this is the thread where my mom is totally batshit insane

HA YES AWESOME.

i am the small cat

maybe I should call this person

Watch she doesn't employ a daughter communicator to see what you are really saying.

i am the small cat.

wait, this is all over the telephone??? is your mom holding the receiver up to your pets' heads??

it would be nice to know the lyrics of that song dr. ben sings all the time

i think so, tracer, i think so.

http://www.susanhamlin.com/images/dog_phone.jpg

"i am the small cat."

WELL, HE HAS AN AWESOME COAT!

the animals' spirit vibrations are passed by induction through the wire. even the variable sampling rates and silence chopping of modern VoIP can't stop the accurate transmission of pet thoughts. whichever company wants to build the first working long-distance implementation of broadband via the power lines ought to get in touch with this lady ASAP.

http://www.movieposterclassics.com/images/BigDr.DolittleJap.jpg

imagine if we could use german shepherds as wireless relays

more like "i am the cat with the HUGE CHIN" amirite lol

I am the small cat.

The small cat thing was great but I love this too:

"she knows her name is Mona and she likes that name, but if for some reason we every needed or wanted to change her name, she would like to be called Suzy. She also said Mona is not completely comfortable being a terrier yet but she'll be fine."

yeah like, wo

I'm not completely comfortable being a human woman with a full-time job yet, what can she do for me?

HELPFUL REFERENCE GUIDE
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/148/427754866_6761f8fef8.jpg = SPIDEY
NO PICTURE AVAILABLE BUT IT IS A GERMAN SHEPHERD = KALI
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/176/427895415_b90a7e3ff5.jpg = SHOO SHEE (WTF KIND OF NAME IS THAT BTW)

where is that really really cute picture of zeus

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/148/427710811_3b416b3568.jpg = SCHMOO
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/157/427778160_39e14882cf.jpg = ZEUS
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/225/522770041_e33c439032.jpg = ZELDA

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/184/427701519_bb7487ac57.jpg = MAGGIE
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/162/427779852_2a39542973.jpg = MONA/SUZY/WHATEVER

Too many pets! Good lord.

I misread that as MOMUS/SUZY/WHATEVER

there's another dog, tobey, and i'm not sure why HE didn't get to talk to the pet psychic

So your moms be compensating for daughters leaving, right.

no they always had like 50 animals, the goat etc.

tell mom to stop with the fucking dogs already

Tobey was probably on another call.

My brain hurts.

yeah there used to be another cat and another dog actually, not too terribly long ago. they died ;_;

cutty otm

Wow, this thread is great.

i wish MY mom was batshit insane.

Is Zeus a german shepherd? If so, that is odd, because he looks a lot like the german shepherd I had that I named Zeus.

no, he's a pug

WAHT

I remember the cat whisperer talk but this is beyond.

QUIT LYING, WHY U STEAL MY DED DOG?

xpost

i get suspicious if a lady i am dating has one dog

It's probably best that Tobey didn't talk to the pet communicator. You already have one pet saying nothing but "I am the small cat; do you also want one that says nothing but "I AM KUNTA KENTE"?

(Is Bear still around?)

i get suspicious if a lady i am dating has one dog

I don't date dog people. I honestly don't. If you have a dog, you're out. It's not like some rule I wrote down, I just kind of naturally lose interest, like you just told me you have a 6-year-old boy.

Dog owners breathe a collective sigh of relief.

i am the small cat.

BEAR!!!

i am a small cat, i have no use for this

I had a good mom-ism recently but couldn't find that thread. think it was on the noize dude board :/

omg this is amazing ally plz e-mail me pet woman's phone number.

Yeah, well, you get the idea.

done. tho i e-mailed directly from here and the e-mail is going to be from theschefter gmail which i don't ever check FYI!!!

well I will just go ahead and write you off.

I'm just looking for the confirmation of "Quimby says that she threw up on your bed twice yesterday because she dislikes you and wishes you would die."

ally you know we've said this on and off for years but i really do think if your mother and my mother were in the same room together the world would explode

This is so awesome. I have mailed for info. I think I might have to make contact when G is not around. What prompted your mom to do this? Also that is an insane amount of animals.

everyone, everyone, rest easily: there is an appointment on friday for tobey. he was just busy today.

my mom apparently did this because it seemed like zelda was sore. i guess the vet didn't seem like a viable option. i have no idea.

my sister claims her cat (named zeus, must be popular for pets these days) talks to aliens via his manx-like short tail and that's why he yowls all the time.

He yowls through his tail? FANCY

Are the aliens telepathcially probing him?

ok i get the small cat thing now
this is awesome

I want anyone who gets this done to report back.

plz please some one call pet communicator give names of iloxrz as pets record call report back plz

i feel like john justen is trying to tell me something, always looking at me as if to say "i am the small cat" or something

I am the small cat.

wrinklepaws wants you to know that he likes to be petted and touched all the time, but not so hard, because it hurts, and also he does not like the green things

NICE.

hahahaha oh man that would be awesome

jw said he is the boss and the dogs amuse him but they are filthy things. He also needs some extra help getting rid of his hair this year but he doesn't like being brushed so we have to remind him to relax because he asked for help.

mean I sorry

OK, this thread keeps getting better.

hahaha wtf

re: the debate that the small cat is actually BIGGER than the other cat, and that he might've meant "skinny" or "young", my mom has e-mailed me this

"HE'S A CAT! :D HAHAHAHAHA He's not a wordsmith"

touche

hahaha

isn't spidey also, like, shmoo's incestuous dad

sorry if I'm sharing the family skeletons with the internet

i am what i am

je suis un chat petit

Oh please, I have got to have this woman's info to give to my mom. (This email is cool.) She has fewer pets than your mom, but equals her in crazy, I think.

guys, i am not quite comfortable with being a terrier just yet. could you call me suzy? i think that might help. i'd like that.

thank you thank you thank you ally for sharing this

i want her to come talk to my cat and find out why she gathers reeds at the shore and leaves them by the door.

I want to know why my cat likes to bite us and knead G's balls while he's asleep.

WTF?!

i want her to come talk to my cat and find out why she gathers reeds at the shore and leaves them by the door.

OK this is kind of awesome.

is mise an chaitin beag.

She explained that they are spiritually bound to each other and Mona is also telling her the number 4.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/162/427779852_2a39542973.jpg

"4! 4!"

Poke fun all you like, but 4 is srsly significant.

Should this couple be allowed to name their child "4real"?

isn't spidey also, like, shmoo's incestuous dad

no

The Number Four!

Ally, we've established my mom and your mom are equal runnings crazy, but this is the kind of thing my hippie trusta cousin probably does constantly.

Also bah, wanted to name a dog Zelda.

Caledonia and I are absolutely going to do this. Half of the time will be spent on my cat Quimby (who is actually a cat), and the other will be spent on my Standard Poodle Fluffy Bear (who is actually a human who likes to drink).

Report will follow when I get around to it.

i am the small cat

i think "small cat" is spidey's rank. schmoo is the boss cat, spidey is the small cat. in first meetings like that it was probably just his duty to announce himself as a subordinate cat and defer conversation back to boss cat until formalities have been conducted according to protocol.

http://helpbubba.synthasite.com/

"Through speaking to Bubba telepathically, the psychic determined that Bubba is so shy because HE is really a SHE. Bubba is transgendered."

waht

i am the small cat

I like how the dog's name is google proofed in the original post.