (paid workshops on monday but no work).

they actually call it "collaboration day", which makes me think one of these days they're going to finger me as a turncoat / sympathizer and turn me in to the fascists.

getting to yes, anyone?

The FISH training video is k-hilarious, it just has all these guys catching fish saying, "Be FUN! Have FUN! at work! Make the customers have FUN!"

Transcending culture and borders, 1.6 million copies have been sold in China "despite the fact that most Chinese have never tasted cheese". Chinese books, published in 2002, inspired by the "cheese" concept, variations and critical answers to Johnson's books include[3]:

Agitating, Alluring Cheese
Can I Move Your Cheese?
I Don't Bother to Move Your Cheese
Make the Cheese by Yourself!
Management Advice 52 from the Cheese
No One Can Move My Cheese! The New Allegory of Cheese, The New Enlightenment of Allegory
Who Dares to Move My Cheese?
Whose Cheese Should I Move? by Chen Tong

A CHILD CALLED IT

ok now we're in self-help ... unless your manager actually gave you a copy?

TQM was balls, god i hated that bullshit

tell us about it

Oh yeah, my mom's workplace also did the "Who Moved My Cheese?" thing. But I don't like unmelted cheese, so DUD.

And "Highly Effective Habits of Effective People" just inspired my mom to take more responsibility for my life, so again, DUD.

the parent company of the place where i worked owned the publishing rights to TQM in the US or some such, so it was forced on us, even tho it didn't really work and there was no enthusiasm for it. just mindless corporate "thinking" sold to us as something for our benefit, when it was obv. just a colossal waste of time. i wish i could remember more details but this was like 12 years ago
xpost

i like how so many of these things boil down to "don't be a fascist," and come with training imposed in dictatorial manner via autocratic fiat.

As a point of comparison, many Buddhist movements somehow convert the basic message 'be a light unto thyself' - allegedly Shakyamuni's last words - into a series of teachings that largely boil down to the message 'do exactly what your teacher tells you'. It's a bit of a twist, to say the least, and perhaps its replication in management courses allows us to draw the conclusion that even libertarian messages may be taught in an authoritarian fashion, such that authoritarianism itself is strengthened in spite of the opposing message of the course content.

i was once given a book called "the critical chain" by elihu goldratt which contained the most hilarious opening sentence ever

haha found it - it's a "business novel" that illustrates the concept of what managers call the "critical path" in a project - i.e. what needs to get done - and here is that first sentence in full:

"The board meeting is adjourned," announces Daniel Pullman, the domineering chairman and CEO of Genemodem.

monday morning: wake up and drink the fucking koolaid

oh man i am so sorry. never had to deal w/ anything like this!

I have never had to deal with it either.

We had FISH a couple years ago which resulted in a 'team' meeting every single morning where quotes from FAMOUS MEN OF HISTORY were read to us. Eventually nobody bothered to show up because it was completely worthless. I would seriously rather be working than jump through their have fun at work hoops.

Jesus. I have enough troubling dealing with the reasonable in theory but crushingly dull and annoying in practice change request and testing framework hoops that larger companies make their IT people jump through.

We're about to begin a series of workshops in kaizen, so that's something to look forward to....

I am probably being subjected to one/more of these at my work right now and I don't even know it

Oooh, kaizen, we get that as well for those of us too stupid junior to get the full-on 6sigma treatment.

My company management training is obsessed w/ NLP. aaaaargh

none of this makes any sense to me :-(

nlp??? that shit is totally bogus!

Very single one of aforementioned shits is totally bogus.

Agitating, Alluring Cheese sounds promising, tho.

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/41kwI+UX6aL._SS500_.jpg

They've just taken away all our bins, so that we're forced to trek across the office to recycling points. In a newspaper office, that's a whole fucking ton of paper to be shifting about. It's so that we can
Re:duce
Re:use
Re:cycle

TQM/6 sigma are great in concept, work well practically for some industries (e.g. manufacturing), but can create scary monsters.

I was in a training class a couple weeks ago, and there was some sigmabot there who could not carry on a conversation without throwing in buzzwords. I'd say, "let's grab some coffee" and he'd be like, "you mean imbibe a caffeinated beverage? we should value stream map our path to the destination."

i don't know if this is a fad, given the placement i assume it is

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140309151107-175081329-you-get-the-boss-you-deserve-manage-up?trk=tod-home-art-list-large_0

but maybe it is just an epiphenomenon of neoliberalist economy collapse. of course since the move could never be 'now u manage yourselves!', since that would mean a reduction in management, the only logical alternative is YOU HAVE A DUTY TO MANAGE YOUR MANAGER