ASHTON KUTCHER, HE IS AMAZING

all of these movies are really good, i don't know how to choose

"Dude!" "Sweet!" etc.

really should be Dude but I'm giving The Guardian a sympathy vote because I had to go review it and grudgingly enjoyed it.

the butterfly effect is still like the most hilarious movie i've ever, ever seen, so i'm tempted to vote for it. i should've specified director's cut vs theatre cut though :\

the scene in just married where he electrocutes himself with a vibrator is pretty hilarious too

dude punkd idiot

O FUCK

I LOVE THAT SHOW, TOO

Butterfly Effect of course

the stunts on punk'd got increasingly meaner and more psychotic over time

i mean DWMC? obviously, but punkd deserves to be nommed

Aside from "That '70s Show" and Dude, I've seen 0 but some Punk'd segments. (and surely THAT's his auteurist triumph? the more psychotic the better)

i still treasure in my heart always the episode where kirsten dunst basically broke down crying because they were pretending to arrest her on a dui.

i also meant to include the option to vote for "long-term banging a hot older laydee" but forgot

xpost

whiny Timberlake surely best

"long-term banging"

the one with michelle rodriguez was pretty hilarious too

best punk'd is with that kid who plays malcolm from malcolm in the middle one. he shows he's a total whiney bitch when ashton steals his car.

omg yes!!

I hate that guy

that IS a good one - also when the little kid tells his dad that jess alba or j garner (i forget) made like inappropriate sexual sugg to him

basically i just want to hang out with ashton kutcher and be bff with him

i'm 94.5% sure this is not a parody poll

I have only not seen 2 of those movies/tv shows.

I can't believe "Guess Who" and "My Boss's Daughter" are 2 different movies, I think I conflated them in order to minimize the trauma.

Ashton Kutcher and Bam Margera are like the bizarro Paul Rudd and John Cusack, beating you over the head with their incorrigible, photogenic bro-ness.

I'm going to stick with the goth fattey abortion amputee movie.

bam margera?!? don't you mean HI I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE?

i like bam margera he reminds me of 90% of my friends in high school

Bam screams at the camera and pranks people like Punk'd Ashton, Knoxville does not.

sub-stiflerean at best

stifler set a pretty high bar

ashton kutcher is like the prime example of someone i am happy to watch on tv secure in the knowledge that i don't have to deal with him in real life

i vote punk'd

torn between T7S and long-term banging

Yeahhh--Punk'd

It had Justin Timberlake in it!

ok srsly the stifler thing, wtf is wrong with you

Ally, I think that picture is from that one ChowFAP where everyone had to pose with the bear?

he wears wacky facial hair

REINDEER GAMES FUCKERS

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

who voted for the butterfly effect

go read your blog and fix yr vote

i'm thinking demi moore definitely had vaginal rejuvenation work done.
LASER VAGINAL REJUVENATION INSTITUTE

OMG CONGRADULATIONS ASHTON! I KNEW YOU WOULD WIN!

wtf at this poll.

One of the options should have been at the Kerry rally when he was like "man, in that last election, we got punk'd man"

I MEANT TO VOTE, ARGH

6 of you can't read

I WOULD HAVE TIED BUTTERFLY EFFECT FOR FIRST PLACE

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH

I WOULD HAVE TIED BUTTERFLY EFFECT FOR FIRST PLACE
http://img.radio.cz/pictures/filmy/schindleruv_seznamx.jpg

"Driver, please stop for a minute at that middle school. I want to stretch my long legs," said Ashton from the backseat of his stretched limo.

"Yes sir, Mr. Kutcher," stated his English driver, Geeves.

Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. The sound of Fergie's "Clumsy" came from the school.

"Whutz going on in there, Geeves?" Ashton asked.

"It appears to be a middle school dance, sir," responded his trusty showfer. "Would you care to attend?"

"Yes," the gorgeous skater-type replied. "I am a little lonely tonight, and I have a feeling I might meet someone special there."

Ashton went into the dance. Everyone made a big deal about him and asked for his autographs. They knew him mostly as Kelso and had not seen him in everything else he had done, especially not "The Butterfly Effect" fourteen times. Susan Walcott pushed out her B-cups to get his attention. But Ashton did not even notice her as he walked past her and her Uggs from last year.

"My name is Ashton," he declared cutely. "Whutz yours?"

"Marisa Ball," retorted the girl.

"Why are you alone?" he questioned, his dark hair flowing like a dark river.

"Why are *you* alone?" she flirted confidently.

"Because me and Demy broke up," he rejoined. "But I cannot understand why you are alone. Your such a pretty girl."

He was right. She was pretty in a very subtle way that not everyone understood at first, just as her mother told her. "Since U Been Gone" started playing. "This is my favorite song," said Ashton.

"It is my favorite too," answered back Marisa. "I always try to request it on *TRL* but I can never get through."

"I am friends with the VJs and I will request it for you next time. Would you care to dance?" he queried.

Ashton took Melissa by the hand and they slow danced. She felt she could stay in his arms 4EVA. The chaperone Mr. Burlick the Earth Science teacher did not enforce the twelve-inch rule because he saw how important this was to Marisa and to Ashton. At that moment he decided to give Marisa an "A."

"I am so glad I requested my driver to stop in Franklin, Kansas," uttered Ashton. "I want to tell you that you are very different from the L.A. girls I have met, but in a good way. Also, you will get your period soon."

The song ended. "I guess this is the end," whispered Marisa quietly.

"It doesn't have to be," reacted Ashton. "Would you care to be my date for my movie pre-mere in Hollywood that I am driving to now?"

Marisa nodded because they did not need words. The age difference would not matter as he was used to it on account of his ex. They held hands and walked through the crowd, and John Stepford looked at her jealously through his flowing dark hair.

Geeves opened the door for them. As they drove off Ashton inquired "I hope we are not followed by the poparozi from the *Entertainment Weekly*, but do not be surprised if you see your picture with me in there next issue. Would you care to be in my next movie? Its a romantic comedy about a famous movie-star who marries a small town-girl and she becomes a famous movie-star as well."

"Yes," Marisa spoke. "But first I must ask you something I have been thinking about that has been on my mind. Am I being punk'd?"

"I would never punk' you," Ashton pronounced. "Rather, I am in love with you."

They Frenched, and Geeves passed back a bottle of Crystal for them to celebrate with.

"Geeves, you are the best," Ashton concluded. "After Marisa, of course," Ashton added.

Raymond Carver you have a lot to answer for.

"I would never punk' you," Ashton pronounced. "Rather, I am in love with you."

i am trying this out as a pickup line this weekend

btw whoever wrote that is a genius

I can't believe "Guess Who" and "My Boss's Daughter" are 2 different movies, I think I conflated them in order to minimize the trauma.

-- Alex in Baltimore, Thursday, June 21, 2007 12:23 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

my brain is already starting to tell me that "Just Married" and "What Happens In Vegas" are the same movie, and one of them only came out like a month ago (don't ask me which).

Raymond Carver you have a lot to answer for.

lol

Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat. Ashton looked hot in his trucker hat.

googling my personal blog behind my back and reposting my art is a bannable offense in our new ilx, ethan!!!!!!

http://i62.photobucket.com/albums/h89/alingbert/KUTCHERLEAAGH.jpg

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA/original/Ashton_Kutcher%20-%207%20-.jpg

schef, and what

http://towleroad.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/03/17/kutcher.jpg

uh

that is terribly, completely brilliant

hi schef!!

I am friends with the VJs and I will request it for you next time. Would you care to dance?

OMG GENIUS

Yeah there are like a million keepers there

"They Frenched, and..."

omg HOW DID I KNOW that was mcsweeney's

Village Voice on the all-sorta-star Garry Marshall epic Valentines Day, feat AK: "Think of it as the Crash of romance, the Short Cuts of bullshit."

hahaha. i just finished reading garry marshall's autobiography, for my sins...

does it have a happy ending? (ie stops after Pretty Woman's box office take)

it was published in 1995, so it stops shortly after a league of their own (so, yes)

sister Penny did that one

what brave soul has seen Kutcher's gigolo movie btw

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1186370/

yeah, but he has a cameo in it. he talks about penny a lot though, and she wrote the introduction. it was actually kind of a fun read, though i have high tolerance for low-grade celeb autobiogs. (xp)

I was hoping someone had driven a stake thru Garry's heart. Penny hasn't directed a theatrical film since '01, and at least Big had something.

she was in entourage tho

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2011/03/ashton-kutchers-twitter-account-gets-hacked-at-ted-conference.html

Does it make me bad that I think the Robot Chicken Star Wars things are funny?

Also worth noting for fans of the man married to Demi Moore, the line "Dude, where's my SSL?" looks to be a nod to Kutcher's year-2000 film, "Dude, Where's My Car?" and "you've been Punk'd" is a nudge to the Punk'd series that used to run on the cable network MTV.

lol "looks to be"?

THE DREAM IS DEAD

YTMND

http://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/51499-ashton-kutcher-mila-kunis-are-so-not-dating/1334598353_ashton-kutcher-mila-kunis-article.jpg

btw ur doing it wrong, don't listen to manager at j crew, let me be your stylist

http://i.imgur.com/7zc61.png

wd watch his Jobspic at Sundance ahead of Before Midnight

gold toe

Ugh, I didn't even notice the foot. That sock disgusts me.

i often have the same reaction while reading ilx

think...sexy.

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18d0nj6yhqvs1jpg/original.jpg

http://gizmodo.com/5979949/ashton-kutchers-steve-jobs-movie-makeup-is-totally-unrealhe-is-jobs

That's Kutcher on the left, if you didn't notice. When you first look at the photo, if you aren't told what it is, it's easy to mistake Kutcher for an untouched version of the famous Jobs photo.

oh really

i respectfully disagree

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rOiXeKaUUM

ctsteelers97 2 days ago
And the Academy Award goes to Ashton Kutcher in jOBS

Ok calling it this guy is turning into some kind of Republican asshole

Anyone seen Jobs? It's fucking hilarious. Like a parody of a biopic.

I can see why this wouldn't get good reviews, but I don't know, it seemed a little better than the standard biopic to me--better even than the Gibney documentary. I thought Kutcher disappeared into the role well, there were some nice shots, and it re-introduced me to "Boots of Spanish Leather."

wow this thread doesn’t hold up

I posted above like this was a Jobs-specific thread--if it wasn't clear, that's the film I meant.